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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

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  1. 3 points
    I think these MDMA/LSD therapy treatments need to be held to the same strict levels as medications, with a very clear set of potential side effects. Needs to be fully regulated
  2. 3 points
    I've been doing this every year for the last four years since I got HPPD on May 8, 2015. I can't put into words how much I've been through and how much my life has changed since that day. I know a lot of people here understand what it's like, but trying to explain this to your everyday normal person feels impossible. I just never imagined in a million years my life would turn out the way it has. I actually had a major setback a few months ago from a mold exposure where I basically had HPPD all over again except on a much smaller scale than the first time. Three months later I still feel disconnected from my body a bit (worsened streamers mostly), but it's to the point where I don't notice it hardly at all as long as I eat right and avoid inflammatory foods which always make it worse. Speaking of, I'm pretty convinced HPPD is some sort of autoimmune reaction in the brain. I know nobody has the answer but this so me makes the most sense after trying to piece the puzzle together for the last four years. All the more reason to eat healthy and exercise! I don't know that I'll ever totally overcome HPPD and return to completely normal vision. I've always had eye floaters and a bit of snow so my normal is probably always gonna have some HPPD symptoms. But overall I feel I'm getting close to that normal feeling again, whatever that is. I think in another two years or so I'll be pretty much done with HPPD as a chapter of my life. It's strange, I remember years ago when I first got HPPD I thought there'd be some kind of cure. I often fantasized about it and what I'd do if I was able to suddenly return to my old brain, personality and way of life. I thought I'd be the happiest person alive. But as it turns out HPPD fades extremely slow, almost to the point where you don't even notice it improving at all. The years just pass by, you keep checking in only to feel about the same as you did before, until a few years pass, then a few more and finally you realize you've made a ton of progress and you can maybe even see the light at the end of the tunnel. That's sorta how I feel now. I've improved enough to where I'm closer to being me again than I ever have in the last four years. I've had lots of other health struggles since getting HPPD that have also transformed my life, but HPPD is honestly the least of my worries at this point, which feels incredible to say. I'm hoping to do some work in the future with regards to bringing some attention to this disorder -- I just don't know what quite yet. I also need to get fully healthy before I do. In the meantime I'm gonna keep doing what I've been doing the last four years: eating healthy, exercise, work, spend time in nature, learn, love my friends and family and just try to take it one day at a time. That's the only thing you can do with this disease: just put one foot in front of the other.
  3. 3 points
    Congrats! I wish more people posted about when they get better. I think the vast majority of people with HPPD recover, if not fully then at least to a degree they can live with it and sustain a normal life. You're lucky to have been so young and have had such a malleable brain. You've got your whole life ahead of you now! Stay away from drugs and make the most of it!
  4. 3 points
    Hey everyone! I’ve had HPPD for a little under a year now (OD’d in early August), I’m pretty lucky considering that the drug I took was nBOME and HPPD is all that I have as a long term sideeffect. This was the second time I took this drug, and I didn’t take it knowing it was nBOME though I suspected it was. I’m an 18 year old and I’ve had HPPD since I was 17. After my first trip on this drug (1 tab) I experienced very minor HPPD, I had no noticeable personality changes and the only thing that really happened was an isolated feeling of tripping in my left thigh (very weird). It didn’t bug me at all and it was actually kind of pleasant to feel. It occurred fairly rarely, about only once or twice a week. My second trip was hell. I popped 3 tabs into my mouth, pulled up some anime, and waited in my bed at 8 pm for it to hit. It was extremely overwhelming for around 2 hours at the peak. I remember that I forgot how society worked, I forgot that real life was a thing and I just basically went crazy for a bit. Eventually, I hit a point where I made the sudden realization that after death, I would cease to exist. Coming to terms with that at the peak of my trip really fucked me up, and it took quite a bit of time to get over it. After my trip, I entered a state of psychosis. I couldn’t sleep and just felt like absolute shit. The trip not ending when it should have initiated the psychotic state and I ended up having to tell my parents that I just took drugs. I finally fell asleep after around 30 hours from when I initially took the drug. Recovery was greatly aided by an electrolyte drink my dad got from CVS. After that time I felt pretty weird, I didn’t enjoy anything for some reason and brain felt really numb. Food tasted off, I didn’t enjoy listening to music that I loved before and watching tv was boring. I also felt like my personality went kind of blank. To fix that, I watched a YouTube channel called JK news, the hosts on there are pretty vibrant and it helped stimulate human contact so I could get the hang of it again before talking to friends. slowly but surely my brain has reached a level where I have minor visual issues that are unnoticeable when I get enough sleep. I find that drinking caffeine makes my symptoms more pronounced as well, so I’ve cut off drinking energy drinks to handle school and instead push myself to stay up if I need to. I remember trying to smoke weed to see if it would mess with my brain back in December (4 months after OD) and sure enough it gave me heavy brain fog and I noticed changes in my personality. as of right now, I feel pretty alright. HPPD hasn’t been as much of a nuisance in my life except for the very rare moments when I’ll stay up til 2 am studying for a test and start tripping heavily. I’m still able to do high level work, my class load of organic chemistry, calculus 4, differential equations, etc in my senior year of high school isn’t impaired by my HPPD and I’ve found that it’s been a huge incentive for me to live my life in a healthier manner. I’ve been sober ever since I smoked weed in December. To anyone that’s suffering and thinks that things won’t get better, they will. Time helps heal the brain. I went from feeling like my brain was fried to succeeding in all my hard courses while maintaining a good social life. Of course, I’m still looking for a way to eliminate my restrictions (caffeine, sleep, etc.), but life is still fulfilling. HPPD has made me more aware of how my brain functions in that I analyze things with much more awareness, which has its pros and cons but it’s still an overall bonus. Don’t let this condition keep you from achieveing your goals and dreams. I’d like to become a member of this forum since you guys are the only other people I know of that suffer from this. I plan on going into medschool and would like to become a neurosurgeon, maybe neurologist down the road if I can’t do surgery while sleep deprived. I’m hoping to start research into HPPD and will do everything I can to find out what happened and how to fix it.
