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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

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Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/21/2015 in all areas

  1. 2 points
    I have the option of trying Ayahuasca soon. There is a guide and everything. My HPPD is at an all time low. My closed eye visuals are barely noticable, the worst thing is this out of body feeling and bad nerves which I think is DP/DR. My friend has a positive feeling, but I`m a bit worried. I´ve had some stressful trips before but nothing that put me over the top. Any views? Thanks..!
  2. 1 point
    It's a long poll, but I guess it can help identifying possible dispositions / risk factors for HPPD. I know that there are people on this forum who never did drugs before, yet they have some of these symptoms. I think it's important to identify if these are warning signs for the possibilty of developing HPPD. I didn't see any polls like this on the forum, sorry if this was done before. Now that I think about it, I had most of these signs before what I consider as the onset of my HPPD. I had floaters, vivid CEVS and excessive paredolias since I was a child. (and some others but they were occasional and mild) I even have drawings of the things I saw on wood, marble or other textured surfaces. Also, I don't remember if I actually saw them, but most of my paintings from my childhood have trees with bright multicolored auras around them. Everyone thought that I was a gifted painter back then... I was 13 years old when I first smoke pot. On my 14th birthday, I smoked some strong weed and had a full-blown psychedelic trip. It was a lot more intense then most of my later trips with LSD. At one point my vision was completely blocked by vivid patterns, which reminded me of the carpets in my grandma's house, and a photo of my brother as a baby somehow. After that night, I occasionally saw the same patterns when I smoked, but when I try to draw them they change constantly. Started experimenting with psychedelics at 15, got hppd at 22 after a terrible shroom trip. I was already struggling with severe depression (and possibly PTSD) before that. Weird thing is, it seems like my creativity has been diminished after psychedelics, and I somehow lost the CEVs and paredolias after getting full HPPD. My mother's side have some history of mental disorders. Phobias and major depression in mum, my uncle was hospitalised one because of a brief psychotic episode after his divorce. my elder brother has been diagnosed with many things since his childhood (dyslexia, adhd, bipolar...)
  3. 1 point
    I'm so sorry for the novel... I had a recurrence of HPPD starting ~ 4-5 months ago from what I assume was pot or stress or alcohol. Mainly worsening afterimages, trails, photophobia, and headaches. I have been taking an SSRI for 15 years or more (Paxil 15 mg daily - which is a tiny dose). I have been avoiding alcohol and adding loads of supplements and eating relatively healthy. Despite al of this, my anxiety and depression have worsened so I was advised to increase my Paxil to 20 mg daily. I did so despite so many peoples, claims that it may worsen symptoms. That was 2 weeks ago. I went on a vacation this weekend for a wedding. While on it, I drank pretty steadily for 3 days. While there, my symptoms seemed dulled (prob from alcohol and distraction). I didn't have any problems with worsening of symptoms while there. When I returned, however, I had very poor sleep due to a delayed flight. I went to sleep and was awakened to a full blown flashback. I had CEVs of morphing 3d plants made of black and white swirling circles. I freaked out and when I opened my eyes, my tails and afterimages were amplified by like 50x. I got them off everything and they lasted for a very long time. I discounted it as being due to sleep deprivation and maybe the alcohol while on the trip, and figured it was a one time event. When I woke up 2 hours later, the CEVs had gone and the visuals were improved but not gone. I went through the day essentially at my new baseline since the recurrence. I went home after work and planned on getting a good night sleep. I went to bed at a reasonable time. Alas, last night, at about 1 am, I had the exact same CEVs and heightened afterimages and trails. By this point, I was terrified that my symptoms were going to stay this way; that this was a sign of a progression of the disorder due to alcohol or maybe the SSRI. Again, I woke up and say for a few minutes and the symptoms started to lessen. When I woke his morning, my baseline seemed back. Throughout the day today, my afterimages seem more noticeable. I get a complimentary color off of everything with a color on white background. My question is this: do you, from your experiences, think this is due to alcohol consumption? If so, have you heard people get a permanent increase in symptoms from alcohol?? Otherwise, do you think this is due to my increase in SSRI 2 weeks ago?? I would think the SSRI would cause immediate increase in visuals if it were going to do so. Also, in the past, SSRIs never aggravates my visuals. I am terrified as you an tell. I fear my condition is going to continue progressing. I tell myself I will end my life if it continues to worsen. That's why I went on the SSRI increased dose in the first place. Thanks for your time.
