must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted May 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2012 haha... lol i took 500mgs at 7am ...... and just woke up at at 11 am ... seems to have tht affect at first... wow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted May 17, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2012 Hey Everyone... Ok my experiences thus far are intresting... Im currently on 500mgs am and 250mgs pm of Keppra I cant explain how this drug is affecting me... tho in some bizzare way it seems to be blocking things "visuals" out to some extent. I am notecing some sublte diffrences. I have had one or two break through experiences momenterially where i have been visual free and could see clearly. I was loooking at myself in the mirror.. i was amazed.. i looked so beautiful lol and everything was clear.. could not describe my joy lol In the mornings, i usually wake up to full blowen HPPD first thing... then after taking the 500mgs of keppra in the morning it does seem to be taking the edge off the visuals somewhat.. and in some way it is helping me not to notice them so much, it is kind of like it is blocking them out.. in some way.. i have no idea how the drug has the ability to do this. I have to say.. i am still a long way off, tho i have certainly beeen notecing some subtle diffrences thus far.. which is awesome, so i am quite pleased about that... I will stick to the plan and keep increasing my dose by 250mgs per week.. Cheers everyone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zukov Posted May 17, 2012 Report Share Posted May 17, 2012 Awesome dude! i hope you will improve this next weeks. Perhaps keppra improve after a period of time, like the user had told. PD: Maybe hppd is a kind of temporal lobe epliepsy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rozzer Posted May 17, 2012 Report Share Posted May 17, 2012 I like the sound of this, I hope that you continue to see improvements. Please tell me, do you also suffer from light sensitivity?? And has Keppra been helpful with that? I always wondered if Keppra could help with that aswell.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1998 Posted May 17, 2012 Report Share Posted May 17, 2012 good ? I'm so sensitive to lights, driving home from work at night w/ all the headlights blinding me not fun Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted May 18, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 18, 2012 thanks so much Zukov.. really hope it starts to improve more also Hey Rozzer, yes i do also suffer from light sensitivity, especially frm walking into a bright blace into a dim lower lit place and especially in the dark. No i have not noticed any changes there yet. Tho this is the catch 22. It is like... if i am always trying to notice improvements, im actually putting more attention on it. Like .. what i resist / will persist. So i am doing by best to give up the fight / let it be. It is almost like.. when im trying to notice, the attention immeditley goes back there if that mkes sense... so at this satge, just really doing my best to carry on with life and not be so concerned / focussed on it, an even intentianally focus on other things. Possibly it will be helpful with light sensitivity... for me it may be too early to tell at this stage.. Thanks for the support .. i will continue to make updates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loky Posted May 19, 2012 Report Share Posted May 19, 2012 Another one with light sensitivity here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted May 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 this keppra is nocking me around a bit tho i am notecing some diffrences on various levels this week started on 750mgs am 500 mgs pm Does this suff make u emotional or what,, had a Big emotional release this morning.. on crisis chat line lol at times i do feel isolated.. I just feel fucked up that may of the people i used to use with are now dead due to overdose etc.. while others have made recovery which is so awesome to see. Tho i feel as though im kinda half way and have to walk with the wounds each day.. it just feels disheartening that i have to take more drugs now to get over a proplem created by drugs in the first place.. and feel lsolated because none of my friends know i have it, and just say.. wow .. dude, u took way too much acid at such a young age , tho have litteraly no comprehension of the trauma / suffering i have endured. As mentioned earlier.. i kinda feel drowsy.. to it seems at times it is not making the visuls as noticable which is a good sign, kind of like a subtle blocking from awareness at times... its bizzare.. i have recently had thaughts of harming myself, due to the fact that i find it sad.. and at times i just feel as tho no one gives a fuck or even understands,.. whats the point etc etc... tho i suspect the Keppra is making me temporerily feel this way... Anyhow... time will tell.. keep you all posted.. and once i get thu this shit i will have the madest Pheoneix tat of all time covering half my body symbolic if my success. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zukov Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 If it helps, I understand what you say dude. My friends think I take klonopin because I'm "just stressed" as well as my doctor. Would never hurt me, but the ideas are and more these past few weeks. Maybe you should return to the previous dose, as you notice Some Benefit change. Hold on and those feelings will disappear Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gill Posted May 28, 2012 Report Share Posted May 28, 2012 Keppa made me super depressed after awhile when I tried it. It could be the med. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted May 29, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 29, 2012 thanks.. i agree it is the meds... anyhow.. ill "keep on, keeping on" cheers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuroeone Posted May 30, 2012 Report Share Posted May 30, 2012 Was thinking of giving this med a try but i better not get on Keppra if thats the case, i already have some pretty dark thoughts... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted May 31, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 sure.. as i have discoverd.. dont mix with alchol... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zukov Posted May 31, 2012 Report Share Posted May 31, 2012 What happen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted June 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 2, 2012 fucking deeply depressed day or so after.. like severe, emotional release / just reflecting on my journey,, actually felt like ending my life... and was contempating.. I would never do this tho, i love my family too much, know how much it would hurt them... Its ok.. im not usually like that.. it is the adjustment to the medicine, possibly because i also had some benzos as well / alchol and other contrubuting factors i.e. connection with "friends" who i have not seen for many years.. in which this initially all began.. triggering many emotions and feelings. I must say.. this Keppra seems to be doing something .... tho at the same time, it is turning me into a bit of a "space monkey" LOL Obviousley it is strong... tho if anything has a chance of possibly creating "a new pathway" other than my "HPPD pathway" well the it needs to be "strong"... Past few weeks have been challenging adjusting / adapting.. while my body is adapting... tho, i will keep on keeping on ... gradually raising dose etc I suspect it will become easier with time and as i become more aware of how it is affecting me and learn to "master" my state .... cheers.. thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r.trudeau Posted June 3, 2012 Report Share Posted June 3, 2012 Yeah, I've learned not to mix the medication with beer, too. One, it takes a lot less to get drunk and two, the hang over the last a few days...and it's no normal hang over, it reminds of the hangovers I use to get after doing x too many days in a row, just flat out fucking terrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted June 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2012 yes, for sure... was mixing it with wine / champagne etc.. Agreed absolutely, have learnt my lesson , thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghormeh Sabzi Posted June 14, 2012 Report Share Posted June 14, 2012 How are you doing mate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted June 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2012 Hey mate, Yes im doing okay, Currently on 1000mgs am 750mgs pm I also take half a 5 mg tab of Valium .. very little in the evening... To be honest, i am not notecing much differance at all with visuals... things still seem pretty the much same unfortunatley, only with side affects of Keppra. I am doing my best to re train my brain with meditation etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted June 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2012 who knows mybe it is still too early? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted June 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2012 This is seriousley the most fucked up "disorder" out there, it is the bane of my existance.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted June 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2012 ok ok.. appoligys for the negativity... any ideas where to go from here please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VisualDude Posted June 15, 2012 Report Share Posted June 15, 2012 Well, you are near the top dose of Keppra (2000mg some members have posted). Rather than just tapering off, stay there a while. Then you could add a little Sinemet and see if they work well together. Klonopin would be the other one to add. Just choose one and work slowly. Otherwise, enjoy your weekend... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
must-be-a-way-to-heal Posted June 15, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 15, 2012 ok cool, thanks very much.. will do for sure, and i will mention that to my doc on monday, and give eithre one a try. It may just be visual, tho that is a majour sense and critical for all round development in my opinion. Sometimes im in a much better mental state than other times and things seen to be going well, then at other times it is just too much and cannot seem to focus. Will there ever be a cure / treatment for HPPD?. Thats the way it is i suppose, everyone has there own issue ./ challenges to work through.. and there is no point giving up as i did in some areas of life due to HPPD and that got me no where. I just thaught i was not eligable because of HPPD... tho i will not make that mistake again, tho it is painful being "caught" between the worlds. Do you feel, speaking / shareing symptoms makes it worse, like one is reinforceing there problem. Because of this.. at one point i avoided all contact with this web site for over 3 years / was in denail and never spoke about HPPD once tho that did not make a differance. Anyhow... i will keep on keeping on, sorry to ramble on... again feel isolated as have no one to chat to about it... Really appreciate it, thanks Visual Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted June 15, 2012 Report Share Posted June 15, 2012 You seem to be answering 1 of your question.... You know the illness can stop you pursuing stuff... But you also seem to know that if you push yourself really hard, you will be able to do these things, hopefully even enjoy them. Obviously easier said than done though... Only today I saw some video clip on the news of people sat around eating a business lunch and everyone looked so relaxed... I thought "Shit, I wish I was just normal and could be chilled and enjoy these sort of things". I'm at the point where I can easily push myself to do those sort of things, but actually enjoying them is still a dream. But other things, I push myself into it and do actually enjoy it. In an hour, I go to school to keep learning Portugese... At 1st, just sitting in a school was enough to make me anxious... Now i'm chilled and enjoy it Keep fighting mate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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