  5. 3 points
    MadDoc has covered it well there. the majority of people who sign up on here tend to stop posting after a couple of months, which suggests that most cases of hppd heal after a while (this is backed up with anecdotal evidence from speaking to people via PM here). Try not to stress about it for now. I wouldn't even read up too much about it. Just eat well, excercise, take your mind off it any way you can. This does add to my fear about the sudden gold rush towards mdma/lsd as a legitimate therapeutic treatment though.
  6. 2 points
    Hello, I’m sorry to hear about all you have gone through; life can be very difficult and each of us have our own battles. From my experience if we focus on our problems they only get bigger. In the age of the internet this can have terrible results because there is an endless stream of information available that can make us feel worse about ourselves. My advice to you is to try and not focus on your condition or the troubles from your past. Therapy can be very good with the right person to address what’s troubling you. Meditation is also an incredible tool that is free and can be very effective for treating depression, anxiety and other issues. The important thing with meditating is consistency; it’s like working out. You will not reap the benefits unless you put in the time and energy. It also is a subtle business that comes only after a few weeks of practice but then eventually one day you realize everything is okay and as it should be. For mediation it’s always worth investing in some course to help learn the basic techniques and ask all of your questions. These are typically pretty cheap and you only really need to attend a few classes. Anyway it sounds like you’re on the right path. Remember the ‘here and now’ is all we can influence and all that matters. It’s so easy to forget that. Keep pushing forward and believe things will get better and they will. Keep seeking peace and you will find it. I’ve messed up so many times but those low points provide lessons. Also hope is essential to keeping a good additude. Take care and keep posting on this forum. Nick
  7. 2 points
    You said you don't have an outlet, maybe you can create one. Find a healthy distraction from what's going on. I am filled with anxiety as well and I know it can be absolutely debilitating; I also have OCD. What works for me is keeping busy. I go to the gym a lot, I play chess, I read, meditate and I go for long walks. Find something that brings you joy and can take your mind off of the current situation. Keep coming back to these forums, when you share your problems with others I have found that it has the effect of making them seem smaller. A lot of anxiety I think is rooted in our perception of the situation, and often times that perception isn't even logical and therefore not sound. Anyway hang in there, believe that it will get better and it will. Take Care, Nick
  8. 2 points
    okay since February my HPPD symptoms have slowly went down i avoided all types of drugs especially when sick i would only take ibuprofen and pray that it isn’t anything worse than a cold. I’ve tried to eat healthy but it not really good at that. Since overdosing on THC i’ve ended up going through a spiritual awakening so i’ve been very occupied and forgot all about my HPPD until night time when i dim my lights. I just now started exercising and i see my symptoms getting a bit worse but since I read some of the past topics on here I guess it will get better and not worst i’ll see what happens but other that i only see a lot of static , ghost images , shadows and splashes of color. Anyways i just decided to post my update on my HPPD symptoms.
  9. 2 points
    Thank you for posting. The fact that your symptoms are improving is great news! Keep posting to let people know what's working for you. It might help someone else in the future.
  10. 2 points
    Hey All! It's almost been two years now with HPPD, coming up on June 2nd. Man, it's been a hell of a fucking ride. I don't know where to start, I've grown so much since getting it when I was 16, I'm 18 now. I'm graduating from high school in 15 days. This site has been in my life less-so in the past year, but you guys really gave me the guidance I so needed as a confused 16-year-old. I just wanted to come on and say thank you for all the guidance and love. Just wanted to say my symptoms really have almost gone away, like 90% gone! It's just the fucking depersonalization and sadness I feel that stay with me regardless of the change I've gone through. Even though I feel this way, life is only going to get better from here! To another year! Andrew A.K.A Originally Lizard_1.mp4
  11. 2 points
    Thanks MadDoc, yeah Im still in a rough state generally but I find that my symptoms will peak for days or a couple weeks and then tend to stabilize (tho as of writing they have yet to return to my baseline) Unfortunately I can never tell (and I don’t think any of us can) if when I feel a bit better that’s because my symptoms did actually lower in intensity or if I just got used to it. What stuff sets you off and how long do these reactions tend to last? thanks!
  12. 2 points
    Twelve days isn't much time. You may just be experiencing the remnants of your recent experience. I'm not a doctor or a medical professional. That being said, in my opinion, you're going to be fine because your symptoms sound mild. I realize it may not feel that way because it's happening to you, and I'm not trying to minimize what you're going through. Hppd can be debilitating and it sounds like you're doing pretty well. Stay clear of psychedelics and cannabis. Try not to put too much focus on the symptoms you're experiencing. Instead, focus on your daily tasks, challenges, and fun. Take care of yourself, and hang in there.
  13. 1 point
    The Visual Snow Initiative is working in cooperation with specialists on lenses/ glasses that are supposed to reduce vs symptoms. It's going to be available this summer. This info has been available on https://www.visualsnowinitiative.org/ but not anymore. However for further info you can contact them via email, they are happy to help.
  14. 1 point
    Wow cool man! Idk but somehow i saw an improvement even with regular glasses(doesn't make a lot of sense but i did see an improvement). Ty for that!
  15. 1 point
    I saw this video too. Im currently trying his method and i have to say that its very effective for my vs . If you think that you have jaw problems, mewing may help you . Ive been mewing for 2 months and apart from the jawline improvement, my jaw feels AMAZING. Do a research on it and let me know your thoughts!
  16. 1 point
    Thanks for sharing.