  4. 1 point
    Hi Guys, looking for some brain chemistry knowledge here pertaining to my HPPD and what's causing the problem to continue. I wrote a detailed post describing my first triggering moment which you can find here (http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/4106-bad-ecstasy-experience-terrible-damage/) Since then, I've realized how important a role sex and orgasm is to my problem. One thing I realized was that I actually had sex just BEFORE taking the pill. And, now I'm wondering, was the flood of neurochemicals already in circulation responsible for the hyper-reaction I had on it? In other words, because I had just provoked a flood of chemicals in my brain (i.e. dopamine) by having sex, did I punish my receptors by adding the pill in right after? What could this have done to the receptors? What's really stunning, is now I can see how when I have an orgasm through masturbation or sex, I have a worsening of my symptoms for days following. The provoked reaction is 20x worse if I have TWO orgasms in the same day. So I now limit myself to no more than one orgasm a day and now go more days in between cause I feel much better. Also, I've tried a couple of supplements that are initially a HUGE help to me. They are Bilberry, Dandelion Root and Wobenzyme. I can feel instant relief from these supplements in almost all areas of my symptoms (except for visual distortions), but everything else is wonderful. However, after a day off the supplements, my prior symptoms of muscle tightness, fatigue, shooting pains, mood swings, paleness, etc... come back 10x worse than they were before I take the supplement As you can see, that means I can't continue to take them. However, I'm wondering now if the major flare-up reaction I'm having to these supplements is caused by having an orgasm WHILE I'm on them. So, I'm thinking that the supplement is doing something to my nervous system, perhaps blocking a certain receptor or something, and I have an orgasm, causing an extra flood of some kind of chemical thats getting backed up in my brain and when the supplement wheres off, I have a ton of chemicals floating around in hyper-mode.. Or something like this, can you see where I'm trying to go with this? I know there is some connection with Cortisol. Because, I took Finasteride (Propecia the hair loss drug) and had full resolution of my symptoms, but do to side effects I had to stop. And, I learned that blocking 5-a reductase is a way of curbing cortisol. I've also read of others who have something called POIS (Post Orgasmic Illness Syndrome). But, no one mentions visual snow and palinopsia like me. I'm unique in that my palinopsia is getting better and is actually a direct measure of how bad my other symptoms are. So, as that improves, I feel better. But, I've been battling a 6 year flare-up caused by what I now believe is having multiple orgasms in one day while using opiates and Flonase. It might sound strange to think Flonase could cause me issues, but its action works on the a-adrenergic receptors, and this causes some kind of response to my nervous system that it does not like at all. OK, can anyone maybe throw in some thoughts about the orgasm and brain chemicals, and perhaps how all of this is effecting my neurotransmitters. Maybe what I can do to curb this? Just want to mention again that Ecstasy and weed were the main culprits in starting all this, so I'm sure the dopaminergic/serotonin system is playing some role in this.
  5. 1 point
    I have had derealization for I don't remember how long. It sucks when I do fun things but it doesn't feel real and the memory was like a dream. I was just swimming with dolphins in Hawaii earlier today and i feel like I dreamed it. All of my memories are like this. Been in Hawaii for a week now and it all feels like a dream. I have also been suspecting that I have depersonalization after having 3 diphenhydramine trips 3 nights in a row starting on the 4th of July. Ever since the day after the 3rd trip, I been feeling little to no emotion except for 2 days after taking magnesium pills where I felt a new kind of depression that I never felt before but I can hardly feel anything but anger or slight sadness now. I have felt isolated from everyone since I started doing drugs a year and a half ago and I don't feel any kind of affection for my own family but I don't think that is part of depersonalization. I don't feel very exited about certain things the way I used to and I find it very hard to have empathy but I find it easier and easier to open up on this site
  6. 1 point
    I don't know if posting about every HPPD experience I am experiencing is bad for my HPPD but it seems to be getting worse or new symptoms show up, I been back from Hawaii for a few days now and since then, I have been seeing colors at night, been feeling nothing but anger and severe depression, lethargic, bad chest pains, panic attacks and severe brain fog. This could be due to me taking 400mg+ of diphenhydramine 3 nights in a row on 4th of July and the nights following but this just recently got very bad.
  7. 1 point
    Anyone else in this Facebook group ? https://m.facebook.com/groups/205125116272670?ref=bookmarks
  8. 1 point
    I got the cabergoline but I don't know if I'll take it...got to the doc he prescribed Pramipexole for me,which is an dopamine agonist,0,125mg 2x a day,so I think I'll be taking this only,not gonna rush things.
  9. 1 point
    Hey guys. Just another update since I've been on 1000mg x2 day for a month now. Really no negative side effects, except for maybe slightly more drowsy than I've always been. I pay $40 for a month and a half supply (without insurance), so don't plan on stopping. On average I'd say I have about a 35% reduction in symptoms of Brain Fog, Anxiety, and DP/DR - this varies day to day though and some days I feel completley normal. The days when I feel really shitty are few and far between. Haven't experienced a panic attack in months, when before it was a few times per month. Thinking and focus is definitley more clear and overall, I just feel more comfotable in my own body. Also, I take Klonopin 3x a week (anywhere between .5-1.5mg, depending on the situation(s) of the day). On these days I would say I'm 70% back to my normal self. Also worth mentioning I drink a few times a week (usually 3-4 drinks) and still smoke weed on occasion (maybe 2-3 times a month). As for visuals, they're still there if I look for them but not bothersome. As I've told many of my friends, I feel like I'm coming out of a 4 year personal hell. That's all. In anything changes I'll be sure to let you know. Cheers, good luck, and try Keppra if you can!!
  10. 1 point
    Isnt missjes doing something like that now in brazil?
  11. 1 point
    I don´t think this advice is very good, but I may misunderstand your intention. Why are you promoting other drugs to me? None of you want to discuss the potential positive aspects of "entheogens", but since we have HPPD it seems like a moot point. I´d like to say that even if I got problems from them, I had some positive experiences but now my trips just seem like distant dreams. Psychedelics never made me religious but I have some belief that they can teach you something. But I got scared of them and I´m not sure if I will ever do them again, even if I made this post. The Iboga session is in September so I have time to decide. OK, so you got HPPD and you hate psychedelics now, but you cannot deny that there may be a use for them in a medical way. Yes, it´s risky even if it´s done in a "safe set and setting" but you can abuse benzos as well. I´m still not sure but thanks for your replies all.
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