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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

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  1. 3 points
    Guys, let's calm it down a bit... @TheMythos let's see less swearing and personal attacks. I haven't had a chance to keep up with this article, but it is clearly marked as "a bit of an idea"... It's not claiming to be a science paper. Let's all try and pull in the right direction. If something doesn't ring true, politely put across your counter point or just leave it alone, unless you think it is damaging to the people who might try it.
  2. 2 points
    The Visual Snow Syndrome study carried out by Dr Goadsby is close to starting a treatment phase of research . Yesterday Jen Ambrose posted an update ongofundme : https://www.gofundme.com/visual-snow '' Hello Eye on Vision Supporters!I'm sorry that there was such a long delay in hearing from me, but I sustained an eye injury in Feb and am only recently returning to limited computer use. I do have an update from London to share with you. Patients have begun to be qualified and scheduled for testing. Scans are scheduled for May and June at King's College. This is an important phase of research, because what is learned from these scans will determine how we enter into a treatment phase of research. Without this phase of research, we will not be able to proceed to medication testing. With that being said, I've been approached about funding for Dr. Puledda's salary for another year. Dr. Puledda works under Prof. Goadsby and is the primary doctor assigned to the Visual Snow research at King's college. As stated in previous updates we need approximately $70,000 USD per year to employ her. Currently we have only raised $20,000 USD which is a far off sum from what is actually needed to secure her. Almost all of you reading this who have VS have likely undergone an MRI. You have likely seen the very high bill to your insurance, or you have paid out of pocket. It's not uncommon to see bills over $1000. We are very fortunate that King's College covers all of these costs towards VS research. We need to assist them though by being able to pay Dr. Puledda for her time and efforts on our behalf. We would love for you to become a monthly donor and help us achieve our research funding goals. You can sign-up as a monthly donor here:http://eyeonvision.org/donate-to-the-eye-on-vision-foundation.htmlThank you, Jen Ambrose Please everyone make donations!! I know you guys got visual snow syndrome from drugs ( just as the forum info section itself says : drug induced visual snow syndrome ) but the symptoms are the same . A cure could be on the horizon if we start making donations!!! I've posted links about few other rare diseases that have found cures( or are close to finding one) purely by making large donations and not giving up . This is what patient determination and donations can do : https://www.hippocraticpost.com/innovation/gene-therapy-nervous-system-disorders/ https://www.technologyreview.com/s/603832/determined-parents-are-moving-the-needle-on-gene-therapy/ there are some other articles I came across a while back but I don't have the time to search for all of them again . However I hope that the above articles will inspire you to make donations for the visual snow syndrome research. It's the only option we all have left now !!!
  3. 2 points
    I want to preface that my symptoms are/were severe. Ranging from mild annoyances like visual snow, palinopsia, tinnitus, headaches, muscle twitching to severe problems like sicca dryness, mental disorientation, fatigue, chronic muscle tightness causing sharp pains, GI dysmotility and intestinal pseudo-obstruction. I basically developed a brutal form of HPPD. After some recent GI-related problems, I was tested thoroughly by a doctor looking for answers. By stroke of luck, I tested positive for something that explains very well a large portion of my symptoms. I have positive antibodies for Ganglionic ACHr (acetylcholine) alpha-3 receptor. Here's a paper with more detail: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3764484/ I'm not really sure how many others here would test positive for the same receptor. It has been studied, and while very rare, does not accurately describe and represent HPPD-type symptoms of visual distortion (although I believe mood related problems are connected). But, what I realized for the first time is that it's not just a problem of receptors not functioning properly, but also my immune system is actively involved in the process of disrupting my neural communication. Antibodies connect to the receptor and therefore block my ACHr from working properly. So, any discussion of my receptor malfunctioning is somewhat moot. The receptor is targeted by immune system to block its function. Fuck you immune system. Don't know what this means yet, but while I'm still working to make connections to all sides, it does explain why Prednisone (immunosuppresive therapy) has been effective for me in the past. EDIT: Don't know why I forgot, but the auto-antibody for acetylcholine actually DOES have implications on the visual system. As shown in the paper, people with this antibody has impaired reflexive pupils causing photophobia. Bingo.