  17. 1 point
    Hi guys. Im apparently new to the forum, so i want to start by explaining my story and how and why i got here. Im 16 years old and as you can imagine, people between that age aren't very concerned about their health or anything in general. Even though i was a kid who liked exercising or working out i was also very curious on trying drugs like weed . About a year ago, my mom got cancer but i couldn't feel anything, like i had no fear that she was going to die(i hadnt tried any drug in my life, not even tobacco or alcohol), feeling like im some kind of numb, not having empathy (which scared me because i was that kid who would be concerned about anything related to his family.) A couple months later, i started feeling more lost. I had lost the days and i didnt care at all . I was depressed but i didnt want to realize it. I couldn't accept the fact that something was wrong about my mental health at that point. After my vacation between December and January, i came back, again kinda numb. School was closed for Christmas and would open soon. As school opened, my friend asked me if i want to smoke some weed with his friends. Not even thinking about it, i answered, why not? The next couple of weeks i would smoke about 2-3 bong hits a week(nothing more). And yet i wasnt feeling high(maybe because of the dosage) . So one day i made a stupid desicion to get as high as possible(at that point i hadnt get a single high feeling in my life, not even from the bong hits). I started smoking and taking bong hits. I ate nothing. Fifteen minutes later i was kinda confused. I would be so stupid that i couldn't even think of simple things. I started to realize that i was high and it felt cool, for the first minutes. 2 minutes later i started feeling like i was in a boat, like i was lost and dizzy. Suddenly, my vision started to have some wierd black dots everywhere . I had a blackout and a bad panic attack . The high was so strong that i couldn't control or see anything for a couple of seconds(idk if that sounds a bit unrealistic but im trying to explain everything as it went through). After that seconds, i took control over my body, but it was like i was in a lucid dream. Like i was a camera, like i was observing the world through the tiniest tv screen . I felt my body strange. I would touch things and feel them after 2 to 3 seconds . I was so confused and anxious . My friends had freaked out because nothing similar didnt happen to them ever .i lost my mind, i got paranoid that this thing would last forever, like i was going to live the rest of my life like this. 2 hours later i wasn't high no more, but something felt strange. I went to sleep and i remember being between sleep and awake. I was so lost that night. I was having a dream of getting paranoid while i was also partly awake. The morning came and yet i was lost. I had black dots around my visual field, I couldn't see the walls clearly, like if they had some light everywhere in them. Moving my eyes from a shiny direction to another, i would see the previous image blurry for a couple of seconds. All that combined scared the shit out of me making me more paranoid about everything. I started feel like i was fake, everything seemed like a dream, my body felt like it wasnt mine. I got home after school and i remember having a nap caude i was to tired. Again, i couldn't sleep, i was somewhere between sleep and awake, lost. I woke up feeling like i was a stranger to everything. I had delay on touching things like when i was high. Im not gonna lie, i thought i was in a dream again. That night i explained my parents everything and they were very helpful. The next days my symptoms got worse. My anxiety increased and i had some terrible panic attacks. I would see those black dots everywhere ( when i would wake up in the morning they were moving fast as hell), and a little tinnitus. After a couple of days i would have that delay over the things i touch for some minutes and that was kinda annoying and unexplainable to me . I started observing around and seeing some small halos around people. The first couple of months was literally HELL. Suicide was the only option, i would tell to myself. Everyday i was overanalyzing everything. My walk, the way i talk, how am i able to see humans everyday without observing everything they do and all that insane stuff. It became i habit. Every single day 24/7 checking in to see whats wrong , if im going to be like this for the rest of my life. I went to therapists but they didnt help. They wouldn't diagnose anything. I had an mri and still nothing. I was feeling so unaware of everything. Being in autopilot. I also started homeopathy but it didnt help. My visual symptoms stayed the same 24/7 . The only time the were worse , it was when i was waking up(stayed for 10-15 minutes and then back to normal). 2 months got by without me doing nothing except of overanalyzing every single detail of me, my movements everything.it was that time that i couldn't take it anymore. I started running once a week . It did help with my anxiety (not my visual symptoms though. They were the same all the time.) I also started to taking cold showers. Amazing . Simply amazing for my mental state. It was so difficult at first but i tried and trying my best not to care about jt . I would gonto school and starting to get mote sociable,although feeling lost cause of my vision, but i tried not to care at all(it helped). Now im 4 months after that terrible experience and im way better with the dpdr thing. The only thing that remains is the visual symptoms and the feeling that im in a moving boat. They scare me sometimes causing me panic attacks. I hope that time will heal me and all that people that feeling hopeless. Remember guys, you are not hopeless. You will never be. I was hopeless for months and i did nothing. I AM BETTER. even though my vs and all that hppd symptoms are still there im in a way better mental state than i was. If someone is feeling hopeless or wants to talk, feel free to hit my dm anytime. That was my story . Hope u people found ot helpful. It surely release some kind of a tension to me! Stay safe
  18. 1 point
    Might look up how people with schizophrenia deal with those symptoms and apply that to myself??
  19. 1 point
    Yep... I'm not even against it in the slightest (I've seen a depressed friend go from suicidal to pretty much cured from Ketamine treatment)... But the goldrush scares me and it is being marketed or spoke about as a "safe" alternative.
  20. 1 point
    @Jay1 I couldn't agree more. Drugs like LSD and MDMA seem to help some people. However, it needs to approached carefully, be monitored, and combined with more traditional therapies. Regulation and accountability of the care provider should be carefully monitored.
  21. 1 point
    The University of Sussex, UK, is recruiting participants aged 18 or over to complete an online questionnaire relating to the visual symptoms associated with visual snow syndrome and hallucinogen persisting perception disorder (HPPD). To participate you should experience the visual symptoms associated with visual snow syndrome and/or HPPD. The questionnaire will take approximately one to two hours to complete, depending on the number of questions you answer and the detail of your responses. It will include answering some questions about what visual symptoms you experience alongside on-screen illustrations of those visual symptoms. You will also be asked about how your visual symptoms impact your life. Other questions include those which ask about some aspects of your medical history. The questionnaire must be completed either on a laptop computer, a desktop computer or an iPad. To complete the questionnaire, please visit: https://universityofsussex.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_blrsONUZAQ19BGZ Some extras: - You can complete the questionnaire in more than one sitting so long as you have cookies enabled and return to the same browser on the same computer. Your progress is automatically saved when you continue to a new page within the questionnaire. Your partial responses are saved for one week. - We are carrying out ongoing research on visual snow syndrome and hallucinogen persisting perception disorder at the University of Sussex. This is the first of a series of questionnaires which will be released over the coming months. It’s really important for our research that we receive a high number of responses, and so I would encourage you to complete this questionnaire if you are able to!
  22. 1 point
    90 percent is huge! That's wonderful! If you've recovered that much in two years, I think you'll see continued improvement. Whatever you're doing to deal with this disorder, keep at it! In the future someone will come to this forum, read your post, and it'll give them hope.
  23. 1 point
    I recently put up a post indicating that May 6th, 2019 was the last day to take the Visual Snow/HPPD survey. This was an error. The survey will be closed a week from today. If you haven’t taken it please do it ASAP! The more data that’s collected, the greater the chances of more research being done on these two terrible conditions. Remember, the survey can only be accessed via desktop computer. NO MOBILE DEVICES! Access the survey here: https://twitter.com/simonsaryazdi/status/1125798943873470464?s=21 #CureHPPD #CureVisualSnow
  24. 1 point
    There's one week left to complete the questionnaire. Please keep the responses coming. Thanks!
