Jump to content
Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

TheGman6072

Members
  • Content Count

    646
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    32

TheGman6072 last won the day on December 15 2017

TheGman6072 had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

114 Excellent

3 Followers

About TheGman6072

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday 10/17/1998

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male

Recent Profile Visitors

4,325 profile views
  1. Yea being emotionless is better than anxiety and sadness tbh.
  2. So I have high doubts that this disease will ever go away but at the same time, I don’t want it to. I’m so used to having my brain automatically shut off when something bad happens that I don’t remember what “normal” feels like anymore. Depersonalization sucks most of the time but honestly, whenever my mind leaves its depersonalized state, it feels weird. It’s as if my mind hates not having that numb, emotionless feeling 24/7. Numbness is more relaxing than being sad or angry or overly excited. I’ve come to realize over these past 4 1/2 years that depersonalization protects us from negative emotions by shutting them down and numbing our minds. I had my car catch on fire about a year ago and if I didn’t have this disorder, I would have been losing my shit and having a panic attack. but since I have it, it automatically shut down all emotions and I just stood there calmly watching my favorite car burn as I took pictures and videos of it burning and posting it on Snapchat. When my grandpa collapsed in the kitchen, my mind shuts down and I calmly kept my composure as I talked to the paramedics. They probably thought I was high because of how calm and emotionless I was. 14 year old, pre-DP me would have been screaming and crying. Now the only part I truely hate about this disorder is the random panic attacks and having depersonalized moments while hanging with friends and having them tell me that I’m “acting strange” when I go into that mode but it’s whatever. I am not suicidal anymore so I think that’s good enough. As you can see I’m not very active on here anymore so I probably won’t be back here to read replies for another several months or longer. But this disease doesn’t seem all that bad anymore
  3. I was just driving down Pacific Coast Highway and then suddenly a dp moment hit me so severe that it almost felt unsafe to drive. My brain completely disconnected from my body while I'm driving 60+ mph and it was super super hard to not space out. Anybody else drive with DP ?
  4. Well I meant that most of my symptoms are gone but the ones that are still there seem to be getting worse :/ ! Plus, I'm fine now but I actually posted this the day after I smoked a shit ton of weed and I was feeling super depressed because I smoked too much. I'm fine with smoking weed once or twice a month. I've actually been better off smoking once a month than just being completely sober.
  5. My symptoms only seem to be getting worse and worse Next time my friends see me, I'll probably be in the back of a hearse
  6. Wow it has been a while and the site has been dead ! So for the past (almost) four months, my HPPD has drastically declined. I noticed how much my HPPD had been reduced after taking Hydroxyzine a few times. Only noticeable symptoms are walls and the floor appearing to breathe or melt when I have my eyes fixed on something. I just gotta keep my eyes constantly moving. While driving, if I just keep my eyes fixed on the road, the road will start twisting around and breathing so I have to always be looking around at all of my surroundings. I started learning how to drive a couple months ago and I am a pretty good driver. I thought my HPPD was going to make it impossible but it's actually easy and I'm a better driver than my mother. I rarely smoke weed anymore. Last time was about a month ago and I most likely won't be smoking again anytime soon because I don't want to risk it driving while stoned. I saw the Doctor Strange movie and that movie was so trippy. I actually got triggered by that movie and almost had a panic attack because the effects were so similar to my HPPD symptoms and the visuals I used to see on LSD, and Benadryl. My life at this point is pretty chill. I rarely have anxiety now but the anxiety did get replaced with something else. I easily get angry, annoyed and agitated. I have learned to accept Depersonalization and to me, it's not really a big deal to me anymore i accepted it. The constant autopilot mode actually feels kind of enjoyable sometimes especially during school. That's "Constantly being zoned out (but fully conscious)" feeling actually seems to make time go by faster Let's get this site running again !
  7. best way to lessen the anxiety : stop giving a shit

  8. I took it like 3 times before posting this, then again about a month ago. My HPPD is like 95% gone. Idk if the hydroxyzine had anything to do with it though but it went away like right after my 4th time taking it
  9. 200-300 isn't much but EVERY NIGHT ?! Jesus Christ I used to do like 400mg and most recently, 550mg but only every once in a while
  10. I was wondering if anyone has tried hydroxyzine ? I might get myself prescribed this in the future when I'm 18 as I heard it helps a lot with anxiety
  11. I have been seeing blue, green and sometimes red floating around or flashing at me for quite a while now but this visual snow with millions of tiny blue dots is new to me. I've always had visual snow since the beginning of my HPPD but not like this
  12. So my visual snow has changed to the point where it's also mixed in with some blue dots as well ! Anybody else have this ?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.