  4. 2 points
    I thought i'd start a topic where we can all contribute ways we have made our lives a little better (non medicinal). Get healthy and sober This is the obvious one... quitting drugs, stimulants like coffee, smoking etc.... Then eating healthily and working out really do help alot. Forget the past It is easy to get caught up in a spiral of guilt, anger and jealousy about your current situation. Why did I do drugs? Why did I get hppd? Why are my friends ok? Like all the mistakes and regrets in life... learn from it and move on (not easy, I know). These emotions will just feed the anxiety and hppd. Change your life hppd is at it's worst when we are stressed. It is impossible to avoid all stress, but do what you can to change your lifestyle for the better. If you hate your job, try and change it.... If you hate the city, move out. If your friends don't seem to support you, move on (the real friends will let you back in, when you're ready). These are big, life changing decisions... but hppd doesn't have to stop you making them. Grab your life back hppd can strip you of your ability to do the simplest tasks in life. Retrain yourself to do these tasks. If making eye contact is tripping you out, just slowly do it a little more each day... The more you do it, the more normal it will become. Same goes for all sorts of things... making small talk, going out and about, chatting to someone you are hot for. Your life isn't over This is a key thing to remember. The 1st months and years can be very, very tough... But life goes on. There are numerous people on here that have gone on to have successful educations, careers, relationships and families. hppd is not the end of your life, your dreams or your happiness.
  5. 2 points
    When I was a mere thirteen years old and 1 year into full blown HPPD, two ex drug users came and gave a lecture at school and showed a film of what can go wrong with hitting up intrevenously. It was rather graphic, showing users whose veins came stringing out of their arm and infected ulcers. It scared me terribly, though I was never a drug needle user. I had already scared myself away from drugs because of HPPD that basically ruined my life as far as I was concerned then. But the fear element was a powerful teacher too late for me. At the age of 12 in 1969, drugs, especially psychedelics were glorified in the Rock music world. Teachers, parents, law enforcement all warned us of the dangers of using LSD especially. This was when little was yet known about long term harmful effects. We were warned but encouraged through a youthful rebellious culture. Had there been the long term experiences we now know of, perhaps some of us would have heeded the warning. The warning label should read, if you take this drug there is a real chance you will stay high for the rest of your life! And so...I would like to see such a warning for the younger generation now. When I go back in time and think of my responses back then when I was warned, I thought that there is always a remedy, always a fix. But this is not always true. This is the reality warning that folks need to hear before they consider using psychedelics. It seems that these mind altering drugs open pathways that may never close again. It is like a lost innocence. I think the most important thing I can do is to warn others not to take drugs, especially psychedelics. Can you recover with strict diet and lifestyle? Perhaps so, after time and much effort. But perhaps not. All this being said, I think it would be very worthy to find ways to warn others. Perhaps to go into schools or even make ads online via social media. Were we tricked by the offer of cheap thrills so drug pushers could make money? Were we encouraged by musicians who made us feel we belonged to something new happening? There are many very serious questions. Why we follow harmful trends. Why we gample our one and only life for a few hours of pleasure. I don't think I can answer without taking serious responsibility. Back in the day I introduced others to drugs too. I'm sorry. It was foolish. Many in my high school have suffered terrible fates due to drug use, including suicide. If you are using psychedelics...., I would like to scare you with reality. There is a huge risk and some of us were so very young to take such stupid risks! I'm wanting to speak out and speak plainly. Maybe some young soul will be forewarned enough to never experiment. Experiment? Our youth became the world's guinea pigs? Love and peace to all. Any ideas in how to warn our youth?
  6. 2 points
    You don't sound "dumb" at all. You have a real concern and you're seeking information. I wish I had done that when I first had symptoms. Unfortunately, at that time, there was no Internet. MJ is really powerful these days. I have a few friends who have never dosed who claim weed produces visual and auditory hallucinations. You may be experiencing the same thing. You dosed recently and the brain can hang onto those "memories" for a while. Consuming weed might be triggering what was "learned" during those experiences. My advice would be to stay away from hallucinogenic substances including weed at least for a while. It can't hurt, right? I'm no expert on hppd and I'm not a medical professional. That being said, if you do have early hppd symptoms, you don't want to ignore them. In my opinion (an uneducated one) it doesn't sound like you have hppd but don't take chances by continuing to use hallucinogens. Hppd can be debilitating condition so give yourself a break to see where you stand. Regarding your prescription, I'm not suggesting you discontinue medication prescribed by a doctor. I hope that helps. Take care of yourself.
