1 pointHi guys, so I was a heavy weed smoker for at least a year and micro dosed LSD once and enjoyed it, then a couple months later at the end of this July I tripped for the first time and had an anxiety filled trip, I wasn't seeing bad things and can remember good parts of it but I also remember feeling like the world wasn't real, and not wanting to do anything and thinking that I would be stuck in a bad trip forver. In the weeks after I was extremely uncomfortable and feeling so much anxiety because I still felt like I was tripping, slightly. Visual snow, feeling disconnected, and I took a small amount of Valium to continue life, then my father who caused me PTSD from alcoholism had a traumatic brain injury 1 week after the acid trip, and since then it feels like I have been experiencing many of the symptoms on here. Increased visual snow, floaters, especially when looking at a bright light, suicidal thoughts, feeling like the world wasn't real. I've seen many psychiatrists and have been on Klonopin for panic attacks that I thought were related to my father and PTSD, and they started me on Zoloft(ssri) which I thought was causing the insane thoughts. I even went to the hospital convinced I was schizophrenic and no one has mentioned hppd to me. I just don't know what to do and am hoping someone on here can give me some answers because I'm scared I threw my life away because i tripped one time and I don't feel like I could raise a family and continue life into my 70's with these symptoms. Since the trip I have stopped all substance use, and everything but I know tons of people who have done many hallucinogens including my brother and have had none of these symptoms. How do I tell my mom I messed myself up forever? I'm scared to start junior year of college tomorrow
1 pointImo, ssri, snri and anti psychotic are just as bad as recreational drugs when it comes to hppd. There's very few known drugs that have helped people in regards to hppd but I'm sure you already know them. Stay off the pills tho for sure. If you can manage life without the dependency of benzos and other drugs(including recreational) then I believe you have a chance of completely recovering one day. Just try to accept it that this is your life and try to live with it. That may not seem like the greatest advice but it's realistic and doesn't mean you shouldn't be hopeful because it can very well go away. If you do feel lonely sometimes if you have a Facebook page join the hppd page, there's like 1700 people in it. Pretty nice people. But some say the less you think about hppd the better it is for you. I kinda agree. Take a magnesium supplement like magnesium oxide or citrate, stuff does wonders for your anxiety and vs
1 pointI feel like the symptoms of anxiety,depression,derealization and depersonalization are a matter of us dealing with our condition and how we respond to it and the emotions we attach to it. Honestly, I feel like the best way to get better from HPPD is to accept the fact that yes you may have visuals but this is NOT the end of the world. You have to do things like meditation, wim hof breathing, weight lift, exercise. If you continue to believe that you're going to have anxiety and depression for the rest of your life due to a past decision, you have to ABSOLUTELY get over this destructive thought pattern. Guys, the mind is an extremely powerful thing. We can either use it as a tool for our own advantage or as a means of self destruction. STOP the negative thought patterns, eliminate the cortisol rush's from anxiety and take control of your life! Never feel sorry for yourself and never ever go into the bitter regretful mindset. This will just absolutely lead you down a dark path. Cheers, hope everyone gets better.