  25. 1 point
    This has been extended until 14th May. 🙂
  26. 1 point
    Hello, I tried microdosing mushrooms last year and ultimately that mixed with smoking weed and also eating higher doses brought my HPPD back after several years. My personality is such that I have a hard time controlling my impulses and with psychedelics I always want to go deeper and see what is there. Everyone is different and I believe that mushrooms when used properly can be very beneficial for a number of problems such as depression, anxiety, spiritual funk etc. However that being said I don't know if it makes sense that they can help with HPPD. At the same time, there is no way of knowing one way or the other; we simply do not understand the brain and psychedelics enough to give a definitive answer. The things that have worked for me have been staying sober, exercise, eating well, sleep and meditation. Again, everyone is different. My advice to you would be this: think about what your motivation is, Do you want to eliminate your HPPD? Are you searching for spiritual answers? Do you want to treat depression and anxiety? Now which one is the most important to you? If eliminating HPPD is what your goal is then you need to accept that micro dosing can exacerbate your symptoms. If you are okay with that and willing to risk it then be careful, stick to a regiment and keep a journal and see what happens. Remember to stop if your symptoms really start coming back, and be wary of eating higher doses. If they do come back just stop and they will eventually fade and your experiment will be complete. If they don't, remember they always can so don't be reckless like I was. Anyway, I wish you the best of luck, let me know if you have any questions and let us know how things go. Remember be careful and most importantly Be Honest with Yourself. Take Care, Nick
  27. 1 point
    Hi Jake, these are the exact situations benzos are good for, a much better coping mechanism than alcohol, which is good at the times, but doubles down on anxiety the next day. I'm sure you know how benzo addiction goes, so probably don't need to mention to be careful (you seem to be very sensible about this stuff already). I would try and ride it out as best you can for a few months, then, if there is no change, start thinking about medication. Although it sounds like you don't have hppd (great news) i think the anxiety and dpdr should be treated in a similar way... Avoid drugs and alcohol, even caffeine, eat healthy, work out/exercise, try to de-stress in anyway you can, even if it means slobbing in front of the tv for a couple of months. All the best, Jay
  28. 1 point
    Appreciate it. Even if you think your brain is pretty much set and unable to fully recover I still think maintaining a healthy lifestyle is the best option for mental health and overall well being. I've noticed the foods I eat actually alter my moods and ways of thinking. Any advantage you can get while dealing with HPPD is one worth having. You don't have to go all out, but if you exercise four times per week, do some yoga, avoid processed foods, get proper sunlight, meditate, find purpose in your life and surround yourself with positive social connections then you can find happiness with this condition. I firmly believe that because I've seen it with myself and I had a horrendous case of HPPD to start.
  29. 1 point
    So it seems like there've been a lot of posts here recently from first-time users, those new to HPPD, wondering if (A) they indeed have HPPD and (B) if so, how they go about treating it. It's been established that immediate and lasting abstinence from drugs is perhaps the most important factor in healing, followed by living a healthy lifestyle, exercising, eating right, meditating and so on. This formula has worked well for me and many others and I'd just like to share a bit more detail about what I've been doing over the last nine months that has really jumpstarted my recovery into a higher gear. Sleep It all starts with a good night's sleep. You need at least six hours and preferably no more than nine. That seems to be the goldilocks zone for a healthy sleep cycle that won't leave you tired or drowsy the next morning. Sleep is when our brain's repair cycle occurs so it's important to allow yourself to heal at night otherwise you're not giving yourself a good chance to heal from HPPD as a whole. Before bed I always meditate using binaural beats. I focus on my body, where I'm tight, where I feel stress, and I always try and loosen up, ask myself why I feel that way. I also focus on my thoughts and ask why they are that way. If I'm relaxed, I ask what I did during the day to make myself relax. If I'm nervous I ask myself what I did or perhaps ate that made me feel stressed or energized. This shouldn't be a period of deep thinking, rather of deep awareness. It's a great way for me to recap the day, figure out what I did right and wrong that helps me sleep well at night and recover as a whole from HPPD. I also go to bed early and sleep in a very dark and cool room on a very firm bed. This is the best setting for getting good rest. If you can tune out noise that helps as well. On nights I feel I'll have a hard time sleeping I drink tea before bed, preferably chamomile, lemon balm, lavender and other "sleepytime" teas that have lots of good, natural healthy herbs that promote rest but also don't leave you feeling groggy the next day. I'm a very firm believer teas have helped me sleep well and recover and they're proven to be incredibly good for you too, especially chamomile. I've had a difficult time reading lately, but I'd recommend reading a bit before bed if you can. Maybe this is a magazine or a book, but you should try and dim the lights, avoid the computer and TV and really prepare yourself for sleep as if it's a sacred act. Also, avoid eating lots of sugar or carbs before bed as these can disrupt your sleep. Morning Exercise Routine When I wake up I have a very set routine. First I make my morning exercise drink. It's important to hydrate in the morning but rather than just drinking a couple glasses of water I'll drink my "exercise drink" followed by a glass of water. In my exercise drink I boil a cup of holy basil tea, then I squeeze a lemon wedge, add a half teaspoon of turmeric, a pinch of Himalayan sea salt, about five to 10 drops of bacopa tincture and then occasionally I'll add very small amounts of other ingredients like cayenne, pine pollen, apple cider vinegar, aloe vera juice or passionflower tincture. Many of these ingredients do one of two things: They either clean your system out or promote brain growth and a positive mood. They're also some of the healthiest foods in the world. I think this tonic has done a lot in helping me maintain positive bodily health as well as a positive mood in route to healing my HPPD. Turmeric and some form of adaptogen (bacopa, holy basil and ashwagandha work best for me) are the most important elements of this drink for my overall well being. I also have rotated many other things in and out and never overdo it since adding too many herbs can be overwhelming mentally. It's always important to start small and work your way up and never add too much stuff at