  7. 2 points
    Hi Guys, i just woke up and started thinking about this forum. Since my relapse/worsening in november 2017 i didn’t visit this forum a lot anymore because it isn’t very good for my mental health. I’m trying to focus as less as possible on the HPPD. But this morning i thought that i at least could give an update about how i’m doing now, since some members have helped me a lot. Well, compared to november 2017 (see posts above) i’m doing a lot better. On the other side i still have a long way to go because my symptoms are still quite severe (but have lessened a bit) and are hard to deal with from day to day. My HPPD is a disability right now because i can’t do the same stuff as “healthy” people are doing. Lets start with my symptoms right now: - pretty bad visual snow, in daytime not very noticable but in dark situations it’s pretty heavy. It’s like there is a layer of VS before my normal vision. I can handle it but it’s sometimes hard to deal with. - trails when looking at fast movements (like waving hands, a phone screen waving before my eyes gives a light trail, etc.). Also pretty long afterimages when i look directly into a light source (like more than a minute or so). Sometimes in notice a bit of floaters but it isn’t that bad. These symptoms have improved a bit and i’ve gotten used to it so it isn’t a very big deal anymore. - sometimes my entire vision looks “too bright”. Don’t know if that’s DR but when that happens i feel a bit disconnected. This symptom is very hard to deal with. Luckily this doesn’t happen very often because i would go crazy if this was permanent. - head pressures and brain zaps. Are often not noticeable anymore but when i have a busy day or week these come back. - some brain fog / cognitive issues / fatigue. Especially my memory is not very good. It has improved so i’m hoping it will slowly get better. - quite severe anxiety, but on the other side i’m able to deal with the anxiety a lot better due to my coaching and the meds i’m on right now. I think that’s about it. Due to all these symptomps, it’s a disability and i can’t do a fulltime job now because my symptoms get worse when i have a too busy day or week. When that happens they get better in de next couple of days but it’s really looking for a good balance in work / socialising / rest. I think i also have found the best treatment possible in the Netherlands. - i visit a psychologist once every 2 weeks to help me deal with the HPPD and slowly building up my life again. I now can work 2 mornings a week and deliver good quality work. This feels good and i’m hoping i will be able to work more in the future. - in the same clinic as the psychologist, there is a psychiatrist who prescribes me meds to help deal with the HPPD and anxiety. This psychiatrist is advised by HPPD specialist dr. Alderliefste. Meds i’m on right now: 2x Clonidine a day, 3x Clonazepam (Klonopin) a day. I’m tapering the Klonopin very slowly (over a lot of months), because it’s helping me pretty good but i can’t stay on this med for the rest of my life. - sometimes i have direct contact with HPPD specialist dr. Alderliefste. He’s helping me very good (the best way possible), mostly he advises me what to do. - now the most interesting part: like the most of you guys, i had an MRI scan from my brain to check if there is no other cause for the symptoms. As expected, the result from the MRI scan was good and there were no abnormality’s. With this result i am sent to a hospital connected to a university, where neurologists are researching and studying visual snow / HPPD. Dr. Alderliefste also helps and supports this research. When everything goes to plan, i will see a neurologist there (with knowledge of VS / HPPD). He will medicly examinate me and hopefully can give advise on optimising my treatment. Also there is a possibility for me to help the research / study as a patient. So i’m very curious about how this will work out, and if the doctors understand whats happening in my / our brains. I definitely will keep you guys updated if there is any interresting information to share. Well, that was quite a story to write. Overall i’m doing / dealing a lot better, but there is a long way to go. Hope you guys are also doing OK! Looking forward to the responses.
  8. 2 points
    Good to hear. We're all probably going to get sick or deal with an illness at some point in our lives (the whole Buddhist aging, sickness, and dying thing)...better to have faced that stuff now to know our strength. I believe you will continue to heal until you no longer think about this disorder and it becomes a footnote in your life.
