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Showing content with the highest reputation since 02/18/2018 in Posts

  1. 2 points
    -My grandmother died October 13. We were close. -Nov 3, quit cigarettes, got on Nicorette spray. Quit nicotine November 15. -November 20, start drinking coffee all day every day, too lethargic from quitting smoking and felt like I had a constant dopamine deficiency. -HPPD got so much worse after quitting smoking. It's been 3 months, no urges or cravings to smoke whatsoever. Images got worse and became more body-centric. I'll see my ribcage in my head, my stomach, feel weird and trippy sensations. -I'll fluctuate between feeling horrible for a week or two to feeling 70-80%, one day I felt 90-95. The fluctuation and plateauing is worrying me. I just want to get better and stay at a constant 80%. I could live the rest of my life comfortably at 80%. -Sleep schedule the past 2 weeks has been insane. Staying up all day and night, and the next day to fix it. Staying up for 2 days straight. Getting 4 hours, 6, 12, 4, 6, 4, you get the picture. I feel when I'm at a consistent week at 8 hours a night I'll feel better. -Fixing my diet because I have GERD. Eating less, better, cut out sugar. -Attempting NoFap. -Applying to jobs. Looking for something that I can handle. ******** My life is still very, very stressful and there's a lot of family stuff going on that I didn't mention. I feel like if a lot of this external stress diminished my symptoms would get better. Sometimes I feel like I need a 3rd party perspective because I can't see all the issues at once. Hope you guys are doing alright.
  2. 2 points
    I posted an article a while back about Robert Sapolsky and there might be some relevant information in there pertaining to this subject. You can find that whole post here: http://hppdonline.com/topic/5604-article-on-robert-sapolsky-stress-the-brain-etc/#comment-35473 The biggest thing with all this seems to be how much stress you were under prior to, during and after your inciting incident that gave you HPPD. It seems anxiety is the real killer in all this as it completely compromises your brain's ability to fight off disease and heal properly after injury. Here's a good quote from the article above on this topic: "The hippocampus is the most glutamate using part of the brain. This is so because learning and memory are so vital to survival that this excitoneurotransmitter is used liberally in this area. The energy crisis to the neurons created by excess glucocorticoids means the neuron doesn’t have adequate energy for reuptake of calcium and glutamate. It is through this lack of cleanup that these chemicals hang around longer; thus increasing calcium release into the cytoplasm, which produces enzymes that increase free radical damage to the cytoskeletal membrane of the cell, thereby bringing about cell death or apoptosis. To protect themselves from excitotoxin damage the neurons produce adenosine, GABA, taurine, heat shock proteins, antioxidants, feedback inhibition of Ca++ flow and increase glucose and lactate uptake to improve energy levels of the neurons. However glucocorticoids interfere with these defense mechanisms also." As Dasitmane says, if HPPD is cell death of some sort whether you recover depends largely on how much damage occurred in the first place. If it was merely the dendrites then you can surely rebuild, but if the cell body itself suffers then you're less likely to experience regrowth. But again, much of this depends on the type of drug, how much, anxiety, proper recovery, where in the brain or body the damage occurs, etc. I think it's safe to say that as long as you refrain from doing drugs again, live a healthy lifestyle, eliminate stress and do all the things necessary to promote growth inside your body that you give yourself an excellent chance at a near or complete recovery. I know in my case I've had all kinds of health issues after getting HPPD (everything from benzo withdrawals to anxiety to sugar addiction to thyroid issues to digestive complications to depression, heartbreak, you name it) and yet I've never had any major setbacks that I haven't been able to recover from. It's the exact same theory as trimming a plant or a flower: If you just clip the buds or part of the stalk it will grow back again and again, but if you start damaging the root then you risk killing it for good. In this same vein, nature knows which