one time. After I hydrate I then go on a run every other day, preferably about three miles. After I run I stretch, do some yoga poses and lift weights. I only do this every other day, however, because you can easily work out too much and cause your body damage. It's very important to rest and allow your body to heal. If you wanted to do some very light workouts every day I think that'd be OK though. Either way, working out in the morning when cortisol is low is the best. It's also a great way to start the day off right and get blood flowing to the brain to allow it to work well the rest of the day. No matter what type of workout I do I always try and push myself to do some brief high-intensity exercises -- but never too much! -- as this is the best way to create BDNF which is the main ingredient in growing new neurons. After working out I eat breakfast -- the most important meal of the day. This usually entails some form of a veggie stir-fry, fruit, organic yogurt, eggs, etc. Whatever it is I always try and eat mostly vegetables with a little bit of fruit, perhaps some form of meat for protein. Then I take certain vitamins along with my meal, those being B-complex (Country Life co-enzyme are the best in my opinion), digestive enzymes (Now Foods are the best for me), selenium, sunflower lecithin (helps brain health and neurogenesis) a combination D and K vitamin (since you need K to go along with D) and fish oil. I've also added a few other really good supplements occasionally, like reishi mushroom capsules (a superfood for brain health) and spirulina (another superfood), but I've mainly stuck to the above for about nine months with good success and no side effects. Additional supplements I will likely try in the future that are good for brain health are phosphatidylcholine, ginkgo, lion's mane and vinpocetine, but again, I don't want to overload so I'm going to try them one by one in order to see if they affect my mood or cognition negatively. Lunch Getting your blood glucose under control is key for brain health so I try and avoid snacking while eating three times a day, about four to six hours apart, and never eat too much or indulge in too much sugar -- which I admit is very difficult, though I try. For lunch I try and eat more cold foods, maybe some probiotics like kombucha or fermented veggies, sea veggies, nuts, bone broth, a salad (celery artichoke, olives), tuna or sardines, etc. I also eat a tablespoon of olive oil and a bit less of coconut oil. These should be in everyone's diet, especially those trying to heal from HPPD, as they are some of the healthiest fats out there. I also take zinc during lunch and sometime afterwords I might make up some mint tea or just any type of tea that doesn't contain caffeine and won't make me drowsy. Dinner At night I do something similar to breakfast, mostly veggies but of a different variety. I eat more potatoes, peppers, zucchinis, mushrooms, onions, garlic and usually some protein whereas in the morning I eat more green veggies. It's just about mixing up different types of veggies really. I also take magnesium, another digestive enzyme and more fish oil with this meal. Then afterwords I make up a health dessert of oats, coconut flakes, organic honey, chia seeds, hemp seeds, coconut milk, a few blueberries and a variety of different healthy spices, especially cinnamon. Additional Health Notes There are certain foods I basically structure my entire diet around. These are some of the healthiest foods in the world and especially so for brain health. They include: Celery, Artichoke, Basil, Parsley, Red Grapes, Tea (watch out for caffeine!), Turmeric, Olives, Organ Meats, Grass-Fed Beef, Free-Range Poultry, Wild-Caught Fish, Coconut Milk, Blueberries, Avocados, Bone Broth, Coconut Oil, Olive Oil, Pumpkin, Cruciferous Veggies (better when cooked!), Beets, Garlic (wait 10 minutes after cutting before cooking for best benefits), Ginger, Apple Cider Vinegar, Cinnamon, Algae, Figs, Aloe Vera Juice, Onion (best eaten raw), Apples, Chicory Root, etc. Additional superfoods: Cacao (dark chocolate has caffeine so don't eat too much!), bee pollen, algae (spirulina and chlorella), hemp seeds, chia seeds, goji berries, coconut, maca, acai, camu camu, kelp, aloe vera, noni, etc. Omega 3-rich foods (your brain desperately needs these at all times for repair): Cod liver oil, mackerel (by far the most), salmon, tuna, sardines, herring, walnuts, chia seeds, flaxseeds, hemp seeds, egg yokes, etc. High fat foods (ditto to the above): Nuts (macadamia especially) and seeds (chia, flax, etc.) cruciferous veggies, avocados, wild-caught fish, free-range eggs, olives, extra virgin olive oil, coconut oil, palm oil, coconut, dark chocolate, etc. Probiotic foods: Fermented veggies (kimchi, sauerkraut, pickles, etc.) kombucha, full fat plain grass-fed Greek yogurt, etc. Prebiotic foods (probiotic foods eat prebiotic foods to function): Chicory root, Jerusalem artichokes, dandelion greens, garlic, leeks, onion, asparagus, etc. Also, I try and avoid gluten if possible. It's been linked to all sorts of different cognitive disorders and health problems so I think while I'm healing I'm gonna try and stay away from it as much as I can. The good news is there's so many different gluten-free options out there that you can still basically eat whatever you want, even pizza and sandwiches. Anyway, this schedule is really working for me. Recovering from HPPD has been a very slow process but I really think eating right, exercising properly and giving my brain the fuel it needs to heal has been a huge turning point in my recovery. Just thought I'd share my routine to perhaps give people an idea of a safe route to follow in case they're unsure of which direction to go in trying to heal. Some of the supplements above might not work for everyone so it's really important to take this with a grain of salt and ease into things slowly. No matter what path you chose to heal from HPPD I think living a healthy lifestyle should without question be the centerpiece, and I think as long as you abstain from drugs as well you give yourself a great shot at healing, even if it takes a few years. Good luck everyone!
  30. 1 point
    Great post KB—figured Id give it a bump—I wish I had adhered to this much much earlier on...not that I’m following it now though I’ve had my “super healthy” periods To be honest I’ve had this condition for so long I wonder if adopting any of these suggestions would have any benefit. I suppose if Keppra, for example, can still help even some long-termers then a concentrated effort at maintaining a healthy lifestyle could at least have some effect. anyways good post
  31. 1 point
    I think with my significant increase in symptoms over the past 18 months I’ve just grown very tired. this last increase tho, as said, didn’t seem to happen from anything I ingested but simply going back to live with my folks and perhaps a cold. Since it wasn’t a drug or med I am hoping it will normalize as I continue to move on and just throw myself into whatever is coming next
  32. 1 point
    All finished! I hope everyone who is able to complete this study takes the opportunity to do so. Here's to hoping it'll lead to future studies on HPPD!