  9. 2 points
    I got HPPD three years ago now. I've made many posts here during that span and have tried to make a post every year around my anniversary. I'm a little late on this one but I actually take that as a good sign. It means I'm not as obsessed with my condition and therefore am getting better. I guess I've already said everything I need to in other posts. I can't really summarize everything that's happened to me over the last three years without writing a book. There's just so much that's happened ever since getting HPPD. I've had all kinds of additional health problems since and am currently in the process of dealing with another health issue that's really taken a great toll on my life. It's just crazy looking back now after three years. I'm not even the same person. I've learned so much about myself, my family, my health history, the world, life, everything. It's crazy to say but this whole experience has absolutely made me a more complete person. I really think my brain had faulty wiring from an early age and that, as painful as this experience has been (I wouldn't wish it on anybody in the history of the world), it was necessary for me to finally face my past and overcome demons that had haunted me silently since the day I was born. I still have many visual problems but they're very manageable now and don't really interfere with my daily routine, which is absolutely remarkable to say -- just absolutely astonishing considering how bad my HPPD and DP were even a few years ago. I truly had a terrible case of HPPD. My brain just totally crapped out. The amount of pain I've had to deal with every day for the last three years is nothing short of inhumane and mind blowing, to be quite honest. So the fact I'm able to cope with HPPD after all this is truly astonishing. It just goes to show that this condition is something you can heal from, although it takes more work than you could have ever imagined. If you want to get better you have to eat real food, exercise every day, do as many healthy habits as you can fit into your day, and most importantly you have to never give in or never give up. If I had a dollar for every time I thought of killing myself over the last three years I'd be a very wealthy man. But I never did. And look where I'm at now. I'm so happy to be alive and I feel like I'm seeing the world through a totally different set of eyes and a brain that very few people on this planet would understand. Life is so beautiful, and it's only that way because of what I've been through. Anyway, I imagine I've got another two or three years before I can say I'm totally healed, and I honestly may never be quite 100 percent again, but I'm OK with that. I'm just so grateful to even be alive at this point, I'll take anything I can get. If anybody has questions I can try and answer below. I think I have a pretty good idea of what HPPD is and how to cope and heal, but of course I'm no doctor and neither is anybody here. But I do think it's important to keep this community alive and pass on knowledge so others may benefit. As long as you stay away from drugs, eat healthy, exercise, remain mindful day in and day out, I think you'll give yourself a great shot at recovery.
  10. 2 points
    People that have never had to deal with mental problems or brain issues in their life will usually be dismissive because they've never experienced it. "You don't have anything to be sad about" is classic mental health ignorance. You should try to go out and hangout with your friends whenever you get the opportunity though.
  11. 2 points
    First - stop smoking weed. It isn't helping. Second - it would be beneficial for you to stop researching this and focus on overall health, mental and physical. I know you want it to go away. We all do. A bunch of us researching this on the internet trying to put the pieces of a puzzle together isn't going to bring any answers until some serious funding and medical research takes place. 2 guys in a lab doesn't mean shit until other researchers get on board and do multiple randomized double-blind peer-reviewed studies with sufferers and non-sufferers participating. Third - figure out what supplements may help and try them, along with exercise, healthy diet, meditation, yoga, tai chi and distraction. Try to socialize and do fun stuff even if you don't feel like it. Force yourself into the world. The best thing anyone suffering from HPPD can do is try to get their stress and anxiety down. Most symptoms should start to go with time as long as you live healthy and stay away from drugs. I know it's hard being sober but you don't really have a choice anymore unless you want this to get worse over time.
  12. 2 points
    You've been posting this for weeks now. Why not just post it when you post it.....
  13. 2 points
    I've seen some threads on this forum decompose into insults and shouting matches. We all have opinions, perspectives, experiences, and information we've obtained from various sources. If someone posts something you don't agree with, pisses you off, or seems like misinformation, please reply in a constructive and courteous manner. Before you post, think about what you might say if you were talking to the person face to face, and don't forget to be kind. We're all struggling with a difficult disorder. Remember, we all have the goal of being well. Let's help each other get there. Thank you.
  14. 2 points
    Success story After 4 years; my hppd is finally gone for real this time. Will post more on this later
  15. 2 points
    Danjoking, you're right. I apologize for my behavior. The above response by mane isn't worthy of a response. He's clearly on a tear. I pray for his, mine, and all of our healing. Good night. Hope you guys get over this illness in due time.
  16. 2 points
    My acceptance that this condition is not the end of the world.
