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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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Showing content with the highest reputation since 08/22/2018 in Posts

  1. 2 points
    It's a bit like trying to cure a gunshot wound by firing another round into it. I've tripped post hppd and it made my visuals worse.
  2. 2 points
    Delucid is a complete moron. I wouldn’t listen to him and it seems like he is trolling. Thanks for opening up. I thin you should let your family know if they will be understanding, that way you will have help if you need someone there for you. The only reason really to see a doctor is if you feel like you need benzos which is typical if you experience terrible anxiety as a symptom. Other than that there is nothing they can do for you. Lemon balm in my experience was a decent supplement to help with the anxiety.
  3. 2 points
    Interesting post, I remember a similar post a while ago, but never as well researched. It certainly works for me in the very short term, but i'd never thought of trying long periods over months. Something I will now be trying. Onemorestep raises a good point about trying this in VR. Having complete immersion could be really helpful. I will research if this is available, if not... I will try to make a 360 video to try.
  4. 1 point
    I thought i'd start a topic where we can all contribute ways we have made our lives a little better (non medicinal). Get healthy and sober This is the obvious one... quitting drugs, stimulants like coffee, smoking etc.... Then eating healthily and working out really do help alot. Forget the past It is easy to get caught up in a spiral of guilt, anger and jealousy about your current situation. Why did I do drugs? Why did I get hppd? Why are my friends ok? Like all the mistakes and regrets in life... learn from it and move on (not easy, I know). These emotions will just feed the anxiety and hppd. Change your life hppd is at it's worst when we are stressed. It is impossible to avoid all stress, but do what you can to change your lifestyle for the better. If you hate your job, try and change it.... If you hate the city, move out. If your friends don't seem to support you, move on (the real friends will let you back in, when you're ready). These are big, life changing decisions... but hppd doesn't have to stop you making them. Grab your life back hppd can strip you of your ability to do the simplest tasks in life. Retrain yourself to do these tasks. If making eye contact is tripping you out, just slowly do it a little more each day... The more you do it, the more normal it will become. Same goes for all sorts of things... making small talk, going out and about, chatting to someone you are hot for. Your life isn't over This is a key thing to remember. The 1st months and years can be very, very tough... But life goes on. There are numerous people on here that have gone on to have successful educations, careers, relationships and families. hppd is not the end of your life, your dreams or your happiness.
  5. 1 point
  6. 1 point
  7. 1 point
    Hello, I'm sorry to hear what you are going through but know that there is always hope! First of all you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, know yourself and know your body and listen to them; sounds like you already are. Sobriety in my opinion is the best option, plus you are very young and the body/mind are resilient. Give it time, relax if possible and be as healthy as you can to aid in your recovery. I have found consistent sleep, regular exercise and a balanced diet all help. Like you said it will be slow, you might not even notice changes but it will get easier; find what works for you and keep doing it. We are here for your support; take care and good luck. Remember one day at a time.
  8. 1 point
    Welcome to the board... You are still in the early days of hppd, so there is every chance you will start to see a recovery, especially as you were quick to go sober. My personal opinion is not to rush into the meds and just get used to hppd and find your baseline. If nothing has changed in 3-6 months, then maybe start exploring meds... Just my 2 cents All the best, Jay
  9. 1 point
    Dizziness can be due to an inner ear problem or some other physical issue that can be identified. Your dizziness may have nothing to do with mushrooms or MJ. As I'm sure you're aware, panic atracks aren't uncommon with the hybrid bud available today. I mean 20 percent plus THC? Yikes! The stuff we had back in the early 70s was 2-4 percent and even that could send a soul into a tailspin. Go to the doctor and get the dizziness checked out. To combat other symptoms, avoid any psychoactive recreation and you might level out after a while.
