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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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  1. 2 points
    David, What you're proposing looks very similar to https://www.reddit.com/r/HPPD/ which i imagine is one of the big causes of the decline in activity on this site. The simple true is that Reddit and Facebook have all but replaced forums like this and for good reason. However, that doesn't mean this site is a lost cause. There is a wealth of data, tips, positive stores, and other advice that can be organized and presented in a more useful way. Instead of competing with Reddit and Facebook, make this site into a hub of fact based information on HPPD. Organize all the success stores and positive coping treatments into sections that are easy to read. Have a FAQ about HPPD that addresses the fears we see posted time and time again. Harvest the data from this site into useful and easy to read statistic and info-graphs. Work with the Reddit and Facebook communities and become a resource to them. Have a way for people to easily donate money or time into research. Volunteers could pour through the old forum posts to tag and organize the data. Get some developers to create tools so that people can easily simulate their visual problems and compare them to others. Parter with the Visual Snow initiative as a lot of our symptoms overlap with that condition. This website should become the authority on HPPD, not just another reddit clone.
  2. 1 point
    Good luck Marie, it is not a medicine I am aware of, but a quick wiki doesn't seem to show any red flags for hppd sufferers. Please keep us up to date with how things go!
  3. 1 point
    Hey guys, just wanted to drop in and post an update on my HPPD recovery... In another six months I'll have my five year anniversary of when I first got HPPD. I've posted every year on that day and I plan on doing so again in six months but something just triggered me to want to post now. Basically I'm updating a lot of stuff on my computer and I went through old notes I made when I first got HPPD. I hadn't read them in three years. It was surreal to see how far I've come. So much of my notes were about how painful life was each day, how I could barely make it through, how HPPD was like hell and how I thought of suicide constantly. I also had severe depersonalization which I wouldn't wish on anybody. I literally couldn't tell whether I was alive or not when I first got it. It was really bad. Though I'm not fully healed and still have minor symptoms of HPPD (mostly visual snow, occasional tinnitus, some afterimages at night, etc.) I'm also at the place in my recovery where I'm able to move on with my life, and that's truly a miraculous thing to say considering where I was even two years ago. This point I've arrived at is all I ever wanted when I was living in a 24-7, Alice-In-Wonderland hellscape of a constant lowgrade acid trip. I would have given anything to be where I'm at today. And yet, here I am, and it doesn't seem so special because HPPD takes so many years to heal from. As many of you know this disease is not something that just disappears overnight. It takes many years of backbreaking work to improve, but I'm proof that if you're willing to put in the work you can get to that place. If I could impart any advice on those who are suffering right now and don't have much hope I'd really emphasize the power of natural healing. The body is a healing machine. It's designed to repair itself at all times. The main hindrance is of course interfering with this process by causing your body even more damage than it can handle and our modern world is essentially a barrage of micro and macro insults to this repair system. My true healing journey began when I put down the fast food, spent countless hours in nature and in sunlight, always kept my body moving, nourished myself with natural foods and medicinal plants, embraced the power of love and took steps to face my own personal demons and confront my childhood trauma that manifested in the anxiety that got me HPPD in the first place. If you're at all stuck or just wondering how you go about navigating a healing journey I really hope you'll consider getting back in touch with nature and letting evolution do what it's been doing for billions of years on this planet. I don't mean for this to sound too woo woo but I just know it works because I tried everything and natural medicine in combination with time is the only thing that gave me actual results. Please stay hopeful if you're able. I understand as much as anyone how distressing and hopeless this disease can be so I'm not gonna lecture anyone on how they should see things, but I do believe there's almost always reason for hope with anything, even this bastard condition. If anyone needs help or advice or just someone to talk to please don't hesitate to reach out. -- K.B.
