Shadowplay

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Shadowplay last won the day on July 2 2015

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  1. I have all different kind of symtoms. You can read about them in one of my first posts here: Yes, everyone's different but our brains are quite similar in the structures itself, then there are different chemical balances and reactions. However, there is no correlation whatsoever with increased visual disturbances and the use of SSRI:s. SSRI:s have not changed my vision at all and would be an extremly rare side-effect, if even possible at all.
  2. SSRI did have 0 impact on the visuals, but my sleep paralysis is gone. I had major HPPD with all symptoms.
  3. Hi there, I haven't been active here for almost 1,5 year. I had to focus on recovering and there's some negativity in this forum which wasn't good for my mental health. I was so glad that I got help from you guys and girls when I was in the darkest time of my life. I'm better now. Still got it (2,5 years in) but I don't really care about it anymore, even though it's quite loaded. I haven't smoke weed for 3 years. No psychadelics. I've done coke and drinking alcohol without any problems what so ever. Anyways, I've had sleep paralysis since I was 15 and roughly 3 months ago I was having them 5 days a week, several times every night. You can read more about this what is medically referred to as hypnagogic hallucinations. I don't think that there is a correlation between HPPD and the increased rate of sleep paralysis. Since I had it since I was a kid and I'm 25 now. These sleep paralysis session were unbarely to me so I did some research and found about a great study at NCBI which said a man was cured after trying SSRI (Prozac). I was desperate to get rid of it as it was effecting my studies and work. So I went to the doc and as simple as snapping my fingers I got a receipt. It worked straight away. The first night actually. Which is interesting because usually you have to eat those pills for months to achieve an effect. I've never tried it before though. After a month or two with increased anxiety, that side-effect left and I feel just like before right now, except that the sleep paralysis is gone. My main point with this thread is that I would like to cancel all rumours about how SSRI:s has a negativt effect on HPPD. It is simply not true and there's no studies that proves it either. When you start taking SSRI:s your body must adapt to the medicin as it effects serotonin (which is a transmittor that affects a lot of processes, for example, your movement, thinking and your vision). This is why some report that SSRI:s would worsen the symptoms. It is simply not true. Due to this false information on the forum, I didn't use those pills when my HPPD was at its worse and I wanted to kill myself. I stayed sober for 4 months and got out. But it was a really hard time and I had so much support from family, friends and this forum. If that wouldn't been the case, SSRI:s would probably been a good idea for a person in that kind of state. I eat 75mg a day, and I've seen no whatsoever side-effects on my vision. Not even when starting the meds. But if you do, it will pass within the first 2-3 months. And maybe afterwards you will be able to focus more on your life then your vision. Another thing about depersonalization/derealisation is that I had it for roughly 6 months. I couldn't recognize my own face in the mirror. Neither my family or my body. It's gone now. It's not permanent, but a psychological side-effect to HPPD.
  4. No. Just no. I study biology and that's not how it works. If you would like to "rewire" your brain, you can try the old good electro-shocks to your skull. Some psychward-clinics still use that actually. Why you're getting symptom-free is because of that benzos agonize GABA, which will increase the flow of this amino-acid. GABA is what dampens the brain from activity. So at higher doses, it's not just your HPPD that goes away, but your whole mind. You are not functioning at this state and when the drug is out of your system, there will not be any change whatsoever of your HPPD. It might just have increased because of the side-effects of anxiety that comes with larger doses of benzos.
  5. Of course it's fine. But if you have anxiety, maybe it's not a great option. I took a caffeine pill quite late for some reason and had a night of tremor, heartbeat and sweating. Slept for 15 minutes and then went to work. Never again. But coffee works fine. I enjoy green tea too.
  6. I've had sleep paralysis, hypagogia, hypnopompia since I was a teenager, before even using any drug at all. I had a real lucid dream once. And it's a big lie that you are lucid dreaming just because that you are self-aware in a dream. I'm almost always self-aware that I'm dreaming where every scary or intense dream is just like a movie to me. I don't have any bad dreams at all. No nightmares. I enjoy it all. A real lucid dream is something else, this is where you can control everything and when you actually leave your body. You go from a sleep paralysis in your bed, and then leave your intact body and rise from your bed. So it's nothing like a dream at all. However, I do NOT encourage anyone to even try to get into a sleep paralysis, especially not if you already have HPPD or other psychological illness. It can only make things worse and it's not healthy for you. Sleep paralysis is commonly related to bad sleep, stress and alcohol usage and I don't recommend it to anyone.
