5 posts in this topic

Help! I have a very extreme case of HPPD!

It all started when I took LSD for about 3 months ago, I was planning on taking 120ug which is a medium dose, but the tab I bought must have been around 800-1200ug. Some say that's good because, "Hey! More acid for less the price!" but in this case, fuck no. I had the worst experience of my life while never tripped so hard before. It was absolutely terrifying and insane. After that trip I decided, being the stupid 19 year old that I am with bad habits, I dropped acid again after about 1 week. I thought hey, this time it is around 100ug (Some friends did it the night before) and I should have a tolerance against it so the same thing can't happen again, guess what? It happend again! I tripped mega balls on 100ug of LSD, I got an level 4 psychedelic experience out of it, also a badtrip. 

I've been laying off all substances excluding nicotine and caffeine, but my HPPD just gets worse by the day. It started off pretty extreme, but now it's much worse. 
MY SYMPTOMS FOR ABOUT 2 MONTHS AGO
Visual snow, morphing of objects, anxiety, seeing demonic like figures, advanced patterns in walls and shrinking and growing of objects
MY SYMPTOMS NOW
Visual snow, more extreme and advanced morphing of objects, seeing more demonic like figures, auditory hallucinations, floaters, light beams falling from the sky, more anxiety, seeing objects rotate and morph into advanced structures, I feel like I'm falling into an endless pit when i try to sleep and much more.

Have anyone here had symptoms on the same level? If so, please tell me how you got over it, or how you're coping with it. Because right now, I just want to die. And I think it would be sad if I actually go all the way with that thought, I want to live longer than 19-20 years. 

Wish you all the best of luck!

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My HPPD was pretty bad when I first got it, also from LSD. I had most of the same symptoms you have as well as many others and a severe case of depersonalization. I literally thought I was dreaming every day of my life and couldn't tell what reality was anymore. 

The best advice I can give you is to be patient. Read up and down these boards, especially recovery stories, and stay as far away from drugs as possible. Whatever you do don't make an emotional decision about whether you want to live or die. You need to give yourself a lot of time in order to improve, years even. Just keep in mind you can recover as long as you live a healthy lifestyle, although it may take a while. Nothing in life is permanent! 

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My hppd sounds a similar level and still is after 20 years, but don't panic. I carried on drug use for years after a severe trip on a microdot that first took me to this level of hppd... You have done the right thing and stopped now, so you have a far better chance of recovering. Just do everything you can to avoid stress, if you have to quit work/college or whatever for a while, do it.

If you are a strong minded individual, I would probably recommend getting some benzos to give yourself a break 2-3 days a week.... This will also help you get a sleep rythmn back, which will help your recovery (maybe get some melatonin too). Be sure to fully research benzo use though, it will seem like a magic bullet and is all too easy to start using everyday. Having an addiction and withdrawals along with severe hppd is probably a living hell though. Plenty of horror stories on here, be sure to read them, if you do go down this route.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I did lots of drugs at a very young age, many hallucinogens, I believe a series of bad and strong LSD trips led to my HPPD, I just have visual snow and some distortion now but only if I focus and look for it will I notice these days

When I was about 17-19 I was going through the terror you're going though right now and wanted to end my life many times, I saw red spots and demons at night, the popcorn celing would ungulate and shape shift, I would hear explosion sounds in the center of my mind, there was a time where music loops were stuck in my head for months at a time as well and I used sleeping pills to try and keep myself sedated as much as possible so I didn't have to cope with my damaged reality, I wish I could tell you it was easy but it probably took about 5-7 years before it got to the point where it wasn't distracting or bothersome I'm sure my 5 year addiction to meth amphetamine from the ages of 12-17 played a part in the long recovery of my brain chemistry as well, BTW I'm 39 now.

Hang in there man, and maybe do as the guy above said and use some benzos to alleviate some of the symptoms but don't get addicted to those because it's easy to do, only use them in dire emergencies... time will heal it buddy, don't give up I know where you are now and it's not a good place, it's scary as fuck to be honest.

 

0

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know it's really difficult but I'd try give up caffeine and nicotine for awhile cause they made my symptoms a lot worse overtime especially the anxiety which basically in turn makes you notice your other symptoms more and makes hppd a lot worse. Don't give up man you have to give it time and trust me it will get better try stay natural without any pharmaceutical drugs unless you really really need it.

My symptoms at the beginning were as extreme if not more so than yours, I was almost like in a full blown acid trip all day everyday, with pretty much no sleep, severe dp/dr to the point I thought I died and was living in a dream, and anxiety attacks 4-5 times a day and severe anxiety that just would not shift, I stupidly gave in after just over a month and got prescribed clonazepam which really works but I took it everyday for well over a year now and am now dependent on it so if you are going to take some type of benzo listen to jay's advice he has a good schedule for not becoming addicted which I wish I'd seen before I started. I'm currently weaning myself off very slowly and it's very difficult. But good luck man things do get better just stay sober, eat right and workout hard and have a hobby or something to distract your mind.

1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now