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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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Everything posted by Jay1

  1. Jay1

    Living with HPPD

    Welcome, have things improved since that first year?
  2. Jay1

    16 HPPD from LSD i need advice

    This is quite funny really: "Can i still smoke weed?" "well, staying totally sober is the best bet" "What about spice?" "well, staying totally sober is the best bet, no more drugs of any kind" "Just some coke then?"
  3. As there is currently no success stories section, I will pin this and all success stories can go here.
  4. How about clonazepam or one of the other benzos? They are the only meds that have any impact on my tripiness.
  5. I feel ya, i'm 23 years in now. I describe it as being stuck in those last few hours of a trip, where you are starting to feel a bit more normal, but still not quite there. Have you tired any meds?
  6. Yep, this is known as dp/dr (depersonalisation and derealisation). It often goes hand in hand with hppd visual symptoms. It's my most hated symptom. The feeling of being on a boat is also connected to this, imho. We do not feel 100% connected to our body and it puts us off balance. Even the smallest head movement can make me feel disconnected. I've always maintained that what people often refer to as hppd is actually 3-4 issues in one. Hppd visuals, anxiety, dp/dr and sometimes depression. Clonazepam is the only thing that helps me reduce these symptoms.
  7. Jay1

    16 HPPD from LSD i need advice

    My advice is to go completely sober of everything that can affect hppd (negatively or positively) so that you get to know and understand your baseline. If you just jump straight into meds that will hide your symptoms, you might then start doing things that are making you worse without really noticing it. Give it 2-3 months and see what happens with your baseline. You might start naturally recovering... If you don't, then look into meds. If the hppd gets really bad during that time though, then yes, benzos can really help.
  8. Jay1

    General advice

    I thought i'd start a topic where we can all contribute ways we have made our lives a little better (non medicinal). Get healthy and sober This is the obvious one... quitting drugs, stimulants like coffee, smoking etc.... Then eating healthily and working out really do help alot. Forget the past It is easy to get caught up in a spiral of guilt, anger and jealousy about your current situation. Why did I do drugs? Why did I get hppd? Why are my friends ok? Like all the mistakes and regrets in life... learn from it and move on (not easy, I know). These emotions will just feed the anxiety and hppd. Change your life hppd is at it's worst when we are stressed. It is impossible to avoid all stress, but do what you can to change your lifestyle for the better. If you hate your job, try and change it.... If you hate the city, move out. If your friends don't seem to support you, move on (the real friends will let you back in, when you're ready). These are big, life changing decisions... but hppd doesn't have to stop you making them. Grab your life back hppd can strip you of your ability to do the simplest tasks in life. Retrain yourself to do these tasks. If making eye contact is tripping you out, just slowly do it a little more each day... The more you do it, the more normal it will become. Same goes for all sorts of things... making small talk, going out and about, chatting to someone you are hot for. Your life isn't over This is a key thing to remember. The 1st months and years can be very, very tough... But life goes on. There are numerous people on here that have gone on to have successful educations, careers, relationships and families. hppd is not the end of your life, your dreams or your happiness.
  9. Jay1

    16 HPPD from LSD i need advice

    If you want the best chance to heal, you need to stay totally sober... No spice, no weed, no anything.
  10. Jay1

    16 HPPD from LSD i need advice

    Weed is going to make things worse, no doubt.
  11. Jay1

    16 HPPD from LSD i need advice

    Just try to relax and see how you heal over the next few months... Don't do any more drugs, try to eat well and exercise and just do things that take you mind off hppd (films, tv, books, sports... whatever works)
  12. Jay1

    Unique Symptoms

    i get outlines.. but green and blue vision shaking, not sure... more like flashing/flickering, but it does seem like micro judders in my visions too. Last two, i don't get. Smoking weed is not gonna help though
  13. I've met other people with some signs of hppd, but only ever quite mild visual snow. Not the geometric visual storm that we seem to be blessed with! I know exactly what you mean by vortexs... I've described them as digital tornados before, especially noticeable along the top of a tv or screen.
  14. Jay1

    Fasting to Cure HPPD

    Interested to hear how you get on. Good luck
  15. Yea, that swimming feeling is very much something I get too. I've always associated it with dpdr, but it could be something physical, or both.
  16. I get a feeling of being off balance, which I think is part of the dp/dr... I don;t feel attached to my body, so controlling my body is harder to do. I assume you are seeing a doctor, so maybe they can do some tests. It could be non hppd related and just coincidence?
  17. No one can say for sure if it will go away. I've had it for 23 years now. What is 100% sure is that doing more drugs will 1) Slow down any chance of recovery and 2) Bring the potential to make things MUCH worse. This is your body giving you a massive alarm bell.
  18. Jay1

    is this a bad idea?

    I would try to avoid getting full on drunk, as that has shown to have caused prolonged spikes in some people here. We're all different, but I think the pros of enjoying a few beers outweigh the cons... and yes, I blast the hangovers with clonazepam too.
  19. Jay1


    I bet if you bought up the fact that you are considering suicide, you would quickly discover that you are far from a burden. I've seen too many people kill themselves thinking they are worthless, when in fact everyone around them loves and cares for them
  20. Jay1

    oxycodone and hppd?

    Increased my visuals a bit, made dp/dr quite a bit worse. Not worth it
  21. Jay1


    I feel for you... The combination of mental and physical pain is just unbearable. I really hope the surgery works well for you, you deserve it. But please keep on fighting, you are both great people with an inner strength that not many possess and have helped countless people on here.
  22. I'm currently looking forward to a few things... Snowboard trip to Finland in early January... Having some amazing friends from Portugal/Canada visit in late January... Snowboard trip to Tignes in March. Me and my dad also have a trip planned to go and watch the huge waves that hit Nazare in Portugal (100ft+ waves)... That could be any time over the next few months. You have to put yourself out there and carry on living. Anxiety is usually at it's worst before an event... once you are there, the anxiety is usually lessened... Once you know this and can control your mindset, things get easier. Just say yes to anything you would have enjoyed before hppd and deal with the situation as and when... If you are having a bad day when the event arrives, just bow out (or blast a benzo down!)
  23. Jay1


    Keep on fighting mate, I know how hard it is, but you never know what is around the corner. What is your current situation, are you on any meds? PM me if you need anything, even just to rant.
  24. Jay1

    This Truly Feels Like The End

    Keep on fighting mate... at 19, you have the years on your side to see a full recovery or even a cure.. Even if you are in it for the long run, life can get better.
  25. Jay1

    Did I hallucinate?

    Don't worry, the glitter thing is perfectly natural... I have had that since childhood, sometimes happens when I stand up too fast or really get my heart pumping. Not sure about floor caving in, but probably related to exercising.

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