  17. 2 points
    There's no question, it does get better. Never underestimate your ability to heal and to adapt. Life is weird, all we can do is the best we can do.
  18. 2 points
    Hi! Welcome here edguy. Sorry for hear that. In my experience, since I've been sober for one year now. (I tried to smoke ago one year, and I relapsed so bad), all my symptoms are really better, to the point I can't notice them. I hate the fact I've forgotten how I used to ''see'', but I love to get fun and be happy again, since I've accepted my new ''reality". Give it time, and stay away from drugs! I'm 99 % better, I promise I'm not liying. Only tracers. No dp/dr or anxiety anymore! Cheers & bless. Give it time to see how things can going withouth any meds and withoung put more chemicals on your brain First, try to let the body recover on its own. Then, you could see for any meds help, if you need it. Try yet to don't put any more chemicals in your brain first and try to stay away from drugs, please! it's the best advice I can give you, from my own experience. You'll be better. Take care, and cheers it up.
  19. 2 points
    Did you shoot your load into your eye?
  20. 1 point
    Hello people . I’m new to this website and idk how active it is here but I just wanted to tell my story as short as possible. I first started taking LSD at age 16. At age 18 I had my last LSD trip. Not knowing it was going to be my last. That last trip was different. It wasn’t bad or it wasn’t good . It was different. But that same day I had smoked once it started to go away. And I was driving and all of a sudden I lost connection to reality . It was scary. And I didn’t know what it was . A week later I had this flashback. And it tripped me out. That night I woke up at 3 am in the morning to thunder and rain . When I woke up I felt scared. I thought I was feeling that way cause of the thunder. I’m a painter and I have this painting of a fish I did on my wall. I remember looking at it and it looked different . I got out of bed and I went to the bathroom and I saw myself in the mirror and I just felt very very off . And I knew something wasn’t right . I was fucking terrified. I went to my parents room and took a shower in a bathroom they had in they’re room. I remember showering and all the thoughts going thru my head . I felt as if I wasn’t in reality same time I knew this had to do something with my constant taking of LSD. I got out and I slept in my parents room on the floor. I was a 18 year old. Sleeping in my parents room cause I was tripping bad . I had to . My little brother was already sleeping on the floor so I slept near him literally grabbing on to his foot while sleeping cause I needed to feel like I had someone normal connected to me so I can stay sane. I didn’t say anything about what I was feeling. Idk how but I fell asleep . I woke up the next morning and that was day one of HPPD. Everything was different . Everything. My life flipped...... that was a year ago. October 28, 2016. And till this day I still have it . It has its ups and downs . And my answer to it is to stay bright, stay sharp, love yourself and love others. Keep yourself busy and please stay sober. Spread the word.
  21. 1 point
    I was listening to a podcast yesterday where someone with a brain injury was talking about how suicidal ideation is a common symptom or outcome of brain damage and I thought it was interesting given I had severe ideation through about the first year and a half of dealing with HPPD. It was also remarkable how similar her symptoms and story were to mine, which is often the case when I hear or read about brain injuries. I've long held HPPD is a brain injury but of course I can't prove it and neither can anyone here until more research is conducted, which unfortunately isn't likely anytime soon. That said, here are some similarities between common brain injury symptoms and my experience with HPPD: -- A "normal" life that abruptly changes after the occurrence of an incident resulting in complete life upheaval (state of abnormality if you will) -- Painstakingly slow recovery over the course of years following a balance of mostly rest with some mental and physical exercise (this would explain why stimulant substances and sometime even exercise often exacerbate HPPD symptoms; a damaged body needs rest, not stimulation) -- Compromised brain cell metabolism and glucose (explains brain fog head pain from sugary foods) -- Headache and head pain -- Difficulty with balance -- Blurred vision -- Visual disturbances -- Fatigue -- Changes in sensory perception (DP-DR could certainly qualify) -- Memory loss and forgetfulness -- Delayed mental processing -- Trouble speaking -- Disoriented sleep patterns -- Poor attention -- Depression and anxiety -- Light and sound sensitivity -- Nausea -- Irritability and mood changes --Inappropriate behavior -- Difficulty with reason, logic or focus -- Personality changes -- Normal MRIs As my condition has improved so have all my symptoms, however what I find striking about the list above is how many of these symptoms I had when I first got HPPD. In fact, I don't know that there's any I did not have, outside of perhaps nausea. I also never got around to taking my MRI but given the normality of those who have and the fact mild brain injuries don't show up