  33. 1 point
    Cognition, anxiety, and depression seem to remain the same (occasional dips in depression and anxiety) but visuals have improved by about a 30-40%.
  34. 1 point
    The long and short of it is, you need to live a clean sober life.
  35. 1 point
    Cognition has recovered 100%, anxiety by about a 75-80%, depression by a 90-95%. However, recovery on visuals has been 5%. This might last months.
  36. 1 point
    The 1080HD version is available at resolution of my monitor. CLICK to SUBSCRIBE! I just recorded my screen and started showing some behind the scenes. I have a real camera, I can make audio but right now I wanted to just make something that shows how much research exists and was published on this topic and how can a researcher miss these papesr if I found them for my undergraduate thesis. Well, there is a self-biasing, and I have heard from very prominent researchers in the hallucinogenic research community that were surprised by the overwhelming amount of content and the quality of the content. What is interesting to me, is when new research about HPPD is published and none of this history is included. It is almost as if the only research on the topic was selected by the researcher to validate their point. Well, I read the papers. I paid $35 for a lot, and admittedly thank you to my two sponsors and the MANY sponsors over the years that kept and still keep the web site up. I have finished what I needed to do before I could dedicate my life to HPPD, and so I invite you to a 40 minute video of me just clicking around at some of my links, showing the actual papers, using my mouse as my voice and pointing out passages that are tremendously interesting and it blows my already altered mind on how researchers are unable to use research services. PLEASE GO TO MY CHANNEL AND SUBSCRIBE. I have a place donated for me to live in my area to allow me to dedicate a day's work to HPPD research, web development and my personal withdrawal to lower my dose of klonopin. I will record this. I am sure it will horrify/entertain you or perhaps you can put a face to the web site and past comments and I will be honest about what is happening to me. This video is a FULL image of my desktop while I navigate through files. So, as I said you will see some personal things (nothing obscene, but I have no problem with anything you will see. I am not adding music, so you can feel the freedom to choose to look at different sections at your leisure. Just skip around. If you find something that you want to point out, then highlight and comment it on the actual channel. I NEED 1,000 SUBSCRIBERS. I have 32. If you want videos that will break down this information and include updates and opportunities to work together, then subscribe. Subscribers are hidden (unless you opt to let it be show. It also is not a channel that says anything about HPPD. It is my channel, and will have topics of perception. This video will contain simulators that you have never seen. I will show different types of visual snow. I will show you a sample of many of the papers that I have in my library. You will see articles from 1969 on HPPD that describe the symptoms in almost the exact way we do today. I will show a military research study. I will include related studies, hints at multiple biophysics studies I designed. You will see some links and bookmarks that I am not bothered by, so you have no "gotcha moments" in the comments. Papers covering all aspects of this disorder. Enjoy, fast forward, comment on a section time and ask a question. I will have more videos. I am so uplifted to see the positive videos about HPPD from individuals with this disorder, and also I am excited to see the positive momentum of the Visual Snow Community. Similarly, I am glad the work we did with Depersonalization and Derealization had an impact. What I did not want to do is tell you, "HPPD is this or that... We only have this much evidence..." or other surface level washing of the topic. This is my personal desktop. (Yes, I like writing music and flight simulators) 😜 This is what I have in my online drives. This is what exists. This does not include the many gigabytes of data from the hppdonline.com web site, but that is protected. Please subscribe. I have this checkmark, and it enables me at 1,000 subscribers to do much more with my channel. Typically, 100,000 subscribers require a verified account or celebrity. I guess having 1000's of pages with you name on it because of HPPDonline.com pages and publishing research or paying off my Google rep (jk) earned me this badge. It is time to get REAL serious about HPPD research. I have taken my vacation. I have read much of the new theories on HPPDOnline.com and I am so excited we are on the same page without talking to each other. We are looking farther than the GABA inhibitory system with the 5ht inputs and GABA outputs and looking at activation cells and the role of Dopamine. Functional structures and pharmacological observations. The first paper I was a primary researcher and author (and programmer and CEO of the non-profit that paid to host the research for Mount Sinai School of Medicine) has nearly 100 citations. It is a landmark characterization of the disorder and contributed to validation DPD/DR for the DSM-5. I have this designed for HPPD. You saw bits of it and the many revisions on my drive. I have updated more and I have completely re-hauled it. I will need help from the community. I am awful at raising money. I feel guilty for asking for money, even if that money is what will make this work. Unlike what many may believe, I would be homeless if it were not for my family's home. I have been a caretaker for a few years, and dealing with my ADHD symptoms that have been disabling for so many years. I am ready now. We are all definitely ready. I have never thought I would see the day there is TOO much information about HPPD on the Internet, but that much of it is garbage. I promised I would dedicate my life to this, and this is where I feel most energized. CLICK SUBSCRIBE! - David S. Kozin
  37. 1 point
    For me, it was to just try harder. Ages ago, when I would try to read a book, shapes would form around the text. The shapes would start to move around as well. In any case it made it very difficult to read. I forced myself to sit down and read every day. After a while the hallucinations went away as long as I was focused. As soon as I lose that focus, the hallucinations come back but at least I could read. Fast forward a number of decades and reading is easy. Fighting back and not giving up is what got me through.
  38. 1 point
    Yes! I used to have a terrible time with my blood pressure. It was all over the place. I bought an accurate BP kit ages ago. Sometimes it would be normal. Sometimes something as simple as a stressful thought could send it through the roof. At the doctor's office it was always really high. I've had my heart imaged twice because the doctor thought it was going to explode ( it was fine). So, for years it was a problem. What helped? (Here I go again), daily meditation practice. When I refused the BP meds, my doctor sent me to an eight week meditation training (evenings). I stuck with the practice and now my BP is fairly stable. Daily exercise has helped as well. I also think avoiding the industrial diet has helped too. I still have the issue to some extent, but it has mellowed considerably. Age has something to do with that.
  39. 1 point
    I've heard people say that benzos have a rebound affect with HPPD like they do for anxiety. So when people go cold turkey or lower their dosage (like you did) withdrawal symptoms kick in and everything gets temporarily worse. Maybe that's your problem, I suggest getting rid of your Xanax addiction.
