r.trudeau Posted May 8, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Really? That is interesting. It wasn't some coke, more like a lot. And some beer. I felt like a king until I realized my heart literally wasn't too into it. But at least we have the formula down. I guess, it could have been worse. Comforting to hear someone else did some of the same things I did. Likewise! I forgot to mention the weed and hard a, as well. It is really comforting in a sense. Just hope no one makes the same mistakes as us! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miketusa Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Likewise! I forgot to mention the weed and hard a, as well. It is really comforting in a sense. Just hope no one makes the same mistakes as us! No kidding, it's a huge relief! I mean, it doesn't change a whole lot, but if you're in the same boat i'm in, then I guess that means i'm not the only one paddlin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cs1234 Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Wow, I'm at a loss for words. Very similar type symptoms, at a lesser degree, it sounds. Acid was always a mystical venture to say the least. Then I mixed with Cocaine and that was a whole different beast. I ended up willingly accepting death because I thought my heart was going to explode. The Doors were playing in the background (The End, ironcially), and I just gave up. Mad visuals, foggy brain. Then it stopped, my heart felt fine. Nothing after that, just life as usual. Then there was my second DXM experience a year later, that was what really put me over board. Just a dirty drug all around. I remember staring at myself in the mirror for an hour, and seeing past myself, I felt like a mass of waste. Terrible experience, brought on this HPPD stuff. I feel fine, then I don't. So it's a terrible waiting game, for better or for worse. But thanks to all you wonderful people, I have some last hope of defense if it gets really bad. Hmm, the plot thickens . . . Anyway, i'm glad to hear you are doing well with the keppra, seems to me a lot of people respond surprisingly well to it in lower doses! Keep up the good fight all! Acid really was mystical. It was a whole other world. I mean, it turns you into a little kid again. The world is a fascinating place, you have no problems, and girls even look ugly haha just like when I was 6. I was listening to the doors too...It was probably ten or 15 minutes after I smoked a bowl and the trip was starting to peak. After I had just seen the craziest shapes ever the distortions were kicking in really hard. like I looked outside and tree branches were morphing into fractals. then my whole vision started to spin in and out from the center. When I looked at somebody they aged very quickly right before my eyes. this was only my 2nd trip and I already knew I was trippin way harder than most people ever will. I also knew I was about to have a bad trip and I was forced to accept it rather quickly all while light my fire played in the background. The worst feeling in the world isn't the bad trip, but really it was the 2 minutes leading up to it because you can feel it coming on and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Luckily it only lasted an hour but still, it's hard to even type this shit up. But I know I need to get it out of my system and tell somebody because that's how I get over stuff. Some dumb hippies and psychonauts say that bad trips are caused by internal conflicts. Fuck that I was just trippin so hard it was scary lol. This triggered kind of pre hppd for me and it's the reason why I think hppd and ptsd are so closely related. As for DXM man that's some scary shit. Especially when you get a surprise dxm trip. If not for my previous acid experience i think I would've gone insane. but then again, the thing I was scared of the most was the dxm trip making my hppd unbearably worse; but that didn't happen so I'm incredibly thankful. I kinda sounded similar to all of you guys because I used to be so chill too. I mean people would like congratulate me for it haha. My strange sense of humor hasn't really changed, half the people I know think I'm really funny and the other half think I'm boring. I've also always been super awkward but the anxiety from hppd makes it worse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Smith Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 I liked shrooms better honestly. I found acid to be a tad overrated, but i guess i never got a real good batch. I never saw trees turn into fractals, that sounds fuckin intense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmo Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Don't give up man, gather up the courage to tell them, trust me the support and acceptance will help you, tremendously. Nahhhh I can't tell my parents. I honestly wouldn't even consider it. They're getting pretty old and my mom's pretty old fashioned and I already know she would lose it if I told her I'm experiencing problems from acid. She flipped when she found weed in my car, and never found out I was messing with harder stuff, it'd break her little heart haha. But, do you still use drugs r.trudeau??