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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

Swartz

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Everything posted by Swartz

  1. I'll address the rest of your post later, I just wanted to say that your idea of having Xanax in the morning and Valium in the evening is really not a good idea. Xanax has a short-half life, and generally won't be helpful. By taking Xanax all the time, and especially combining the two in the manner you're talking about, the likelihood of you ending up having some really bad withdrawals and side effects seems likely. Stick to the Diazepam, or Clonazepam preferably, but try and get a prescription rather than buying it on the street. I know you said Scotland and I have no idea what the laws are like there, but that idea you mentioned strikes me as dangerous.
  2. Hi and welcome. Sorry it took you so long to be able to register. I sent the site owner a message on Twitter (he's only active there these days) asking him to come here and check in on some things, hopefully he'll see this and sort out whatever caused that as well. I'm so sorry that it is so severe for you. I remember when that whole Salvia legal-high craze was going on. It makes me really angry that they promoted that as some sort of weed-alternative when in reality it's one of the most intense hallucinogens out there and it typically gives nothing but bad trips, in fact, I can't think of a single positive experience from Salvia I've ever read. The receptor binding is interesting and makes me wonder if a KOR antagonist like Naltrexone would have any relieving effects (Important: I have no medical training and this is not medical advice, it's just my curiosity). What dosage of Diazepam do you take? It's worth noting that those of us who go the benzo route typically choose Clonazepam/Klonopin, though I'm returning here after a long absence, I'm not sure how others typically respond to Diazepam, it's worth doing a search. Although this forum isn't as active as it once was I'm sure even by reading through existing threads and using the search function, you can find a lot of helpful information.
  3. I didn't get my HPPD from DXM, just the visual snow, I should have worded it better. I didn't know that about Nutmeg.
  4. Swartz