direction to move for a reason. Flora grow towards the sun due to photosynthesis and dendrites grow towards other dendrites for neurochemical benefits. I think the idea they would grow back and have no idea where to grow or connect to doesn't make a lot of sense, but this is just my opinion on the matter and I could be dead wrong. A few more paragraphs on this topic: "For our growth, development, health and fulfillment we need stimulation rich environments...what this stimulation amounts to would differ between us monkeys...some would like more toys, others more playmates, others would want a bigger playground etc... Big Fun is an attempt to generate more stimulating conditions in which growth is possible. Our brains form a million new connections for every second of our lives, revealing the huge importance of our everyday experiences in making our brains what they are. Boredom makes us stupid--the richness of our environment affects our brain structure. With a more stimulating environment our brains develop denser neuron growth and increase the amount of certain synaptic proteins that the brain uses to relay messages between neurons... When it comes to brainpower they say you either use it or lose it. Fred Gage of the Salk Institute for Biological Studies studied the hippocampus, a brain region involved in learning and memory and skills and found that activation of NMDA receptors affects the survival of brain cells. This study in mice suggests that the survival of newly formed adult brain cells depends on the amount of input they receive, via NMDA receptors - proteins that sit on the surface of brain cells and help them communicate with each other, suggesting that communication is essential for neuron survival. http://www.newscient...-job-to-do.html... This suggests that our interpersonal world, (how well we bond and communicate with others, whether we are repressed and if we easily forgive or hold grudges,) might also have a parallel in how well our own neurons communicate with each other and thereby impact the lifespan of those neurons. This resilience of neurons that communicate well with each other might also be key in how we each respond differently to stress and PTSD. Brains that are repressed or weak in self-communication might be more vulnerable to the effects of glucocorticoids and to neuron damage in general."
  3. 2 points
    The non profit is up and running. Starting a seperate post with clinical tirals and donate information. Took me long enough but I'm a persistent bastard. www.neurogroup.org
  4. 2 points
    I'm off all my HPPD symptoms! Cross eye does still exists but I don't get headaches anymore so I can easily ignore it. How's it going with you guys?!
  5. 2 points
    I thought i'd start a topic where we can all contribute ways we have made our lives a little better (non medicinal). Get healthy and sober This is the obvious one... quitting drugs, stimulants like coffee, smoking etc.... Then eating healthily and working out really do help alot. Forget the past It is easy to get caught up in a spiral of guilt, anger and jealousy about your current situation. Why did I do drugs? Why did I get hppd? Why are my friends ok? Like all the mistakes and regrets in life... learn from it and move on (not easy, I know). These emotions will just feed the anxiety and hppd. Change your life hppd is at it's worst when we are stressed. It is impossible to avoid all stress, but do what you can to change your lifestyle for the better. If you hate your job, try and change it.... If you hate the city, move out. If your friends don't seem to support you, move on (the real friends will let you back in, when you're ready). These are big, life changing decisions... but hppd doesn't have to stop you making them. Grab your life back hppd can strip you of your ability to do the simplest tasks in life. Retrain yourself to do these tasks. If making eye contact is tripping you out, just slowly do it a little more each day... The more you do it, the more normal it will become. Same goes for all sorts of things... making small talk, going out and about, chatting to someone you are hot for. Your life isn't over This is a key thing to remember. The 1st months and years can be very, very tough... But life goes on. There are numerous people on here that have gone on to have successful educations, careers, relationships and families. hppd is not the end of your life, your dreams or your happiness.
