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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

Jay1

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Everything posted by Jay1

  1. Jay1

    General advice

    I thought i'd start a topic where we can all contribute ways we have made our lives a little better (non medicinal). Get healthy and sober This is the obvious one... quitting drugs, stimulants like coffee, smoking etc.... Then eating healthily and working out really do help alot. Forget the past It is easy to get caught up in a spiral of guilt, anger and jealousy about your current situation. Why did I do drugs? Why did I get hppd? Why are my friends ok? Like all the mistakes and regrets in life... learn from it and move on (not easy, I know). These emotions will just feed the anxiety and hppd. Change your life hppd is at it's worst when we are stressed. It is impossible to avoid all stress, but do what you can to change your lifestyle for the better. If you hate your job, try and change it.... If you hate the city, move out. If your friends don't seem to support you, move on (the real friends will let you back in, when you're ready). These are big, life changing decisions... but hppd doesn't have to stop you making them. Grab your life back hppd can strip you of your ability to do the simplest tasks in life. Retrain yourself to do these tasks. If making eye contact is tripping you out, just slowly do it a little more each day... The more you do it, the more normal it will become. Same goes for all sorts of things... making small talk, going out and about, chatting to someone you are hot for. Your life isn't over This is a key thing to remember. The 1st months and years can be very, very tough... But life goes on. There are numerous people on here that have gone on to have successful educations, careers, relationships and families. hppd is not the end of your life, your dreams or your happiness.
  2. It's a bit like trying to cure a gunshot wound by firing another round into it. I've tripped post hppd and it made my visuals worse.
  3. Jay1

    HPPD Story & Introduction

    Inositol worked well for my depression and also has a calming effect. My main advice is to do whatever you can to reduce stress though... If that means locking yourself in a room and watching movies or playing games for the next 3 months.. Do it.. That might mean quitting work or college, but your mental health for the rest of your life is just too important to worry about things that you can rebuild later.
  4. Yea, that's still an opinion. I've had this shit for 23 years and still don't assume to know everything and don't flat out diagnose other people based on my own, unique experience. The guy took drugs and sees shit... SSRIs may have latently triggered it. Either way, SSRI induced visual disorders and drug induced disorders are hardly inseparable (LSD and MDMA are both serotogenic drugs).
  5. Jay1

    HPPD Story & Introduction

    Welcome to the board... You are still in the early days of hppd, so there is every chance you will start to see a recovery, especially as you were quick to go sober. My personal opinion is not to rush into the meds and just get used to hppd and find your baseline. If nothing has changed in 3-6 months, then maybe start exploring meds... Just my 2 cents All the best, Jay
  6. Jay1

    HPPD

    Most of the post is good,, not sure the need for the first couple of sentences? The internet has changed... People don;t use forums much any more, things like reddit and facebook are have far more active hppd communities now. That's the nature of the beast. I pay to keep this running more for the history of the posts that hopefully help lurkers and newcomers.
  7. Jay1

    Eye Problems

    I think alot of that sounds natural.... the eye is far form perfect and due to the nature of hppd, we are contastly looking for changes in our vision and start to notice the eye's natural defects too.. See what the retina specialist says, but I think there is little to worry about.
  8. Jay1

    Drugged Without My Knowledge as a Child

    Thank you for sharing. That is an incredibly harrowing story, very sad, but I am glad to hear that you are healing. I can't begin to imagine how scary that must have been, to be tripping without knowing that it was from a drug, especially at such a young age. Feel free not to answer this, but what happened to your mother? Did she get charged? Did you manage to forgive her? It sounds like you have a very good mindset considering what you have been through.
  9. I have tried microdoses of psilocybin. It had no negative or positive effects. Everyone is different though and I 100% would NOT recommend it. Especially if you are quite new to hppd. Just go sober.
  10. stop stating opinion as fact. If the guy has taken lsd, was smoking weed and has visual issues, then hppd is as likely a suspect as anything. SSRIs might have triggered the symptoms, but no one can rule out hppd.
  11. i've had it for 23 years now too... more than possible and sadly, there are people here who are in the 40+ years club. Here's my medication regime... Not a cure, but quite the band aid! I use a 4 days on, 3 days off benzo treatment with 10 days off every 2 months to further clean the system. It has worked for 10 years now, without any sign of tolerance or withdrawal: Lorazepam (2.5mg) - Thursday 6pm Clonazepam (1mg) - Friday 9am Clonazepam (1mg) - Saturday 9am Lorazepam (2.5mg) - Sunday 9am
  12. Jay1

    Cure for Palinopsia

    I realised that due to the nature of the tv static, it doesn;t need to be a 360 video, you can just set it to play in youtube on your phone, full screen, then put your phone into the VR headset and it gives the same immersive effect. I've done 3 days now of 30 mins and it is quite relaxing (the VS clear up still only last about 20 seconds but that's impressive enough). Hopefully after some months, I might see more results. PS - you could just a get the $10 google cardboard to do the above, as long as you have a half decent phone.
  13. Jay1

    Cure for Palinopsia

    Interesting post, I remember a similar post a while ago, but never as well researched. It certainly works for me in the very short term, but i'd never thought of trying long periods over months. Something I will now be trying. Onemorestep raises a good point about trying this in VR. Having complete immersion could be really helpful. I will research if this is available, if not... I will try to make a 360 video to try.
  14. Jay1

    Seeking your help!

