All Activity

This stream auto-updates   

  1. Yesterday
  2. I can confirm the worsening visuals. I took Mirtazapine once and because of it I have (and still months later) longer tracers and more after images.
  3. Its actually an antagonist at 5ht2a, although some people have reported worsening of visual symptoms on mirtazapine. So far my visuals are exactly as I would perceive them when I wasn't taking an antidepressant. This medication seems to differ in side effects from person to person, as for me, I'm well immersed in its antidepressant activity, and my hppd symptonology has been left untouched. This could prove useful for people who are depressed and can't take SSRI's due to their hppd.
  4. Good to hear Jbalsa! Let us know how it goes. Does mirtazapine interact with the 5ht2a receptor? For some reason I feel like I heard it did once.
  5. Last week
  6. I haven't fully recovered, but many of my symptoms are gone including anxiety, close eyed visuals, depression, and feeling like I was always slightly dosed. Granted, it took decades. All that's left are the eyes open visuals. They haven't diminished much. Every once in a while I have moments where my mind and body is "out there" but I can snap myself out of it.
  7. Hey guys, Just thought I would add a quick post for anyone who's interested. I saw my psych doctor a few days ago, and he's decided to start me on an antidepressant called Mirtazapine. Mirtazapine is a tetracyclic antidepressant, one that is relatively new to the market compared to most tricyclic and SSRI anti depressants. It's day 3 now, and so far I am absolutely loving this medication. I had let my psych doc know that most SSRI's that I have tried have exacerbated my symptoms by a fair margin, and that I had to stop taking them. He gave me this one to try out. As with all anti depressants and HPPD, it does affect the way you perceive the HPPD a little bit, but what separates Mirtazapine from other SSRI's is that Mirtazapine plays nicely with my HPPD. My visual symptoms have not gotten any worse, although the way that my body perceives the HPPD is a little bit different. What i'm loving about this med is that it's pretty much completely taken care of depersonalization and derealization, while also working wonders for my depression and anxiety. I think once you've found a med that tackles DP/DR and anxiety and depression all at the same time, it makes dealing with the visual symptoms a very minor disturbance. Not everyone has had luck with mirtazapine, but I guess im one of the lucky ones here, as it is easily the best medication if taken for my HPPD by a long shot. Just thought I would start a topic as I really believe that this medication is worth a try if you find yourself struggling with DP/DR and anxiety+depression all at the same time. If any of you guys have questions feel free to ask! I'm on 15mg once daily, and il be staying at this dosage for a full month before I titrate. The maximum dosage of this medication is 45mg daily.
  8. Wow. That website is incredible. You can't even buy 5 htp in a health food shop here! Just want to add that if you buy it there, I'd still recommend a liver function test. You'd also want to be very careful with your dosage.
  9. I'm just going to assume you've tried all the usual suspects for anxiety?
  10. Good to hear. We're all probably going to get sick or deal with an illness at some point in our lives (the whole Buddhist aging, sickness, and dying thing)...better to have faced that stuff now to know our strength. I believe you will continue to heal until you no longer think about this disorder and it becomes a footnote in your life.
  11. I won't agree because you aren't a neuroscientist and I don't think you know what you're talking about. I read the entire thread. I play devils advocate and remain skeptical in the name of science and finding answers. For that I'm attacked as somehow denying reality because it's my way of dealing with brain damage...or something. The most plausible theory we have of how psychedelics work in the brain is that they desynchronize certain brain regions, altering the brain waves and magnetic field around the brain. Why couldn't that be off or altered in some way? Why does it have to be cell death caused by glutamate excitotoxicity? You don't get to determine who's a productive member of this forum and who isn't. You've already been banned once for insulting people, so I don't really think you have any leg to stand on like you're this paragon of civility and tolerance on this forum.
  12. Thanks for all the help everyone, love this community, were all in this together!
  13. Thank you for your insight, im doing better now. I have since stopped taking zoloft, i was also experiencing sexual side affects and they have since ceased. No long term issues were caused by zoloft im doing well. Ill check out selfhacked sounds interesting!