  6. 2 points
    The question is not random at all. It is a great one. (I am going to speak to those without significant DP/DR, but the individuals that have lasting altered perceptual disturbances that at least in the early part of the disorder result in significant distress.) I started talking on the original forum in 1998. I was less than a year into the disorder, and happy that somehow found a name for it (Thanks to the old HPPD board by Andrew). So, I know there are many who have had HPPD for 40+ years like MadDoc above. I can say that the vast majority of them have adapted to the symptoms, and some of us *cough* may be better off with HPPD having affected out lives vs. death or the other few awful outcomes that accompany substance abuse. How are the Visual symptoms? Do I still have the same visual symptoms? Generally, the symptoms do reduce with time. I do take clonazepam, but admittedly I am unable to honestly say if it has caused me more trouble than if I had not started taking it. I think there is a place for benzodiazepines, and a meta-analytical look at posts on this message board could yield an interesting paper or an easily designed research project could shed light on some empirical data on this question. For me, it was the thick static (a severity that I saw figures and cartoons in the spinning pinwheels of the static when I closed my eyes) that prevented me from driving at night and my night vision made looking at the sky impossible and all but the brightest stars and planets would be distinguishable. The purple afterimages at night would take over my vision if I stared off into space. It would be followed by a neon green "veins" in the shape similar or = to Kluver shapes. I can tell you that during times when I did not have access to Klonopin, the anxiety and body feelings are far worse than the visuals, but the visuals are worse as I would expect because in a withdrawal the brain has not had a chance to adapt to the normal receptors. However, my vision would only be an issue at times it would be for any person with or without HPPD when they would be more aware of their vision (e.g. driving at night on a two-lane road with oncoming lights, staying up too long or looking through a telescope. Excessive glare.) my symptoms have not changed. Truthfully, they are worse, but (NO PANIC) I am certain they are the result of my vision actually getting worse and I need glasses. But, I have been putting off going to get my eyes checked. Iff in one month I haven't made the appointment and can report to anyone about it, please call me out on it. Right now, I have trouble with street signs, reading text close up and my vision was impossible to determine a "number" when I was last tested in 2004 because of the visual issues, and I make sure to take my medication before getting my eyes tested for when driving (and at least I pass these for now). (I have a lot to say, so I will try and stay on topic the best I can, but you wil get more than you asked as a result.) Perception of our environment is one of the strangest and most interesting parts of PSYCHOLOGY that I know. I can go a few days without my symptoms becoming a thought that reaches my conscious awareness. So, did I see haloes, walls move, and other visuals during those few days? I would say I saw them just as much as I was consciously aware of the birds chirping around me (they do all the time, but how often do you notice them?) that I had absolutely no real recollection of. We can attend to only so many things, so if I am having sex then I can tell you with 100% certainty that at this point I don't think about HPPD during or after! When I am writing on this message board, I can write for a few hours and talk about the symptoms but not be occupied by my own. However, just as I can now -- I look away at the wall and I see the monitor after image, the wall is moving upwards, everything is still in ghosted vision, Haloes and afterimages follow everything I see -- have these visuals they do not cause me distress. I am more concerned for those who are going to get HPPD and for the individuals who received it only after a few uses and for the people where other disorders interact with the mechanisms of HPPD to make it more difficult to accept that I am my own. In general, I know people in almost every class of profession and life but notably, none are jet pilots or dentists and also not aware of any of us being a military sniper, and these others where perfect eye-sight is required are doing very well in their lives. When they are not, the cause is usually linked to anxiety and depression that exist with HPPD and experiences of depersonalization or the visuals staying distressful can be an issue without addressing the other disorders. I have ADHD (which is finally getting research to support it as a biological brain disease, so I don't need to validate it but I am 38, have 4 papers in medical journals but live in my family's basement) which is the reason I have been gone so long. I designed the PHP front-end and MySQL backend for the Depersonalization research with Dr. Simeon in a hyperfocused binge and I designed and published research because either I was illicitly taking or finally prescribed Adderall to provide me the ability to complete a task). I also have a "lasting disorder" but it is "cured" which is my right leg's tibia (shin) had a complete spiral fracture and fibula broken like twigs and I almost required amputation, but instead, they used a scalpel to start a 25cm or so cut along my calf and then used surgical scissors and cut through my fascia to prevent compartment syndrome, put a rod through my knee cap down to my ankle and screwed my leg together and I had to wear a wound vacuum 24/7 for 4 or so months until the wound reduced dramatically in size (three times