raiahm1

Is this HPPD? Any Advice?

8 posts in this topic

Hey everyone, I'm not sure what I'm experiencing, but it seems like it could possibly be a mild case of HPPD. It all started over 3 months ago when I tripped on acid for the first time. I took a tab (about 100 micrograms) with three of my other friends, and we all started to have great trips. I would say the trip lasted roughly 8 hours. It was pretty fun -- I experienced the normal euphoria and slight to moderate visuals. However, once our trips ended, we all decided to smoke bit of weed. That was where I knew we had fucked up. Our trips instantaneously came back, and this time, the trip felt way crazier than it had before. I tried to play it off cooly, but anxiety, fear, and panic started to overcome me. At one point, I thought I couldn't breathe anymore. However, I did my best to stay calm and not let my fear get the best of me. Finally, after about 4-5 hours, I started coming down and feeling much better. I was able to go to sleep that night.

The next day when I woke up, I had an absolutely severe migraine on the right side of my head. It lasted about 9 days. Ever since then, I've still been experiencing some lightheadedness and discomfort in my head, but that has slowly been going away and is pretty much gone by now. Next, I had been experiencing severe visual distortion in my right eye (probably due to the migraine), and 3 months later, I would say that the visual distortion is about 80% gone. It had seemed like my right eye was looking through a fishbowl at the time. The first couple of months were honestly hell. I fell into severe depression and had bad anxiety. I suffered from dp/dr for a while as well. I was suicidal almost everyday during this period. I went to an ophthalmologist, physician, and neurologist during this time; all said to wait out my symptoms to see if they improve before trying medications. 

Here are my current symptoms:

1. Increased sensitivity to light (I've started wearing sunglasses everyday that I go outside now)

2. Slight halos and starbursts (especially from streetlights, headlights, and reflections of the sun) during the day and night which make it difficult to see sometimes

3. Slight breathing in patterns and walls (have gotten much better than they were 3 months ago)

4. Words/objects moving when I'm looking at them (have gotten better in the last 3 months, but it's still distracting)

5. Visual distortion in my right eye (it seems to be improving everyday, so hopefully it continues to improve)

6. Somewhat blurry vision in my right eye

7. I started having very vivid dreams ever since the acid trip

8. The occasional bouts of depression/anxiety due to my symptoms

My family and friends (especially my girlfriend) have been super supportive of me during my recovery. I have been sober since the acid trip (though I did get drunk a few weeks ago), I have been eating healthy, I have been exercising 3-4 days a week, and I have been staying focused on my summer classes and on relaxing with my friends and family. Prior to the acid trip, I would smoke weed every few days. I am also 18 and just completed my first year of university. 

Has anyone experienced any of these symptoms? Has anyone been able to recover from them? Any tips, advice, etc. would be greatly appreciated. I'm tired of this, and I want it to go.

Thank you all so much!

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You sound somewhat like me. It's been six months, and I can tell you one thing for sure.

It gets much much better.

In retrospect, I was really shaken and worried and never thought I'd reach this point. So firstly, don't worry - the body and mind are complex and they take time. Just help the process by eating nutritious food, exercise (which you already are doing) and reducing caffeine intake. I would also strongly recommend meditation. I can't possibly explain how much it has helped me. You could probably just download an app to help you get started quickly. I'd suggest the app 'Headspace'.

For me, apart from starbursts and very slight sensitivity to light almost all symptoms have gone away. Continue with absolutely not smoking pot. And try staying away from alcohol too, because it does hinder the recovery process, but yeah I did end up drinking a couple of times. Keep yourself occupied and don't worry bud. :)

 

 

 

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1 hour ago, Kraffay said:

You sound somewhat like me. It's been six months, and I can tell you one thing for sure.

It gets much much better.

In retrospect, I was really shaken and worried and never thought I'd reach this point. So firstly, don't worry - the body and mind are complex and they take time. Just help the process by eating nutritious food, exercise (which you already are doing) and reducing caffeine intake. I would also strongly recommend meditation. I can't possibly explain how much it has helped me. You could probably just download an app to help you get started quickly. I'd suggest the app 'Headspace'.

For me, apart from starbursts and very slight sensitivity to light almost all symptoms have gone away. Continue with absolutely not smoking pot. And try staying away from alcohol too, because it does hinder the recovery process, but yeah I did end up drinking a couple of times. Keep yourself occupied and don't worry bud. :)

 

 

 

Thanks for your response! Can you tell me a little about your symptoms? Did the symptoms go away or have they just become less noticeable?

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3 hours ago, raiahm1 said:

Thanks for your response! Can you tell me a little about your symptoms? Did the symptoms go away or have they just become less noticeable?

1) Light sensitivity - It was hard to drive when the sun was out but now its extremely mild to the point i don't notice it.

2) I can still see starbursts from distant lights at night.

3) Reading was annoying for the first two months but its just like pre HPPD now.

4) There was intense DP/DR, anxiety, depression but after the 3rd month it all began to fade away. Now it isn't there at all. I think it was the meditation that helped.

5) I didn't have much visual distortion and on the odd occasion when i would notice it i tried to ignore it. But i still have very mild visual snow which increases with caffeine intake.

Now point 2 is the only reminder of my HPPD, but 

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On 6/21/2017 at 6:20 AM, Kraffay said:

**but hopefully it goes away too.

Now that your symptoms have pretty much subsided, have you been able to start smoking again or drinking? Have you been able to feel like you're living your life normally, prior to getting HPPD? Thank you so much for the advice, I think I will start meditating to relieve stress

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I haven't smoked.. a little over 6 months have passed since my last puff of cigarette/weed. I don't intend on smoking even if it goes away completely, hopefully this can be a positive that I carry forward from this really shitty condition. From what I've read on here weed does interfere a lot with the recovery process. I've had alcohol 3-4 times since this happened. If its just a couple of beers nothing much happens really. Its a very slight difference the next day. But there was this night I drank a lot.. it really fucked me up for a week. I'd strongly recommend to stay away from alcohol for as long as possible. 

And yes I'd say I feel normal almost pre HPPD like now. I just really miss coffee and dark chocolate, and staring out of the balcony at night sucks cuz of the starburst effect. Other than this everything seems okay for now

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On 6/22/2017 at 7:51 PM, raiahm1 said:

Now that your symptoms have pretty much subsided, have you been able to start smoking again or drinking? Have you been able to feel like you're living your life normally, prior to getting HPPD? Thank you so much for the advice, I think I will start meditating to relieve stress

If your only hope for getting rid of hppd is to start smoking and drinking again, youre gonna recover and be back in no time.

Your best bet is to stay away from psychoactive substances.

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