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Have had hppd 9 years and wondering if MDMA could help

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To give you some background I've had hppd since around 2009 after taking a large dose of mushrooms( 5 grams or more). Prior to this I smoked weed frequently, drank, and had tripped 5 or so times. The initial trip was fine with some ups and downs nothing too traumatic, but afterwords I could definitely tell something was off. After the comedown my symptoms continued to get worse over several months, ranging from full blown trips to static, visual distortions, Dp/Dr, depression, and anxiety. From here my life was pretty much shattered I lost my job, girlfriend, dropped out of school, and had to go live with my parents. 

After that first year my symptoms started to improve. I was able to get a job and moved out for a while. Over the next couple of years I continued working and no longer saw objects moving and my overall head was in a better place(still had visual snow and dp/dr). During this time I only drank alcohol, which helped with some of the symptoms. I quit my job few years later due to too much anxiety, but at that point none of the other symptoms were nearly as bad. Anyway to shorten the story I've had a few jobs since then and most of my symptoms are completely gone and have been for several years. The only symptoms I have left is occasional visual snow(only if I look for it), mild dp/dr, and anxiety, but its not constant like it used to be. I'm at the point where none of these problems really bother me. I pretty much feel like I don't have hppd anymore and haven't had any major episodes in several years. My problem is though I still don't feel like myself. 

I was wondering if anyone out there has had a similar situation where they are pretty much symptom free and have took MDMA years later and were OK. I want to try a  normal dose but not sure if its worth the risk. To add I have done some drugs over the past couple of years but none have added or worsened any of my symptoms. Just made me feel bad while i was on it. I'm not doing this for the high, I'm hoping to clear up some mental problems that have been bothering me.

Sorry for the long post. Any advice or response would be appreciated, thanks.

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Sounds like a bad idea to me. I mean I know the research about mdma being used therapeutically but "I'm hoping to clear up some mental problems" I'm just not sure how you're going to do that by dosing. What are you actually trying to achieve and can it be cleared up through non drug means?

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Thanks for the reply. I'm trying to clear up some dp/dr and speech problems. I know it sounds stupid to try MDMA since some people have got hppd from it. But I have read that it can help with PTSD and in some ways hppd seems similar. I have never done it before and only plan on doing it once. I'm curious if anyone that has had hppd for awhile and been in a similar boat as me has done MDMA years later and had positive results. I'm not sure if it can be cleared up by non drug means. I've been trying to fix these problems for awhile.

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MDMA turned my hppd into something much, much worse. Don;t risk it.

Even if 10 people come here and tell you success stories (they wont)... You might be the 1 person that it spirals into hell on earth.

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Im an example of someone that mdma helped a lot, before i got hppd. My hppd was getting better, i got it from lsd no dpdr no anxiety just mild vs and ghosting And some patterning and my cevs were basically gone. So i thought maybe im in the clear? I was wrong. I did the mdma felt the anxiety pile on, i was extremely itchy. Flash forward to now, i now have tracers longer afterimages, ghosting is worse and vs is worse. Im glad i did it now tho, because i was mentally addicted to it, before i did it and worsened my hppd i kept saying i cant wait to do molly again. Well guess what? Never again will i touch it. Just my personal experience. I likely wouldve been free of hppd by month 8. Now i dont know if itll ever go away.  

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