a week I would have the sponge changed by specialists) and then I could get a skin graft to be the fine leg they saved. I was very lucky. However, It causes awful restless leg symptoms (all of the little nerves slowly coming back, and a lot of feeling still doesn't exist on that area of the skin that is a giant scar) and standing for a day will cause me to feel like my knee is locking up, I can't go up and down stairs without using my arms in that case and I have to rest for a day (I can manage the pain if I am not moving, but if it gets too bad I do take tramadol and I will take it to sleep). Before this, I was taking 10-20mg Oxycodone every4-6 hours including when I would suddenly awake as it wore off. Eventually, I asked to step down and I am only telling this story because I am an Addict, and telling your doctor to reduce your narcotics is something I am proud of. However, I am still taking a combination of meds that we were reducing in small steps (until my father was diagnosed with brain cancer and so far we haven't decided it is good to rock the boat) that a substance abuser would consider a dream to have each month: d-Amphetamine, Clonazepam, Tramadol but I can promise my opinion of these are completely different. Do I still forget my keys and it has been over 2 months and I have yet to get a replacement to my driverse license I lost somewhere? Yes. However, I did keep excellent records and cared for my sick father in a way that I managed his medications, condition where nobody would have said I was inattentive. It is just how my brain attends to things, so like HPPD it is part of my biological situation (but we can learn to adapt and even take advantage of some of the things. If hearing 1000+ stories from people with HPPD makes me an expert on the topic, then I can tell just from your last sentence tells you already understand our best defense. Humans are generally very resilient and adapt to a lot of weird conditions. I will may not have daily leg pain, but I still have a titanium rod and I wouldn't try competition cycling, and I can't finish a book until I started taking meds so I can function in our world and did I overcome ADHD? I am getting closer, but as my psychiatrist said, "Your brain is special. That is all you will get for my diagnosis on you. I fill out numbers for your insurance." So, in my opinion, you are going to do fine. Very early on, about 1 year into it I was going to stop looking for my own cure and worrying if it will go away, and it enabled me the freedom to study it and observe it without excessive bias towards seeking a magic bullet cure and be realistic about what the challenge will be. Your only real limit is not landing jets on aircraft carriers at night. - dk
  7. 1 point
    I'm here to bring you hope. After 4 years, my dp/dr has almost completely gone. Anxiety is gone. I'm fighting with depression (because I've lost lot of time and have family problems.) and OCD. I'm good, because, before HPPD, I wasn't so good either. I mean, of course I wish I hadn't had hppd, but I wasn'tt a particularly mentally healthy boy before I had my HDPD. Take care and cheers.
  8. 1 point
    Hi. It Will get easyer with time.. i have hppd from weed AS Well and Ive had it for 1 year now. I also have dpdr. Do u also have that or just hppd?
  9. 1 point
    It will definitely improve. The fact that your episode was induced by Cannabis would lead me to believe that you will probably recover better since its not such a hard hitting compound neurologically speaking. To say how much youll improve no one here will be able to tell you. You will have to wait that out and see. Definitely do not try and smoke weed or any other drugs even if it improves.
  10. 1 point
    Hi all. I am 60... HPPD came on me at age 12. That makes 48 years! I still have all the symptoms though they do not seem as strong depending on several factors like sleep deprivation, caffeine, diet,environment and stress. Just recently experienced the de-realization moments that is the worst symptom of HPPD for me. I was tired and stressed. I do not use any pharmaceuticals for this. Maybe they have discovered remedy's but I sure am not too willing to take anything that affects my mind. In my own case I have learned to maintain and live around my altered perceptions. I just gravitate towards a natural quiet way of life. I believe drugs of the mind altering kind assault the endocrine system by too much stimuli in the form of colors, trails, pulsating, floaters,snow, noise etc...a plain white wall is never boring! Somehow the brain learns to filter past these symptoms and cut through to a norm. At least this is in my experience, however, if I focus on the symptoms, I will find myself "tripping". 🌼
  11. 1 point
    I’ve had several TBIs in my life and found that Hyperbaric Oxygen Chamber Therapy was beneficial. The treatment didn’t seem to do much to put a dent in HPPD though. That being said, I do believe brain damage may have something to do with this disorder. I’m particularly reminded of a guy who was trying to acquire nsi-189 for carbon monoxide induced brain injury. If he had said he had taken hallucinogens I would have said he had one of the worst cases of hppd I’ve seen. So many similarities. That’s a scary thought—but it doesn’t mean it can’t be managed or even essentially corrected. I’ve had experiences with the right combination of supplements and medications where I was happier and cognitively sharper than even before I got hppd. Unfortunately, in the past I’ve gotten complacent when I’ve felt better and screwed myself up by trying something I shouldn’t thinking I’m “normal again”. Good news is, longevety research is all about regrowing the brain. We’ll see some major breakthroughs in our lifetime that I have no doubt will benefit those with hppd.
