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  1. Today
  2. @HDDeer Interesting. Your post got me thinking. When I was a little kid I used to see recognizable shapes in the trees between the branches. I think it's called negative space. When I looked at the stars I'd see cobweb like threads connecting the stars and I'd immediately see shapes. If I stared up under the trees at night I'd see cartoon like animations play out in the vague outlines of the branches and leaves. This was long before I had tried anything psychoactive. I was basically a normal kid with no indication of mental illness or schizophrenia. I'm starting to think my brain is simply wired to see patterns. I'm wondering if these natural abilities, for lack of a better term, are indicators for contracting hppd or at least the flavor of hppd I have. When my daughter was about 5 she made a comment about seeing shapes between branches. My Mom has made similar comments over the years. Perhaps there is something genetic at play. I realize none of this is concrete but your post brought back these memories and helped me connect some dots.
  3. Yesterday
  4. and after HPPD more mature
  5. inspiration
  6. so we can dedicate this post to the happy memories before hppd!!!!
  7. I think im getting on Ativan and Adderall
  8. ive fasted for like a couple days before
  9. I feel like psychologists don't understand hppd because it varies, not one person's hppd is the exact same. My personal belief is that hppd is mental illness or brain damage done by rcs. The brain is obviously wired differently for people who are susceptible to hppd as opposed to the people that aren't. There's a reason for that. People are born with these hallucinations not knowing what the hell they are so they say oh i have hppd. My brother has severe autism, sees static, and weird hallucinations, whose to say I am not on the spectrum just because I haven't been diagnosed, at this point it might make sense.
  10. Last week
  11. In general, the little "floaters" you see when you look at the sky are normal. If you're concerned about them go to an eye doctor. Some physical eye conditions can make these worse especially as we age. Brain fog can also occur in anyone anytime in their life for a variety of reasons. For me the Winter months are the worst because of the darkness. It's not necessarily due to drug use. If your face is getting numb and painful, go to the doctor. It could be a sinus or a dental infection. If it starts getting worse, don't wait! As for the other symptoms, it's hard to say. If you do have a touch of hppd it sounds pretty minimal. I'd refrain from using psychoactive substances, at least for a while, to see how things go. Note, I'm not a doctor in any way, shape, or form. If you're concerned seek out a medical professional.
  12. Hey, At NYE I took 2 lines of mephydrone and 3 hours later started dividing 220mg xtc. Had a really bad comedown which didn’t go away completely. I dont have the same amount of energy, my mind is a bit slower and when I do labour I get brain fog and a part of my face gets numb/painfull. Also I’m a bit sensitive to light and there’s a little bit of visual snow. Not like a vs simulator but when I stare at a wall, didnt even notice the first few months. Now lately I discovered some bright moving points and maybe some little black things like eyelashes when looking at the blue sky in the afternoon. When its really bright. Are those a symptom of hppd or am I experiencing a long time comedown?
  13. its called obsession or OCD
  14. It might not last long then, so just do all the things to stay healthy and avoid stress. I hope you share some good news with us soon
  15. ikr I have been thru shit like that
  16. To piggyback on this subject and what I posted in David's thread, what essentially got absorbed into the culture from the 60s was the idea that drugs were the key to "expanding your mind" when in fact it was Eastern philosophy, Jungian psychology, the foundations laid by the Beat poets and Avant Guard art and of course the war in Vietnam. All of these things collided and though drugs were a part of it they were't the only part and yet past generations have really looked past how holistic the 60s were. Meditation, spirituality, philosophy, enlightenment and seeing the world differently is where so many from that era ended up, with better lives, more happiness, more peace and understanding about the world, and yet popular culture just seems intent on linking the 60s to LSD as if it was the catalyst that revolutionized everything. I apologize for ranting but I've been studying on this era lately and it's just all the more frustrating to be in my position, to know there were all sorts of cases of mental collapse related to LSD and drugs back then and yet everyone just overlooked it and wrote it off and never seemed willing to admit that these drugs weren't all that safe. Did they expand people's minds? I know many people have felt that way, but they also ruined people's lives and nobody wanted to admit that fact. Long story short: If you truly want enlightenment you must obtain it through sobriety, through healthy living, through vulnerability, through volunteer work, through friendship, family, understanding history and artistic expression and everything else that makes being a human worthwhile. Hijacking your brain with chemicals for a few hours of increased dopamine isn't going to expand your mind. It might make you feel good, then again it also might get you HPPD. But living a sober, healthy lifestyle brings nothing but positives and can open you up to becoming an authentic, joyous human being in ways you never thought possible.
  17. Sobriety has treated me well. There was a time where I felt life without drugs would be dull and unexciting. I've found the opposite to be true. I'm not a religious sort, but every sober day feels like a miracle. Sounds stupid, but that's how it registers in my coconut.
  18. Yeah, I sort of want to blame the fact that the chem was a designer drug, but i got my first symptoms years back from MDMA, a fairly well understood chemical. I've had RCs that never exacerbated my symptoms. They might have contributed to a later condition, but speculating is a waste of time. I'll never touch another again. I don't even take prescription meds anymore. Those aren't really any safer when you have HPPD. And I'm talking in terms of the odds of worsening symptoms, or adding side effects or dependency issues, but that's every man and woman's decision to make with a med professional. I will say, HPPD becoming more common might be a good thing. More visibility might mean more media attention and research, and maybe better treatments. My two pennies. This is sort of my philosophy. Drugs got me in this mess. Time to live clean.
  19. On last saturday 18 h goes trip,8 hours was most intensively, when took felt lost in my self and anxiety. Friend took and everything was good to him. So i don't know.
  20. Give yourself some time. A couple of months isn't much. Staying clean is the single best thing you can do for yourself. Keep up the jogging, exercise is good too! Try not to be pessimistic. Chances are your symptoms will improve as long as you stay clean. A positive attitude goes a long way. KB, I agree. The chemicals available now are scary. They have no track record and they're constantly tweaking these molecules so they're "legal". People, be careful!
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