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About Passion

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  1. I still wonder the same thing years later ^ So please let me know how I can read the original post I posted.
  2. What does it mean that a post has been promoted to an article? How can I read my old post? o:
  3. Stimulatingdistraction, damn. I am so sorry for such a late answer. Just saw your message. :c Such a slowpoke I am. I don't hang here so often anymore because I try to keep myself away from everything hppd/dpdr related. I come back rarely in periods just to feel that I am not alone. Today is one of those days. Hahah. The thing about the memories.. They feel kind of foggy and distant to me. I mean memories from before the "bad trip". At this point in my life, almost a year after my trip, I don't remember how my life was before. :c I don't remember how it feels and how "normal" people see li
  4. Chris, thank you for your answers. c: Damn, it seems like I need to go to the doctors if I want to try out medicine that actually may work for me. :/ I'll maybe do it in the future. And btw, question number 2 is so serious it can get, actually. You can't walk around fearing life all the time. I am ready to take risks sometimes. Risks worthy taking. Breast augmentation is something I really want and have wanted for 3-4 years. I simply have a passion for big boobs. It might sound strange to you, so you are free to think of it as you want. You have your own opinion. c: Jay, oh, okay. Then I nee
  5. Hello there! My name is Natalie. <: This will probobly be a long post. Simply me writing down my feelings and stuff. Just felt like I needed to warn you guys. <: I apologize for my english. Here it goes: I rarely visit anything hppd and depersonalization/derealization related nowadays. I stopped when I discovered that overly attachement to this kind of forums made me more depressed. It was like a reminder of my problem. Always hanging there. I just wanted to forget about everything. And now it's almost a year since that terrible trip on cannabis. It doesn't feel as a whole year
  6. I meant.. That you overanalyze the taste. And that is is weird.. To eat. Strange. If you concentrate in "tasting"..
  7. I hate the feeling of being so deattached.. Do you experience some strange things when you eat or feel things?
  8. I think that my HPPD got worse too.. now when I think about it. It probably did. :c But the feelings of DPDR are brootal.. much more worse than before. :c Now I have the thought: - What if I am in coma and this is a dream? :c But I know that it's not true. But the feelings are horrible.. When I speak I sometimes.. very often.. think about what I am saying.. and realize how strange everything is. That the voice comes out of itself. :c Can't really explain. Gah.. :c So scared.
  9. I am okay with my visuals.. They are something that I can live witj. It's the feeling of being high all the time.. Being apart from the real world that is scary. I hope it will get better as the last time. I hope that I will feel normal again. Relaxed and normal. Already bought all the vitamins that helped me last time. I hope I will make it.
  10. I can still make myself see everything in.. stopmotion kind of way. I feel that when I look at.. for example my hand. I don't look straight at it, I look THROUGH it. I mean.. I see my hand.. I can't see through it like.. it is transparent or something.. I just.. focus.. farther away and look deeper. :c Everything seems strange. And when I speak.. the words aren't.. synced to me. They come out and everything is just.. weird. :C Not real. When I eat.. sometimes everything feels like when I tripped.. The feeling doesn't.. belong to me. It is.. Like.. When you breath in.. nitrous oxide or lau
  11. This post has been promoted to an article
  12. I hate myself. I cry. I am so DPDR:ed as hell. Scared. I don't want to get a panicattack and I don't want to have a psychosis.. I hate it.
  13. Now I also know that it was Hash that started everything. Pure hash.
  14. Fuck. Lucky me my ass. The trip-feelings are still there. Fuck. I hope I don't have a psychosis. I beg to God that everything will be well.
  15. But it's the second time I make the same mistake. Well.. A positive thing.. Now I know that hasch won't cure my hppd if I try it again. (Not that I have thought that).. Pfft. So stupid. Want to hit myself in the face with a chair. Can only say that I know that I'm much stronger now. I can manage the hell. Everything will be fine again some day. But it seems like I will not be leaving this page as soon as I hoped. So stupid.
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