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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

Swartz

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Swartz last won the day on June 23

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About Swartz

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  1. Hi and welcome, People with HPPD do not have delusions and do not hear voices so I'm inclined to say yes, you have Schizophrenia, and you should speak to a Psychiatrist. In an instance like this anti-psychotics are not a bad idea, especially since you've been on them before and they worked. Although you say you have no family history of Schizophrenia, unfortunately with psychedelics, contrary to popular belief, you don't need to have a family history of X disorder in order to develop it from them. I feel the people that people that claim that those who end up with mental disorders from psychedelics have pre-existing conditions are those from the pro-psychedelic community who have no interest in taking such matters seriously...unless it happens to them.
  2. You hit the nail on the head, this, a thousand times this. Everything is "fake news". The whole world is going down the drain, and people are becoming dumber each day. I blame social media. I'm starting to hope that the human race does end, and that a more intelligent species evolves after we're gone. Each day I give up further on the human race and just want to be alone.
  3. I'm not surprised, pro-psychedelic cocksuckers not believing it. You know what? Fuck them, right in the ass. Let them continue their psychedelic use until they get it themselves. It's called karma. *Edit* I went a bit overboard, deleted the worst of it
  4. I know I answered you via your PM, but wanted to put the gist of it here for others to read: I've been feeling panicky ever since. I'm just doing everything I can to relax, I've noticed my ability to handle stress isn't as good as it was. I'm hoping my anxiety will subside within a few days. I hope it didn't make my HPPD worse. So far I'm mostly just noticing some anxiety, and when the anxiety is bad some DP/DR symptoms. I really fucking hate Reddit. I wish there was a way to get that subreddit shut down, but the whole site is run by an idiot, and the people who run that subreddit clearly don't care if they hurt people. People, there is one single drug we know for a fact works:: Clonazepam. That's it. Everything else is anecdotal. The people of Reddit may not like that, but that's because they're retarded. Fuck them.
  5. /\ This. Stop with the damn supplements, learn from my mistake.
  6. So I had been taking L-Tyrosine for a while for two reasons: 1) I heard it can be good for depression, and 2) People on r/HPPD had been using it saying it can help with HPPD (yeah I know...and here I am always saying to ignore them). I took a little more than usual early Tuesday morning after no sleep. I ended up getting very disoriented, felt very weak, felt manic, and started having small hallucinations (not the HPPD kind, I mean actual seeing shit that wasn't there). I became so disoriented I dialed 911 and was brought to the E.R. My vitals came back fine, and they gave me stuff to calm me down. After sleeping most of yesterday and last night, I feel a lot better today, but still a bit shaky and anxiety-ridden. I think my Dopamine levels were simply increased way too much by the supplement, causing basically all the symptoms you'd expect with high Dopamine levels.
  7. I have a new question about this. Even with my audio interview I gave, I'm wondering if it may do more harm than good. I'm widely disliked in my community, I live in a small town and people tend to spread things around that aren't entirely true, and as a result I have a bad reputation. I'm thinking for that reason it might be better to pull my account from the documentary, as people might not as readily believe it. Then again, it sounds like this is somewhat anonymous. On the flip-side of that, I feel like I don't really have much left to lose and have considered doing a thorough on-camera interview. I'm just trying to gauge how much extra bullshit I might have to deal with in my life if I do that. I was already dumb enough to use my real last name here, so it's not like what I say is 100% secret.
  8. Alright, I have more time now. I think you meant what is it like to get HPPD after tripping many times without issue? I'm sorry if it's a simple question, I've been drinking a little. In reality, I had tripped on a dissociative drug, DXM (cough syrup) around 50 times, and then on various Psychedelics when I got older and gained access to "real" drugs, perhaps another 50 times. The drug that caused my HPPD is a "research chemical" called 4-AcO-DMT, and was first proposed by a Harvard student as a safer alternative to shrooms. Apparently all these years later, 4-AcO-DMT has gained popularity, and they've found it actually has more in common with DMT in many ways than with shrooms. I'm going to skip over the exact details of my bad trip, but I remember waking up the next day and noticing that things still looked off, but that wasn't unusual, some drugs take a while to leave your system, so I didn't let it bother me that much. But then days went by and I still had visuals and depersonaltion/derealization symptoms. As time went on I started to realize that it wasn't going away. At first I thought maybe, since the drug was so new and since I got it from what's now referred to as the "Dark web", that maybe the batch was tainted, and I had been poisoned, leaving me with brain damage. That didn't end up being the case. Then I thought, well, I must be in a state of psychosis, or maybe I'm one of those poor bastards that has developed Schizophrenia due to psychedelic use. However after reading about psychosis, schizophrenia, and other delusional disorders, it became obvious that none of those fit. Eventually, after spending a lot of time doing research, I kept reading about "acid flashbacks" and thought that it didn't fit, since my deal was a never-ending trip. Then I stumbled upon this site and what was formerly nodid.org. I finally found out what I had, it made perfect sense, and I even found that there was a treatment option: Clonazepam/Klonopin. I read all the research articles presented here and on Nodid, and eventually I volunteered to help David Kozin (site owner) with anything he needed due to how grateful I was of having found what I was suffering from. He had me organize a database of research articles related to HPPD, which helped me out as I read every article as I did the organizing. I ended up printing out all the research pertaining to Klonopin as treatment for HPPD, and brought it to my Psychiatrist. I am very lucky that he was open-minded and took the time to read what I brought him. He prescribed me Clonazepam, which has been an absolute life-saver. I've been on it since 2007 and I never intend to stop taking it. If it weren't for the Klonopin I would have killed myself for sure. I'm also lucky that my presciber doesn't do something dumb on my prescription label like "Take one tablet twice a day for hallucinations" or anything else that could cause alarm for someone reading the label. He agreed to make it sound like an anxiety disorder instead (and as we're finding out, in some ways HPPD is an anxiety disorder). I also want to welcome you to the community. Although it's not as active here as it once was, I'm coming up with some ideas on how to change that. Whatever you do, please don't take any advice from the HPPD sub-Reddit: they give terrible advice, and don't know what they're talking about half the time.
  9. Yes, it's definitely possible. I had used a variety of psychedelics, probably over 50 times in total, before developing HPPD on a bad trip. I don't have time to go into my experience now as I'm in a bit of a rush, plus I'm not sure I understand the question, you mean my experience with HPPD in general? Some people develop HPPD after a single trip, some people never develop it, and some people develop it after already tripping without issue many times. It's like playing Russian Roulette.
  10. I don't know about the SPECT scans, I'll check it out, I want to address the antipsychotic part of your post. You said "or will force me to take anti psychotics", unless you're involuntarily commited or something, I can't see how anyone to force you to take them. For the record, yes, anti-psychotics will make your HPPD worse, not better, so unless you have a secondary condition that would warrant them, I'd fight back hard against taking them.
  11. Thanks for the advice, both of you. I'm going to start meditating daily. I'm assuming both of you practice Mindfulness meditation? At one point I was going to learn Transcendental meditation, but upon hearing how much the instructor wanted to charge me I hung up on her.
  12. Swartz

