lisergic_way

Im 22 and my psychotherapist told me that i have a little degree of OCD, but i dont need medication at all. It's more like a highly obsessive personality than a disorder itself, but it's still very tough, i become obsessed with EVERYTHING! im allways thinking in tragedy, that something is gonna happen to me in the street, i allways count my footsteps, im constantly afraid to die before i get to my goals, im highly perfectionist and allways try to keep simetry in my movements, etc etc. I've been taking LSD for 3 years, and i became obsessed with the idea of HPPD too, since i noted many of the simptoms. Anyway, i've learned to deal with aaall theese worries by accepting all of them as my imperfections and feeling GOOD about it, because i learned that once a thought gets inside of your head, its impossible to remove it, and you have to learn to deal with it, and the most important, be HAPPY in spite of it. Your brain works only in possitive, i mean, if i tell you "Dont think in the apple....DONT...DONT THINK IN THE APPLE" you've probably seen an apple floating in front of you, or maybe in a tree that's the way the mind works, she doesn't understand the "NO" and believe me, now i live an absolutely normal and happy life (it was a hell just a few months ago) just by accepting and letting any kind of though flow inside my head, no matter how silly, horrible, stupid or perverse it might be, and feeling happy in spite of it. There is no formula, or magic healing thought; anything you think in order to "remedy" that worry is gonna make you fall in the same vicious circle, because like a said it's not about any thought itself, but the way you choose to feel about it. You get the real happiness when you accept those imperfections as a part of your life, because they are; and it's not any kind of "self-lying" act in order to "pretend i'm feeling better", it's a totally valid and natural adaptation process to the multiple facets of mind. And that's how you attack the conflict directly to the roots, by putting yourself against the wall and saying "YES i got this HPPD, and WHAT" or you can think "I got all this worries, im obsessed with this, AND WHAT!" or whatever you want to think, this way you remove all the power from this thoughts, and the mind has its own natural hability to past the page, and without even realize it, you won't be thinking in this stuff anymore. Actually, you WILL think those thougts again (because its impossibe get them off of your head remember?) but they will not have power on you at all, because you took them away all importance already. When you try to "get your mind off of this stuff" you're blocking those thougths, and the mind see it as a threat, and will put all the available attention on it, you give them POWER on you, making impossible the fact of turning the page. See? it becomes a vicious circle. (By the way, curiously, the LSD and DMT (ayahuasca) helped me A LOT in this process of self acceptation and pacification). So, work on it, its a little bit confusing at the begining, remember accept all imperfections as part of you, putting you against the wall as many times as necesary (worries will come back many times, dont "worry" about it he he), and remember it's not the thoughts, but the way you let them affect you. I sincerely hope being helpful. Let me know if it worked