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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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  1. 2 points
    I've flown 100s of times with hppd... Doesn't effect my symptoms at all. Have a good time, Sweden is a great, hope you meet Zlatan! He's a legend
  2. 2 points
    For work I travel to the Czech Republic roughly every three months. The first trip anywhere, for anyone, can be anxious. Most of the people you encounter in Europe speak english. If that's your primary language it shouldn't be a problem. Just relax and take it as it comes. Keep reminding yourself everything will be ok. The world has gotten smaller and foreign lands are familiar. In Prague Starbucks is a common sight. Traveling on a plane can be an anxious experience. I load music that I love on my phone and try to forget where I am. Yes, planes are weird, but they're very safe. Airports a just a pain in the ass, but if you stay calm, they're easy to navigate. Enjoy your travels. Having this disorder doesn't mean you can't have a wonderful journey.
  3. 1 point
    Hello guys,PS: this post could be of serious relevance to anyone who has visual snow, palinopsia, migrane aura, or any other related visual condition. Here is a link to the video that I'll be mentioning throughout: I had been suffering from incredibly intense, full-blown palinopsia for 4 years and it finally reached a stage of severity where I was simply unable to cope. So one night I went about my usual bi-annual researching of Googling "how to cure palinopsia" in a desperate attempt to see if there had been any updates or success stories since my last search. I stumbled across this YouTube video called "Visual Snow relief" and so I clicked into it. I saw that it was a pattern of white noise with a bit of oriental music which lasted for five minutes. Seeing as my own visual snow came on at the same time as my palinopsia I thought that having a look at the video was worth a go as there was obviously some connection between the two. I looked at the comments on the video and all of them went something like this: "Tried this and it was great as it "froze" my VS for a minute but it came back again afterwards (sad face)". I stared at the video for its 5 minute duration and had the same experience: my VS was frozen in place for around a minute and then resumed its original intensity after the minute or so had passed. However, what I decided to do differently from the rest of the people who made the comments was to stare at the video for a prolonged period of time. I download the video directly onto my computer and put it on loop on my VLC player and put the laptop right on my chest so it took up all of my visual field. I then proceeded to stare at the pattern of white noise for a full hour. I then looked around my room----My palinopsia had been reduced by over 95%. It was barely noticeable. Also, my VS was frozen and I could see much clearer and my eyes seemed to almost have a higher frames per second and refresh rate (for anyone who knows what I'm talking about). The world seemed very smooth.Now before I continue I don't want to get anyone too over excited about this as I am not a qualified medical professional so THIS IS NOT TO BE TAKEN AS A PRESCRIPTION. I do not know if the nature of your VS and/or palinopsia is the exact same as mine and for all I know staring at the pattern for an extended period of time could have no affect or even make your symptoms worse. You need to have a look at it for 5 minutes first (make sure the video is taking up as much of your vision as possible) and see if that has ANY positive affect. If it does then I have good news for you: you have discovered the cure for your palinopsia and potentially even your VS. I say potentially regarding VS because my VS was not of a huge magnitude to begin with but it has gone down over the months after staring at this pattern as well.And here's the next part. This will take months. And months. And months of continued, repeated use for MULTIPLE HOURS. But if you're serious about helping your visual condition improve then this is the level of dedication you'll have to have.What I decided to do was to treat myself as if I was both a medical professional and patient. I went about documenting the length of time I spent staring at the pattern and the impact it had on my symptoms. These are my exact records dating from April 2017. "VM" stands for visual meditation as that's what I nicknamed it. The way I measured my symptom severity was by turning the lights off in my room and looking back and forth to see how intense the flash of the laptop's screen was. The first two weeks went as follows:April 28th: 9.30pm. 30min VM. Symptom reduction from 9pts to 5pts....10.00pm. 30min VM. Symtpom reduction from 5pts to 3pts....10.35pm. 5min break. Symptom increase from 3pts to 6pts.10.40. 60min VM. Symtom reduction from 6pts to 2pts----April 29th. 10.45pm. 60min. Symptom reduction from 8pts to 3pts.....11.50pm. 30min. Symptoms remain at 3pts----April 30th. 10.30pm. 60min. Symptom reduction from 8pts to 3pts.....11.30pm. 60min. Symptom reduction from 3pts to 2pts. ----May 1st. 10.20pm. 60min. Symptom reduction from 7pts to 2pts.....11.20pm. 150min. Symptom reduction from 2pts to 0.5pts.* ----May 2nd. 12.30am. 60min. Symptom reduction from 7pts to 2pts.....01.20am. 40min. Symptom reduction from 2pts to 0.5pts.