  4. 1 point
    Hello everyone! Hope everyone is doing well. Been wanting to make a post for months now but just haven't been able to find time. The main reasons for my post is to share my progress and share what my methods were for the progress in hopes that others can possibly benefit from the same treatments. With very little notoriety and/or profit for medical science HPPD gets very little to no coverage at all, so I hope this is something to help those who are destitute in this insufferable and most terrible disorder and condition which could be described by none other than the manifestation of hell itself. To start I just want to explain that at the beginning of my condition I could scarcely drink 1/4 - 1/2 a cup of 12 oz coffee, I would often just discard the rest, anything more would initiate massive anxiety and increases in other symptoms involved with HPPD. Now, however, things have changed! I didn't really have much progress after about a year, things stayed relatively the same. I would, however, like to share a photo of how much caffeine I can consume, and explain how much I do consume daily, as a proof of improvement, that I do attribute to a various degree of long term treatment that is available to everyone. [ Here you can see the maximum amount of caffeine that I can now consume daily if I choose, it will give me minor amounts of anxiety, but its not beyond what I can handle, where before I could come nothing close to this. Don't be confused either, the coke I can drink whole as well, and the coffee thermos is 24 oz.. This is no where near what I was capable of consuming before, and took about 2-3 years to accomplish. On average daily since this is a bit much for me, I only drink the 24oz coffee, which I make every morning, coupled with a few supplements that have a mild stimulant effect. I've even been able to take minor amounts of stimulants that I always enjoyed before my condition(all legal of course). Its been a long road. So, here I will share two herbs that may potentially help you, I don't claim that it will resolve all your symptoms all together, I do still have issues, but they are significantly decreased from what they were. I do believe that this is a neurological disorder, but I atop the two herbs to share in potentially assisting the progression of the suffering from this disease, I do also have a possible alternative to the diagnosis to this disorder after researching very significantly microbiology for other reasons not involved with HPPD. Tomorrow in my next post I will explain the two herbs, I want to elaborate more so on the other possible diagnosis involving microbiology which is a possibility and will tie in to the treatment for both possibilities involved which I think everyone will be somewhat intrigued about. I hope everyone the best and hope you're all hanging in there and doing your research trying to improve this condition. Tomorrow I will post more and for sure elaborate on this condition and the possible treatments. I would like to shout out to Jay, Hope, Kozin, dayum_son, and a few others too but its been a while and I'll have to look up the screen names. Sorry for anyone that has PM'd me and I haven't responded I haven't been on for a while but I will try to be on more. I also wanted to post old information which is basically a sum up of my old post that I typed up for someone in an email which will save me a lot of time than typing it again. In my next post I will make an alternative possible diagnosis that is far different from the foregoing. I want everyone to know too that you're the greatest even if everyone abandons and leaves you in your suffering. Keep fighting to save yourself and bare your infirmities with this terrible disease and I hope anyone that leaves or abandons you adjourns their due justice in the universal law of karma to the fullest extent and then some if God so feels it. I hope too that you're all relieved of this curse that destroys lives and that people will supplicate to the suffering of the nightmare that we live waking. I hope to help you all in the next post. My heart goes out to everyone with this condition. Stay strong. The actual etiology, though often argued, is most likely to be a form of excitotoxic apoptosis following glutamate receptor overstimulation. It could also include variable causes including neuronal hyperthermia due to the overstimulation. This is commonly neglected as a possibility in health, research, and media, due to the fact that in MRI studies of HPPD sufferers and hallucinogenic users there is no "notable" damage that can be perceived. However I was able to accumulate quite a lot of MRIs from actual HPPD sufferers and there is a decent yield for white matter hyperintensities, enough to be suspect for possible neuronal degeneration. The white matter lesions also appear to be long standing ruling out temporary axonal demyelination. Another point to be shown that it neuronal loss should not be ruled out is the obvious fact that MRIs are only subject to detecting larger unscattered masses of neuronal lost such as that found in blunt trauma victims and stroke victims etc, but unbeknownst to your average physician its incapable of showing minute scattered neuronal loss which can be seen in the link of this lithium overdose patent. Case Report A 45-year-old Mr. S presented with a history of altered sensorium for the past 2 days. The patient had a history of five episodes of mania and two episodes of depression in the last 15 years. Six weeks ago he had an episode of mania, for which he was treated at a tertiary care center as