Charlie

Selfish cry for help

4 posts in this topic

Hey guys.

I've had HPPD for 3 years now and I've only seen things get worse and am running out of options.

I'll go through a list of things I've given up aswell as a list of good habits I've taken up. By doing this I thought maybe I could get some help from one of you lot :) as I said this is a selfish cry for help.

16 months ago I gave up drink and drugs and have been 100% T total since. I've also cut back heavily on smoking cigarettes.

Since then I've taken up daily meditation and religiously practiced mindfulness and many other spiritual practices.

I go to intense hypnotherapy once a weak.

I've tried SSRI's and benzodiazepines. Both of which made me worse.

I eat incredibly healthily and exercise regularly. 

I make sure I do not focus on it and I practice acceptance of the horrible thing daily.

HOWEVER, I am still getting worse and my visuals are roughly 20 X worse then when they started 3 years ago.

If anyone could let me know of anything else I should know or if anything I might be doing wrong then please let me know. I'd be infinitely grateful.

~~~ I have learned some valuable skills through intensive therapy and meditation so I may be able to return the favour if I hear from you. Sadly 3 years of hardcore commitment is unfortunately not enough in my case and I'm at about breaking point. 

 

Much Love out to all you HPPDers

Thank you, Charlie 

 

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Not selfish in the slightest.  You're doing the two things that really helped me (meditation and sobriety).  In the first 10 years of having visuals after quitting drugs I had a lot of ups and downs.  Sometimes my visuals were terrible but then it would moderate for a while.  I've never taken meds for hppd so I can't comment on that.  What really helped me was staying focused.  For a time I was almost regimented going to school, raising kids, working, etc.  Now I'm just an old burnout who takes life as it comes.  I don't know if that helps at all.  The visuals can be tough to deal with but I've found that the brain adapts it's own filter so they're not as noticeable.  It just takes a while.  Take care and hang in.

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Thank you Maddoc. This has helped. As you probably know it's the tough times when the visuals seem like that's all you know when I really struggle but fortunanlty today I was level enough to take in what you had to say. Thank you and all the best.

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I think living these days being at the breaking point is a baseline condition.  There is just so much stress.  Jobs are competitive, traffic is crazy, all the machinery makes so much noise, we're treated like cattle, etc.  What's that Dylan lyric?  Something like "the heart attack macine".  Throw in hppd and being at the tipping point isn't difficult to reach.  However, life, even with hppd can be productive and a great joy.  For me, it's all about staying focused and committed to things that I come by naturally and the things that make me happy.  I'm also unapologetic about being a misfit space shot.  When I start feeling like I'm at my breaking point I rely on my family and the great outdoors to keep the balance.  I also babble a lot as is evident in my posts (:

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