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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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About TylerKThomas

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  1. TylerKThomas


    Thanks, but it really is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through in my life. It's more of a goal to be able to cope than a reality though.
  2. TylerKThomas


    The number one symptom that bothers me the most is the floaters and particularly the very distinct and frequent dark one I see I my right eye, nearly once every moment. Other than that they all bother me and grieve me because I'm always aware they're there because something is wrong. The feelings I have associated with them; the natural, immediate, intense feelings of fear, anxiety, grief, unhealthiness, etc. are a kind of "negative" sort of symptoms, as we could call it, the so called "positive" symptoms being the actual visual disturbances and the "negative" ones being the emotional response to them; the feelings they cause us, often being detrimental to our functioning. Schizophrenia has a vast array of strange and dysfunctional symptoms usually. They are typically classed in two ways: positive and negative. Positive not meaning good but rather referring to the mental group of symptoms, and negative referring to the emotional ones, the way it affects how someone feels. There is a classification type called first rank symptoms which are: 1) feeling as though you are being controlled by an external force, 2) believing that thoughts are being put into or taken from your conscious mind, 3) believing that other people know your thoughts telepathically and without your own discretion, 4) and finally auditory hallucinations of internal voices that talk about what you're thinking and doing or have conversations with each other. These are some of the more psychotic symptoms you would experience which can be reduced with antipsychotics and staying active. They kind of naturally occur and can be very very very overwhelming sometimes without the ability for reality testing being present. Specifically the positive symptoms are things such as persecutory delusions(paranoia), general delusions, religiosity, disordered and disorganized speech and thoughts, hallucinations in all five modes of sense; hearing things that aren't real, seeing things, tasting things, smelling things and feeling things that all aren't real. There is a constant delusional theme that the person is always mindful of which develops as continued psychosis goes untreated and which occurs very naturally and seemingly realalistically. All of these symptoms respond fairly well at times to an antipsychotic medication, of which I would say Invega Sustenna is the best on the market and has lesser side effects than some others do, although they almost all cause movement disorders. The negative symptoms are deficits of certain thought processes and normal emotional responses. There is a lack of the natural and comfortable emotional reactions, decreased speech, A lack of pleasure, less desire to socialize and have relationships with people, and a lack of motivation. These symptoms are rather unaffected by antipsychotic medication and need to be treated with some other medicine or they can seriously affect the person and their life in a negative way. Those are the great bulk of the symptoms, although they often increase the lack of self control, self will, self respect; fostering insecurity and self consciousness. They often foster a naturally obsessive compulsive set of coping mechanisms as well. They also increase a persons addictive response to nicotine. Taking psychoactive substances such as marijuana, cocaine, meth, etc. induce a state of temporary psychosis that usually lasts until they go to sleep, at least for me they do this. Great social anxiety and discomfort around people is fostered by all this as well; a huge amount of social dysfunction. Often a schizophrenic person will have very strange behavior patterns and habbits as well, especially if they remain in a psychosis and do not get involved in their own treatment. Possible catatonia can arise from a prolonged psychosis if untreated. There is a great sense of fear and the lack of safety a schizophrenic person feels frequently. I personally experience an inability to answer questions alot of the time and an element of unpredictability in the way I may be affected by my illness on any given day. There is a sense in which any kind or degree of actual stress is very intensified and exaggerated because of the schizophrenia. The HPPD and the schizophrenia play on each other quite a bit. The visual disturbances will seem as if they're in response to my thoughts in a paranoid sense, etc.. Often I see starbursts the same time I have a delusional thought and the two seem to be connected in appearance. When I experience a temporary psychosis because of one of my medicines the HPPD symptoms increase quite a bit and have a persecutory visual hallucinatory quality to them. The HPPD symptoms also trigger alot of the negative symptoms of the schizophrenia.
  3. TylerKThomas


    I should clarify what I ment by these statements. Schizoaffective disorder is full blown schizophrenia; every criteria to be met for schizophrenia has to be met for it also, only it is also even worse because there are symptoms of mania and depression that occur at the same time. It would seem to me that I experience these additional symptoms and also meet the other additional criteria for this re-diagnosis. Oddly enough though the only antipsychotic that can be legally prescribed for it is the one I'm on and it is just usually supplemented with a mood stabilizer, antidepressant, etc., and I am current prescribed a rare antidepressant that also treats the "negative" symptoms of my schizophrenia fairly well; it helps, at least. Unfortunately the other medicines usually prescribed in a case of schizoaffective disorder have frequent and severe side-effects. So I am thinking about reducing the amount of the antidepressant I take to prevent drug induced psychosises and adding a benzodiazepine as a PRN, and hopefully being able to eventually reduce the amount of Invega I take to lessen the severity and lasting effect of a movement disorder it causes and which I already am experiencing symptoms of. I might also start taking some vitamins and minerals and increase the amount of exercise that I do. I want to be fully and accurately diagnosed with any and all actual disorders that I have so that I won't have problems with recieving governmental assistance and with my insurance approving all of the expensive and strange medications I need to manage them. The Invega I take is in a shot form and costs $1,300 for one dose and I need these medications to be able to moderately function and not wind up becoming catatonic. Hopefully I'll be able to start working again and go to school like I want to.
  4. TylerKThomas


    Ok, thank you for the tip. I looked it up and read briefly on it. It would appear that an increased sensitivity to the phenomena could be what I experience. I only see it when I look into the cloudless sunlit sky.
  5. TylerKThomas


