Brandon91

Finally a name

7 posts in this topic

I truly don't even know where to begin. I am typing this to see if somebody can relate to my symptoms.  I am 25 years old. This is something that happened when I was 14 years old. I used to smoke pot all of the time. I remember my brother let me smoke pot with him when I was in 4th grade. I thought I was so bad ass lol. So stupid when I look back now. Anyhoo this night I was hanging out with one of my friends and I swear to you he was rolling a blunt and said that he needed to put it in the freezer?  Anyways we went out to the car and I sat in the back seat because his brother was with us. After I had taken a few big hits all of a sudden I felt like I was unbelievably far away from.the front of the dashboard.  I started freaking out and got out of the car and sat down on his door step . My heart had never raced this fast in my life. I got up to go to the car window and it truly felt as if the car was as big as a house and I was light years away.  I actually went home and told my mother because I thought I was dying. The next day everything felt okay until while I was sitting down eating dinner on the couch it happened again. It would happen spiraticlly and i would have these aweful aweful panic attacks even sometimes to where I couldn't walk. I would literally lay on the couch feeling as if I was watching life through somebody else's eyes. Like i was there in body but not in mind . Even to this day I feel as if I watch life go by instead of living my life and actually perceiving things the way I did before this. Only when i have a panic attack do I have the actual tunnel vision and things appearing so far away and bigor small. However I feel so disconnected from reality. Emotionally it is just blank.  My last doc appt I explained this to my psychiatrist as I didn't want to sound like a psycho telling anybody. It has been 11 years I have lived with this. I manage just fine now as long as I do not let myself get to panicky and wind up going through the hell of a hullucinaton that comes along with it. 

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Yeah, I'm no doctor but it sure sounds like a bad case of Depersonlization-Derealization with perhaps a little Alice in Wonderland Syndrome mixed in. I've had horrendous macropsia since getting HPPD, so I know how you feel. 

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The strong MJ that's been available for years gives me horrible panic attacks and it makes my heart race.  I've only indulged about half a dozen times since i "stopped" using drugs and haven't touched it again in a long long  time.  I'm curious, was the only drug you were using MJ?  While I don't react well to it when it wears off, it wears off.  My hppd came into being when i started using psychedelics when at 14.

Edited by MadDoc
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At that time it was strictly pot. But that night after the fact I was told it was laced with something called wet.  Or that's what they thought cause the 1 people I had smoked it with said they really felt weird when they smoked it also. 

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PCP can rattle anyone for a while.  I knowingly took it once (tablet form) and unknowingly a few more times.  I found the effects to be really scary.  Then again there are people who swear by it.  Everyone is different.  I have no idea if it can cause hppd.  Note, I'm no expert on hppd though I've lived with it for a long time.

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