cs1234 Posted April 19, 2012 Report Share Posted April 19, 2012 This post has been promoted to an article Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmo Posted April 19, 2012 Report Share Posted April 19, 2012 I feel you man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted April 19, 2012 Report Share Posted April 19, 2012 I feel with you too man! I f you are supposed to vent here well, it just feels so unfair that i got hppd after my second use of hallucinogenes... Whilst many of my friends still do all sorts of drugs whithout any signs what so ever of hppd. I just want to be me again, i barely know how i used to be anymore except i was the really Nice guy with a job, many friends and a loving girlfriend. Noone understands me anymore and it feels so unfair again... Why me or why anyone? I want to be me and get smashed at the bar just waking up the day whithout this damn static everywhere. I want to be able to stay up late whithout having superstrong visuals. I miss the old me... Everyone is noticing my withdrawal behaviour but they can't help, i can't help. I want to join the army and become a officer, but with all the physical and mental pressure that comes with it it's a nogo... Unless i get cured but i will never loose hope. Well that's me, i'm tired of being weak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted April 19, 2012 Report Share Posted April 19, 2012 i must admit i shoulda died a few times from drug use. but my mates are way fucking worse. but sitting sulking wont help i guess. get a sport on the go? i bmx and that helps me vent Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted April 19, 2012 Report Share Posted April 19, 2012 I forgot to mention that if this post doesn't show any value to the forum then mods can feel free to delete it. I think it would be a good idea to have this as the official "Vent" thread for everyone... Let it all out, get angry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferret Posted April 19, 2012 Report Share Posted April 19, 2012 Good luck man! If you ever think about doing drugs again remember what your HPPD/DR/DP/Anxiety was like at its worse and decide if you think it is really worth it to risk being like that permanently. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cs1234 Posted April 19, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2012 Well I feel a lot better now. I'm still getting used to how bipolar hppd makes you...one day "I don't even care about hppd it'll be behind me in a couple months" then the next "I hate hppd why can't I be myself again". Im just thankful it isnt half as bad as some peoples. The anxiety is deffinately getting to me though, hppd doesn't react well with teenage angst. Anyways thanks for the support and I encourage u guys to vent too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmo Posted April 20, 2012 Report Share Posted April 20, 2012 Man that's EXACTLY how I am, it's weird. Today was a horrible day for me.......all I did all day was lay around an hate myself for all my past drug use while yesterday was a pretty good day and I was all optimistic and happy and just knew eventually this is gonna go away. It's just back and forth and back and forth constantly, I hate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted April 20, 2012 Report Share Posted April 20, 2012 It's like å rollercoaster of feelings and symtoms this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
artvandelay Posted April 29, 2012 Report Share Posted April 29, 2012 I also get very bi-polar, in the space of a few hours I'll switch from being completely optimistic to incredibly pessimistic. For me the stress has definitely been the hardest. The last four days my chest has been tight and my heart has been hurting from all the stress I get. Does anyone else get obsessive thought about this? There is one symptom I haven't gotten used to and I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about it. It pops back into my mind pretty constantly and I stay worrying things like I'm never going to get used to this and start looking for it which is even worse. I feel for you all Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cs1234 Posted April 30, 2012 Author Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 The tight chest thing I used to get whenever i smoked pot. It took me a while to realize that funny feeling was anxiety and stress, but I'm glad I did and quit soon afterwards. I know its hard to distract yourself from hppd but u just need to find something to really get yourself engrossed in. If nothing else, try taking long walks outside on sunny days, thats when hppd affects me the least. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ferret Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 I also get very bi-polar, in the space of a few hours I'll switch from being completely optimistic to incredibly pessimistic. For me the stress has definitely been the hardest. The last four days my chest has been tight and my heart has been hurting from all the stress I get. Does anyone else get obsessive thought about this? There is one symptom I haven't gotten used to and I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about it. It pops back into my mind pretty constantly and I stay worrying things like I'm never going to get used to this and start looking for it which is even worse. I feel for you all Chest tightness is a really common anxiety symptom it will pass soon. It was the first symptom I got but passed after a week. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted April 30, 2012 Report Share Posted April 30, 2012 Chest tightness is a really common anxiety symptom it will pass soon. It was the first symptom I got but passed after a week. If it doesn't pass you will learn to ignore it, i've had that feeling for 6 months straight and i can still go for a jog without suffocating, it's not dangerous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 Vent vent vent... Today was a really shitty day overall, anxiety is of the charts and i just can't live with the thought of having this forever. I want my normal vision back and i want things to stop moving, if this doesn't pass in a few months i don't know what the hell i'll do... I'm seeing a shrink tomorrow and maybe i can sort my anxiety out. I miss the time when my biggest concern was getting laid not seeing static everywhere i fucking turn my gaze. Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 U just gotta think of the good days man. Remember u wil always return to bassline or improve so dont worry. Ur handling it like a boss, just gotta take the rough with the smooth and eventually ul be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 Thanks for the support man, and as you said visuals are back to normal now and so is my anxiety Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 good man the red dots were coming back for me this morning, like visual snow has red dots in it. but it went away again....i dont like the dots Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 Fuck dots man! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 u ever had that? colours or patterns in ur snow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 I have it when i stand up from a chair or when i'm training, looks like bloodvessels with cells flowing trough them. Actually i've read about seeing bloodvessels so it's nothing to worry about. I have really read eyes, and when i look in the mirror it looks like bloodvessels are going past my pupils... By the way does anyones pupils dilate and contract (wrong word) constantly? I'm pretty worried about that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 mine kinda do that i wouldnt worry. i sometimes see like dots or fractals in my visual snow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 I think that seeing things in visual snow also is very natural, one of our brain's main assignments is to find patterns, both in events and in what we see. Douchebrain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted May 7, 2012 Report Share Posted May 7, 2012 do u see things in it sometimes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morbide Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 Yeah but only for a few seconds at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nepuinthesky Posted May 11, 2012 Report Share Posted May 11, 2012 I think that seeing things in visual snow also is very natural, one of our brain's main assignments is to find patterns, both in events and in what we see. Douchebrain. sorry but i missed this till now.... thats the best explanation i ever heard of it. this fits like the fist on the eye^^ i have posted a few images on the aspects of brain thread which fits to it. http://hppdonline.co...t-of-the-brain/ the orange is one of the best example for this but also these pictures in picture. here is an example ffor patterns in events: maybe you findthe murderer^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now