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mgrade

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mgrade last won the day on December 21 2019

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About mgrade

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  1. I've been a supporter of this site for 10 years. I'm virtually disabled at this point. *******Please check out my E-book under my pen-name: Perception, Definition and Confusion: Vol. 1 v v v v v v v https://www.amazon.com/Perception-Definition-Confusion-Vol-1-ebook/dp/B087D58Q6Q/ref=sr_1_3?dchild=1&keywords=sh+roth&qid=1587771375&sr=8-3
  2. Not really the right place to do this but I talk a lot about psychiatric disorders and I think, after all the stuff I've been through: Check out this book: https://www.amazon.com/Perception-Definition-Confusion-Vol-1-ebook/dp/B087D58Q6Q/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=sh+roth&qid=1588043673&sr=8-1
  3. Quiet. I am choosing Assisted Suicide in a foreign country. Sorry
  4. There is a stigma to suicide. This stigma is totally unfounded. And the answers are all the same. The resources aren't around, and if they are, they are wholly ineffective. In my country, a hospital won't help you unless it is deemed 'emergency medicine'. And since the advent of anti psyches ('50s), there has been a steady decline of psyche facilities: until in the 1990's, when virtually all psychiatric facilities were closed. But these facilities were the setting for gruesome practices, and for all intents and purposes included ice picks and car batteries. Furthermore, the
  5. My quality of life is very poor. Why is it so difficult to find a pill that will kill me and be without pain? Where are the barbiturates??
  6. I'm about to have another psychotic break. I can't handle this shit anymore.
  7. Hmm. So apparently it has the half life of a vitamin and has only 1% bioavailability. But I guess knowing all that it appears at least safe, I guess. Some say it can reset circadian rhythms. Others say it's kind of a garbage drug (maybe along the lines of buspirone). Tell us what you think of it. I think they said it was aromatic with some lighter fluid thrown on it. Loll
  8. This has been something I have always heard about and actually experienced. A good friend of mine told me when I was young that if you took mushrooms and fell asleep (or suppose passed out) that "it would really fk you up". Those were his words. He meant it and he had seen cases of this. I had experienced this later accidentally (luckily on a low dose). But that is sort of an issue unto itself that sort of sub-clinical doses of psilocybin/mushrooms have a strange effect that sort of can put you in a longer term purgatory of sorts. This is less of the case with LSD. What they call micro
  9. Ketomine is a dissociative drug. Pcp is a nmda antagonist as well. I think what is going on in terms of me is this: you start with a fairly sensitive nervous system, you take an "over-quota" for your particular lifetime of certain chemicals, or one or two significant "ODs", ultimately (for me) the pleasure centers of the nervous system are altered, in other words this: the feeling of euphoria, wellbeing, elation, calm-happiness, anxiety-free ability to focus, the soothing assured opposite feelings to anxiety and panic and depression: all these things are absent from the psychedelic and
  10. No, Jay. I was put in a situation where my meds needed upward adjustment. My meds have not changed in 5 years with the exception of klonopin from 3 to 2 to 3 to 2. This is a verrrry complicated, bizarre situation here. With my father a doctor for 50 years, DAs, pdoc, pharmacies, state health, ritual abuse etc. Ive been on these meds for about 20-25 years. __________________ Im not getting off the meds in the slightest. I actually need to up the meds.
  11. My days are pretty numbered. There are several places in Europe where I can have a psychiatric euthanasia. The symptoms are intense both physical and psychiatric. Despite all of what i can do, I am going through nonstop brain zaps from not being on enough SSRIs, my back wont go out of spasm, i cant concentrate, my memory capacity is extremely poor, i cant remember numbers past 3 digits for longer that 20 seconds. I have little to no contact with my family. They want nothing to do with me. Im surrounded suddenly by an evil evil community. One i would avoid like the
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