inpatient and given a tablet each of olanzapine 20 mg, lithium 900 mg, and chlorpromazine 300 mg daily. A week after he was discharged from the center, while still on regular medication, he developed coarse tremors affecting the whole body and was unable to walk. When he was brought to the Accident and Emergency Department of our hospital, he was afebrile and was not responding to painful commands. His pulse rate was 105/min with exaggerated deep tendon reflexes. His investigations showed a raised serum lithium level of 3.9 mEq/L, creatinine of 1.8 mg/dl, and raised white blood cells of 24,800/μl. His liver function tests and sugar level were within the normal range. All his previous medications, including lithium were stopped, and he was treated with intravenous (IV) normal saline, IV ceftriaxone 2 g, and vancomycin 500 mg twice a day for 2 weeks. In order to rule out any infection, his blood was sent for culture, and a cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) analysis was done to rule out any neuro-infection. However, both blood culture and CSF results were found to be normal. A magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) of the brain showed T2 and flair hyperintensities in the bilateral parietal lobe and periventricular white matter changes, both suggestive of lithium toxicity [Figure 1]a. In view of his low Glasgow coma scale (8/15), the patient was intubated. Also, because of the severe lithium toxicity, hemodialysis was started. After two cycles of hemodialysis, the patient started responding to painful commands. His serum lithium level fell to 1.8 mEq/L. He was extubated on day 5 of admission. From day 6 onward, he started responding to oral commands, even though his speech was slurred. However, he had coarse tremors, truncal ataxia, and difficulty in deglutition. Subsequently, the patient was shifted to the psychiatry ward of our hospital for further management and for observation of manic symptoms. Physiotherapy was started, and within 2 weeks of intensive physiotherapy the patient started walking with support. His speech too improved. After 3 weeks, when his blood serum lithium level fell to 0.2 mEq/L, he started showing symptoms of mania. He was then treated with oral quetiapine, which was gradually increased to 300 mg/day. Thirty-six days after the first MRI, a second MRI was done. The second MRI showed up to 40% reduction in periventricular white matter hyperintensities in the bilateral parietal lobes [Figure 1]b. Even after about 6 months of follow-up the patient continues to have coarse tremors, dysarthria, and significant limb ataxia. Brain MRI showing hyperintensities.  So even after 6 months he was showing symptoms, which clearly demonstrates damage to the neural tissue. A clear example that MRIs are not completely effective and accurate in diagnosing neuronal loss. There are countless examples that be given to prove this, another is even in epileptic patients who are taking anticonvulsant medications as treatment, proven neurotoxic compounds, MRIs will only show neuronal loss after 10-20 years and will only show it as encephalopathy. So media and medicine claiming that this hallucinogenic compound are "safe" are ignoring a LOT of information. Heres just one of many abstracts that show through the study of MDMA that activation of 5ht2a receptions(those activated in hallucinogens) are neurotoxic Abstract 3,4-Methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA or "Ecstasy") and 2,5-dimethoxy-4-iodoamphetamine hydrochloride (DOI) are hallucinogenic amphetamines with addictive properties. The hippocampus is involved in learning and memory and seems particularly vulnerable to amphetamine's neurotoxicity. We evaluated the neurotoxicity of DOI and MDMA in primary neuronal cultures of hippocampus obtained from Wistar rat embryos (E-17 to E-19). Mature neurons after 10 days in culture were exposed for 24 or 48 h either to MDMA (100-800 μM) or DOI (10-100 μM). Both the lactate dehydrogenase (LDH) release and the tetrazolium-based (MTT) assays revealed a concentration- and time-dependent neuronal death and mitochondrial dysfunction after exposure to both drugs. Both drugs promoted a significant increase in caspase-8 and caspase-3 activities. At concentrations that produced similar levels of neuronal death, DOI promoted a higher increase in the activity of both caspases than MDMA. In the mitochondrial fraction of neurons exposed 24h to DOI or MDMA, we found a significant increase in the 67 kDa band of apoptosis inducing factor (AIF) by Western blot. Moreover, 24h exposure to DOI promoted an increase in cytochrome c in the cytoplasmatic fraction of neurons. Pre-treatment with an antibody raised against the 5-HT(2A)-receptor (an irreversible antagonist) greatly attenuated neuronal death promoted by 48 h exposure to DOI or MDMA. In conclusion, hallucinogenic amphetamines promoted programmed neuronal death involving both the mitochondria machinery and the extrinsic cell death key regulators. Death was dependent, at least in part, on the stimulation of the 5-HT(2A)-receptors. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22983118 Risperodone is a good case too for showing excitotoxic damage, a 5ht2a inverse agonist, and other anti convulsion medications which are 5ht2a antagonists there is a correlation with palinopsia. Palinopsia being obviously common with HPPD, the most probable reason being, that the 5ht2a specific neurons that underwent glutamate excitotoxic apoptosis, are now gone, and therein laying a lack of 5ht2a input, which would be similar to that of these drugs, being inverse agonists and antagonists. So this gives even more credence that HPPD is caused by 5ht2a induced glutamate excitotoxic apoptosis. So unfortunately for these sufferers is most likely that their diagnosis is neuronal loss. A sad day for anyone regardless if they are a drug addict or a one times user. Heres a study that shows the areas likely to be affected Brain imaging studies Until recently, many neural circuit models were based on animal studies, and implications for the effects of hallucinogenic drugs or disease models in humans were based on inferences from these studies. However, functional neuroimaging studies enable one to examine these neural circuit models directly and test specific hypotheses about the role of specific neural systems in the expression of ASC. PET with the radiotracer 18F-fluorodcoxyglucose (18FDG) was used to assess drug-induced changes in the regional cerebral metabolic rate of glucose (CMRglu), as an index of cerebral activity. We found that a hallucinogenic dose of racemic ketamine increased neuronal activity in the prefrontal cortex (hyperfrontality) and associated limbic regions, as well as in striatal and thalamic structures in healthy volunteers, giving the first evidence that functional alterations in CSTC loops may underlie the symptomatology of drug-induced ASC.50 This hyperfrontality finding was corroborated and extended in subsequent studies in healthy volunteers in which the effects of hallucinogens and NMDA antagonists including psilocybin, racemic ketamine, and S-ketamine were compared. In particular, we found that, despite different primary mechanisms of action, the two classes of drugs produced strikingly similar brain activation patterns as indexed by normalized CMRglu. Both psilocybin and ketamine markedly increased brain activity bilaterally in the frontomedial and frontolateral cortex, including the anterior cingulate. Lesser increases were found in the temporomedial, superior, and inferior parietal cortices, striatum, and thalamus. Decreases were found in the left caudate nucleus, bilaterally in the ventral striatum, occipital lobe, and visual pathway.9-11 A correlational analysis revealed that the metabolic hyperfrontality in ketamine and psilocybin subjects was associated with a depersonalization/derealization syndrome, thought disturbances, and mania-like symptoms.9-11 The hyperfrontality finding in ASC was further supported by evidence from brain imaging studies with ketamine and psilocybin in healthy volunteers27,51 and was also found in subjects treated with the classic pheny le thyl amine hallucinogen mescaline.52 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181663/ Prognosis is typically really bad with little recovery in patients that have extensive damage. Mainly the only saving grace is synaptic hyper plasticity. If you then take in to account the possibility for future advancements in neurogenesis and stem cell research there is some hope but there is the unfortunate case that regeneration of damage to the white matter shown in Axolotl Salamanders is structural deficient when taken in to account long distance axonal tracts. The Axolotl being capable to regenerating neurons sadly only can fill the area of these damaged long tracts with short neurons typically found in gray matter, making structural integrity likely deficient in functional regrowth. So even with neurogenesis prognosis is likely grim for these patients. There is a certain drug that I found that ends the cascade event of hallucinations right at the core of the matter and would in the event of a "bad trip" save these patients a great deal of permanent neuronal loss if they made it to the ER in time. I cant find the drug at the moment and I don't have time to find it but I believe it was simply an reverse 5htp2a receptor agonist. I was actually able to find some treatments in extremely old medical books too, which lead me to believe that the physicians were actually stimulating neurogenesis in their patients, but still even with that recovery is limited due to axonal tracts being lost in white matter, but it would certainly improve their lives. Instead of educating people of these dangers they promote hallucinogens as potential for all kinds of treatments and ignore negative effects. One study showed in 400 people who were given hallucinogens 157 report long term effects that did not resolve, some committed suicide. Heres the axolotl research The axolotl can regenerate multiple organs, including the brain. It remains, however, unclear whether neuronal diversity, intricate tissue architecture, and axonal connectivity can be regenerated; yet, this is critical for recovery of function and a central aim of cell replacement strategies in the mammalian central nervous system. Here, we demonstrate that, upon mechanical injury to the adult pallium, axolotls can regenerate several of the populations of neurons present before injury. Notably, regenerated neurons acquire functional electrophysiological traits and respond appropriately to afferent inputs. Despite the ability to regenerate specific, molecularly-defined neuronal subtypes, we also uncovered previously unappreciated limitations by showing that newborn neurons organize within altered tissue architecture and fail to re-establish the long-distance axonal tracts and circuit physiology present before injury. The data provide a direct demonstration that diverse, electrophysiologically functional neurons can be regenerated in axolotls, but challenge prior assumptions of functional brain repair in regenerative species. https://doi.org/10.7554/eLife.13998.001 