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  2. Thanks. It just seems so frustratingly odd...I developed HPPD almost six years ago to the date. At the beginning I was beside myself in terror-but I was prescribed abilify and an ssri I can't remember and started to habituate. To be honest-maybe the rx at the time did nothing but since I had no dp/dr I just accepted my new normal. I stay on ssri off and on (for long stretches) over the years with no changes and even some anxiety relief. I go off Paxil in February as I feel I no longer need it. Summer was beyond stressful so I decide, quite begrudgingly to go on the 10 mg Paxil again. It's almost like I downregulated too many 5ht2a receptors and now my baseline is this dp state for good. Odd I've often gotten this after falling asleep at least three other times. This time it stuck and I don't know why. Well that's my sob story folks. End.
  3. I tend to agree. The limbic system, from what very limited knowledge I have of the brain, makes sense. That said, I don't think we should rule out the cause being our brains attacking themselves in response to the drugs which then caused neurodegeneration. I know for example that after I initially got HPPD I had severe brain fog which Dr. Kharrazian has said is a sign of a cellular cleaning process. I've always thought this could be an indication my brain just kept on attacked itself even long after the acid left my system. I have psoriasis and possibly an autoimmune thyroid condition as well. My whole family has autoimmunity too.
  4. Yesterday
  5. Then what? What if you drink more? Do they get more frequent permanently?
  6. I'm 1.5 years in, and even after 2 beers I get increased twitching and brain zaps when following asleep later that night
  7. Good luck! Not all have bad reactions to SSRIs.
  8. This is a major issue of mine... Waking up early. Takes me a while to fall asleep as well. Meditation before bed helps.... Body scanning.... Melatonin... The occasional sleeping pill. Still a daily struggle though and I never used to have sleeping issues.
  9. I think what we describe hppd as is nothing but symptoms of true mental illnesses we brought out by doing drugs.
  10. I think I've read about it from time to time. There's been a topic on this forum that includes a poll, to which a lot of people have answered. I should prolly go check that out again. What I was missing from that is people's experiences with HPPD over a long time. My HPPD was caused by the one and only one drug experience, out of alcohol, I ever had - a blotter with a combo of 25I and 25c nBOME. Days after I had a lot of anxiety, due to things happening during the trip, and I noticed floaters. Thought of it quite a lot but accepted it - recalled I read about it somewhere, that you could experience permanent problems. If I remember it correctly, I did drink a bit after that but it was after the festival I came back home and noticed my entire vision had changed. Sad to think of it, as I guess that I could've recovered, but that those days in a not so good environment fucked me over. Really? What amounts and to what extent? Yup, drugs are drugs, regardless of name and common use. My friends are quite supportive and I really don't have that problem. I just find myself missing it sometimes. I can't remember what it feels like but yesterday, for example, I was just sitting at home, doing some work. I started listening to Avicii's new songs and danced in my chair. I felt so happy about the song, but there's a longing for the buzz and rhythm going through my body. That, in turn, made me sad. I can be social and dance without drinking, no problem, but I can only manage the social bit to a certain extent before the drunkedness of people are too overwhelming for my abilities. They're on a different wave length by then, crossing a border I can't get over while sober. How did it make you freak out? You get no effect from it, bad ones especially?
  11. So I've commented awhile back about possible hppd, which I come to find out I have :(. I was suffering with depression and serious anxiety and was warned not to start Prozac.. I had no other option to start trying it because i couldn't get much worse seeing I hit the bottom already. The Prozac def increases my hppd symptoms but atleast it made me feel happy and no anxiety but trippy at the same time. It help my visual snow to, which means probably all the anxiety was causing it. I don't want to have to take the antidepressant for more than a year tho. Hopefully it's not a lifetime gig for me.