    No one really knows... My guess is it is neurological, some kind of receptor burn out (LSD, MDMA and SSRIs all pump out large amounts of serotonin, which can overload the receptors). Others think it is PTSD... It could be a mix of the two. re: anti depressants, I can only go on my own experiences.... SSRIs (Prozac) made me so anxious that I wanted to die and made all my symptoms worse. Inositol helped me with depression, with no increase in hppd symptoms. St John;s wort didn't really help with depression, but didn't affect my hppd. re: diet, I am vegan and make most of my meals from scratch using fresh ingredients... This has really helped boost my energy, but can't say that is had any effects on hppd, negative or positive
  15. Jay1

    Seeking your help!

    Hi Lolo, It is hard to say if you have hppd or not, but the fact that you have done recreational drugs and have VS and dp/dr makes me think that you either have hppd, or something very similar that will probably follow the same "rules" as hppd. SSRIs are generally considered a problem for people with hppd, so if you can stay off them, that would be a smart move. Maybe you could try different depressants like Inositol or st john's wort? (though please note that, with hppd, some people have issues with many medications, so taper up slowly and stop using if you see further problems). Benzos like clonazepam are used to help with VS and anxiety, but they are addictive, so try not to use them every day. They also can cause further depression, so something to be careful of too. I would try again with exercise, even if it causes some dp/dr issues after, the benefits for anxiety and depression are huge. Similar with meditation. Regards, Jay
  16. btw - at the moment it sounds like you are still in a place where you are free to choose your next steps, whereas for me, I had a mental breakdown (after a binge at Glastonbury 1995) that meant I pretty much no longer had a choice... It was either stop drugs or be in a 24/7 psychotic state. Our disorders can get almost infinitely worse and it only takes one session to go to a new level of hell... This is not a scare tactic, just a simple fact. At the very least, give yourself a real, prolonged break of months.
  17. First thing I would address is the "why me" focus. I had a very wide group of friends in the 90s rave scene and we hit it HARD... For some time I had the "why me" focus too, but what became apparent over the years is that the majority had some issues with the drug use, even if they were not quite as obvious as my hppd. Overuse of drugs will get to most people in one way or another, so try and look past the negative feelings that you were one of the unlucky few. I can't add too much more that K.B and Cosmic haven't addressed. I went from getting high in one form or another every day for 2-3 years to drug free overnight and it was very hard, you have to pretty much cut everyone out of your life who is part of the scene (for a while at least)... my friends I drugged with are still some of my best friends now, 23 years later, so it is only a temporary thing, if they are cool, understanding people.(in fact, once I quit, a few others joined me and the group in general realised we'd pushed the limits, though I had to move out of my hometown as temptation was too strong).
  18. Jay1

    Dark room therapy

    It is not great... I have different cycles of insomnia... Sometimes I can't sleep until, say, 4am, then rise at 7am... Other times, I fall asleep at midnight and then wake at 4am and don't get back to sleep. Currently, I am in a cycle where i sleep from about midnight until 2am, then get back to sleep again at 5am until 7am.
  19. Jay1

    Dark room therapy

    Will be interested to hear how you get on. Do you meditate? I think meditation techniques will be essential to get through it
  20. Jay1

    Dark room therapy

    It's an interesting idea and one I have thought about before... I'm just scared about letting my mind run amok without distractions of tv, phone etc ... my thinking gets VERY strange/trippy!
  21. Sadly, mine doesn't. Nothing makes it better, only klonpin diminishes it slightly. Personally, i think it is neurological.. receptor based. The disorder shows up on a qEEG. Also, many people get it from MDMA, an experience that doesn't really bring about panic or distress (quite the opposite).
  22. Jay1

    Hello Everyone :)

    The chances are a doctor (even a specialist) will have next to no idea about the subtleties of a condition caused by LSD. Doctors are fallible and will often misdiagnose and/or lazily prescribe something like an SSRI to help the anxiety or an anti psychotic med because you are having strange thought processes.
  23. Jay1

    Hello Everyone :)

    My advice is to just relax and see where it goes over the next few weeks. Be very wary if a doctor tries to put you on any more meds, especially SSRIs or anti psychotics, which can make hppd worse. It is very likely you will recover naturally, just eat well, exercise, and try to distract yourself from the worry. There is nothing wrong with using the ativan every day for a short period, 2-3 weeks... This might help your body/mind get over the shock of the lsd. But if you don;t need it everyday, even better. Good luck, Jay
  24. Jay1

    The HPPD Recovery Guide

    I'm sure we'd all pay $1000s of dollars for a legit cure (I offered the guy $50k for the rights, so I can make it free, if he proved it works... no response). Maybe it's just me though, but as a sufferer of hppd, I just wouldn't even give it a thought to try and cash in. I'd do everything in my power to make it free and available to everyone who suffers this shitty disorder. Anyway, as dayum says, all he has to do is send a copy to any of the mods to test, can be a watermarked screenshot. If it worked, i'd find a way to let the guy get rich and let everyone have it for free.
  25. Jay1

    Travelling with HPPD.

    I've flown 100s of times with hppd... Doesn't effect my symptoms at all. Have a good time, Sweden is a great, hope you meet Zlatan! He's a legend
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