This how complex the tracts are Interneurons a possibility, Dr. Abraham comments on this LSD and the phenethylamine hallucinogen DOI are potent partial agonists at 5-HT2A receptors on interneurons in rat piriform cortex. Marek GJ1, Aghajanian GK. Author information Abstract Correlations between 5-hydroxytryptamine (5-HT) receptor binding affinities and human hallucinogenic potency have suggested that 5-HT2 receptors mediate the hallucinogenic effects of lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD) and phenethylamine hallucinogens. Electrophysiological studies have suggested that a subpopulation of gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA)ergic interneurons in layer III of the rat piriform cortex are excited by serotonin (5-HT) via 5-HT2A receptors. These interneurons have inhibitory inputs on pyramidal cells in layer II. In the present study, we tested low concentrations of both LSD (3-100 nM) and the phenethylamine hallucinogen 1-(2,5-dimethoxy-4-iodophenyl-2-aminopropane (DOI; 0.3-10 microM) on rat piriform cortical interneurons that were excited by 5-HT. Both LSD (3-100 nM) and DOI (0.3-10 microM) excited almost every cell excited by 5-HT. The maximal excitation achieved with LSD and DOI was 39% and 55% of the effect of a near-maximal 5-HT concentration (100 microM). Consistent with a partial agonist action, LSD and DOI blocked the 5-HT excitation of piriform cortical interneurons only at the higher hallucinogen concentrations tested. A specific 5-HT2A receptor antagonist, MDL 100,907, blocked excitation of these interneurons by 5-HT, LSD and DOI, but not by norepinephrine or alpha-amino-3-hydroxy-5-methyl-4-isoxazole-propionate. Again, consistent with a partial agonist action of the hallucinogens, intracellular experiments showed that a maximal concentration of DOI (10 microM) induced fewer postsynaptic inhibitory currents than did 5-HT (100 microM) in pyramidal neurons in layer II of the piriform cortex. Based on the present electrophysiological studies, we conclude that LSD and DOI, a phenethylamine hallucinogen, act as highly potent partial agonists at cortical 5-HT2A receptors.
  5. 1 point
  6. 1 point
    Hello my name is Beau Zoellner. I’m open to share. I’m in Tulsa Oklahoma age 25 and have had severe HPPD for last 8 years of my life. I am an owner of a licensed medical marijuana company in Oklahoma. www.drzleaf.com 918-510-8652
  7. 1 point
    Hi! My name is Madison and I've had HPPD for 1 year now. It has improved incredibly with the right medications and changes in lifestyle, but I still suffer from it everyday. I am a documentarian and animator and want to accurately depict the struggles and stories of people who deal with HPPD. I think the best way to depict the lives of those who have HPPD is through the eyes of someone who has it as well, instead of someone who may or may not sympathize with those who have HPPD. My goal is to spread awareness through personal anecdotes, poems, visual representation through animation, interview, and sound to make a documentary. I am seeking out a large variety of people-- those who were just diagnosed(or self diagnosed), those who are fully recovered, those who have had it for years, and those who are professionals/doctors/knowledgeable about HPPD. I have a close relationship with my doctor who worked under Dr. Henry Abraham so hopefully I could interview him as well.This project I expect to take over the span of 2-3 years. I really want to make it the best that it could be. If you are interested at all in making this happen, whether you are willing to be interviewed (even with your face blurred out to hide your identity), or if you want to share your writing/send audio of you reading it over, or any way that you feel like you can contribute would be fantastic. I am willing to travel far to capture footage (right now I am based in the east coast). Please either comment or message me if you are interested; our stories need to be told.
  8. 1 point
    I've since found medications have helped my situation and I'm gonna make a post that reflects my experience and ideas on how we can combat our symptoms
  9. 1 point
    We will be releasing another questionnaire within the next couple of months. After that, we will look at the results of the two questionnaires together.
  10. 1 point
    That's really well done
  11. 1 point
    Good article. A note about dosage. The maximum daily dose long term is 4,000 iu without blood test monitoring. [ Ref missing right now but that is for all adults worldwide ]. To put this in perspective, if you are in the sun a lot, the the skin will make up to 10,000 iu a day. I post this because lots of articles about the danger of Vitamin D as well as many doctors feeling one only needs 200 iu/day. If I find the ref I'll post it but one can be safe with the above dose indefinitely. I am currently taking 10,000 iu for 3 years now (with blood tests). Since am on multiple meds for osteoporosis, am utilizing a lot of D. Thank you also for mentioning K2. Bones need it (osteoblasts) to mature by mineralizing. It is very effective at preventing plaque from calcifying as you mentioned. Again doctors are scared of K, (1 and 2) because it interferes with blood thinners ... but again one usually shouldn't be on a blood thinner. As for D helping HPPD, it would be interesting to see how many people it helps. It doesn't do anything overt for me. But its broad health benefits are respectable. One should take it anyway. If they can be tested, aim for mid to above mid range. Long term minimum, even if in range, is inadvisable.