  12. Anyone tried it? I have mild HPPD...tons of floaters of all kinds, enhanced BFEP, Tinnitus, muscle twitching, bundle of nerves feeling that won't go away..... Anyway I've tried mirtazapine over a year ago..helped me sleep but first day after taking it I saw waving walls and BFEP....kept taking it and only occasional saw those things.... clonidine didn't do much but make me thirsty..... valium is ok but I don't take it often.... I only took amitriptyline for a week 10 months ago and didn't seem to do anything negative.....I'm thinking of starting up a small low dose regiment and see if it helps with the VS and Tinnitus...... Anyone else tried it?
  13. Couldn't drink during first months after my bad trip because it made me freak out. Now I can enjoy alcohol again, in fact I might be drinking too much. Guess I will try to cut it out again so my mind can focus on recovery.
  14. I get migraines since 2005, not all the time but often enough. Have been wondering if there is a correlation to my weird reaction to psilocybin. However this dreadful feeling and migrain headaches don't really appear simultaneously and I didn't get this feeling before I took mushrooms.
  15. No but @Onemorestep would.
  16. MDMA is structurally similar to meth and mescaline. MDMA was basically synthesized with that in mind - combine a powerful stimulant with a psychedelic.
  17. I have very intense mood swings sometimes. I think it has more to do with anxiety and stress than hppd. I've never had mania. I used to get depressed but I don't anymore. My worst experiences of depression have been while I was on psych meds.
  18. Sucks that you have to drink as an adult to be considered social.
  19. I don't, and I've been to the ER and doc and had so many tests ran I would know if I had one. My friend seems to think that it's damage/injury at the cellular level in the limbic system - either the thalamus or hypothalamus. That's why it's taking so long to heal, and why anything stressful or you're sensitive to will set you back. It's just inflaming the inflammation you already have.
  20. Fante - I've read it myself and was amazed at the similarities! I can actually relate to so many of her initial symptoms. So yes, I expect there is a strong connection. What's your autoimmune disease? I've developed dysautonomia as a result of hppd, namely in the form of POTS.
  21. I used to be able to drink with this but now it fries my brain even in tiny amounts, makes me dizzy, body just can't tolerate it anymore. Just as with any stimulant.
  22. Hi guys Has anyone developed mood problems as a result of this? I'm sure many of us have depression but I refer more to the opposite end of the spectrum - I've had periods where I've felt hypomanic (like a mild dose of mdma, oddly enough...! Only I'm certainly not happy about it...) and I do worry about the chances of bipolar, or progression to full blown mania at some point. Can anyone relate? Or, indeed, simply to the feeling of having mdma coursing through your brain whilst completely sober.
  23. Fascinating. Wouldn't have thought of it as a hallucinogen, or a drug that has negative psychiatric effects (versus weed/lsd anyway) but then it's the drug that got me where I am. You have also mentioned it was Mandy that made your hppd permanently much worse.....Do you still have any *really* freaky visual stuff going on? I know you've spoken about 3D cogs before.....
  24. I've never heard of anyone having their HPPD permanently worsen due to alcohol. Pretty interesting considering this is thought of as a disorder strictly obtained and exacerbated via hard drugs. I think it's stories like yours, in addition to people with Visual Snow Syndrome and those who get HPPD-like symptoms through exposure to toxic chemicals, who basically confirm how complex this disorder is in terms of its origins and ongoing evolution. There's clearly something inside our brains that doesn't agree with the chemistry of the modern world... In terms of alcohol consumption, I've thought about drinking again. I'm not recovered yet, and I've been sober for 2.5 years now, but I also want to be able to enjoy like socially again when I feel comfortable. I don't know what this means in terms of alcohol, but I know for sure I don't ever want to drink heavily again. I just can't figure out if I'll be able to tolerate a little alcohol here and there without binging. Ideally if I can find enough purpose in my life I won't need it.
  25. Do you know the dosage of keppra or briviact to take?
  26. I was also Gona try rTMS on the right side. And possibly neurofeedback
  27. Thank you man. Will be trying briviact then. Have you heard of a combo of lexapro with lamactil?
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