  10. 1 point
    i've had it for 23 years now too... more than possible and sadly, there are people here who are in the 40+ years club. Here's my medication regime... Not a cure, but quite the band aid! I use a 4 days on, 3 days off benzo treatment with 10 days off every 2 months to further clean the system. It has worked for 10 years now, without any sign of tolerance or withdrawal: Lorazepam (2.5mg) - Thursday 6pm Clonazepam (1mg) - Friday 9am Clonazepam (1mg) - Saturday 9am Lorazepam (2.5mg) - Sunday 9am
  11. 1 point
    Hello people . I’m new to this website and idk how active it is here but I just wanted to tell my story as short as possible. I first started taking LSD at age 16. At age 18 I had my last LSD trip. Not knowing it was going to be my last. That last trip was different. It wasn’t bad or it wasn’t good . It was different. But that same day I had smoked once it started to go away. And I was driving and all of a sudden I lost connection to reality . It was scary. And I didn’t know what it was . A week later I had this flashback. And it tripped me out. That night I woke up at 3 am in the morning to thunder and rain . When I woke up I felt scared. I thought I was feeling that way cause of the thunder. I’m a painter and I have this painting of a fish I did on my wall. I remember looking at it and it looked different . I got out of bed and I went to the bathroom and I saw myself in the mirror and I just felt very very off . And I knew something wasn’t right . I was fucking terrified. I went to my parents room and took a shower in a bathroom they had in they’re room. I remember showering and all the thoughts going thru my head . I felt as if I wasn’t in reality same time I knew this had to do something with my constant taking of LSD. I got out and I slept in my parents room on the floor. I was a 18 year old. Sleeping in my parents room cause I was tripping bad . I had to . My little brother was already sleeping on the floor so I slept near him literally grabbing on to his foot while sleeping cause I needed to feel like I had someone normal connected to me so I can stay sane. I didn’t say anything about what I was feeling. Idk how but I fell asleep . I woke up the next morning and that was day one of HPPD. Everything was different . Everything. My life flipped...... that was a year ago. October 28, 2016. And till this day I still have it . It has its ups and downs . And my answer to it is to stay bright, stay sharp, love yourself and love others. Keep yourself busy and please stay sober. Spread the word.
  12. 1 point
    Perhaps you could visit the doctor, describe your symptoms, but don't go into the fact that you dosed. Some of the symptoms you describe might have nothing to do with psychedelics. Tests can rule out other potential issues. As for drinking and meeting people, some of the nicest and kindest people people I've ever met were sober by nature. Something to ponder.
  13. 1 point
    Thank you for posting. First off, I'm not a doctor or an expert in hppd. I'm just an older person who has had it for a long time. A lot of people have panic attacks from smoking weed. The weed that's available today is SO powerful. It's no surprise that you experienced anxiety from it. I know people who have smoked for decades who won't touch what's available today. Fortunately, you've decided to give MJ a rest. The symptoms may simply be indicators that you're susceptible to hppd. I honestly can't tell for sure. Many of the visual anomolies you describe could be caused by eye fatigue or common eye abnormalities. Us humans don't always perceive "reality" just exactly perfect. Old people like to tell stories, let me describe what I deal with. If I stare at anything, floors, ceilings, trees, clouds, within a few seconds they start transforming into patterns, animal, Aztec glyphs, etc. If I keep staring they start to move and sometimes the colors start to shift. I've had this disorder for almost 40 years. HPPD for sure. People in here describe derealiazation and anxiety that is truly debilitating. Some describe hppd as being on a low dose of acid all the time. Is this the kind of thing you're experiencing? As I said, I can't tell if you have hppd, early hppd symptoms, or if you don't have it at all. My gut feeling is that you don't have hppd. Please understand I'm not trying to minimize what you're dealing with. Anxiety is no joke but, unfortunately, it is part of the human experience in a world that can't seem to rest. This is what I would suggest. Continue to stay clear of psychoactive drugs like MJ, acid, etc. Focus on the things that interest you and that give you joy. Why do I say this? When I'm focused I don't have hallucinations. Staying focused and reaching for goals in life is what saved this psychedelic wreck. Even if you have some early hppd symptoms, and you stay clean, I'll bet life will work out fine and those symptoms will improve. Myself, and others with severe symptoms have careers, raise families, and have found great joy in life. Hang in there and take care of yourself. I hope that helps.
  14. 1 point
    The best advice I can give would be to stay away from drugs. I know it will be hard going to school but you really don't want to make your HPPD any worse. Your symptoms don't appear to be too bad but if you continue drug use they'll likely worsen. If you feel you have to drink then just try and limit it to a beer or two when you're going out. Also, get in a good exercise routine, stay busy and eat healthy when possible. There's lots of great advice on this forum so if I were you I'd read through as many of the posts as you can.