  7. I didn't know who that guy was in the reflection of the mirror of myself. I couldn't understand who I was when looking on any picture of me taken pre or post-HPPD. I couldn't recognize my family's faces. I saw everyone human being as fierce and dangerous with their worst expressions. I was a floating head on an empty bed every night. I don't have anything of this anymore. It's 100% gone. I don't even think about DP/DR anymore. LethargicAcid linked me this: http://www.psychforums.com/depersonalization/topic80021.html I can't relate more or agree more with this guy or girl. This is kind of how it went for me too except for the religious and spiritual parts as I tend to relate to physics instead. DP/DR is not a part of HPPD. It is, and has been proven, a secondary psychological symtom, which is treatable. I've talked to so many doctors, psychologists and psychiatrist that have cured many sufferers without medication. Keep fighting, talk to people, live your tragic but different life. Accept your pain and let go. This worlds owes us nothing. It's all about what you create.
  8. Welcome to the club, WuWei
  9. I'm drinking a cup of japanese green tea called Drake right now. It's one of the most delicious green teas out there that's 100% pure and contains a high amount of L-theanine. I've been drinking it for over 5 months now, one cup in the morning and one at night. It gives a pleasant effect and it helps a lot. I can't comment on how it does effect the visuals but it has helped me on the psychological illnesses that comes with HPPD such as anxiety, depression and DP/DR. I do not have these problems anymore. And my visuals has been slowly decreasing during this year, either thanks to Keppra or due adaptation or that my HPPD is slowly dying out. When it started I'd say I had all common visuals, as severe as 8/10 scale. Today I'd say I'm down a 30% reduction.
  10. Yes it affects GABA just as alcohol and bensodiazepines, however it reacts so much more differently on your brain then what you feel. It's very easy to overdose as it's difficult to dose it correctly. It contains tons of chemicals that can leave permanently damamges. Between 2005-2010 there was a major abuse of GHB in Sweden where it was quite popular. It killed a lot of young adults. And it's very addictive. I'm not gonna be the one who tells you what to do or what not to do but please take my advice in consideration as I'm not taking things out of air here but I'm relating to the facts that's been proven from using this specific substance. Here's a swedish documentary about the drug and its effects in the southwestern parts of Sweden. You might not understand shit, but please watch some parts and I'm sure that you will get the point. It's a very uncommercial documentary filmed over 3 years and it contains violence, blood, drugs and death.
  11. Great news Matt! Keep us posted. I'm on 1000mg x2 a day as well, and it works fine. Sometimes I have problems with my short term memory but I doubt it has anything to do with Keppra. Since I dont have DP/DR anymore. And I don't care too much about my visuals. I might try to step down from the drug due to some strange thinking patterns. I'm not sure if it's related to the drug but I might give it a shot to go down and see how it would effect me.
  12. Wow, great news man! I'm so happy for you. I barely mind my HPPD these days. Got used to it, but all the symptoms are still there. Treat your anxiety and nothing will stop you. Do you take Naltexone everyday or is it a temporarily treatment?
  13. If you already got HPPD, why not burn your brain with GHB. Any psychotic drug affects HPPD. (Weed, psychadelics, poison etc).
  14. Great! It seems to help out for some parts. I haven't been cold for over 3 years but my roomie struck me down last week. The brainfog from a simple cold is gone after 1-1,5 hours after ingesting the mushroom. I can't comment visual effects except for that I'm getting more used to it. I got probably 400-500 gram fresh out of this one, and have been making food out of it and eating it raw for over 1,5 week. Still got left for a week.. I will be able to repeat the process 3-5 times and that's nothing for 15 euro+it's superfun to grow When it doesn't grow anymore, I'm probably going to plant the mycel out in a dead forest and hopefully it will expand and take over the whole forest so that I can supply this forum for free Do it and good luck!
  15. No, I'm afraid not. But when I go there, I'll make sure to bring you some spores