    Update

    HPPD does seem to differ a lot from person to person, I'm sure you're not the only one without visual snow. I also imagine the drug that triggered it probably plays a role. In a way I don't like the term "Hallucinations" or "Hallucinogen" because it can lead people to misunderstand and think you're delusional or schizophrenic, seeing things that aren't really there, like dead relatives walking around or Mickey Mouse walking around telling you to start fires 😄. I like the term "visual distortion" better, I feel it's more accurate (distortion of existing visual elements), and back when I did use hallucinogens I always referred to them as psychedelics, again, due to stigma.
  5. Nope, I don't. When I first developed HPPD I probably did at first just because I was wondering what the hell was going on, but not since.
  6. Hey, I had missed this post somehow. As I had mentioned, my visual snow was definitely brought on by DXM (Dextromethorphan), which I abused off-and-on for a couple years starting at age 14 due to being a dumbass teenager that couldn't get my hands on any decent drugs. I'm pretty sure my visual snow developed after the first trip, and got a little worse with repeated usage. I do remember it bothering me a little at the time, but now that I'm in my 30's, and having developed full-blown HPPD at age 20, it's the symptom that bothers me the least. Even with Clonazepam it is still there, but again, so mild that I rarely even notice it. I also wonder if being near-sighted and spending lots of time in my life in front of my computer may have played a role in it. As an aside, an odd thing I've noticed is that if I wear my glasses, the visual snow is slightly more noticeable, which is why part of me wonders if maybe it wasn't the DXM after-all but more of a physical issue related to my eye health. I remember you mentioning that you felt that your visual snow was brought on by the drug Actifed, right? I looked up the ingredients: pseudoephedrine and triprolidine (anti-histamine), assuming of course this was pre-2006 (got this off of Wikipedia). Pseudoephedrine certainly has some dangers associated with it, but if I were you I'd look more into the anti-histamine side of it. Although I no longer trust r/HPPD at all, according to them they believe anti-histamines can cause symptoms. Might be worth doing some independent research (Pubmed is your friend, also, try Erowid.org "trip reports").
  7. Thanks, I didn't put too much thought into this before because my monitor does have a blue-light reduction feature that I keep on and only turn off if doing stuff like Photoshop, but I did just turn on Windows 10 "Night Light", which also reduces blue light by giving it an orange tint. I actually haven't been having anymore HPPD symptoms for ~6 days, but that's because I went off my SSRI finally... Still, good to keep in-mind for others and if I end up having returning symptoms.
  8. Don't do it: http://hppdonline.com/topic/7733-update/ Don't take suggestions from Reddit's HPPD subreddit, they don't know what they're talking about. Stick to this forum.
  9. I tried contacting David Kozin here through PM (he's the site owner) and he didn't respond, but I know he's very active on Twitter. I've met him personally and known him a long time, he might be willing to figure out who could help. I'd create a Twitter account but I hate Twitter and would prefer not to go back there if I don't have to. His username on there is @davidkozin
  10. Definitely good advice. As for tolerance, I did think of that and had my mother try to take higher and higher dosages, but it still ceased to help. There was a special on 60 Minutes, CBS, where they talked about this very phenomena but I don't have a link. That website looks great.
  11. I don't doubt that's true for you, as everybody varies, but I was here a long time before this current account, and in general a sizeable amount of people that have HPPD that end up using marijuana again end up with permanently worse HPPD symptoms. I feel it's not wise advise to give people to take weed, they may be unlucky and it can end up destroying their life even further. I do understand your point of view, I just personally feel like this is the wrong advice to be giving to him, especially right now.
  12. One thing I want to say about CBD is that if you can order a variant online that claims to be free of THC that's definitely the better route to go. CBD is very interesting, but also a bit tragic in terms of it's long-term effectiveness: there are a lot of accounts of it helping for a long time then suddenly ceasing to work at all. The same is true for my mother. I convinced her to take CBD for Chron's disease, and it helped for a long time, and then out of the blue it ceased to work at all. It's a stange thing that seems to happen to lots of people that take CBD for any reason, so just be aware of the fact that it may poop-out after a while. Another thing I've noticed, is that if CBD has any traces of THC at all it tends to make me depressed and my thinking strange, so be aware of that as well. Quite frankly I don't recommend CBD at all, everything else listed though is great advice.
  13. Melatonin is definitely a great suggestion, but make sure you stick to the smallest dose possible and take periodic breaks from taking it at all. If you take it every day without any breaks eventually your brain will be unable to produce melatonin properly on it's own which is obviously very bad which is why you need to take breaks. Some other suggestions I would make are Valerian Root and Chamomile tea. Both will relax you and calm you into sleep, more-so with Valerian though, especially since it works on GABA receptors. My nurse practitioner told me this so take this with a grain of salt, since he doesn't always know what he's talking about, but since I take Clonazepam twice a day he's told me to avoid taking it close to bed-time as apparently it can disrupt sleep. Don't know if that's accurate/true though. I also tend to trust Pharmacists far more than anyone else when it comes to medications, so if you have questions they always seem to be the best bet. Pharmacology is a Doctorate degree, and they tend to really know their shit.
  14. I definitely have to echo that SSRI's are not a wise-idea right now. When I first got HPPD it made things worse. Years later I was able to use them, and for a long time, up until recently, I'm currently tapering off of Lexapro at a rapid-pace due to a return of HPPD symptoms. For HPPD symptoms, and I feel like a jerk for recommending something so insanely addictive, but honestly the only drug I've tried that has dramatically reduced my HPPD is Clonazepam. Before going on it though, you need to realize two things: 1) Benzos are some of the most addictive substances on the planet. If you were on a moderate dose of Clonazepam or any other benzo for a sustained period of time and went off cold-turkey you'd risk death. It really is something you need to take into consideration first, especially since tapering off of any Benzo, if that ends up happening, is incredibly difficult 2) Most psychiatrists are totally ignorant not just about HPPD, but about Clonazepam being an effective treatment. Come armed with loads of printed out info if you go that route, and be pro-active, be your own advocate: make it clear you're not just some drug-seeker, you have a legit need for it. Alternatively, it looks like others have had success on this forum with Keppra and Lamotigrine. I can't vouch for either, I've never taken the later, and the former I took for only a short while and I ended up having a prolonged manic episode, but your experiences may vary. In terms of the depression end of things, consider more natural routes: Omega 3 fatty acids, lots of exercise, meditation, yoga, Probiotics, there are a number of natural ways to help feel better (and no I don't mean stuff like St. John's Wart, that carries the same risk as SSRI's).
  15. First of all: don't do anything rash. This forum isn't as active as it once was but we all care and want to help, and if need be try a more active place to get some help. Considering how badly you're feeling, and how hopeless, if you're willing to accept being addicted to benzos, I have to admit that getting an every-day prescription to Clonazepam/Klonopin would be a good idea. Xanax's half-life is too short to be helpful long term, whereas Clonazepam has a great track record. It will reduce your symptoms and help you feel more normal again. I totally get where you're at, I was at that same level myself, having the same thoughts. Klonopin is why I'm still here and still feel it's definitely worth sticking around. The fact that anti-psychotics didn't help and made things worse makes sense: that's the case for all of us, whoever diagnosed you with drug-induced psychosis is an idiot: it's clearly HPPD, not psychosis, and you definitely don't sound at all delusional. I strongly suggest going on Pubmed, and printing out all the studies you can find on HPPD, specifically those mentioning Clonazepam as effective treatment, printing them out, and bringing them to a Psychiatrist with a working brain (though I know they're in short supply). I sincerely wish you the best of luck, I totally get where you're at. I'm not as active here as I'd like to be but feel free to PM me anytime and I'll do my best to get back to you as soon as possible.
  16. That gave me a good laugh (both posts). I was wondering where that bleach post went...after reading that my head practically exploded at the stupidity being given as advice. For the record bleach-guy: you have likely shortened your life due to the retarded treatment you chose. God only knows what's going to end up happening to you. Most people know that bleach is a tad toxic...
  17. Good point. Dedicated forums do indeed seem to be on their way out. It's a shame but I do get it.
  18. Yeah but that's also true of r/HPPD and they're far more active then we are.
  19. Especially after the article in The Independent, I don't understand why so few people use this forum, I was expecting an influx of new people joining. I know I must seem obsessed with it, but I realize the reddit sub-forum r/HPPD is very active, but considering what bad/inaccurate advice they give, I feel like it would be worth it to flood them with posts explaining how they don't know what they're talking about, and to come here for accurate info. Obviously any account that does this will be banned, but it's worth it if even a few people see it before the post is deleted, and it's easy to keep signing back up under new free email addresses on Google or whatever and just essentially spam them with this stuff. People with this condition need to be able to get accurate information.
  20. Swartz