  15. 1 point
    Hello, I hope you are well. I contracted HPPD about 8 years ago from acid had a period of abstinence in which it almost entirely went away with the exception of the occasional 'flare up' usually when I was feeling anxious. I then had a period of 7 strong mushroom trips in about 7 weeks that seem to have brought it back to some extent so i am stopping psychedelics for now. I too am very interested in their mechanisms, applications and pretty much everything about them. However they CAN induce a detachment from reality which scares the shit out of me. Life is amazing and for a time psychedelics made me feel this in a deeper fashion however there were breaking points where I felt like I wasn't myself, detached from everything and everybody. This is not where I want to be. Be careful. My advice would be to take a long beak and see if things get better. Exercise, sleep and meditation are excellent tools to use to get out of the funk. It sounds like you just have visual distortions and not DP/DR; I think that's a much more manageable situation than what a lot of other people are facing. Quit while you're ahead before you lose your sense of self and place in this world. Also I think that it can lay 'dormant' within your brain, in which it is susceptible to reactivation. The moral being if you think you're 'healed' and go back to tripping the previous effects can come roaring back. I have gained a lot from psychedelics however I paid some prices, I think that for a while I was deceived into thinking that they were the answer. I really don't think they are the answer to anything. They do allow you to see beyond yourself and feel/know there's something greater than you out there, that we are all one and love is paramount to everything. However, these conclusions and facts exist independent of drugs and can be realized through meditation and mindfulness. There's a great quote from Allan Watts about the use of psychedelics "...when you get the message you should hang up the phone" Anyway I wish you the best of luck, take care.
  16. 1 point
    I started dosing young, just prior to my 14th birthday. I went through some rough and stressful years after I stopped when I was 20. You said "May we all find happiness again". After heavy dosing for six years, I didn't think I could be happy again. The chemicals that kept me fueled through my teens were no longer working and I realized that I had done some damage to my mind. It took some years of hard work, but I found happiness again. There's nothing special about me. I'm just an average human, but now I'm happy. It took focused effort, setting goals and not giving up. I think the hardest part was realizing that because I'm human, I'm flawed, but now I'm OK with that. I guess what I'm trying to say is that happiness is attainable even when you're in a dark place. One step at a time, stumble, get back up and try again. Take care.
  17. 1 point
    Hi peeps, some of you may remember I was posting on here about a year ago.. Last post was probably 6 months ago now.. In my last post I said that "it" had started to decline and I was feeling ALOT better, not really noticing anything on a day to day basis.. So for those who dont know, I had serious HPPD for about 2 years following a lifetime of recreational drug use not to go into to much detail.. Had many symptoms, flares in my vision, movement, colidascope mesh type shit.. paranoia, etc etc... Very dark time... Nothing I would of acted upon but almost suicidal moments... "Oh my god I have fucked the rest of my life" was generally my first waking thought... So, basically I know the drill... Reading through these posts on here and the support people gave me really helped and I wanted to post some news on how things have changed... Basically im am FULLY recovered... Im sorry to say I cant give any definitive conclusion on how this came to be... But as I mentioned in my last post meditation was VERY helpful to me and I still practice it daily. On the whole I am glad I lived through the experience.. It was terrible at the time, I remember that, but the strange thing is I cant really remember how I felt when I had it really badly... I can but its like a bad dentist experience.. You remember it was unpleasant but you dont actually remember the pain.. What I would say is it made me wiser, and calmer, and made me appreciate the the fragile nature of the mind... BUT most importantly it reminded me YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT LIES AHEAD.... If someone could have told me, 2 years from now you will be chilling blazing a big spliff and all that will be a distant memory I would of been fine but alot of the suffering i endured was worry.... "I am going to go completely insane" " will it ever stop".... I know many have not been as lucky as me and I feel for them greatly, but dont ever think you can not recover.. Because you can!!!!!!!!!! Many reports I read said if it last more than a few months you will have it for life etc etc... Well thats not true either... At least not in my case... So to conclude... All those suffering I hope this brings you some hope and inspiration... As I said I dont know what aided my recovery.. But, the things I did do which I feel helped, were MEDITATION!!! Very helpful....Also.... Adrenaline!!!! I do track days and motor sports and I remember even when it was at it worst I never had any symptoms while racing... So... Maybe... The natural endorphins and concentration and adrenaline are beneficial... I know not every one can go racing but some kind of extreme sport or anything that gets you adrenaline going and makes you happy.. Other thing is lay off the weed... I do smoke again now but I stopped for the best part of 2 years and I wish I had not started again, not because it brings on symptoms but just because stopping made me realize how much time i spent on the x box smoking weed eating crisps.. But hey.... Oh and this also helped...Ignore the silly video, just the song.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vW867TrVHA
  18. 1 point
    https://www.technologyreview.com/s/411201/detecting-subtle-brain-injuries/ pretty good article explaining the lack of precision for white matter damage in MRIs.
