An Old Thought

[dukkha]

So, I had originally been planning on writing this thread a while back while I was on a trip through Morocco. When I returned home I found the previous forum to be down, and never got around to writing it down. Not that so much time has past I've sort of lost the energy behind writing this but I figured I had still might as well do it!

I must say that being in Morocco was slightly trippy. It was my first time in Africa, an Arab country, an Islamic country, and a developing country. Needless to say it was a new experience. Things do not work the same way there as they do here (Europe and the US) so I was forced to change the way I view things. On top of this I was drinking a lot of Moroccan tea or Na'na- strong gunpowder green tea (has a bit of a bitter and smokey taste) steeped with fresh mint and about half a kilo of sugar per pot, if you don't know what it is. This fueled my HPPD quite a bit as well as the strains of traveling.

We, my girlfriend and I, retreated to the coast for a few days and were relaxing, enjoying ourself and walking around one night. We went down an alley/street and a young guy started talking to us. He owned the shop right in front of us and was chatting us up about his product. You are pressured to buy something about every half second or so in Morocco, but we were not in a rush and he was nice. His friend came out of the shop and started chatting with us. The topic moved away from his goods and we were invited in for some tea. There was also a young French woman inside, friends of the two guys.

My girlfriend (who funnily enough, just graduated with a International Bussiness degree) was chatting the first guy up about his goods and I was talking with the second guy and the French girl about religion and Islam. We were having a real interesting conversation and his ideas about Islam ranged from the traditional to the mystical to conspiracy theories. I was also sharing with them some of my ideas and questions that I've gathered from my studies (I study Religious Studies) at University. I was telling them how I don't drink too much caffeine - we had returned to talking about their special tea mixture they were sharing with us and were trying to sell us. This is where I got surprised. He said it was the same with him. He told me, with a mix of reluctancy and secretivitiy, that he's used LSD and other drugs at partys and when he drinks coffee he feels like he is back on those drugs. I tried to communicate it was the exact same with him. I was shocked and I'm not sure how much I communicated or if he understood.

I was thinking about trying to talk to him one on one, or give him the address to the forum, or something. He wasn't in crisis mode or anything but I thought he might like to have it. In the end I just let it be and we left.

This got me thinking a lot about the other people who have HPPD and have had these experiences.

We did end up buying some of the tea mix from his friend the next day. My girlfriend is a damn fine bargainer!

There were also a lot of people using inhalants. People breathing in and out of a plastic bag with who knows what. I even saw a young kid doing it.

I guess a lot of us are lucky to have such comfortable environments to deal with our problems. I don't want to make asssumptions about everyone, but I know all I had to deal with ontop of my HPPD was a few classes at university. Everything else was taken care of me. Theres a lot of people who don't have it so damn easy and probably have the same, if not worse, problems that me/us. A lot of us have access to get health care and resources that other might now have.

I think thats basically what was on my mind a few months ago. I'm glad I wrote it and I would be honored to hear if anyone has any comments!

Love

Dukka

[Pr_J]

Nice story!

[balance]

I understand your point and it is a good one and I think it is a thought that goes through a lot of peoples heads when they are suffering, I know it is true for my self at least.

Think of it like this, you see these third world countires with horrible conditions but you see the people happy and laughing, it may not seem as comfortable as what some other people are living in but just because they are in bad conditions (that is the opinion of people usally living comfortablly) Now think of someone who is living comfortabally but is severly depressed and suicidal, do these people have a better life?

While I'm not personally depressed/suicidal anymore, I did talk to a friend about it and it got them angry telling me it is selfish and this and that which I replied along the line of having to find something everyday to stop me from doing it, they then said "there are people that have it worse than you" which really means "you're suffering doesn't matter because you are living comfortable"

Suffering is in the mind and while the enviromental conditions do have an impact you will always here of people living good lives under extreme circumstances. Sure, you could give me a billion dollars and I could have everything I wanted, but that doesn't get rid of the suffering.

I also think its weird when people justify their suffering because someone else has it worse off, sure it's good to know you're not the only one going through something but saying it's okay because someone else has it worse strikes me as very weird, it makes me want to help these people rather than using it as a comfort.

Sorry, went on a bit of a rant lol.

[mutts]

I think part of the problem, at least in the States, is that we aren't allowed to suffer. It is seen as weak and selfish. In other places suffering is so ubiquitous that it is not scorned but rather accepted as an intrinsic part of the human experience. They have done studies that found schizophrenics fare better in societies where they are accepted than they do in the developed world. I can certainly understand why since here we don't want to acknowledge the existence of anything that is imperfect let alone incorporate it into our culture. I almost feel as if I have an obligation to be happy all the time and that I am not normal if I am not. This just compounds the problem even more as suffering is so intimately tied to my life that I must find a place for it. How are we supposed to accept something we aren't even allowed to acknowledge?

[mutts]

On a side note...does anyone else hate the Nietzsche quote "that which does not kill us makes us stronger" ? When people say this to me I just think that they have no idea what it is like to really suffer. Funny how people use that frequently in the third person as well as in reference to ephemeral circumstances but rarely in regards to their own personal suffering. If something can be pithy and trite all at the same time, this quote certainly is.

[propat45]

@mutts

I know what you're saying about that quote, but I think it depends on the level of suffering.  It's kind of like, you make mistakes and you learn from them, and therefore, you are a stronger as a person.  As an example, I had a girl break my heart, but I learned a lot from the experience.  With LAPD, the "mistake" of taking drugs is so apparent to us 24/7 that it feels like a curse.  

[minderbinder141]

@mutts

Great insight!

The "obligation to be happy" is dead accurate.

the pressure my parents put on me to be perfecty happy all the time is hard.

I've had to hide my suffering around them at all times and it makes it so much worse...