  12. 1 point
    Did you only dose that one time? If so it's possible that your symptoms will start to fade over time. Try not to focus on it too much if possible. Try to focus on your life, school, work, hobbies relationships, etc. In other words, keep focused. I can't stress enough that staying away from drugs including weed is a good idea. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
  13. 1 point
    One day I decided to drop acid I think sometime around July of last year. It was my first time doing any drug besides marijuana or alcohol. I got he LSD and I dropped around lunch time. I didn't feel it for about 1 and a half hours, so I took another tab. I looked for all the signs of fake acid, it wasn't acidic in taste at all, so I concluded it should be safe. I have never heard of HPPD or visual snow before taking acid, so I wasn't concerned about that. I started to trip and it was super fun, until my anxiety turned it into a bad trip. I was able to calm down and went to bed around 12/1am. The next morning I went to work out and I saw the visual snow. At first I thought it was just the LSD still in my system, so I tried to ignore it. A couple days later it was still there and I freaked out. I looked up after affects of LSD and found out that HPPD was probably what I had. I tried to research cures and treatments but there was nothing that could actually cure it. So I went to an eye doctor and they said my vision was 20/20, and that HPPD wasn't necessarily an eye problem but rather a brain phenomenon. So I went to get an MRI, and they said everything looked normal. I felt very uneasy, because my thoughts were racing through my head and my anxiety went through the roof. I started overthinking everything and I worried if the HPPD would get worse, and perhaps I would go blind. I learned to ignore it and live with it for a couple months, until I started to have trouble sleeping. I started to take melatonin, but I would get weird dreams and headaches. Initially I thought it was the new medication I was taking for my anxiety (Hydroxyzine). I stopped taking melatonin and Hydroxyzine within the next couple of days. Several days later I woke up and I saw swirly visual disturbances, and I thought I was having an LSD flashback. I was spaced out for a good 10 minutes. It felt like I was having minor LSD hallucinations, some indescribable. I told my psychologist about this and she said that my HPPD and anxiety worked together in some fashion. To explain further, she said that my anxiety created the symptoms of HPPD, the visual snow in particular. My psychologist suggested that I see and psychiatrist, to further evaluate my anxiety, HPPD, etc. The doctor ended up prescribing me a new medication for anxiety, Buspirone (BusPar is discontinued). It had helped with my anxiety a lot, but no change in HPPD/Visual Snow. I hope to find some help/hope on this forum, hopefully some type of success in cure or medication will be discovered.
  14. 1 point
    Oh yeah, there is no way I’m touching any of that stuff ever again. Not even weed for a really long time if ever again. Alcohol actually stopped giving me anxiety a couple months ago. My reaction to it is normal now for sure. I think I took a good knock from acid and have taken some good lessons from it, but enough is enough and I have no intention of risking my sanity for one more trip. I’m working with an integrative/functional medicine doctor to restore my body to homeostasis n such
  15. 1 point
    I should to look for them, but I've done it and the results came back good. Nothing was wrong. Just my 2 cents.
  16. 1 point
    Got an MRI done after going to an eye doctor for HPPD/Visual Snow. Came back completely normal. From the extensive research I've donet I'm pretty sure that HPPD/Visual Snow is a serotonin disorder/chemical disorder, nothing in the plain brain that one could potentially see in an MRI.
