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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/08/2015 in all areas

  1. 1 point
    I originally found this site a number of years ago. I was so emotional when I finally found a diagnosis for problems that have plagued me since I was 16 years old. The following is my story which I have on hand for anyone that will listen.......... I am an American living in Spain for the past 20 years. Around 12 or more years ago, I stumbled upon information about HPPD. I am self-diagnosed. I am currently in Tampa, FL waiting to get into a Veterans Dusl-Diagnosis program. When I first found out that there was a label for what hell I had been through, I soon found out that getting diagnosed with HPPD would be a daunting task. Before coming to the States this time (have been in the States since April 2 - Tampa since April 15). While sorting through my papers (another daunting task for me) I came across something I wrote 9 years ago. Here it is: Intro-HPPD.txt I have had HPPD since I was 16 years old, after taking LSD many times, my first trip being at the age of 12 or 13. I began having multiple flashbacks. One day, after smoking marijuana (unlaced) with a friend, I was walking home by myself. As I walked up a hill, my body was going up the hill, but my mind was sinking into a pit (hell). As I approached the main highway at the top of the hill, I had full-on LSD symptoms, and a dire feeling of no returning from this. When I got home, I asked my mom, "Mom, am I in hell?". She responded, "Did you take drugs?". Like I said, I was no stranger to brief flashbacks, but this was totally different. I knew that I was in hell, and my mother really wasn't my mother, along with everyone else in this hell. From that point on I had visual/auditory hallucinations 24 hours a day, and also the sense of tripping. I became so paranoid that I left home and later joined the Army. It only got worse, and I began seeing a psychiatrist who put me on Thorazine. When I went oversees I stopped taking Thorazine. I did manage to serve 2 of my 3 year enlistment. I tried to lead as much of a normal life as possible. I was deathly afraid of sharing my experiences with anyone, even my closest friend, my wife. I self-medicated during this time with alcohol and drugs. The label of being a paranoid schizophrenic has stuck with until this day. I sought help from psychiatrists and doctors, and was either labeled an alcoholic or drug addict with schizophrenia. Needless to say, I have been through many hospital stays, and the professionals are skeptic, at least. I am 52 now, and while on the internet in Spain, I found a site about HPPD. I cried when I finally had a diagnosis (self). I printed everything I could on HPPD and presented it to both psychologists/psychiatrists I was seeing in the Spanish Health Care System. They were less than receptive to something they had never heard of, and probably thought I was trying to get some benzos. They just don't have the time to research, and are very skeptical. Some of the main symptoms I have are, but not limited to - Visual snow Tinnitis (possibly age related or combination) Light retention/sensitivity Auras everywhere Objects seem to move Colors can be very dull or very intense and fluctuate Floating patterns with and without color DT/DP, etc. I am tired of getting nowhere and now find myself looking for help from someone that is open and understanding. I do not make these things up and wouldn't wish what I have been and am going through on anyone. END Last week I found a good article on HPPD from The New Yorker magazine. I decided to share it with my extended family, as I have shared with them personally after the above self-diagnosis. Even though they don't understand, they support me. The following is the link I shared and commented on verbatim on Facebook: I've had HPPD since I was 16..... in an out of shrink's offices, rehab, etc. Yet, after all this time, most mental health professionals have never heard of this condition. My hope is to shed some light to my friends and family of what I'm still experiencing at 61...... Hopefully, someone in the VA will listen to me this time...... http://www.newyorker.com/tech/elements/a-trip-that-doesnt-end I went into VA hospital in Tampa on Apr 23-30 for detox only.... I am now waiting for a telephone call from the VA... While in detox I once again tried Risperidone, with the same bad outcome. I feel like jumping out of my skin, and have little hope that doctors in the VA will actually diagnose me properly - and I know they will think that I am trying to get something for nothing. If I don't get real help this time, I'm not sure what will happen to me......
  2. 1 point
    So Selank was a fail for me. Thought I was using 1mg a day because the spray bottle I bought said it was roughly .1ml per spray but was more like .2ml per spray so I was using 2mg a day(10mg vial lasted only 5 days so this is verified). I went ahead and order the 120mg vial of Semax because I am tired of waiting on the 60mg vial. Semax is made by the same company that makes Selank. I ordered mine from Ceretropic.com. I also ordered some 28g x 1/2 syringes and plan on doing sub-q injections for a more accurate dosage. I will be dosing 1cc a day with each cc being a mg. I ordered today and expect it all to be here either Wednesday or Thursday. I ordered just 60 of the Afobazole tablets to just get my feet wet. I am going to start at just 1 tablet 2x a day until my work week is over and then I will bump it up to 1 table 3x a day since I will have about 4 days off until I have to return to work. I am doing it this way just incase there are side effects at least I won't have to deal with them at work. The Afobazole should be here tomorrow. Right now my biggest problem is dp/dr, anxiety, depression and cognitive problems. I also(almost certain) think I have anhedonia from years of drug abuse and esp from my opiate use esp the Suboxone. It seems my opioid receptors are so downregulated there is nothing I can do. I haven't taken any opioids in 2 months and last weekend I decided to take 3 hydrocodones(30mg) to see where I was at and I got nothing, just an itch but no mood lift or anything. Basically I just feel emotionless towards things but I do show emotion. I guess the best way to say it is I feel no enjoyment or pleasure in things. Only at work do I feel enjoyment and that is because I am competitive and am usually the better worker in the fab. So I will be looking for a decrease in anxiety, a mood lift, decrease in anhedonia, increased vigilance, improved memory, improved verbal fluency, improved memory recall(esp when put on the spot) and improved motivation. The Afobazole can take up to a month to really kick in so I will just report on that every few days if there are any improvements or side effects and the Semax should show instant signs of improvement so will report on this from day 1. I am also taking Piracetam, Aniracetam and Tianeptine. I am doing fairly well on keeping up with dosing and being consistent but do miss doses. I have fish oil I need to keep up with and also some Alpha-GPC I need to cap whenever I stop being lazy. Any questions or concerns? Feel free to shoot away. Thank you, Andrew
  3. 1 point
    Rosemary Tea Consumption Results To Anxiolytic- And Anti-Depressant-Like Behavior Of Adult Male Mice And Inhibits All Cerebral Area And Liver Cholinesterase Activity; Phytochemical Investigation And In Silico Studies - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25910439?dopt=Abstract
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