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Enjoying Weed Again ! Buspirone Working Well


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youre right...i will do so in the near future....but i always think my life shouldnt be a constant battle for survival..there must be something i could really enjoy without doubt...but there is almost nothing and even the things i do enjoy are just not worth talking about..cause thats not what pleasure really means to me..i guess i have to force myself to smoke big amounts of weed again, as a kind of shock therapy since that also causes anxiety for me, whereas before my onset i usually enjoyed it and so far i have no problems enjoying small amounts these days.. in my first few month even a tiny peace of weed or tobacco (not even noticable for normal people) caused me severe panic attacks...so there must be something i can do to get me back to normal completely..dont you think?

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i guess i have to force myself to smoke big amounts of weed again, as a kind of shock therapy since that also causes anxiety

 

I tried that, it doesn't seem to get any better, though we are all different.

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exposure, dont think too much, think diffirent

what do you mean exactly?

 

 

I tried that, it doesn't seem to get any better, though we are all different

youre right...we are all different but there is one thing we all share ..anxiety..though its a different reason for everybody..so i think there are different solutions to this for every individual

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  • 2 weeks later...

If you have had HPPD, then you have a genetic predisposition to the disorder. If you are in remission you are not cured because you still have the same genetic predisposition which allowed you to get HPPD in the first place. If you know you have a genetic predisposition (everyone on this forum does), then the only sensible choice is to avoid drugs for the rest of your life. Especially drugs which, time and time again, users have reported as worsening symptoms permanently. Just because you are fine after one use does not mean you will be fine after the next use.

 

If you cannot resist the urge to continue to take drugs then you should seek professional help.

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If you have had HPPD, then you have a genetic predisposition to the disorder. If you are in remission you are not cured because you still have the same genetic predisposition which allowed you to get HPPD in the first place. If you know you have a genetic predisposition (everyone on this forum does), then the only sensible choice is to avoid drugs for the rest of your life. Especially drugs which, time and time again, users have reported as worsening symptoms permanently. Just because you are fine after one use does not mean you will be fine after the next use.

 

If you cannot resist the urge to continue to take drugs then you should seek professional help.

you do not know if its genetic + its very hard to abstain all mind altering substances for the rest of life because its just human nature to experiment with altered states of mind...i dont have hppd anymore but i dont fear to get it back because i already had terrible trips on pretty potent canna oil etc. and it didnt come back.. even though i smoke weed here and there (in small amounts again because i get panic attacks from smoking more)..the thing i do avoid is to do strong mind altering substances and smoking too much weed because as mentioned already i fear panic attacks.

 

the point is i dont recommend taking drugs but i dont try to scare somebody who does and is able to enjoy it..because i think spreading anxiety can also make it worse for some people.

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We are not scaring people, here most of us have/had HPPD. I don't go to forums about drugs telling users to stop or moderate. I did weeks long amphetamine binges stopping to eat and sleep something every three days, and my HPPD wasn't that bad!! I did that after one year with low level HPPD. I don't even fucking know when my HPPD crossed the line and I was completely retarded and messed up. I was so into drugs that I didn't know what was normal anymore..

 

Bang on mate, this is exactly where I was 20+ years ago... So far into the drug life that I couldn't even differentiate between come downs, highs and mental disorders.

 

I don't think I have seen one person on here who is "scaring" people off drugs for any reason other than empathy and compassion, based on our own mistakes with drugs. 

 

Just be thankful that to have the internet, where you can get information from people who have been there, done that. Some of us didn't have such a luxury.