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Just hope no one makes the same mistakes as us! That's why I try and help out as much as possible on here.... It's a cliche, but if I can stop a few people making my mistakes, i'll feel like my hppd is not completly without a purpose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 That's why I try and help out as much as possible on here.... It's a cliche, but if I can stop a few people making my mistakes, i'll feel like my hppd is not completly without a purpose. I know for a fact if it wasnt for u and ur story and reasurrance in the first week i had hppd i probably woulda gone insane or killed myself. even now i still think, if jay can get by then i will too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miketusa Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Acid really was mystical. It was a whole other world. I mean, it turns you into a little kid again. The world is a fascinating place, you have no problems, and girls even look ugly haha just like when I was 6. I was listening to the doors too...It was probably ten or 15 minutes after I smoked a bowl and the trip was starting to peak. After I had just seen the craziest shapes ever the distortions were kicking in really hard. like I looked outside and tree branches were morphing into fractals. then my whole vision started to spin in and out from the center. When I looked at somebody they aged very quickly right before my eyes. this was only my 2nd trip and I already knew I was trippin way harder than most people ever will. I also knew I was about to have a bad trip and I was forced to accept it rather quickly all while light my fire played in the background. The worst feeling in the world isn't the bad trip, but really it was the 2 minutes leading up to it because you can feel it coming on and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Luckily it only lasted an hour but still, it's hard to even type this shit up. But I know I need to get it out of my system and tell somebody because that's how I get over stuff. Some dumb hippies and psychonauts say that bad trips are caused by internal conflicts. Fuck that I was just trippin so hard it was scary lol. This triggered kind of pre hppd for me and it's the reason why I think hppd and ptsd are so closely related. As for DXM man that's some scary shit. Especially when you get a surprise dxm trip. If not for my previous acid experience i think I would've gone insane. but then again, the thing I was scared of the most was the dxm trip making my hppd unbearably worse; but that didn't happen so I'm incredibly thankful. I kinda sounded similar to all of you guys because I used to be so chill too. I mean people would like congratulate me for it haha. My strange sense of humor hasn't really changed, half the people I know think I'm really funny and the other half think I'm boring. I've also always been super awkward but the anxiety from hppd makes it worse Hahaha, you sound like me. Im a strange little bird. Out going sometimes, very quiet some times, and very, very chill. DXM sucks balls. The acid I had was very pure, some college kids I knew who were chemist majors made it. It was like being in an impenetrable zig zaggy psychic cage. The trip wasn't necessarily bad, just very intense. And I agree! The lead up to the bad part of the trip is by far the worst. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cs1234 Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 I liked shrooms better honestly. I found acid to be a tad overrated, but i guess i never got a real good batch. I never saw trees turn into fractals, that sounds fuckin intense. It's anything but overrated! I mean its already super powerful cuz it causes this shit, but during the comedown of my last trip I was just chillin on my bed in the am listening to the dead. Seeing the sun rise was quite magical and as I looked outside I just felt closer to the grass, the ground, the earth. Honestly acid turns people into hippies, maybe that's why its illegal haha. I'd always wanted to try shrooms but I knew I couldnt trip anymore after i got hppd so I just had a tiny piece once. I got massive tingles in my stomach after 45 minutes and I started thinking "oh shit! am i really gonna trip?". well I didn't really trip but when I looked at these flags on a mcdonalds they started to spin around and the trees behind them started to spin too. it lasted for like 5 seconds but it was a nice little taste of what I'm missing out on. I can tell there's magic to be found in those mushrooms. And Jay you helped me a lot too. I was so so so scared at first but you were one of the people that was on like every thread trying to reassure others. everybody here keeps me sane but believe me ur hppd is not without purpose. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 And Jay you helped me a lot too. I was so so so scared at first but you were one of the people that was on like every thread trying to reassure others. everybody here keeps me sane but believe me ur hppd is not without purpose. Definitely man, i dont believe in a god or anything but I truly think some of us have it in us to really try and help out our fellow man out and better us. jay and DK are definitely in that grouping and i thank the both of u. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r.trudeau Posted May 9, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 yeah, it's an anti seizure medicine, so definitely by a doctor, many shrinks won't prescribe it regardless of whether they believe you or not, and will send you to a neurologist My pdoc said screw the neuro and gave me a script for Keppra on the spot. Contrary to popular believe, Keppra is actually a pretty safe med, only 10 percent of patients feel side effects, so it's really not that hard to obtain. No kidding, it's a huge relief! I mean, it doesn't change a whole lot, but if you're in the same boat I'm in, then I guess that means i'm not the only one paddlin! Right, hate to say this, but I don't feel like the only idiot now, no offense man. Were your thoughts really jumbled during/after the trip? Nahhhh I can't tell my parents. I honestly wouldn't even consider it. They're getting pretty old and my mom's pretty old fashioned and I already know she would lose it if I told her I'm experiencing problems from acid. She flipped when she found weed in my car, and never found out I was messing with harder stuff, it'd break her little heart haha. But, do you still use drugs r.trudeau??? Well, if things start getting overwhelming, get the help you need while your still ahead, unlike myself who waited 2 years in complete misery. And yea I do, know I shouldn't, but yeaaa...I get into the bezos, oxys and a little bit of hard a now and then. Those are the only drugs that don't mess with my HPPD. . I know for a fact if it wasnt for u and ur story and reasurrance in the first week i had hppd i probably woulda gone insane or killed myself. even now i still think, if jay can get by then i will too I wish I would have found this site, I went insane and faked an attempt to kill myself because my parents wouldn't believe me. Back fired on me though, the people in the ward thought I was crazy and stuck me on really harsh loony pills, as I like to put it. They had no idea what HPPD was, they just thought I was a lost cause then sent me to rehab....awesome docs, huh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
r.trudeau Posted May 9, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 My room is pitch black right now and It's great, no fuzz, snow, static just darkness! Keppra is still doing its thing, thankfully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zukov Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Before Keppra, have you experience dp-dr? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miketusa Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Right, hate to say this, but I don't feel like the only idiot now, no offense man. Were your thoughts really jumbled during/after the trip? During, i'd say. After I felt really calm, a little jumbled, but I figured that's just because the trip was so intense. I actually did more coke that day, and smoked a few bowls. I had absolutely no idea about anything. Crazy stuff. It all seems really retarded now. I've actually recently been feeling better, things visually and mentally are seeming to clear up a little since I've been exercising. Either that or im getting really used to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Smith Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Any of you guys experience fatigue? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 Any of you guys experience fatigue? i did for like a month odd, its kinda coming back, the fatigue proper fucked me. sleeping like 15 hours a day, went fully nocturnal for a while Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Smith Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 yeah man, that shit is seriously crippling, i pretty much spent 6 months on a meal a day in bed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 dam man, im glad mine isnt that bad. eating is an issue though, i get paranoid when i eat for some queer reason Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Smith Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 really? thats weird, i love eating. Except i can't eat things with mushrooms, i always think what if they grew them wrong and they became trippy? hahah...and yeah it sucked it wasnt due to hppd though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nepuinthesky Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 my wife isnt able to cut mushrooms because she cant smell it since the mushi trips^^ i love uncooked mushrooms. i always loved the taste of philosophia stones tastes like nuts and truffle^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 really? thats weird, i love eating. Except i can't eat things with mushrooms, i always think what if they grew them wrong and they became trippy? hahah...and yeah it sucked it wasnt due to hppd though thats pretty wierd, its funny how this makes u question shit in such a wierd way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 Haha in the beginning i never ate outside my own house, i was so sure that 'they' had laced all the food with acid, 4-ho-met or whatever I'm still pretty paranoid... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigron 7 Posted May 10, 2012 Report Share Posted May 10, 2012 i cant eat anything with mushrooms in either,i was that paraniod at one time, if i thought any of my food had been near them i used to make myself vomit. those was in my very early days with this curse.i dont do it anymore,i realise its only psycadelic ones affect you,but when you are so paranoid you can make yourself believe anything is true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted May 11, 2012 Report Share Posted May 11, 2012 its fucking mad how ur brain can turn into what ours have. but it made itself this way, so im sure it can reverse itself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Smith Posted May 11, 2012 Report Share Posted May 11, 2012 Im afraid of goin into my old neighborhood and touching the walls or doors with my hands for fear that this kid i know who used to sell acid mightve touched em right before me...it's pretty OCD, but ive read cases of HPPDers gettin contact highs because our threshold is so low that it really freaks me out even though i realize how crazy it is Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now