    According to the classification and diagnosis manuals and everything I at least have schizophrenia if not schizoaffective disorder. I was probably predisposd to it because of genetical and environmental factors and the gradual shroom overdose just triggered the onset. I'm certain I at least have schizophrenia if not schizoaffective disorder and HPPD when I self diagnose according to the standards for diagnosis. I have had at least 3 or 4 psychiatrists diagnose me with schizophrenia though. it's only really been recently that I've actually been reading up on my symptoms and medications. It is possible to have a comorbid case of a schizo disorder with actual HPPD though it's just probably pretty rare and so not easy to properly and adequately diagnose without enough information and adherence to the standards. Experiencing an onset of schizophrenia because of mushrooms seems to be fairly rare also in itself and must have been maybe going to happen anyway. I have at least one distant relative who was full blown schizophrenic and I experienced alot of traumatic experiences during the eighteen years before the onset began. I also had prenatal predisposition to it. But no I meet all of the criteria for schizophrenia in the manuals and possibly am even further infirmed with a case of schizoaffective disorder, as I said, according again to the criteria in the manuals. Without the antipsychotic called Invega here in the States I would go into and remain in a psychosis and would have no reality testing. That's the way I was for the first two years and for awhile about a year later. I was literally and clinically psychotic for years after the shroom overdose. But I can vividly remember experiencing HPPD symptoms throughout it all and can actually remember the night it's onset may have began. These symptoms are distinct from the symptoms of the schizo disorder I have whichever it is. I only seek more answers because the treatment I have received so far has not been satisfactory and will need to be adjusted and added upon for better management and function ability. Thank you though for your concern, Tyler
  6. TylerKThomas


    Well like I said, I haven't managed it at all, merely survived really. It has caused great disorder nearly if not everyday for those five years especially since I have been trying to manage and treat my illnesses. But I am fortunate in many ways and I strive to be as contented as I can, also trying to be as progressive and productive as I can. I'm doing much better recently then I had been for the first four or so years of this. It does seem pretty clear to me that I have the disorder and I would like a diagnosis to be added to my medical records in case I need it. Anyway, thanks for your feedback!
  7. TylerKThomas


    Will someone please respond with some feedback, I'm kind of anxious to discuss these things further with people who have been diagnosed or are certain they have the disorder. Thanks in advance.
  8. TylerKThomas

    Has HPPD changed the way you dream?

    This post has been promoted to an article
  9. TylerKThomas

    just as u think ur winning

    This definitely is off topic, but could some of you respond the thread I made entitled, "greetings". I have a great need for some clarity and personal insight if, as I am fairly certain, I have HPPD.
  10. TylerKThomas


    This is a repost from the main forum: Hello everybody, My name is Tyler and I think I may have a case of undiagnosed HPPD. Not too long over five years ago I tripped quite a bit on psylocibin mushrooms. I probably ate about two to three ounces in about a one to two month period of time. These were extremely potent shrooms, completely covered in a thick layer of white spores; very high grade. Ever since then I have had visual and perceptual disturbances that lead me to believe I may have HPPD. Currently I see a great deal of floaters with large noticeableness and frequency. I have what I guess you call starbursts or specks both negative and positive that appear in my vision. Sometimes the positive specks will swirl around for a second with somewhat of a trailer. The floaters are also both positive and negative; clear and dark. I have one dark floater that I see in my right eye nearly every moment. I have peripheral hallucinations and after images as well. I use to have alot of perceived "breathing" of a stationary surface when I would stare at it for more than a few seconds and I also use to see halos and auras around people's heads, etc. These latter two symptoms have seems to decreased as time has progressed though. I sometimes see things as appearing out of nowhere when they were there before. I also see alot of halos and streaks around lights at night. When I look into the sky on a sunny day a see lots of certain disturbances that look like sperm swimming around in seminal fluid only it's in the light of the sun. I have alot of natural immediate feelings of both anxiety and grief when I see these things and they disrupt my thought processes and confuse me often stopping me in the middle of sentence. I also have closed eye visuals at times and a kind of perceived strobing throbbing light in my eyes. And so those are the bulk of my symptoms. They do disable me somewhat in my ability to function and my normal vision has gotten worse during this as well; I have become mildly nearsighted. If I do have HPPD it is comorbid or cooccuring with scitzophrenia, which I also developed in part because of the mushrooms. I have been diagnosed with that and am currently recieving treatment for it. I could write another long paragraph detailing the intense, severe and frequent symptoms I experience from that. I am currently recieving social security disability checks, food stamps and Medicaid from the American governement because of these things, their impairment of my abilities and quality of life, and the poverty it fosters. I have only been able to work two times in the over five years this has gone on, and no more than three months at a time. I could go on, but I would like to hear your thoughts on whether or not I may have HPPD and anything else you would like to share with me in light of these things. I greet all of you and wish good things for you all and your families. Tyler
  11. TylerKThomas

    not impressed with my doctor

    The best advice I could give you at this point is to just explain as well as you can what's going on and how much it affects you to the doc and tell them you think that a benzodizepine might help with it and would like to try one. Just explain what's up and I imagine they would be compelled to prescribe you something, maybe at a lower dose to start with. Just make sure you're talking to a psychiatrist. Good luck, and try not to abuse anything they give you because that wi ll only hurt you in the end.
  12. TylerKThomas

    not impressed with my doctor

    You just have to find the right doctor. I had a crappy doctor once that wouldn't prescribe me any bentos one time when I wanted them and so I went to a whole different clinic and have had great fortune with my current doctor. Xanax is probably called by a different name in the UK. Most drugs have different names in Europe than the do in the States.
  13. TylerKThomas

    Graduated College

    That's great sir. Very encouraging to me, because I would love to go to school again.
  14. TylerKThomas

    Has HPPD changed the way you dream?

    This post has been promoted to an article

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