SomebodySomewhere

..

I don't need the stress.

Hopefully people still come here...

Based on all the info you provided, no, I don't think you have HPPD.

If these symptoms persist after giving birth, then maybe, but it sounds like your doctor is likely correct imo.

Congratulations Holly.

Hope is important.

@Spartan I'm not surprised you ended up in the hospital. You can't stop benzos cold-turkey, EVER. You can literally die. You got lucky.

Make sure if you're taking Klonopin, that you are consistent as far as dose goes, and again, do not stop abruptly. You have to taper as slowly as possible. Withdrawals will also exacerbate HPPD and DP/DR symptoms.

Everyone reacts to substances differently.

If you feel klonopin makes your life more bareable, and the other schedule isn't doing it for you, first read up on just how addictive kpin is and how bad the withdrawals are. If you still feel it's worth it, then going through a doctor perhaps begin taking it daily.

When you do take it, what is yoyr typical dose?

@Sheyrangely You're seriously promoting bongs to someone that has hppd made worse by thc? Come on.

@sapphicc You're handling it well, dont mess up by using weed. The Lexapro could be causing worse symptoms. If you feel you need to, try reducing the dose and see if it helps.

Do you feel it's possible that your hppd symptoms could be heavily influenced by your migraine with aura and car accident?

I'm just playing devils advocate, I don't doubt you got HPPD from Valerian. I'd have to look it up but I believe valerian affects both gaba and serotonin.

Wellbutrin caused mild visuals and made me an angry mess. However, anger is often an issue with me, but I do feel welellbutrin made it worse.

@Siren001

I do feel your pain, really I do. It sounds like you're at your wits end looking for help.

The only thing we are asking is to be nice. Jay1 is a great admin, we're lucky to have him. 

I truly do feel for you. As for being banned from r/hppd, they give horrible advice anyway. Many of us have had bad experiences there. I know I'll never return there.

This forum is full of reasonable, nice people that want to help. This includes Jay1, who both moderates and funds this community. He's the last person anyone should get mad at. I've been here pre-nodid, and can attest he's always been amazing.

I'm changing from being frustrated with you to realizing you're simply in pain. Just be civil and we'll be happy to help. The Australian research is a great idea, just don't be mean about it.

I genuinely am wishing you well. Please try and put yourself in our shoes given your initial reaction. Nobody hates you, we're all on the same side.

@Siren001

Your actions vs. your supposed intentions are quite different. You say you're just trying to be helpful, and then you downvote anyone you disagree with, insult pretty much everyone, meme this stupid, zoomer, crybaby bullshit at people, not to mention the PM you sent me whining that I had the horrible nerve to criticize you. I have no sympathy until you stop being a dick to everyone (intentional or not, that is what you are doing and continue to do). If you want help and support, this is a good forum for that. If you want to be a know-it-all and intend on making everyone feel bad then please fuck off and don't come back.

You also do not know the history behind this forum, and the amount of research that has been attempted/done before. Some of that isn't your fault: the forum had a problem at one point and many old posts were lost from my understanding. You might be able to find nodid.org, created by this site's founder, through web archivs, that also owns this site. Nobody has been sitting by simply hoping for the best, people have done exactly what you are saying. There have been many efforts over the years to create better lives for all of us. To suggest otherwise is a slap in the face. Nobody is sugar-coating anything.

By all means, if you want to be miserable then be miserable, just don't do it here.

Currently, there is a reality, which is until people start giving a shit about HPPD, and recognizing it as real, there truly isn't much that could be done other than to learn how to live with it, and to support each other through tough times.

You keep assigning people blame for not doing more to help HPPD. What have you done? Oh yeah, that's right, nothing.

Until you stop this crap this is the last time I'm speaking with you like you're an adult. I don't regret insulting you, you deserved it.

On 10/7/2023 at 2:17 PM, tomvillen said:

My HPPD started after taking valerian root (with prior use of MDMA but that was 6 months before! and no signs of HPPD until that moment). But it can be highly individual, I am not sure why this triggered HPPD for me.

This interests me.

You say MDMA 6 months prior, but what about any other substances since then? Weed, even alcohol in proximity to taking the Valerian, or even an SSRI? Anything at all.

What HPPD symptoms do you have, and do you have DP/DR as well?

If you have no anxiety surrounding it, which seems rare, you're a rare instance where I would NOT take medication. You're able to deal with it, which is great. It may very well go away on it's own. There is no evidence to suggest any medication we take for HPPD or DP/DR can get rid of it, it's more to mask the symptoms.

I had HPPD and DP/DR for over a decade. Both went away (mild cases of both still, but totally livable).

The idea of it going away on it's own is not unrealistic.

I think the idea of DP/DR being a PTSD type of response is correct, especially given the non-HPPD association between DP/DR and PTSD.

14 hours ago, Siren001 said:

My POINT is that HPPD is way more common than thought and must be researched that way there’s a chance we could go back to normal. You really glorify this thing of ours way too much. 

It really needs to be said at this point: you are a total fucking cock.

Fuck off back to Reddit you over-opinionated piece of shit.

Forget it, it's not worth it.

I'll agree that it isn't perfect. I've asked it some programming questions that is has gotten wrong.

Still, I feel like it's a step in the right direction and may hold some value if you take it with a grain of salt like you said.

