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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

Jay1

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Jay1 last won the day on October 27

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  1. I get a feeling of being off balance, which I think is part of the dp/dr... I don;t feel attached to my body, so controlling my body is harder to do. I assume you are seeing a doctor, so maybe they can do some tests. It could be non hppd related and just coincidence?
  2. No one can say for sure if it will go away. I've had it for 23 years now. What is 100% sure is that doing more drugs will 1) Slow down any chance of recovery and 2) Bring the potential to make things MUCH worse. This is your body giving you a massive alarm bell.
  3. Jay1

    is this a bad idea?

    I would try to avoid getting full on drunk, as that has shown to have caused prolonged spikes in some people here. We're all different, but I think the pros of enjoying a few beers outweigh the cons... and yes, I blast the hangovers with clonazepam too.
  4. Jay1

    Suicide

    I bet if you bought up the fact that you are considering suicide, you would quickly discover that you are far from a burden. I've seen too many people kill themselves thinking they are worthless, when in fact everyone around them loves and cares for them
  5. Jay1

    oxycodone and hppd?

    Increased my visuals a bit, made dp/dr quite a bit worse. Not worth it
  6. Jay1

    Suicide

    I feel for you... The combination of mental and physical pain is just unbearable. I really hope the surgery works well for you, you deserve it. But please keep on fighting, you are both great people with an inner strength that not many possess and have helped countless people on here.
  7. I'm currently looking forward to a few things... Snowboard trip to Finland in early January... Having some amazing friends from Portugal/Canada visit in late January... Snowboard trip to Tignes in March. Me and my dad also have a trip planned to go and watch the huge waves that hit Nazare in Portugal (100ft+ waves)... That could be any time over the next few months. You have to put yourself out there and carry on living. Anxiety is usually at it's worst before an event... once you are there, the anxiety is usually lessened... Once you know this and can control your mindset, things get easier. Just say yes to anything you would have enjoyed before hppd and deal with the situation as and when... If you are having a bad day when the event arrives, just bow out (or blast a benzo down!)
  8. Jay1

    Suicide

    Keep on fighting mate, I know how hard it is, but you never know what is around the corner. What is your current situation, are you on any meds? PM me if you need anything, even just to rant.
  9. Jay1

    This Truly Feels Like The End

    Keep on fighting mate... at 19, you have the years on your side to see a full recovery or even a cure.. Even if you are in it for the long run, life can get better.
  10. Jay1

    Did I hallucinate?

    Don't worry, the glitter thing is perfectly natural... I have had that since childhood, sometimes happens when I stand up too fast or really get my heart pumping. Not sure about floor caving in, but probably related to exercising.
  11. Great post, thanks. Just to add to the clonazepam section.... Here is a system that I use which allows a lot of relief with minimal risk of addiction/tolerance (it's worked now for 10+ years). I use a 4 days on, 3 days off benzo treatment with 14 days off every 3 months to further clean the system: Clonazepam (1mg) - Thursday 6pm Clonazepam (1mg) - Friday 9am Clonazepam (1.5mg) - Saturday 9am Clonazepam (1.5mg) - Sunday 9am Please note that if I feel ok on any of these days and have no social situations, I often skip the dose that day. And, of course, you could pick and choose any days, but they need to be in blocks, eg, mon, tue, wed, thu. This works for me, but tread carefully as these are crazy addictive drugs... Maybe try 3 on, 4 off first and never skip the 2 weeks off part. This is essential to test your tolerance and addiction.
  12. Jay1

    Medication Pins?

    If someone with a good insight into the medical side of hppd wants to write a post about medications, I will happily pin it. As it is, most of the posts are just personal accounts about it and don't really seem pin worthy. If you know of a specific post that you think is pin worthy, please post a link and I will take a look. If I get some time in the week, i might try to put together a post about the pros and cons of all the usual medications
  13. People link floaters with hppd because, at onset, they are constantly monitoring their visual field and start to notice the natural things too. I had floaters since about the age of five. If they are problematic, you can get surgery that blasts them (they come back after a few years) Glad the flashing has stopped for you
  14. Jay1

    UK HPPD Documentary

    I've had a few video chats with them... Nice guys and I think it will be a very good, balanced program. If my anxieties allow, i'll possibly be doing part of the documentary. But if you are in the London area and would like to participate, then drop them an email
  15. Jay1

    General advice

    It did for me.... MDMA ruined my life. Here's a tip... Every single drug has the potential to make this worse, literally every single one.
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