in the scans it's also another similarity that shouldn't be overlooked. Part of the problem with identifying HPPD as a "brain injury" is that most of us have seen doctors who aren't trained in identifying subtle injuries outside the pervasive "Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI)" category which is mostly defined as injuries sustained through force. However, there are other forms of brain injuries, including mild brain injuries, that break down into many different categories and classifications which could very well correlate with HPPD. The most likely I've found is what's called "toxic anoxia," which is when the brain doesn't get enough oxygen due to toxic chemical interference. According to the Honor Society of Nursing, illegal street drugs are considered culprits of toxic anoxia. Another interesting field of study involving brain injury is that of impaired cellular function and metabolism in the immediate aftermath of the sustained injury. Regardless of what exactly leads to HPPD there can be little doubt that our brains are underperforming, which could be a result of abnormal and impaired cellular metabolism -- essentially, the normal processes of healthy cellular functioning have been interrupted for whatever reason. If you're someone who takes issue with the idea of necrosis then perhaps you will be more comfortable with the idea that the cells in our brains still exist but are simply shocked and unable to perform in high-potency environments. I'm enjoying reading about this stuff so I'm going to continue to see what I can find and will post here if anything piques my interest, however I do think it's important to plant this seed and get the HPPD community open to thinking about brain injuries specifically. If we continue to maintain the attitude HPPD is a beyond our understanding simply because we don't understand it then we likely won't make any progress in getting the medical attention we deserve. I think if we can at least adopt a general acceptance of some from of brain injury it would at least help push us in the right direction medically and away from the much stigmatized psychiatric route we've often pursued. If we push the narrative that toxic drugs lead to brain injury by talking with neurologists rather than that hallucinogens unlock some form of deep-seeded emotional imbalance by seeking out psychiatrists I think we'll have more luck in at least getting some attention to be honest. I really do think the way we phrase our condition can have an affect on how soon we're treated or whether we're treated at all.
  22. 1 point
    Hi MADDOC completely agree with you although I think as the initial visual symptoms become less intrusive (5 years say) the physical symptoms of the condition become the real enemy (fatigue,muscle pain,headaches etc ) and then i think the real fight begins as David said dealing with the ADHD and focus issues bad memory and brain fog can be hard. Diet I think has been a huge help in dealing with several of the above and for me pain killers and a muscle relaxant . Yayoe I think real HPPD dosent really go away, some have had it a very very long time It does however diminish over time or at least your focus on it does,I barely notice the visual now I would have to really focus on them (The brilliant TV after images that i used to watch floating around the room for days are gone ) the static remains but overall the original symptoms have diluted over time. You will live a normal life completely why wouldn't you ? its I think closely related PTSD your brain gets a real shock and the effects ripple in the pond for a while then it settles down and you just get on with it . Good luck you will be fine . Thanks Robbie
  23. 1 point
    Yeah i know. This may sound dramatic but i am always unlucky, and that's why i think it's HPPD in the back of my mind. It could also be a very mild case, or just similar and hopefully temporarily symptoms. Palinopsia/afterimages is really the only symptom i still have, which is weird because palinopsia is always a symptom and not an condition. I asked for help on the bluelight forum and most of them said palinopsia will go away by itself. I just hope this is a short-term thing, and i believe it is because i've seen significant improvement. And probably improvement most people with HPPD would kill for. I also believe that HPPD could be divided in two sections. Section 1: Symptoms: Visual snow, trailing, palinopsia, micropsia and macropsia (Alice in Wonderland syndrome), floaters and possibly photofobia, anxiety, DP/DR. These people are prone to depression and anxiety attacks, highly sensitive minds, strong emotions, fear of never being normal again, worrying it's permanent and blame themselves a lot for what happened. From the research i did i can conclude that this is most of the time not permanent, unless if they keep using psychedelics. The brain has a significant skill of healing/recovering/adjusting itself. Section 2: Symptoms: Morphing objects, breathing walls, crooked lines, flashes, very vivid vision, seeing organisms/demons that aren't there, CEVs, lucid dreaming, very big fear of going insane, everything moves, hard to see depth, weird large spots in vision, feeling of plastic cap in skull, sometimes think it's a cool thing to have these