    Update

    I know HPPD and visual snow are linked. I'll take a look, I know this is a subject you seem passionate about. I got my visual snow from DXM, in-case you were curious.
  21. No problem. Anymore questions feel free to ask.
  22. Swartz

    Update

    No problem at all. In terms of visual snow, I do have it, but I actually first developed visual snow at 14, long before I ended up with full-blown HPPD (age 20). Maybe it's due to the fact I got it at such a young age, but that's actually the one symptom I have that doesn't tend to bother me, but my visual snow is also fairly mild. In terms of being housebound and disabled because of visual symptoms, I have definitely been there, and I'm so sorry it's so severe for you right now. I definitely remember how that feels and how scary it is. To answer your question, as to if benzos have reduced my snow, TBH I'm not sure. Looking at a white wall just now I see some very mild snow, whether or not it's milder than when I'm having full-blown symptoms I don't remember, and it's also worth pointing out that although I was symptom free for a long time I am having HPPD symptoms again lately due to an SSRI, so it could also just be the visual snow returning for me because of that. Sorry I don't have a more helpful answer on that. I'm sure others could weigh in.
  23. Drinking won't make your HPPD symptoms worse (at least it doesn't for most), but it can be a really easy way to become an alcoholic because it actually tends to reduce symptoms for a short while (because it works on GABA, like Clonazepam does). The only risk besides that is if you were prescribed clonazepam and drank on top of that, that can be dangerous, but it sounds like you have a really good attitude about your symptoms so you might not start taking that anyway. The only other thing I can think of in terms of drinking is that hangovers can temporarily make symptoms worse, so just be aware of that as well.
  24. Hi and welcome, The first thing I wanted to touch on is how you mentioned maybe smoking weed again, let me be clear: you can't use drugs anymore, not even weed. Weed can permanently make your symptoms worse, don't do it. In my own personal experience, HPPD doesn't get worse on it's own, the symptoms you have are the symptoms you have, again, unless you make a bad decision like using weed or any psychedelics ever again. There are medications that can help, I'm not going to push any, I'd suggest thoroughly reading the Medication sub-forum and deciding what sounds best for you if you wish to go that route.
  25. Now, after all these years of being symptom free, I'm experiencing HPPD symptoms again (though I'm thankful it's nowhere near as bad, but that's because I'm on clonazepam). I feel, and my prescriber feels that the return of my symptoms is due to Lexapro, so I'm currently tapering off of it entirely. Anyway, onto computer monitors. I tend to spend a LOT of time on my PC. In the past I would notice it could aggravate symptoms, and sure enough it's happening again. I feel like I'm having to spend less time watching movies and playing games as sometimes it makes it worse. Has anyone found any solutions that work for them for minimizing HPPD symptoms due to using their computer monitor? Anything that you've found helpful in your own experience I'd be happy to hear. I own a high refresh-rate monitor, 144hz, which I feel is a big no-no with HPPD, but luckily I can turn the refresh rate back down to the normal 60hz if I want, and anything in-between. I just wanted to mention that, because if you're considering a high-refresh rate monitor for gaming or whatever, personally I'd advise against it. Another strange thing I've noticed, is that ever since I properly color-calibrated my monitor, that has also made symptoms a bit worse, though I can't figure out why that would be. Damned if you do damned if you don't.
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