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mgrade last won the day on August 8 2017

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  1. Be careful not all Benzos are as safe a Kpin. Don't get too wound up with the doctor's helpfulness right now. We have all been through the same exact circumstances. And in most cases, it is not going to get better, the quality of care from doctors. But there may be some merit with the two things you mentioned 'being guinea pigged' and HPPD.
  2. The organized hallucinations (geometric and so forth) seem better. I was getting amoeba-like, unstructured hallucinations (along with jagged walnut tree leaves/yellow jacket visual disturbances) that were horrendous. Nevertheless, 4 decades is a huge time to endure this. Keep up a positive attitude!!
  3. This thread has really bad grammar. LOL Everyone has their own story. How fragile life is; most people don't give a shit. God bless the people who do. And bless the people of integrity and loyalty.
  4. I don't say eat poorly, but in a way it sort of doesn't matter. Esp. if you burn it off and have good metabolism. I mean I wouldn't eat chinese for a month straight. or fast food. But eating well or not eating well, eventually you have to go off and follow your dreams. DXM and benadryl can potentially make you dp/dr....but got to get away from your troubles. .....Everyone wants to say you can't run from your troubles or you need to work on yourself first. That's bullshit. ...A lot of the problems are an issue because of the environment that surrounds you (and I don't mean like ecology or nature, necessarily at all). Follow your dreams. Don't give up. Surround yourself with people who care about you and your dreams. At some point it is time to live. Don't let this shit or your fickle mind or other people's bad attitudes get you. Get up, grab life by the balls and show them who you are! And what you are made of!!! A little squirt of Nasanex is not gonna be a game changer. ......Don't let this fkn whole deal make you into a guy who bags groceries 'til he's 60.
  5. Yeah. Diphenhydramine (benadryl) is an antihistamine, that has been used for many many years. The issue with HPPD is everything will seemingly make you trip more. Foods, OTC drugs, stress, etc.
  6. 4mg is 'a lot'. But unless you have COPD or take it with opiates, alcohol or barbiturates, Klonopin in particular is a super-safe drug! Snap-back anxiety is the issue! If you run out of a prescript, the withdrawal is terrrible!!! I think the OD facts are like this: you would have to take 4,000 mg (or 4 grams) of Klonopin to have a 1% chance of dying. That is 1000x of a 4mg dose. I do not suggest this btw. But the reality of the situation is it would probably cost $50,000-$100,000 in Klonopin to kill you.
  7. Benadryl is fine at normal doses. DXM is probably a disaster. Especially at higher doses.
  8. The reality of it is that there is not going to be enough care to introduce such technology on people who are like chattle. I think you can always really go your own way.
  9. Well. SSRIs will give you a headache. I believe I stayed on them for the whole time. But when I was really fucked-up, man, they would give some wild headaches and didn't help much at the deepest depths of HPPD. I can't even imagine Remeron which is a Tetracyclic (which is more similar to the Tricyclicals which were basically the first "antidepressants"). I have a fair grip on the medicine stuff. I have experienced them first hand too. You sound depersonalized. But the drugs that caused HPPD gave you derealization a bit. ---------- So you have to come up with a diagnosis. Because Dr. A, I heard, was Rx'ing bipolar meds, with good results, specifically for HPPD, it seemed. But I don't know. What I do know is if you go the route that I went, you would be better off on a low dose atypical antipsyche and a Benzo (not Xanax!). The type of atypical antipsyche depends on what you can tolerate the best. I would avoid Prozac. Eventually, (maybe after years or months), you can start adding a Lexapro and then a Wellbutrin XL when you start getting better. The issue with Lexapro is brain zaps. Makes it hard to get off them. A brain zap is like dp/dr. Zoloft is like the shitty version of Lexapro. ---------- Once the levee breaks in a good way, you will make headway. You will know. And you can consider those last 2 drugs when you get there. Get off the initial antipsyche and end it with about 3 months of Seroquel and you should be back 60-75% or so. Then discontinue Seroquel remain on low dose Escit. & Buprop. XL & Klonopin (or Ativan). But everyone is different. Some people are just seeing shit and other people feel like they've lost their marbles. Certainly when I was at the brink it was like I wanted a communion wafer sized ativan. But all these antipsyches and benzos are going to make you feel 'dirty' to a certain extent. I mean dirty as in dull dull dull and achey and creepy crawly. You have to remember these 2 classes are tranquilizers. --------- Make sure everything is at low doses. Example: Chips of Klonopin, ~50mg Seroquel, 5 to 10mg of Lexapro, 150 of Buprop. XL. etc. That sort of thing. If you have any questions, just ask. Please Always consult the psychiatrist/doctors!!!!
  10. All of the above. Worse? I don't know about worse. But if you have this mysterious 'HPPD', it is fairly close to schizophrenia, in my own opinion. I can't speak for others' opinions. I don't mean to stir up fear. But I'm gonna call a spade a spade.
  11. Preferably in handfuls. Joking. WARNING: DO NOT TAKE IT LIKE THAT!!!! Take it in small chips, to take the edge off. If you have 0.5mg pills literally bite off a chip of it. You don't want it to sedate you throughout the day though. And I know people with HPPD are sensitive to all drugs for the most part. Leave the rest for before sleep. Or if you don't need it for sleep, literally take it when needed. Note: the odd thing with Clonazepam (which is not the case for Lorazepam and Diazepam) is that it takes like an hour to kick in. So you can see the deal with that: you have some weird visuals, you take the Klonopin, you have to wait an hour and perhaps the Klonopin doesn't even tame the visuals. That being said Klonopin is a pretty damn safe drug (if not mixed with other things).
  12. Here. Take a look at what they did/do there:
  13. That's the story.
  14. A person I have known for close to 30 years is a Colonel in the United States Chemical Corps, stationed at the Aberdeen Proving Ground in Aberdeen, Maryland. The Aberdeen Proving Ground is a military installation where weapons or other military technology are experimented with or are tested, or where military tactics are tested. The APG is the site of the Edgewood Arsenal human experiments. While these types of facilities are usually military or government establishments, some civilian industries have their own proving grounds for testing prototypes and new technologies. This guy contacted me out of the blue via Facebook, with a cryptic message. Upon questioning him, he failed to answer back. His name is Jason Constable.