----May 3rd. 10.15pm. 15min. Symptom reduction from 7pts to 2pts.....11.00pm. 75min. Symptom reduction from 4pts to 1pt (break after 60min). ----May 4th. 11.20pm. 60min. Symptom reduction from 7pts to 2pts. ----May 5th. 11.30pm. 60min. Symptom reduction from 6pts to 1pt.....1.00am. 30min. Symtom reduction from 1pt to 0.5pt. ----May 6th. 12.20am. 30min. Symptom reduction from 8pts to 1pt**...12.50am. 30min. Symptom remains at 1pt....1.20am. 30min. Symptom reduction from 1pt to 0.5pt----May 7th. N/A (Alcohol drank earlier)----May 8th. 10.45pm. 60min. Symptom reduction from 6pts to 1pt----May 9th. N/A----May 10th. 10.45pm. 60min. Symptom reduction from 4pts to 0.5pt....11.45pm. 20min. Symptom remain at 0.5pt----May 11th. N/A----May 12th. 11.45pm. 15min. Symptom reduction from 4pts to 0.5pt....12.00am. 45min. Symptom remain at 0.5ptWhat this data should tell anyone who wants to use this method for tackling either their VS or their palinopsia or any other visual condition linked to VS is:---> A. You will need to spend a lot of time staring at this fixed noise pattern. Especially at the beginning. I did not see any noticeable improvments unless I spent at least a solid hour staring at it. I recommend using that time to listen to your favorite podcast or audiobook. I initially listened to the music that accompanied the video in case the melody had some sort of positive unconscious benefit but after a few months I ditched the audio and the benefits were still there. It's the visual stimulation that works. Also, please note that on May 1st* I spent nearly three and a half hours staring at this pattern and that was when I saw the most substantial drop in the symptoms. If you're dedicated to improvement you will spend this amount of time.--> B. This is your brain and it is not a linear equation. On May 6th** my symptoms were worse than the night before despite no explanatory cause. Also, throughout the months and still even to this day my symptoms are not entirely logical nor are they completely predictable. I could say that on an average day I walk around with my symptoms at 1 or 2 out of 10 and that after a good 45minutes of visual meditation my palinopsia will be at around 0.1/0.05 for the first 10 minutes and then maybe 0.5 for the rest of the evening. This may of course make you realize that technically the title of this post is incorrect: I still have palinopsia, but it is so reduced in its intensity that it feels like a non issue. There are times when I'm tired or been drinking or staring at a computer screen for a long time that the symptoms will ramp up to slightly higher numbers of maybe a 2 or a 3. Not VMing for a few days may also let the symptoms ramp up. But I never let this stress me out as I always know that simply staring at the pattern will reduce the symptoms almost in their entirety and that it can only get better and is under my control. The more time I dedicate to visual meditation then the better my condition will be and that sense of control and optimism and reduced symptoms is, as far as I'm concerned, worth while sharing. I am absolutely blessed to have found a cure. PS: if anyone's wondering why it took me nearly a year to make this post, I wanted to make sure that there were no adverse longterm affects of using this method. It has also been quite a long emotional process to actually fully register and realize the reality that I'm free from my symptoms after all these years. -->. C. Time. Time. And more time. What the data recordings cannot show is the amount of time that I would benefit after visually meditating as well as the improvements on a day to day basis. The only answer to that question is that you need to put in the hours. The more I did it the longer I would benefit from the reduction and the more reduced it would be only a daily basis. Nearly a year on I still have minor symptoms but I know that if I put aside a few nights for a few 3 hour marathons then I would see a daily benefit even now. You need to measure yourself on a monthly basis rather than a weekly or daily and then after perhaps six months of visually meditating for 2 hours every second night or so (more if possible. I would definitely recommend putting in a few 3 hour runs) then you will get to the point where you actually don't even bother staring at the pattern anymore because you don't think about your symptoms as being a problem. I still like to do it now as a means of habit whenever I'm listening to podcasts to keep on top of it as I don't want to take for granted what an unbelievable transformation this has been and let myself get complacent. TECHNICAL NOTES--> During my initial visual meditation sessions and especially throughout my extended sessions I would feel this absolutely sensational sense of relief right behind my eyes. Right directly in behind them. It felt like a sense of decompression/relaxation and even just typing this right now is giving me that feeling strangely enough... but to give more context, when I first got palinopsia I got it around the same time that I got tears in both of my retinas. After multiple eye examinations they concluded there was nothing wrong with my eyes and yet I was feeling this intense pain and pressure right in behind where my retinas are. Upon doing visual meditation for extended periods of time I would feel this pressure lifting and being released in an intensely pleasurable way. My intuition is telling me this probably has something to do with migrane aura. Could this technique be used to relieve people with migrane aura?