disturbances, feeling of frame rate problems in vision. Could also accompany a lot of the disturbances from Section 1. These people are not always anxious, but that depends on the kind of person. They have very realistic dreams and symptoms seem more like a hallucination. Most of the time not because of a bad trip, but because of large doses of psychedelics. The durance of these symptoms vary, some people notice them diminishing after a few months, some people already suffer from them for ages. I don't believe HPPD can truly be permanent, although there are people who already suffer from it for more than 30 years (I read about a man on this forum that already suffers from this for 43 years). Keep in mind that these trips/drugs alternated your brain in a chemical reaction. That means that another chemical reaction could reverse this. We just need the research and experiments to find a permanent cure. It's a chemical inbalance that just needs to be balanced again. And I consider me having a very similar thing to HPPD (possibly very very very mild HPPD) but i can imagine 100% what you guys are going through. I'm very fascinated by this condition (not really in a very positive way). But i'm motivated to fully recover and find something that may improve life for a lot of people here. I do also believe that a lot of people already have recovered, but don't want to be associated with this disorder anymore, that's why they don't post, they just don't care any more and try to forget what could easily be one of the worst moments in their lifes. Look how many people visit these forums, these aren't all of the sufferers. And the people who suffer the most post, the ones who don't suffer/overcame their suffering/recovered don't post anymore (except for a very small amount of them) because they just don't think about it anymore. For example: you don't find a lot of success stories about Anxiety Disorders/PTSD on the internet, while a lot of people have recovered from this! You should take this in consideration when researching HPPD and reading the horror stories. If you read on official medical websites about HPPD they say these visual disturbances in most cases last from months to years, and in worst case scenario for some people may be permanent. 50% recover in months, 1 in 50.000 psychedelics users get this disorder (don't know if this is measured in years, i think it is). Do the math yourself. How much people are on these forums? These medical websites do need research to back up their arguments, so it's hard to believe that they just post stuff that isn't true. I am in no way a proffesional in this kind of stuff, but when I'm interested in something i'm immediately like really really interested in it. Keep your hopes up! Just keep in mind that recovery is possible. It's just the sacrifices and effort your willing to take, and looooooottttsssss of patience. I know what you're thinking, don't be such a cry-baby because I've only had these symptoms for 1,5 month now and you're already recovering (still don't know if it's HPPD). But it feels like years right now. I wish you all the best, I think I'm going to research this disorder when I'm older. You should see this as a very harsh warning, just stay away from alcohol and drugs, please! That's a big part of recovering. adios!
  24. 1 point
    Really Really good happy birthday HPPD 36 years . Take hart guys it fades into insignificance with time . Good meds that actually work . Lycra -dihydrocodiene and prozac or a benzo when needed or a combination of any of these Good for the pain and brain fog of the condition which are the physical symptoms of the condition which is 95% of the condition . Be carefull to take breaks from them though, dropping one for a few weeks then swapping about to avoid tolerance. But really believe that you will recover because you will . no amount of believing you are going mad will actually make you go mad HPPD fades after time . I'm a million miles away from the onset and have learned so much from it that I honestly think it has had a beneficial effect on me as a person in almost every way Would I change It ? nope It would be like losing a guiding light as weird as that may sound . Good Luck Guys get the head down and start living , Whats Stopping you ? Thanks Robbie
  25. 1 point
    What an unempathic girlfriend. Well then you didn't miss something out atleast.. I wouldn't want that anyways. My girlfriend has been really supportive but now she's in another town now and doesn't seem to care too much about my problems anymore. As I've said I'm not depressed anymore so I guess she knows that I'll be alright. I'm glad that you see some effects from the Gabapentin. Does it help with any visuals? I did also got HPPD from these spanish crystals called MDMA so we might have the same thing. Use the lonliness to clear things out. Dig deep into yourself, forgive yourself, bring up old memories, think a lot about your life and what goals you might have. Who are you in 10 years? 20 years? Life is long man. No need to give in hope for such a brief moment. The pain will be relieved in time. As long as you keep your mind clear and try to be a little optimistic even though it can be very tough and almost denial to be sometimes. But please try!
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