    Anxiety

    Out of curiosity, have you noticed visuals or anxiety getting worse on Lamotigrine? The only thing I've found for anxiety and HPPD that works is Clonazepam. I find 2mg is the minimum at which it starts working. Personally, I need 3mg. It's worth considering if you're willing to accept benzo addiction. It's not a decision to take lightly, but of all the medicines talked about for HPPD, it's really the only one with a proven track record.
  13. I'm starting to worry that all of this might scare you off from getting HPPD support here, particularly what I said. Please understand that we're just trying to help, even if you keep drinking please know that we are here to help, we don't have to discuss alcohol anymore if you don't want. This is an HPPD support forum, alcohol is definitely a tempting fix for it. I'll admit that although I'm a recovering alcohol I fucked up and drank tonight. Shit happens. Especially in today's times. I have a drug and alcohol counselor I see, and she's told me that most of her clients have relapsed. I doubt anyone is immune to stress right now.
  14. I've been meaning to experiment with meditation not just for HPPD symptoms, but for anxiety and depression as well. Does anyone here meditate and do you find it helpful? Part of me is wondering if it might actually temporarily aggravate HPPD symptoms when in a deep meditative state, who knows.
  15. Maybe I misunderstood you, but I just want to clarify that Keppra is not a benzo. Your regimen is actually pretty brilliant I think. I don't get floaters, but out of curiosity, you've found those specific eye drops you mentioned help with them? I had wanted to take Passionflower, but it interacts with something, I forget what (I'm not talking benzo interaction, I think it might have an SSRI interaction). I can't find any decent search results for it, I forget where I read it. Has anyone else noticed that Google Search has become useless? *Edit* I had a similar reaction to Valerian recently, though I used to have no issues with it. Some stomach issues, as well as it causing muscle twitching/tremor, which I thought was odd, since it's sometimes used to treat that.
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