--> There is 100% a connection between computer use and my "brand" of palinopsia and maybe even palinopsia and VS in general. But not for reasons that have been previously suggested. It clearly has nothing to do with the nature of laptop/pc monitors as it is by starting at a laptop screen that I was cured. However, the origins of my palinopsia also involve my first real prolonged writing sessions. Hours upon hours I would stare at a blank and static microsoft office application or a piece of paper while imagining the intense scenes of my writing. The reason I emphasize static is that the ultimate elevation of my symptoms to insane levels and what caused me to seek out a cure was after I took up a job working in an office. There I spent 8 hours a day staring at a completley and utterly static and blank excel document. The notion of consuming static visual content makes sense for the nature of my palinopsia as it was a static environment that created the initial symptoms and the final escalation, but it was the consumption of extremely fast moving visual content that cured it. I know that there were obviously some other factors invovled as not everyone who inhabits a static environment gets palinopsia but there is without a shadow of a doubt a connection there for any researchers who want to look into this.--> I know that I am not a doctor but I would highly recommend anyone who has just discovered that they have a medical condition like this: do not take drugs to cure it. Again, I'm speaking from intution and experience here and not a position of medical authority, but I truly feel that methods like this are the way forward. I would only recommend trying the medication route if you are unable to function.PERSONAL NOTEI was just about to type "I honestly never thought I'd find a cure" but then I stopped myself. That's wrong. I always knew that there was potential to find a cure. I had read books on how the brain was like plastic and I always had a ray of hope in me that knew that if something could get worse then it could always get better. I always had fantasies about going off to Tibet for a few months to meditate with the monks or pay an army of neuroscientists to research palinopsia to see if there was some way to improve the condition. And even if there was no cure then I always reminded myself that there are millions of people out there right now that can't even see, and I'm there complaining that I can see too much! Don't get me wrong I had my dark days and whenever life would get me down then the palinopsia always seemed ten thousand times more horrible than ever so I'm not underestimating what its like to have a condition like VS and palinopsia.What I'd like to say to anyone who has palinopsia and this doesn't work for is that the way I got through the hard years with it was to just accept that this was the way that I saw the world and that having the condition forever was not going to get in the way of leading a happy and succesful life. I tried to imagine how I'd feel if everyone else saw the world through a palinoptic lens and how I wouldn't think anything of it as it'd be a normal way of seeing. I'd just accept it as a fact of life and move on. And so that's what I did. I let go of my desire to control what I saw and just accepted that I was grateful for the ability to see. Period. I also reminded myself that some of the most exciting times I had in my life (I got palinopsia when I was 19 and had it all through college) were when I had full blown palinopsia and that my depressing childhood/teen years were without palinopsia yet I was way more miserable back then!! All of the great, great times I had for those four years were when my whole field of my vision was flashing like mad and the lights were flying all over the place and everything was trailling - but what I always remembered was to be thankful for the life that I had been given and to remember all the other people across the world who suffer from absolutely horrific medical conditions. All of us have our crosses to bear and that's what helped me get through the anxiety and depression that having a condition like palinopsia brought. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to be rid of it for a million reasons, and I hope that even if this doesn't work for you that you'll always keep that spark of hope at the back of your mind that there could be a way to cure your visual ailments in the future and that the plasticity of the brain knows no bounds. I suggest reading a book by Norman Doidge called "The Brain that Changes Itself". That book gave me hope on the staggering transformations that the mind is capable of. That your mind is capable of.If a problem can be made, then it can be also unmade. Never forget that, and never give up hope.Thank you for reading and I really hope this method helps you guys. Please let me know if it does and be sure to share this with as many people as possible who could potentially benefit from this.Yours sincerely,James McDonagh
  4. 1 point
    First I wanna introduce myself, my name is Lucas I’m from Brazil, my English is not that good so, I got my visual snow from abuse of MDMA and it’s being weird cause my visual I don’t see just static, when I focus on the wall I lightly see spinners spinning, even with my eyes opened or closed, and if I focus on it it becomes worse so I try to don’t focus on it cause I’m afraid to it get worse. I don’t know if it can go away or I’ll stay forever with it, is there anything that I can do? Thank you guys
  5. 1 point
    The best thing to do is stop all drug use (including weed), stop caffeine and nicotine (if possible), try to remove stress from your life. Eat healthy and exercise. Try to do things that distract your mind from it. There is a very good chance this will go away. If it does, please use this as your body's warning not to do any more drugs. If it is still here after 3-4 months, come back and then maybe start looking into the next steps, medication etc.
