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gill last won the day on December 25 2011

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About gill

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  1. Ya, Dukkha is correct. I used to just obsess about HPPD everyday and, that's when it was the worst. It's a perceptual disorder. Well a big part of perception is attention. Whatever you pay the most attention to , this is what your mind/brain amplifies. I tried every drug, supplement, running around, whatever to 'cure' HPPD. Didn't work. Because, I never cured my obsession with it. Once I started treating my obsession with HPPD and not the visuals I started to improve. I focused on other things, the more I did the more HPPD diminishes into the background. The SSRI I took really helped to cut through the obsessions. This might be useful for people who just can't seem to stop focusing on it. And yes, I used to read here lot's of people saying to stay away from SSRIs, that they make visuals worse. Well, maybe for a few days or a week or so, but if you give it a couple weeks, everything is fine... so don't just buy everything you read here. And I'm not saying HPPD is 'all in the head' or something like that. The visuals are real. But the heart of the problem is the difficulty or inability to refocus one's attention away from them. I still have some visuals after 10+ years. Some static, trails.. etc. I don't think the brain will ever fully go back to normal because it's always adapting. You throw a strong chem at it like LSD well, it's going to make adaptations to that chemical. But if you refocus long enough, it is possible to diminish HPPD to the point where it's in the background and you're not thinking about it all the time.
  2. Not trying to diagnose anyone, but in my experience the perception of the blurring of boundaries between your sense-of-self and the external world was DP/DR related. I think often people with Hppd also have DP/DR and may not realize it; although I know the OP mentioned it. My experience is that if you can reduce dissociation, Hppd becomes much less on the foreground of perception.
  3. I'm pretty sure Hppd is a problem with sensory gating. So a 'trail' for instance is a lingering artifact of what you just looked at, hasn't been filtered out properly.
  4. Yeah there's certain things that can temporarily aggravate the visuals like too much caffeine. In my experience though, things have always returned back to 'baseline' and never got permanently worse. Important to note though that I haven't taken any psychedelics since this started.
  5. I used to believe I couldn't ignore it either; that it was too severe. I used to come to the forum and tell people who said it could be ignored that they must not have 'real' hppd. If you believe that you can't ignore it, well then you'll be less likely to ignore it.. It is a self-fulfilling prophecy. But, clearly you must have been ignoring to some degree to be able to type sentences and express yourself enough.
  6. Not trying to downplay how difficult it may be. I basically felt mentally insane for awhile with Hppd, and DP/DR on top of it! All I'm saying is it is possible to come out. Actually, it's better to get out of DP/DR first, which if done makes Hppd seem much less encompassing. It's the dissociation with things that can really make one feel trapped in their own mind and perceptions
  7. You stated that you had Hppd for years without it interfering with life, yes? My question is what makes things different now? If you were capable of disregarding it for a long time then you are certainly capable of doing that again, no? Maybe it's more challenging now to do so, but that doesn't mean it's impossible.
  8. Neuroplasticity is the adaptations I'm talking about.. the brain changes.
  9. Do you not believe the brain adapts to whatever we focus on? You don't seem to be having any problems reading what I wrote.. I used to have what some would call 'severe hppd'. It wasn't until I realized that what makes it severe was fixation. It's not some static condition that never changes.
  10. I'm saying right now my visuals have diminished from ignoring them. The brain adapts to whatever we feed it sensory . If you don't have anxiety, or worry , about Hppd then why bother giving it any attention?
  11. Seeing distortions once in awhile is much different then having an alert reaction to them. I see them to once in awhile too. But my old reaction was to automatically think 'that's a problem that I must give all focus now'.... of course this just amplifies them. But, if one sees them momentarily, but then brushes them off as not a threat, not needing immediate attention, they fade into the background.
  12. How predictable. 'Gill, you must not have REAL hppd' Guess what; back before this new forum I had over a thousand posts on the old forum. I used to think about Hppd all the time. Come here and discuss about it. Fixate on it. Now I don't. Fixation on whether visuals are improving day to day is one's worst enemy. You have to let it go. As you focus on other things, the brain re-adjusts to amplifying focus on other things and Hppd fades into the background. I challenge anyone here to not come to this forum for a month and not think about Hppd during that time... If that sounds difficult then you are in a state of obsession.
  13. Not true? Interesting.. I used to obsess about Hppd everyday. Constantly checking to see if my perception is better. Now I don't. And, it's improved.