  14. Vasodilators ? Anyone tried that ? If we follow the Default Mode Network theory, hallucinogens act as vasoconstrictors on certain parts of the brain, lowering blood flow, thus inducing ego death. Now, if we say DP/DR is like a mini-ego death, could we reverse the process, at least temporarily, using a vasodilator ? I wouldn't recommend Viagra however. It can mess up with visual processing. Not the best for us. Just my 0.02.
  15. How much time did your VS last ?
  16. It's nice to hear a positive report ! I really hope you will heal, at least heal to something manageable. We all deserve to heal, I think we all suffered enough because of our mistakes.
  17. It just isnt available as a prescription. You can buy it on ceretropic I believe. I almost did last October and didn’t for whatever reason.
  18. I thought about them but its substance and i read about the side effects so , i can mange with my correct condition , anyway only at night it worse
  19. Have you tried any of the usual meds ? Lamictal, Keppra etc ?
  20. Yes i know , and its not getting better the visuals, the parnoia i had in the beginning went away , i did mri 3 weeks ago I’m still waiting for my answer, maybe it wil help to see if something happened there
  21. No bro i have been cleaned for 1 year
  22. @danjoking are you still using weed ?
  23. Everybody machine works different, mine the most disturbing thing is the visual, and emotion numbness felling(i cant feel like normal person) i have not anxiety, like the old times , I miss this shit it feel me more alive , nowadays it’s semms my visual at night getting worst overtime(trailing motion only works with led , lights especially cars ), and i only had used weed and alcohol, thats a shit story for me , eventually I’m still in process im on my 4 month cleaner, i hope i will have successfully recovery both visual and emotion , like the old me .
  24. I got HPPD three years ago now. I've made many posts here during that span and have tried to make a post every year around my anniversary. I'm a little late on this one but I actually take that as a good sign. It means I'm not as obsessed with my condition and therefore am getting better. I guess I've already said everything I need to in other posts. I can't really summarize everything that's happened to me over the last three years without writing a book. There's just so much that's happened ever since getting HPPD. I've had all kinds of additional health problems since and am currently in the process of dealing with another health issue that's really taken a great toll on my life. It's just crazy looking back now after three years. I'm not even the same person. I've learned so much about myself, my family, my health history, the world, life, everything. It's crazy to say but this whole experience has absolutely made me a more complete person. I really think my brain had faulty wiring from an early age and that, as painful as this experience has been (I wouldn't wish it on anybody in the history of the world), it was necessary for me to finally face my past and overcome demons that had haunted me silently since the day I was born. I still have many visual problems but they're very manageable now and don't really interfere with my daily routine, which is absolutely remarkable to say -- just absolutely astonishing considering how bad my HPPD and DP were even a few years ago. I truly had a terrible case of HPPD. My brain just totally crapped out. The amount of pain I've had to deal with every day for the last three years is nothing short of inhumane and mind blowing, to be quite honest. So the fact I'm able to cope with HPPD after all this is truly astonishing. It just goes to show that this condition is something you can heal from, although it takes more work than you could have ever imagined. If you want to get better you have to eat real food, exercise every day, do as many healthy habits as you can fit into your day, and most importantly you have to never give in or never give up. If I had a dollar for every time I thought of killing myself over the last three years I'd be a very wealthy man. But I never did. And look where I'm at now. I'm so happy to be alive and I feel like I'm seeing the world through a totally different set of eyes and a brain that very few people on this planet would understand. Life is so beautiful, and it's only that way because of what I've been through. Anyway, I imagine I've got another two or three years before I can say I'm totally healed, and I honestly may never be quite 100 percent again, but I'm OK with that. I'm just so grateful to even be alive at this point, I'll take anything I can get. If anybody has questions I can try and answer below. I think I have a pretty good idea of what HPPD is and how to cope and heal, but of course I'm no doctor and neither is anybody here. But I do think it's important to keep this community alive and pass on knowledge so others may benefit. As long as you stay away from drugs, eat healthy, exercise, remain mindful day in and day out, I think you'll give yourself a great shot at recovery.
  1. Load more activity