  12. 1 point
    I developed this terrible thing about a week ago which scared the ever living shit out of me but as of 3 days ago approximately the visual snow has decreased and the patterns I was seeing a week ago are starting to fade. I still have some DR but i've been dealing with it, I havent done any kind of drugs whatsoever and havent taken any medication... I just tried to calm myself down and I am optimistic that I can overcome this in no time. Sure, it's still hard to deal with all this, it can be so overwhelming but I do believe in recovery. Anyone else start getting better within a week?
  13. 1 point
    The way I see it, it's a neurological problem that causes such psychological distress. I suffer from extreme brain fog and I myself share strange visuals. My life is at a complete stand still because of this. No doctor will help you with this. I have tried. I have asked for and FMRI, and neuropsychological evalutation and the doctor said good luck finding an insurance company that will help with that. What I want to do for myself is study this, and understand what's going on in the brain, what's lighting up, what's not. I want to take cognitive testing and really assess my overall fluid intelligence because I really believe there's a god damn problem. The best way I can describe it is like something clicked, when this all happened and haven't felt right ever since. Lots of people feel this way. Lupus, Multiple Sclerosis, Fibromyalgia, Diabetes, Post concussive syndrome but a doctor wont help you. Your just thinking to much take this pill and shut the fuck up. Sorry if you feel worse or get more problems. I've been suggested anywere from anxiety to schiz. I just feel so numb and dumb all the time and all I really want is to feel and think again.
  14. 1 point
    Ah the Unicorn's butthole.... interesting. Please stop doing drugs of any kind so you do not further your condition.
  15. 1 point
    Thank you dasitmane for coming back on this forum, I was following your first thread with great pleasure. I hope that we can make some progress in our knowledge and that people will join in and share their findings. @yosoydiego About the Reddit thread, the connection with HPPD and Lyme was reported by a user who is actively promoting the use of chlorine dioxide to (falsely) cure HPPD. It is very unhealthy to practice this 'cure' and will not aid your mind and body in any positive way, so take that in mind when reading posts made by that user (HPPDandstuff).
  16. 1 point
    The Lewy Body Dementia is really unique. Maybe thats a potential for the cause of this condition as well, some deposits of a chemical or protein of some sort that has difficulty being broken down once deposited, and disrupting brain function. Again, I doubt it, but maybe. The first hypothesis sounds a lot like what I have been saying, but I attribute it to a loss of white matter which is the communication circuits between gray matter, causing deficiencies in the sensory cycle that they explain. Also if I remember correctly, Acetylcholine typically has a lot to do with motor function and bodily control. Its clearly noticed that people with Lewy Body Dementia begin having motor control issues, incontinence, and extreme muscle rigidity. Sufferers of HPPD typically have no motor or body movement/function issues, so I would believe this rules out any regulation disorders specifically with Acetylcholine.
  17. 1 point
    There's one week left to complete the questionnaire. Please keep the responses coming. Thanks!
  18. 1 point
    I am here for several reasons. Foremost, my 23 year old son has HPPD and I am personally touched by this. His struggles parallel what others feel and experience as written here. Living with HPPD is a private hell – seems. It is met with misunderstanding and judgment from an insensitive society and an uninformed professional medical community, generally speaking, with exception of very few doctors who are HPPD champions. It seems most members here are unofficially diagnosed… seeking information what to expect, where to go, how to feel better, lead life unencumbered. What a Godsend this forum is. I am here because I believe HPPD sufferers need advocacy… This means caregivers and the community leaders are needed to speak for them when they cannot, to represent their needs, to make a difference, to carry a torch and make inroads in research and awareness. To YOU, I extend my hands to help, my heart, my time. I am a psychologist, researcher, and writer…. and I care very, very much. So many faces, different places, the stories so similar…. Too little resources, no place to turn, just each other to help. I am only one person, but bring it on… and let’s get started to do something good. Please visit my website, Faces of HPPD www.facesofhppd.com which is established as a project to compile information about HPPD from those who have received official diagnosis and treatment, so that all can learn about living with HPPD. Faces of HPPD is not intended to compete with this forum… but to expand the sharing of resources and knowledge. I hope in some way I can be a force to make a small difference. God speed to each and everyone of you! Doreen Lewis, PhD (in Florida)