  17. 1 point
    Glutamate, GABA and acetylcholine are the three neurotransmitters that have come up time and time again in my Google searches based on my symptoms either improving or worsening. I made a post about glutamate a while back here: http://hppdonline.com/topic/5453-glutamate/#comment-34490 And one about the category of vegetables called nightshades, which are anticholinergic, which you can find here: http://hppdonline.com/topic/5431-nightshades/#comment-34336 I also made one about caffeine and its inhibitory affect on GABA: http://hppdonline.com/topic/5371-negative-reaction-to-caffeine/#comment-33944 All these categories of foods make my symptoms worse. If these transmitters are the fuel for the interneurons of the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems then it only makes sense that the foods they're found in have an enormous effect on HPPD symptoms. One area of interest I'm increasingly warming to is the vagus nerve, which controls parasympathetic nervous system function. The vagus nerve runs to many different parts of the body and specifically controls stomach function, which I've had terrible problems with recently. A diet high in sugar can damage the vagus nerve and cause damage to the blood vessels that carry oxygen and nutrients to the nerves. Well, I've had a very high sugar diet over the course of the last year as well as prediabetes due to an under-active thyroid (also connected to the vagus nerve) and all of a sudden my visual symptoms have gotten increasingly worse. In the past I've had symptom flare ups due to diet (mostly caffeine and nightshades), however once my stomach problems began my visual symptoms have gotten significantly worse and stayed that way 24-7. The vagus nerve controls exhalation, which I find interesting considering I had a very difficult time laughing when I first got HPPD. It was as if I couldn't breathe or exhale properly. This has improved over time but I thought it was really strange at first. It would make sense if my vagus nerve was damaged that I couldn't exhale properly, as laughing is a strictly exhaling activity. I know tinnitus is a commonly shared symptom for many of us. There is a connection between the vagus nerve here as well, as shown in this study where stimulation of the vagus nerve resulted in decreased tinnitus: http://www.utdallas.edu/news/2011/1/13-8021_Findings-Show-Promise-in-Battle-Against-Tinnitus_article.html I can't remember where I posted it but my first introduction to the vagus nerve was through this article, which links it to depersonalization -- another shared HPPD symptom -- and provides ways to stimulate it: https://www.selfhacked.com/blog/28-ways-to-stimulate-your-vagus-nerve-and-all-you-need-to-know-about-it/
  18. 1 point
    So recently K. B. Fante brought to my attention the possibilities of the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system being involved. And after some discussion, thought, and contacting Dr. Abraham, its pretty clear that Dr. Abraham must not have meant the interneurons in the brain, but rather the interneurons of the spinal column. I dont have the initial report from Dr. Abraham's commentary that I had found in a book involving toxicological pathologies, but ill try to find it. He basically expressed that the interneurons are believed to play a critical role, a lot being that they are highly involved in GABA and glutamate release. This would have a direct modulation on the parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous system, nay, it seems to be one of the primary regulating components. From Wiki, spinal interneurons https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinal_interneuron Neurotransmitter The sensory information that is transmitted to the spinal cord is modulated by a complex network of excitatory and ihibitoryinterneurons. Different neurotransmitters are released from different interneurons, but the two most common neurotransmitters are GABA, the primary inhibitory neurotransmitter and glutamate, the primary excitatoryneurotransmitter.[9][10] Acetylcholine is a neurotransmitter that often activates interneurons by binding to a receptor on the membrane.[11] One of the things that Dr. Abraham mentions is that this may be why GABA agonists(benzos) are beneficial. We might have our guys. The best part about this is they are located in the CNS spinal column, which means there will be no scar tissue, AND they are primarily grey matter neurons, which means short axons and densely populated neurons, giving room for possible regeneration. It would also explain the anxiety in HPPD, related to the sympathetic nervous system that K. B. Fante noted. And would explain why brain MRIs come back for the most part, normal. I dont know of anyone that has had spinal MRIs that have HPPD.... Also it lines up with the study that I think I posted, but did find that relates specifically to interneurons being excited by 5ht2a receptors, aka hallucinogenic use.
  19. 1 point
    It just says that I have a relatively shallow Pituitary Gland of 3 - 4 mm. From what I read about the Pituitary Gland, it seems to be involved in some processes which could be relevant for my condition. But tbh I got the MRI results from the lab and then I didn't consult with the psychiatrist again, so I don't know if that could be important.
  20. 1 point
    My WML may also be due to coke and amphetimine use over several years. It is important to consider that initial reports on my MRI were normal with no significant findings. Had to get them looked at again by another neurologist with experience of our condition
  21. 1 point
    This is interesting to me. In my amateur Google research I've come back to the occipital lobe time and time again. It'd be interesting if more people posted results as we could possibly find a connection here...