  6. 1 point
    Yeah i know. This may sound dramatic but i am always unlucky, and that's why i think it's HPPD in the back of my mind. It could also be a very mild case, or just similar and hopefully temporarily symptoms. Palinopsia/afterimages is really the only symptom i still have, which is weird because palinopsia is always a symptom and not an condition. I asked for help on the bluelight forum and most of them said palinopsia will go away by itself. I just hope this is a short-term thing, and i believe it is because i've seen significant improvement. And probably improvement most people with HPPD would kill for. I also believe that HPPD could be divided in two sections. Section 1: Symptoms: Visual snow, trailing, palinopsia, micropsia and macropsia (Alice in Wonderland syndrome), floaters and possibly photofobia, anxiety, DP/DR. These people are prone to depression and anxiety attacks, highly sensitive minds, strong emotions, fear of never being normal again, worrying it's permanent and blame themselves a lot for what happened. From the research i did i can conclude that this is most of the time not permanent, unless if they keep using psychedelics. The brain has a significant skill of healing/recovering/adjusting itself. Section 2: Symptoms: Morphing objects, breathing walls, crooked lines, flashes, very vivid vision, seeing organisms/demons that aren't there, CEVs, lucid dreaming, very big fear of going insane, everything moves, hard to see depth, weird large spots in vision, feeling of plastic cap in skull, sometimes think it's a cool thing to have these disturbances, feeling of frame rate problems in vision. Could also accompany a lot of the disturbances from Section 1. These people are not always anxious, but that depends on the kind of person. They have very realistic dreams and symptoms seem more like a hallucination. Most of the time not because of a bad trip, but because of large doses of psychedelics. The durance of these symptoms vary, some people notice them diminishing after a few months, some people already suffer from them for ages. I don't believe HPPD can truly be permanent, although there are people who already suffer from it for more than 30 years (I read about a man on this forum that already suffers from this for 43 years). Keep in mind that these trips/drugs alternated your brain in a chemical reaction. That means that another chemical reaction could reverse this. We just need the research and experiments to find a permanent cure. It's a chemical inbalance that just needs to be balanced again. And I consider me having a very similar thing to HPPD (possibly very very very mild HPPD) but i can imagine 100% what you guys are going through. I'm very fascinated by this condition (not really in a very positive way). But i'm motivated to fully recover and find something that may improve life for a lot of people here. I do also believe that a lot of people already have recovered, but don't want to be associated with this disorder anymore, that's why they don't post, they just don't care any more and try to forget what could easily be one of the worst moments in their lifes. Look how many people visit these forums, these aren't all of the sufferers. And the people who suffer the most post, the ones who don't suffer/overcame their suffering/recovered don't post anymore (except for a very small amount of them) because they just don't think about it anymore. For example: you don't find a lot of success stories about Anxiety Disorders/PTSD on the internet, while a lot of people have recovered from this! You should take this in consideration when researching HPPD and reading the horror stories. If you read on official medical websites about HPPD they say these visual disturbances in most cases last from months to years, and in worst case scenario for some people may be permanent. 50% recover in months, 1 in 50.000 psychedelics users get this disorder (don't know if this is measured in years, i think it is). Do the math yourself. How much people are on these forums? These medical websites do need research to back up their arguments, so it's hard to believe that they just post stuff that isn't true. I am in no way a proffesional in this kind of stuff, but when I'm interested in something i'm immediately like really really interested in it. Keep your hopes up! Just keep in mind that recovery is possible. It's just the sacrifices and effort your willing to take, and looooooottttsssss of patience. I know what you're thinking, don't be such a cry-baby because I've only had these symptoms for 1,5 month now and you're already recovering (still don't know if it's HPPD). But it feels like years right now. I wish you all the best, I think I'm going to research this disorder when I'm older. You should see this as a very harsh warning, just stay away from alcohol and drugs, please! That's a big part of recovering. adios!
  7. 1 point
    I tried this for like a week this month. Noticed that (at least for my weird brain chemistry) there was some increase in serotonin. I get sexual side effects from SSRIs that were similar to what this causes. Also when I stopped taking it I had a HORRIBLE time two days later--- feelings of SSRI withdrawal, muscle tension and cramping all throughout my body, extremely decreased motility, extreme depression.... Lasted for a day and then I was much better the next. Except for the motility. I didn't shit without an enema for a week. Now I'm going once every two days which still isn't enough. This could eh unrelated to the compound though unless it triggered one of my HPPD symptoms (gastric issues) Good antidepressant effect though while it's working. Also I was taking VERY low doses. I think I probably ingested between 20 and 40 mg throughout this whole thing (insulfated). I found it to be powerful enough when taken in small increments throughout the day (1-3 mg) First few times I didn't notice much but after a while I would get a sort of rush while taking it. Maybe something I will take in the future sporadically but I'm talking like once a week to prevent whatever happened last time from reaccuring.
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