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This forum was down when my symptoms first presented themselves. I wish I had the warnings others are lucky enough to get. I had comparatively minor symptoms of just visual snow and BFEP at first. I continued to occasionally smoke weed and take MDMA (I was never a big user), as well as drink a lot of alcohol. I cannot be sure what caused the spike but a few months later I developed a whole variety of other visual and non-visual symptoms. At the time I felt very ill. I then ceased all drugs (including alcohol), and tried to live as healthy as I could. Over a few months I recovered fully from some non-visual symptoms (e.g. head pressure, severe headaches, some trippy feelings that are hard to explain). I was then left with residual visual symptoms and some non-visual symptoms such as fasciculations, chronic pain and minor tinnitus. By steering well clear of all drugs, these symptoms have remained stable for several years and by taking Keppra I have mostly eliminated the pain as a factor.

 

At my worst, I was unable to function at all. My life would have been a shambles. I am now able to mostly live as someone who does not have HPPD. The fear of being put back into a situation where I am not function and would not be able to achieve my life goals completely eliminates any desire I have to take drugs ever again in my life.

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Human nature shit. Less than 5% of the population take a psychedelic *ever* in their life. There is plenty of people who don't try alcohol *ever* in their life. So yeah, there you go. You may not have HPPD again, but don't delude yourself into thinking that drugs are *safe*. Even more, don't delude yourself into thinking that drugs are *necessary*

We are not scaring people, here most of us have/had HPPD. I don't go to forums about drugs telling users to stop or moderate. I did weeks long amphetamine binges stopping to eat and sleep something every three days, and my HPPD wasn't that bad!! I did that after one year with low level HPPD. I don't even fucking know when my HPPD crossed the line and I was completely retarded and messed up. I was so into drugs that I didn't know what was normal anymore.. One year ago I wasn't able to look outside of the window due to the strong patterning I saw on the walls, the cables and clothesline leaving colors, afterimages.. I know I'm better because I can look outside of the window now.

Gman, do what you can. Been there, done that. I just say to you that it's by sheer luck that I didn't commit suicide or ruined my life completely. Your mileage may vary.

man when i said experimenting with altered states i didnt just talk about the group of substances called psychedelics...i mean every kind of substance that puts you in another state of mind...and most if not all people have tryed or will try or even consume something regulary in their lives.

 

i never said drugs are necessary or safe and i dont even think this way...but they arent the opposite either...and constantly telling someone they are dangerous who is taking them regardless of what you say (and he got told hundrets of times already) means spreading anxiety to me..or is useless in the best case.

 

but its ok i know you just want to protect someone from experiencing the same shit you did..

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This forum was down when my symptoms first presented themselves. I wish I had the warnings others are lucky enough to get. I had comparatively minor symptoms of just visual snow and BFEP at first. I continued to occasionally smoke weed and take MDMA (I was never a big user), as well as drink a lot of alcohol. I cannot be sure what caused the spike but a few months later I developed a whole variety of other visual and non-visual symptoms. At the time I felt very ill. I then ceased all drugs (including alcohol), and tried to live as healthy as I could. Over a few months I recovered fully from some non-visual symptoms (e.g. head pressure, severe headaches, some trippy feelings that are hard to explain). I was then left with residual visual symptoms and some non-visual symptoms such as fasciculations, chronic pain and minor tinnitus. By steering well clear of all drugs, these symptoms have remained stable for several years and by taking Keppra I have mostly eliminated the pain as a factor.

 

At my worst, I was unable to function at all. My life would have been a shambles. I am now able to mostly live as someone who does not have HPPD. The fear of being put back into a situation where I am not function and would not be able to achieve my life goals completely eliminates any desire I have to take drugs ever again in my life.

that sounds awful...im so sorry...

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Bang on mate, this is exactly where I was 20+ years ago... So far into the drug life that I couldn't even differentiate between come downs, highs and mental disorders.

 

I don't think I have seen one person on here who is "scaring" people off drugs for any reason other than empathy and compassion, based on our own mistakes with drugs. 

 

Just be thankful that to have the internet, where you can get information from people who have been there, done that. Some of us didn't have such a luxury.

you are right its really good to have the internet just for diagnosing yourself and get some recommendations...but sometimes i think its a curse...

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