  22. 1 point
    Mine came back all clear, this was around 20 years ago though... Will chat to my doctor about doing another
  23. 1 point
    White matter lesions in deep parts of brain . Around 10 in number and all less than a millimetre. Unlikely to be direct cause of visual symptoms and more likely due to migraines suffered over many years. One side of the visual part of brain, the occipital lobe, was marginally smaller than the other. Smaller side also had changes in QEEG. Possible implication is that blood flow to this part of brain was affected at some point and may be connected to visual symptoms.
  24. 1 point
    Just try and calmly talk it through when you are both sober. See if he has any visual issues and if the trippy feeling is still with him. Just let him know you are there for him and not judging or angry.
  25. 1 point
  26. 1 point
    Kinda like how I replied to Jason, I think anxiety is the worst part because with no anxiety hppd decreases. Anytime you stress your self put hppd will multiply, visual symptoms as well as if you have the dreadful secondary depersonalization/derealinization. When you feel the water go down your leg, remember that your sober. Than remember that yes you may feel these sensations right now but they will fade away and co me back and fade away, and one day it will bearly be noticeable. You'll have to stay calm and if it's talking to mom, calling grandma or playing video games, watching a funny cartoon anything you can to take your mind off it and make yourself HAPPY (without any drugs even weed) will make you recover faster. Try spending time outside, in the light stay away from the dark as much as you can as it seems to be a blank canvas to trip on and start enjoying your life. Hppd does not have to take over brother, you'll be happy and okay one day and look back and see that hppd may have done the opposite, it could have cleaned you up and changed you for the better, if you start excersizeing, eating good, not using any drugs, and bettering yourself than a year down the road you're recovered.... it's not always a terrible thing. Good luck k with your recovery feel free to message me anytime
  27. 1 point
    I don't think you need to worry about stuff like this. I've been scrolling this forum for years and have read plenty of posts from years past yet I've never come across anyone who's had symptoms worsen from vaccines or any other standard medical practices really. Just as long as you stay away from drugs I think you're OK.
  28. 1 point
    I don't know when I actually aquired hppd because once I started dosing there was rarely a week that went by that I didn't dose. I had some suspicious symptoms after my first dose so let's say it started there. That's roughly 45 years ago. However, I didn't realize it wasn't going away until I stopped dosing. That was roughly 39 years ago. I'm saying all this because I have a simple message. Even though I have this disability, life is wonderful and I feel like every day I get to live is a gift. I've always felt that checking out wasn't an option. Life with hppd can be difficult but we have this incredible opportunity to experience life. We're the matter that woke up to experience whatever "this" is. I realize I've said this before, but I thought it might be worth repeating.
  29. 1 point
    It's ok to be scared. But try not to focus on your symptoms too much. Doing so can make them seem worse than they are. The best thing to do is do not take any psychoactive drugs and that includes cannabis. For many with this disorder cannabis greatly amplifies the symptoms. It gives me panic attacks as well. You didn't mention how often or how many times you've dosed. A good rule of thumb is "the fewer the better". Don't panic, take care of yourself, stay sober, and stay focused. There's a good chance your symptoms will start to fade. Give it time.
  30. 1 point
    Pretty much puts the nail in the coffin for me at this point. We know have numerous studies showing proof of cell death from multiple hallucinogens. Now how we get this information to the general public is the real question... I don't get why the 5htp2a receptor needs to be activated in order for the cell death to occur though. That's serotonin, correct?
  31. 1 point
    "Life is suffering." G. Buddha, 2500 years ago
  32. 1 point
    So the the non profit is up and running. As the title suggests "Aggressive Advocacy", I managed to assemble a brilliant team of research scientists willing to investigate HPPD and formed a non profit. It's official, the NNRF is a 501c3. Please donate. www.neurogroup.org
  33. 1 point
    So I found my 4, we have an attorney filing our non profit status, new website is up, needs some minor edits but we are making progress. Wish it wasn't taking so long...