  40. 1 point
    I used drugs during the 1970s. There were two messages. The message from the older generation was drugs would kill you or you would end up in jail. The message from the younger generation was that they were basically harmless. Both viewpoints were ill informed. Regarding productive lives, I'm nobody special. Just a regular Bozo making his way through "this" (whatever this is). I contracted hppd after taking psychedelics for six years. I managed to get through college, got married, raised two amazing kids (adults now), and have a profession that I enjoy. As I said, I'm nobody special but I never gave up. I picked goals and went after them one step at a time. Sometimes tiny little steps. All I'm saying is that it's possible to have a productive and happy life. Never give up, take small steps toward what you want to do do and who you want to be.
  41. 1 point
    I too used to take ridiculous doses but my drug was acid. Why did I do it? I just wanted to see what would happen I guess. Go deeper. We were also under the false impression that it was harmless. The handful of times I've smoked weed since I stopped dosing produced panic attacks and a scary psychedelic effect. My brain felt like it was being run by some alien software. Horrid! I think it's great that you reached out on this forum. You're not alone, there's a whole tribe of us who are dealing with this. Understand, there are people in this forum who life happy and productive lives. I've had this disorder my entire adult life but existence has been sweet. Welcome!
  42. 1 point
    Hi Harry,.. very sorry to her about your you mum dying, must be heart breaking. Stress is a huge factor in HPPD and grief is the worst stress you can get. As the grief slowly passes, the stress will too, which will help your dp/dr. I would chat to your business partner about having some time off, or at least lessen your hours. Dealing with your grief and mental health is the most important thing now. I'm sure something can be arranged, but you need to begin to talk about things with people near and dear to you (even if you don't mention hppd specifically). Are you trying any medication?
  43. 1 point
    Sertraline (Zoloft) and Mirtazapine gave me HPPD (mild) Everyone is different
  44. 1 point
    Hi my name is Thimón and i live in Holland. Ive had HPPD since almost half a year now. I cant fucking believe it now that i think about it. I got it from psilocybin (20 mg truffles and an extremely high dose of THC oil) and its combined with several (mental) health problems that where enworsened by the trip that brought about my HPPD. I have symptoms of bipolar disorder paired with psychotic tendencies (wich in retrospect i realized i actually have my entire life the trip only enworsened this) and overall decreased cognition, memory decline, decreased learning ability, decreased social abilities and anxiety. Its interesting because my HPPD wasnt set on by a predominantly negative trip. I had some negative visions of me killing myself but nothing i couldnt handle. Needless to say the trip wasnt predominantly good either, definitually not. The exact feeling i felt during this trip is very hard to describe because as people who have tripped you guys understand how the actual experience of psychedelics very much goes above our concieveble dimension of communication. It really makes it hard to describe how i feel. It kind of felt like i was drifting into a black hole of non dualistic being everytime i closed my eyes but everything i did i just could not give in to it. Wich is weird because at this point in my life i had build up such a strong psychological ground for myself where i was in the mind state of being able to underthrow myself to whatever way life would choose to present itself but somehow in this trip i couldnt. And it didnt have to do with letting go of my ego, like i said i was in a place where i could underthrew myself to whatever and face everything that it was that life presented to me. I had worked through all my social and mental problems in life and was in a constant state of underthrewing myself to every possible way of self development id come across. I went home well 14 hours into the trip when i noticed it still wasnt over. I layed down in my bed and felt that black hole feeling creep in once more. After hours of laying around constantly reopening my eyes because i couldnt give in to the feeling i finally fell asleep. Next day at work i noticed the sensations of the trip where still there, especially the visuals. It was in the following days my above mentioned symptoms started to become clear to me. The effect and dosage range of virtually all substances (from weed to supplements) changed and chronic anxiety kicked in shattering my social skills wich i worked for years to get to the point wich i had gotten them to. The folllowing days where honestly the darkest days of my life encountering deppression like i have never known before. Psychotic thoughts of my collegues at work conspiring against me, severe derealization and overall suicidality because i felt like i would never be the same again. But there came a point where i decided that there was only two things i could do. I could either face and confront everything that i was going through or end it right there and then. A life dwelling in regret of the past is no life at all. Ive bassically overcome derealization realizing its brought on by self induced anxiety based thought patterns. Im doing extensive research on the curing of bipolar disorder and psychotic symptoms and my bipolar is slowly healing and with the right mental patterns and dietary supplements my psychotic symptoms are greatly deminishing and im sure that when all the pieces of my health puzzle come together i can beat them completely. Ive come to realize that coping with virtually anything in life is all about the way you percieve it and respond to it mentally. Our brains are an extroardinary piece of biology and with the right attitude and strengthening the right neural pathways by encouriging constructive thoughts and behaviors we can conquer virtually any obstacle that presents itself. I think i speak for anyone when i say that our present state is only a snapshot of one point in our development. From every point in the present on we have a choice between stagnation and development and its up to us to choose the one we take. If we choose to be in constant self development then one day we will look back at our current state and realize that through whatever obstacle we face it is always within ourself to overcome them even when the outcome might not be exactly how we envision it to be. I always say to myself the words "Nothing is a factor." The experience of our conciousness is shaped by the interpretation we give it. I think that instead of living in constant anticipation for a possible cure its more important to try and optimalize your current state instead of waiting for a possible outcome in the future. If we choose to limit our experience of this temporary materialization of concious life emerging between two incomprehendable eternities then that is exactly what your one chance at the experience of life will be: limited. Overcoming these obstacles is within us. Just my thoughts on the most horrific experience and at the same time most learnfull experience of my life. 5/6 months in and my progression is far beyond anything i could have possibly percieved since the on set in September 2018. Im not there yet but im getting there. Its only up from here. If anyone wants to talk about their issues or experiences, ill be here. Greetings, Thimón
  45. 1 point
    @Jagermeister I dont see the spinners anymore, my visual snow is the same and I’m having tinnitus. Im sure i’m a little better than when it started. thanks for asking
  46. 1 point
    Curious if anybody's heard some of Michael Pollan's interviews for his new book on psychedelics, and if so what your opinion is. Here's a good interview he did for Fresh Air: https://www.npr.org/programs/fresh-air/2018/05/15/611301978/fresh-air-for-may-15-2018-michael-pollan-on-the-new-science-of-psychedelics?showDate=2018-05-15 I've long subscribed to the glutamate toxicity theory as has been mentioned above, however I've always remained open to other ideas if they made sense. The only thing I feel pretty comfortable saying is that HPPD is the result of axon damage or death to some degree across multiple areas of the brain, likely in the limbic system and likely in connection with the parasympathetic or sympathetic nervous system. I think which nervous system is damaged depends on how the damage occurred, however. For example, excitotoxicity would likely affect the sympathetic given fight or flight is stimulatory while a stroke of some kind would be parasympathetic. One thing I find interesting in listening to Pollan's interviews is his repeated mentioning of the Default Mode Network (DMN) and how during psychedelic trips it basically goes offline. Depersonalization symptoms are essentially the result of a malfunctioning or nonexistant DMN and given the connection between DP and HPPD it's not too far of a jump to suggest HPPD is the result of a damaged DMN or simply one that never reboots due to lost connections or damaged axons. Many parts of the brain are connected through lengthy axons and I'm wondering if during the downregulation of the DMN when bloodflow decreases some of these axons are damaged via stroke of some kind. Also, with regards to glutamate, one of the biggest triggers for excess glutamate inside the brain is inflammation. If you eat a diet high in bread (wheat being the most inflammatory food known to man), oils and other inflammatory foods (essentially the standard American and Westernized diets) then your chances of having some sort of autoimmunity sky rocket. I also don't think we should entirely rule out the hypothesis that HPPD could be the result of our brains attacking our own brains after the ingestion of drugs which could very well mimic invaders our brains are already used to attacking.
