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martifer

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martifer last won the day on April 7 2013

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  1. When it's there, i just can't grasp things as clearly as i used to... and it normally happens when im ruminating too much. Then suddenly my brain feels "mushy" and i'm not as smart as i was... Just curious to know if it happened to anyone else and whether weed affected it..
  2. I should note that the head pressure/fog generally only happens when I'm stressed. Thoughts, anyone?
  3. I sometimes get headpressure and a general heavy/cloudy feeling in my head and when that happens i dont feel very sharp.... it's annoying. I started getting headpressure after i developed fairly mild hppd. It's been awhile now and most of my visual symptoms go practically unnoticeable unless i choose to focus on them. Just some visual snow and a little bit of tracers. But that cloudy feeling comes back now and again... I quit smoking weed for 6 months when i started getting panic attacks from getting high. Then i started back and have been smoking again for the past 6-8 months with no visual symptoms getting worse - at least i haven't noticed anything. However could smoking be causing/prolonging this headpressure? I may cut back to smoking only every so often..
  4. Hey guys, i used to be a semi active poster/lurker in the past 2 years. Just thought i'd give an update on my progress for anyone who is interested. This is a short motivational speech for mild sufferers only. I developed tracers, ghosting, visual snow, streaks of light across the sky from car head lights, difficulty driving, moderately bad anxiety and depression. The core problem was that i was depressed before hppd, and i found it extremely difficult to stop doing drugs. If you relate to any of this, the answer may be obvious, but ill tell you what helped me. Instead of tackling hppd head on and CONSTANTLY researching it every day and causing more and more anxiety, i battled my depression. I dropped out of school due to depression and anxiety and went to a psychiatrist. With the right mix of meds, i was able to become productive again. I worked a few part time jobs, gained some perspective and new goals in life - educational and career oriented. With the help of the meds, i was finally able to find interest in doing things i used to love - exercise, reading, science, history, and other hobbies. I fill my time with as much as possible. My hppd didn't immediatly regress. But hppd no longer occupies my mind. As i became happier and slowly came out of depression, it was easier to give up on drugs and alcohol. I guess that's pretty much it. Try to get your other issues under control and hppd will follow. Yall have been a wonderful help to me over the past two years. Thanks for reading.
  5. Just in Bouts Thanks man. That makes sense. I've noticed i sometimes get brain fog the day after smoking. Yesterday i had a bad day at work so was already in a bad mood ontop of brain fog (from smoking the night before) and it eerily reminded me of DP. I got pretty anxious about it. I guess ill take that as a warning sign. Brain fog is no bueno. I figure ill just smoke less frequently. So is DP not an issue for you anymore?
  6. So did the panic attack trigger DP for you? or HPPD? or both? and it stuck? My DP episodes started with molly/pot, then after that pot triggered it every time. Now, any time i feel even slightly anxious, i avoid smoking, so when i do, i haven't had problems. The problem with not smoking is that i gave up alcohol due to worsening addiction issues, so i use pot as my means to relax. I'll be looking out for worsening of hppd symptoms, and ill definitely stop at the first sign of DP. Been tokin too much though haha.... sometimes every day.... it was just such a relief to start smoking again and find it didn't trigger anxiety. i started with smoking while drunk and figured the alcohol kept the anxiety attacks away, then one day i smoked a little sober, then a little more, before long i was completely fried and pretty relaxed. funny how you go from swearing off a drug, to falling back into it totally hardcore.. I'm cutting this down alot now that my little "honeymoon" period is over.
  7. I developed noticeable mild hppd about a year ago. Not-so-noticible symptoms began about 2-3 years ago. Accompanying these symptoms were short bouts of DP following drug usage. I stopped most of my drug usage, including pot but excluding alcohol, for about 6 months. Now i'm back on the herb and have been puffing away happily for almost a couple months. Whereas 6 months ago weed would trigger anxiety attacks for me, now i get nothing like that even if i get completely fried. I haven't noticed any worsening of symptoms, either. My symptoms: Visual Snow - mild-medium (kinda bugs me when it think about it but doesn't get in the way of anything) Ghosting - happens pretty rarely but it happens Tracers/trailers/whatever -i see them on passing cars sometimes, and if i wave my hand in front of my face. On the mild side. None of that affects my life at all. Unless I'm consciously worrying about it getting worse, which does get to me when I'm paranoid. Symptoms that have gone away: Morphing. This has completely gone away (haven't touched acid in 2 years, molly in over a year) DP - haven't had an episode in 6 months Squigglies in the sky have receded to the point of not being a symptom. I guess my question is, will it get worse with smoking. Tell me about your experiences.
  8. ah, i wasnt aware there was a difference between companies. the pills say A 101 on them. and it says MFR: Par Pharm at the bottom, which i guess is the company.
  9. yeah, 150s. it says bupropion hcl xl on the pill bottle. think i should go back and talk about dp?
  10. I was just prescribed Wellbutrin XL. We'll see how this goes. I completely forgot to talk to the doc about how this would affect depersonalization, which ive had in the past. Kinda scared to take it for that reason as well.
  11. Alot of this stuff is over my head, but im glad i got a discussion going. I personally have had mild depression for years, even before hppd. It's school stress, pre-existing depression, and anxiety/panic attacks that started with hppd, that have sent me into a deeper depression now. I'm going to talk to my doc and give meds a try, but im definitely gonna handle them cautiously. I'm not looking at them as a long term solution but more of a jump-start into changing the way im thinking and combat the anxiety. And although i dont feel DP'd on a regular basis, i just feel a little dumber than before. Anyone get that? Bah anyway, this little chit chat helped. thanks.
  12. how's that going for you? hasn't made hppd or dp get worse? no i havent, but thanks for bringing that to my attention. is it over the counter or prescribed? ill ask my doc about it. im willing to give some meds a try (carefully)
  13. My depression (not hhpd related) has gotten so bad lately that i'm considering dropping out of school. just started seeing a therapist who reccomends meds, because that seems like the only thing that will keep me functioning. ive had mild hppd for about 9 months and have had short episodes of dp, so im afraid meds might make it worse. im conflicted. have there been any depression meds that work for you guys and dont make things worse? i dont know what to do.
  14. my tracers have gotten alot worse for seemingly little reason... i wave my hand in front of my face almost daily. and its gotten longer and longer. :/
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