  19. 1 point
    @Onemorestep am just on keppra now. Im going to hold off on posting any threads, and stay on keppra for a full year. So far after 1 month and 1000mg split twice daily I've noticed a drastic decrease in DP/DR and about a 30% improvement in visual snow and visual symptoms. Increasing to 1500mg daily tomorrow. Im going to stay on just keppra for a full year, fingers crossed a year of this can cure my hppd, as my symptoms are already hugely improved. 😊
  20. 1 point
    That is WILD. i just tried it and while the effect only lasted about 15 seconds, I saw the world without static for the first time in years. It looked so crisp. Thank you you so much for sharing this. I’m going to be honest—I never really thought much about my visual snow when it started a few years ago. I had much more extreme problems to deal with that it seemed a small thought. I’d say that I just got used to it. But seeing the world again like that. As a photography enthusiast, I would love to be able to see the world crisp like that all the time. It would be such a relief... ... now we have to see if I can dedicate that kind of time. have you ever tried setting this up with VR?
  21. 1 point
    I'm unfortunately only new to this entire experience, having been experiencing after-images for about three months now. Prior to this, I'd been depressed over other vision problems cause by laser eye surgery (don't ever get it done by the way - the risks are not worth it). For me, as I had been trying to sort out my life after the laser, I had already developed some support mechanisms for my problematic vision. It was just a stroke of misfortune that brought me more visual problems - the snakes in life are always around, no matter how many you kill. Luckily, the support mechanisms I had been developing for my problematic eyesight already existed. Some of these have been helpful in dealing with my new HPPD-related vision problems: Psychotherapy. My psychologist is great - she has a great understanding of the theory in her field and applies it magnificently. She is also very smart and understanding, often putting pieces together that I would never have been able to arrange. Psychiatry. I'm not sure if this has helped or not, but I've been on Lexapro for six months. I'm wondering whether this could have contributed to the development of my HPPD, but for now my medications are at least available to help lighten the load of negative emotion. Mindfulness Meditation. I was told by another psychiatrist to start looking into this, and it's been one of the most important changes I've made in my life. It has helped reduce my anxiety - even more than CBT did. I would recommend that you give this a try using the Headspace app to encourage daily practice and for an accessible introduction to the practice. Journaling. I've recently begun doing this and have enjoyed it immensely. Journaling has been around for centuries, and it's no wonder - it helps you articulate and better understand your thoughts and feelings. Give it a try - buy yourself a nice book to write in, and set aside 10-15 mins each night to just write about your day. Don't hold back, and don't write for anybody other than yourself. There is no right and wrong, just write without editing. It's a very liberating feeling. These are some of my strategies so far. I hope they can be of some use to anyone else here. Facing the struggles of life doesn't necessarily mean getting rid of them, it means getting stronger so that you can tolerate them. Remember that each day you make it through is another victory for you to be proud of.
  22. 1 point
    This is so interesting, especially considering I've been basically pushing this theory -- right or wrong -- the last few months. The way Dr. Teichberg explains it is exactly what I've been envisioning could happen -- again, right or wrong. The fact is, no matter if you have HPPD, DP or VS there are a few common bonds that absolutely cannot be ignored: 1) Anxiety. It's far too common to dismiss. It's not like a few people with HPPD and VS have anxiety -- it's the vast majority, far more than is common in the general population. 2) Trigger. Though there are reports of people who's VS symptoms come on slowly, these seem to be in the minority. In general people with HPPD, VS and DP have some form of incident (panic attacks) or agent (often times drugs) that acts as the damaging factor in giving them their condition. There is a clear before and after. 3) Healing. While some people do not "recover" it appears a vast number of people make their way back to a state of normalcy by a process of healthy living. Sometimes it takes many years, but what can't be denied is that a clear recovery is taking place. When you consider all of these factors I just can't get past the idea that we aren't experiencing some form of cerebral injury. I really firmly believe accepting this fact will go a long way in bringing about change to this community of sufferers. We are not people who are imagining these symptoms. We are not crazy. We were not always mildly schizophrenic and then became full-blown mad as the result of a few drugs. I really believe we have suffered some form of an injury and that what we're dealing with is far more neurological than a commonly cited DSM condition. If I leave one mark on this site and on this condition I really hope that this is it.
  23. 1 point
    I've changed my life from vegetarian to vegan. Not only because of hppd but for many other reasons as well. But somehow the drug experiences gave me the kick in the ass, so to speak. I am also more happy to be alive now. The world is beautiful, if you take a close look. In my opinion we just get a chance to have a closer look at this planet. People who never experienced this hppd-stuff don't know how lucky they are. Is it luck? I don't know, but their life seems easier. I don't think compelety negatively about hppd, but it is annyoing over time. Great idea to have a thread like this, btw. Your suggestions are good but hard to follow. But I will give it a try to change even more :-)
  24. 1 point
    Great idea Jay. Yeah number 2 is really tough. Keeping busy so you don't have time to dwell on it definitely helps.
  25. 1 point
    Number 2 is particularly hard...........
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