11 hours ago, Jay1 said:

My baseline is pretty stable now and the feeling is constant, but predictable. A few things can change that for me.. 1) Lack of sleep or broken sleep 2) Stress 3) Meds/Drugs (inc alcohol).

I think getting natural waves/spikes is actually a good sign and indicates your brain is trying to work out and fix the problem. 

Hey Jay, I hope this isn't too personal, but I know you've been here for many years now.

What HPPD symptoms, if any, have gone away for you?

What HPPD symptoms occur at your baseline?

From worst to tolerable, how would you rank your tolerance for your current HPPD symptoms?

Have any HPPD symptoms simple gone away over the years?

I feel like I can explain why some choose to continue pursuing psychedelics as an answer after having had HPPD go away:

Before I ended up with HPPD, I felt like I had some very deep experiences from psychedelics that showed me the errors of my ways, how to improve myself, and how we are all interconnected. I regret getting HPPD, but I don't regret any of those experiences. It felt like getting years of intense therapy within a 4-8 hour time span.

For those continuing to have rough lives post-HPPD, I can totally understand the desire to turn to psychedelics for answers to life. I'm not saying it's wise or smart, but I get it.

Like many others, I'm becoming obsessed with ChatGPT and possible implications.

I want to hear thoughts from others on the use of A.I to associate risks, and in general ask questions about HPPD to A.I. Is it a good or bad idea? Please explain your reasoning.

Here is a recent question I asked ChatGPT A.I (I asked it to rank these substances based on risk of psychosis as well as risk of HPPD):

Hi,

These days everyone is on Reddit for better or for worse. Old fashioned message boards like this are on the decline.

I and others I've talked to have had awful experiences with the r/HPPD subreddit. Lots of idiots there that have no clue what they're talking about.

I don't know how much reddit Karma is needed to create a new subreddit, but if enough people like this response I'll see about creating an alternative to r/HPPD on reddit.

When I went through an old USB drive I found the database of HPPD articles I had helped organize for David Kozin years ago. With his permission I would post all of those articles as knowledge is power. @David S. Kozin May I have your permission? The last time we spoke I was a drunken/high/abusive prick so I don't blame you if you tell me no, I just hope you're doing well buddy, sincerely.

I'm glad I read this post. I started using weed again for a long time, justifying it by the fact I no longer suffer HPPD symptoms.

I've been in a state of weed-induced psychosis multiple times, one of which nearly lead to some jail time.

Whenever I've smoked weed, it's like I'm tripping again, and not always in a good way.

It's really not worth it.

1 hour ago, Fawkinchit said:

Did you get vaccinated?(not recommending it by the way).

*Sighs*

Quote

Interestingly enough the OCD may even be a manifestation of the HPPD. HPPD appears to be somewhat similar in fashion with other mental disorders and derangements. Some HPPD patients suffer from what I would call pseudo schizophrenic related issues like paranoia, it even appears to blunt social behaviors as well, a lot of symptoms that though mild, still appear, and seem to be relatively unnoticed by usual HPPD patients. It is very difficult to relax with HPPD, for sure, sometimes the anxiety that is HPPD driven, is quite overwhelming. Some people may think the anxiety is driven by the visuals, etc, however it appears to be a symptom direct from HPPD itself. Definitely though negative thoughts can accelerate other symptoms, not that they are the cause, but rather can invoke bodily survival reactions, which definitely can make symptoms worse, then sufferers can soon find themselves in a cascading spiral of anxiety, fear, and dread as you put it. 

This is actually really interesting. Do you have any links to back this up? I'm not contradicting you, after all the posts I've read I'm inclined to agree, just curious if you have any research articles I can read that touch on this?

Yeah, a teaspoon is 5g, and from all the reading I did, typical dosage for a variety of symptoms ranges from 2g-3g, 5g being the upper end.

I do want to point out that there have been cases of kidney and liver failure when taking Black Seed Oil, though it sounds rare and there is conflicting ideas on whether BSO was the actual cause.

It can also interact with different medications, as it interacts with the CYP450 liver enzyme.

I had started taking it as it has implications in treating Diabetes (I'm on the verge of pre-Diabetic), it's good for your skin and hair (it has Omega 3, 6, and 9 fatty acids in a nearly perfect ratio), and I've found it helps with anxiety, stress, and agitation.

As I understand it, it's believed to work on GABA receptors and Serotonin receptors to some extent, possibly Dopamine as well.

I did all this research a long while back, so it could be I'm pulling some of this out of my ass, just trying my best to be helpful, my guess is @Samy-M knows more accurate info than I do.

I do know that in the Middle East, Black Seed Oil is considered a cure-all tonic, that's been in use for a very long time.

@Samy-MWhat brand do you use, just out of curiosity? I have "Mother Nature Organics" brand.

I really hope this can help people with HPPD.

Yes, you can get HPPD from Mescaline. Plenty of people have developed HPPD from using phenethylamines, 2C-B being a classic example.

I have black seed oil laying around that I bought for other reasons (helps with social anxiety, calms me when irritable, and it's just generally really healthy).

I will say that I noticed odd visual effects sometimes when taking it, so I stopped, which is interesting as I'm otherwise free from HPPD.

That being said, sometimes things need to become worse before they get better. Like your brain is being re-wired in a positive way.

Interesting.