Jay1

Yea, i'm 34... 35 in September. First few years - 9/10 .......... hell on earth.... like 3/4 of a strong tab each day and very bad paranoia, depression and anxiety. Felt like my mind was poisoned and pyscically damaged. Now - 7/10 .......... (visuals, still 9/10 though).... But I can cope quite well, interact with people, make friends etc... still feel like I am tripping on 1/2 a strong tab each day, but I can deal with it, most of the time. That last tab cost me £2 ($4?) and lasted 17 years.... value for money!

So many doctors seem clueless about this stuff..... My neuro says klono is not addictive for epilepsy patients... Something I just can't believe is true. I understand they have alot to learn and keep upto date with, but you would think they would know about the more addictive, dangerous and popular drugs. ps - I know I warn people off benzos alot, but I hope people don't think I look down on anyone who does make the choice to take them, long term. I respect everyone's choices when it comes to dealing with this god awful shit.

17 years.............mainly lots of lsd, mushrooms, mdma, coke, speed, weed and, of course, alcohol. Probably tripped 100+ times and raved on pills, god knows.. too many times to count. I was a bit crazy back then I've got better in some ways, just not visuals.

I would say my baseline was established about 1 week after my last trip. Never seen any changes to the baseline since then. In some ways, it was good that I didn't have the internet to read about symptoms and look out for them.

I can't give you any advice, i'm afraid.... But wanted to wish you good luck with this, hope you start to see the light at the end of the tunnel soon. I hope people here take note of the very difficult struggle that benzo withdrawal brings.

Yes, sounds like mild hppd or pre-hppd. If you stop smoking weed and those occasional Es, it will probably go away completly. I would be VERY wary of doing anymore mdma, you are in danger of getting full hppd and taking mdma is pretty much playing russian roulette, at this point. There are so many people here who had the midl/pre hppd and then one drug experience was the one that sent them into this world of hell. Your body is sending you a message, pay attention to it. Good luck, Jay

I used to get it in the early years of HPPD..... But I put that down to very heavy drinking (there is a well known link betweek alcohol and sleep paralysis)

I really feel this is something everyone should think of doing..... not necesarily completly changing you life.... But maybe just a month or two on the road. There are two things that have made my life bearable through some pretty severe shite, travelling and working from home. If there is any possible way to make either happen, do it.

haha, good one.... I wonder if we can somehow use our powers to win at poker or something

Great! I love hearing stuff like this.... HPPD should never stop you doing what you want. Have a blast... LA looks damn cool

Yea, it is the first time he has said no to a suggestion... and that includes benzos, barbituates and opiates.... plus a multitude of epilepsy and even anti psych drugs. I might push him on the subject, if more people see a benefit

Hard to say, as I have no first hand experience with either addiction.... But seeing my cousin battle with Heroin, I can't imagine it gets much worse. It is perhaps "easier" to get passed the physical addiction of opiates... But the mental desire is huge and that is the kicker... relapse after relapse. His battle has been 15 years now, he finally seems to have kicked it for good, thankfully. Benzos don't offer that all emcompassing high, so I imagine... once you have gone through withdrawal (months/years) the desire isn't as strong, as you are not remembering that massive high... although i'm sure the pull of the anti-anxiety and sedating qualities are still very tempting.

I've done a fair few opiates, including smoking opium.... It is nice, no doubt about it... But unless you are very strong willed.... Smoking opium (or getting on the opiate path in general) will quickly lead to addiction. That's the story behind this article and SB has stated several times how quick his route to Heroin was. No matter how much you convince yourself that you are just self medicating your hppd.... you are basically just enjoying getting high, with the bonus of ignoring your illness. That is the very quickest path to addiction.

Once the kickstarter campaign is up and running, it should be easier to donate and contribute to getting the e-book done.

Yep, that's what my neuro told me (and he perscribes me anything I ask!).... Not much mention about it online though

at the moment, no.... sometimes a sleeping pill (Zopiclone) when insomnia is at its worst .... they do some strange things to my visuals though, not bad... but strange, they take away some of the VS but bring these dark webs to my vision. such a pain that benzos/non benzos are so addictive.... they definatly target the right area.

I think pregabalin is pretty strong.... knocks me on my ass if I do enough, but does nowt for my visuals/anxiety.... but I know others here have found it helped. Other than benzos.... I think all these other meds are hit and miss, maybe even placebos... but worth a go if your doc is willing. Keppra and Lamictal both had some effect on me (maybe 20/30% helpful) but had side effects that didn't agree with me.

I wonder if you should look into Lamictal rather than (or with) Keppra. It is an anti seizure med but also has anti depressant qualities.

I'm gonna drop offline for a while.... just need a break from the forum, if you need me.. PM me. Take care all, Jay

i'm the same with the booze mate... I know it kills me for days after, but I love having a laugh and a day off from all this bullshit. Have you looked into Lamictal? It has anti depressent qualities, but is not an SSRI, so doesn't mess with HPPD (if anything, my visuals went down).

welcome Kev. Similar story to me... had it for 17 years and spent 13 or so years not having a clue what was wrong and doctors passing me on and filling me with anti depressents. Glad that you have finally found your way here, My 1st advice would be to taper off the anti depressants and see where you are at (unless depression was/is your most pressing symptom). Most of us here find SSRIs make things worse, not better. If you taper down slowly, you might find that you actually start to feel better. What would you consider the symptoms you dislike most? Visuals? Anxiety? Depression? DP/DR (trippy feeling)? Do you drink alcohol, smoke?

that's my kind of skinny latté

I couldn't care less about the stigma... Why do you think I have my own photo on here... But the multi billion dollar medical company will absolutly care about stigmas. I'm just offering my advice on how might be the best way to approach them... take it or leave it

I imagine those 4 disorders would add up to about 0.1% of anxiety sufferers. Then there is the social stigma attached to this. Would a medical company want to attach itself to something that cures people who had issues from street drugs (some of which would take the cure and then start using even more street drugs). My view, our only hope lies with an overlapping cure for anxiety or epilepsy.... and that is me thinking positive!

Sounds good... I would go at them with either Anxiety or Epilespy though, not HPPD. These companies need $, so will be going for the big hitters