  19. 1 point
    "In a survey of sixty five users of LSD, Holsten found fifty users who described post LSD disturbances eighteen months to four years later3." HPPD is wayyy more prevalent than people are estimating among LSD users. http://www.bjmp.org/content/25-years-hallucinogen-persisting-perception-disorder-diagnostic-challenge Its incredible to me that these findings arent more widely published. Hallucinogens are clearly neurotoxic. Holsten, F. (1976) Flashbacks: Clinical and social significance 1 ½-4 years after the first admission , Journal of Norwegian Medical Association; 96: 875-878
  20. 1 point
    Also posted in "Introductions": Hi everyone! Ive been a longtime observer of this and the old forum. I was struck with strong symptoms of HPPD about 11 years ago after a heavy dose mushroom trip. Had all sorts of nasty symptoms(indoor rain/snow/static, floaters, trails and halos, tracers, light blobs, geometric patterns when eyes closed or in darkness/dark room, periphery vision movements, negative image retention, etc., etc., etc.). This went on for years. It affected every part of my life. About a year in, it was so bad that I contemplated suicide daily. My grades struggled, my relationship fell apart (she began thinking i was losing it--she was correct), my life was a complete mess. I honestly didnt even feel human. I felt like this messed up walking mind fucked brain in a body that doesnt even belong with it. I never could pull the trigger on suicide (no pun intended) and just dealt with it all the best i could. Things werent getting any better, but i was getting better at dealing with it all. Yes, it was 5 years of hell. A hell i wouldnt wish upon anyone. I thought my life was essentially over, that i would be this weird/disturbed socially awkward person with crazy visual anomolies that drove me nuts. Well, after that initial 5-6 years, things did start to dramatically change. I was noticing sever symptom decrease daily. I was actually feeling less detatched and not just by ignoring the feeling of detatchment, but legitimately feeling more like a person, not some detatched body imprisoned brain. I really didnt do anything special, the symptoms just faded over time to where i had no symptoms at all. I still have no symptoms. Well, none is a stretch, but they are soooooo mild that they arent noticeable unless i seek out noticing them. I have been basically symptom free now for 6-ish years. No flare-ups or setbacks whatsoever. The only thing i did differently at the time of symptom decrease was that i began taking tramadol daily for an injury i suffered in a car wreck (herniated discs L3-L5 lumbar region low back). I found it very helpful with my anxiety/depression mood swings that HPPD brings with it. I am not recommending/encouraging everyone go get on tramadol, all i can say is that it undoubtedly helped me during that time. Hell the tramadol timing with symptom subsiding may have just been placebo or coincidence, but either way, it had a marked effect on my visuals and mental state especially. Anyway, i write this to show everyone that recovery can happen. It took time, and alot of it, but it happened. It happened for me and my hppd symptoms were so strong/bad they were ruining my life. Stay strong everyone, (i know...thats easier said than done) the symptoms can subside and even disappear altogether over time. It happened to me, and i assure you all that i am nothing special. Good luck everyone. If anyone wants to know more detailed info on my journey through and out of the HPPD mess, just let me know. I came on here to provide hope and to help anyone that wanted my help. Again, good luck everyone, and have a wonderful day.
  21. 1 point
    It was pretty long and slow, the best advice I can give is to find way to deal with it as best you can and try to ignore it. Don't allow yourself to give it too much power over you and obsess over it. After I was able to stop thinking about it all the time I just kinda woke up one day and was like oh hey, my vision is a lot better than it was 6 months ago.