  47. 1 point
    I've seen some threads on this forum decompose into insults and shouting matches. We all have opinions, perspectives, experiences, and information we've obtained from various sources. If someone posts something you don't agree with, pisses you off, or seems like misinformation, please reply in a constructive and courteous manner. Before you post, think about what you might say if you were talking to the person face to face, and don't forget to be kind. We're all struggling with a difficult disorder. Remember, we all have the goal of being well. Let's help each other get there. Thank you.
  48. 1 point
    Another lesser known symptom, though others have mentioned it.... I used to get very horrific CEVs, like scenes from hell. Death, mutliation, rape etc I stopped watching any porn, horror movies etc and that seems to have fixed it.
  49. 1 point
    I had no prob reading on my phone but now the letters look weird . Also pictures look worse . I was starting to see pics a bit better?This is just such a horrible disease. I hope ur right and that it will go back to its previous state . Btw I got visual snow syndrome from ssri's but pretty much the same shit as hppd . Both drug induced.
  50. 1 point
    In November 2011, I used an African root bark in an attempt to cure the depersonalizations and derealization I had developed one month earlier. I had no idea what was happening to my brain at the time I developed dp/dr. I had been reading about ibogaine as a treatment for depression for a few months prior to developing dp/dr, and had considered it for that purpose as well as a predisposition for addiction which I feared succumbing to after a long battle as a teenager. Two months leading up to the dp/dr, I had been undergoing extreme stress and lack of sleep. One day it just hit me, like flipping a switch, and I was never the same again. I decided to attempt to solve my problems by flying to Mexico to use ibogaine. Rather than experiencing any of the intended effects, the experience resulted in what I feel to be severe and traumatic brain damage. Traumatic does not begin to describe the magnitude of this experience. It put me into a permanent state of hell. My symptoms were a feeling that my brain was being tasered, a sense that a high voltage of electricity was jolting through the neurons and synapses, an urge I could barely resist the urge to find the nearest precipice to jump off because my brain felt as if it were on fire. I felt as though I wanted to jump out of my skin or run screaming through the streets out of terror and in an attempt to make the fire in my brain stop. Anything to make it stop. My vision was jumpy, the colors were weird shades of green and yellow, it seemed as though I was looking out at the world from the inside of a murky algae filled fishbowl, and I felt very drunk from the sensation of ataxia. At night, my eyes saw spider webs as well as the rest of those symptoms. Although the extreme visuals and drunk sensation toned down somewhat, the rest persisted for approximately seven months until I was prescribed Lamictal in July 2012. I had gone through a laundry list of medications that worsened my symptoms, but the Lamictal offered the first glimmer of hope. I could feel a tiny reduction in the insane frenetic energy in my brain, and that has continued with each dosage increase. I'm now at 725 mg with a target dose of 800 mg. It has been an unfathomable nightmare, and Lamictal truly saved my life; however it has not by any means cured me. I still live with intense dp/dr, but the experience is bearable. At night or when I am tired, the sense I am on a hallucinogenic drug rears it's ugly head. My brain often feels jumbled, and the sense of connectedness to my loved ones is compromised. It's an existence I would never wish on anyone, but I keep going because I have three children that need a mother in their life, and because I refuse to give up hope that I may get better. The hope that someday I might feel a modicum of joy in my life is something I refuse to give up on. I posted on dpselfhelp for awhile and found it helped to connect with people who we're going through dp/dr as well. I also wanted to warn people against the possibility of brain damage from using ibogaine because there were some people considering using it for the same purpose I did. One young woman did choose to use it and ended up with many of the same symptoms I did. She corresponded with me for awhile but then suddenly stopped. I felt great concern she might have harmed herself or tried to end her life as she was considering that. I hope she did not give up and retained hope. There is always hope. I did know the feeling of suicidal ideation though. For many months, I felt a overwhelming urge to choose to end my life as well. I resisted because I knew I could not do that to my children. I had never heard of hppd, but eventually learned about it and knew instantly that was what I was experiencing. Before that, the only thing I could relate to, other than an extreme version of dp/dr, were the symptoms commonly associated with some traumatic brain injuries. I met a guy who had fallen off some high scaffolding while doing construction work. He spent some time in a coma, and his family had been told that he likely would never come out of it, but he miraculously did. Needless to say, his life has never been the same. He lives in a daily hell from his brain injury. When he described his symptoms, I could relate to so many of them. In reading many posts on this website, I feel a sense of connectedness to all of you, and I am very encouraged that we are fighting this fight together with so many who have also refused to give up hope. I'm also hoping to get some advice and feedback on treatments that have worked for people with similar symptoms to my own. I'm wondering about the possibility of getting alleviation from symptoms by trying Sinemet and/or Keppra as I've read some positive things about those drugs on this site. Any feedback would be very welcome. Thanks for taking the time to read my post, and I wish all of you healing and the hope of someday reclaiming our lives.
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