  22. 1 point
    I pretty much just have visual snow afterimages and light sensitivity that's it but I've had it now for 18 months been sober for a good 8 how long did you have your hppd red until it died off was it slow or instant your story gives guys like me hope that it will eventually go away I was doing a lot of exercise but due to another health issue in which I'm waiting for an op for the time being I'm pretty immobile which sucks
  23. 1 point
    Here is my success story. I really hope this helps people because when I first got HPPD almost 4 years ago at age 23 I was a total train wreck and thought I would never get my life back. I am certain that this forum played a huge role in saving my life because for a long time I was seriously worried that I would have no other way out than to take my own life. This was definitely my darkest time and it makes me a little sick to think about it but I feel like I owe it to all the kids out there who are suffering. I'll get to the point. I took mushrooms for the first time ever and I flipped out. There seems to be a pretty standard story to this...total fear, a feeling that the trip will never end, it was a feeling I had never felt before. In my mind, I went to hell if it does exist. I woke up the next day feeling wierd, just off, sort of empty. I didnt think it anything serious until a week later, on new years day, I woke up after a night of partying in Las Vegas, and I knew something was wrong, I was sick, I was throwing up, and I was terrified, my vision was changing before my very eyes, everything was moving, and I knew something was wrong, the first thing I thought when I got up...the mushrooms were coming back to get me. I tried to tell myself it would be ok, that I was just sick from drinking, but it didn't stop. I didn't eat for almost a week, and I went to the hospital to get an I.V. to rehydrate me. In the ER, there was a true psychotic woman having an episode, It terrified me, because I felt I could somehow relate to her. I thought I had really lost it and I would never be the same. I'd heard of people "freaking out" and stories from the 60s, musicians like Brian Wilson going nuts on acid ect. and I starting thinking I was one of them now. I went home and felt so empty, but I couldn't even cry. My parents came back from a trip they were on, and it was like I didn't even know them, I was in my own little world. Things that were familiar were foreign to me, nothing was the same. As I worried more, things got worse, I started having panic attacks daily, I couldn't sleep, and my visual symptoms got worse. I had horrible headaches, nausea, paranoia, depression, visuals, the whole nine yards. At this point I think i was pre depersonalized, the panic was very strong, and it drove me deeper into a state of numbness. I was having terrible nightmares when I did sleep, finally, I think my mental anguish drove me into a state of numbness, where I couldn't feel anything around me, just like a zombie. I would say this was about 4-6 months into it. I started seeing therapists, and it helped a bit to have someone I could talk to because I didnt have anyone. None of my friends got it, and I was scared to tell my parents. At that point I wasn't even sure if they were real. I started reading on the forums, and this was a real game changer. I started to learn about some of the things that were happening, like the depersonalization/derealization, anxiety, ect. But more than that, I learned that there were people just like me, that I could talk to and would understand me, and even better that some people had survived it. This gave me what I needed, a little hope. Something to AIM for, a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course I was unsure and skeptical that I would get better, but at this point, in what seems like a rather odd reasoning, I decided that I couldn't be any worse off, and that the only choice I had was to get better, I really had nothing to lose. I knew it wouldn't happen soon but I thought, hell, I've survived this long (it was probably a year in) I can keep going, so I kinda just put my life on autopilot. I bought myself some time, I said, hey I'm just gonna deal with this day to day, not try to push myself too hard, and maybe in a few years I'll at least be able to function. That was a big deal, I accepted my situation, that it was gonna suck now, and that it would be a long time before I got better. During this time I had a lot of bad days, I also had some good ones. But every time that I had a good day, I kinda put that in my mental bank. Like saving pennies at a time. They add up. I made habit of doing things that would promote overall well being. That meant regular exercise programs, eating better, meditation, and yoga. I began to make steady improvements, I started having more good days, and things looked better for me. Someone once described HPPD as sort of like throwing a stone into the water, a huge splash, then lots of waves, ups and downs, and the slowly get less and less intense and I would totally agree. There was a long period of about 1 1/2- 3 years into HPPD that I began to get frustrated because I would feel great and think I finally beat it, then relapse again, I just wanted to be better, but again, time heals. This coming New Years day will be my 4 year anniversary of the day HPPD and I can say that this is behind me. In fact, I look back on it and I almost don't believe myself. It's almost like it was just a terrible nightmare. Which is how I had hoped I would look back on it some day. I want to put it behind me and never look back. But at the same time I want to help the kids that are on here because I know how terrible they feel and they need help just like I did. I owe it to someone because I survived and I want people to know that you can beat it but it takes work and commitment. I still feel a little lost, like I'm not sure who I am as a person, but I at least feel like I know where I am (haha). I just spent 4 years in a nightmare and now I'm awake. So I will try to offer some advice. The forums are great for helping you out, but don't spend too much time here. Don't spend hours on hours reading about peoples problems, about mental disorders. Education is good but at some point it will only make you more obsessive. Also, there is a lot of negativity here that will bring you down, because people that are on here are mostly here because they are having problems, not because they are doing great. For every 1 success story you will read about 20 horror stories. It's like watching the news, they only report on the bad stuff, you will never turn it on and have the reporter say "hey, everything is great." Again, do stuff that promotes good health, a healthy body is a healthy mind. Get outside and enjoy nature. I found it easier to connect with natural objects. Try to feel the sun, or the breeze on your face, little things like that. They can help you feel alive. Stop doing drugs, alcohol, tobacco, or limit your intake if you can. Smoking weed really made things worse for me. Talk to someone that can offer something positive and will understand your situation. If anyone ever wants to talk, on the phone, email, whatever, hit me up. Believe you can get better.
  24. 1 point
    two questions: why should drugs trigger this? and in our time alot of people have spinal probs wouldnt much more people have this problems then? i think its some kind of brain alteration and i cant imagine any other cause
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