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Purps

I guess I should do this...

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My HPPD started recently, but I've always had a mild form of it. I remember from a very young age telling my mom I saw people's "angels" (I was raised Catholic so that's what I thought). Not Catholic now, but I was seeing halos and VS as early as the age of 3. This past year or so I really got into LSD and mushrooms. That's when the HPPD hit be head on. I dropped over a dozen times but it wasn't until my first bad trip that the HPPD stuck. For about 3 weeks I had panic attacks every day, suicidal thoughts, and more. I was desperate for, answers for help, our at least some understanding. Then I found this place. It's been very helpful knowing that there are others who know what I'm going through! I felt so alone! Some days are better than others but I still really sruggle. I find myself more and more withdrawing from people and activities I once enjoyed. It feels like my life is slipping away, who I was, what I thought defined me, my passions and zest for life has drastically dulled. Just taking it one day at a time, I suppose it's all I can really do.

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Hello and thanks for sharing. I have a similar story. HPPD for a little over a year now from LSD and mushrooms.

 

Interesting how you say you feel like your life is slipping away. I can relate. Things will never go back to the way they were. The enjoyment of simple pleasures, the relaxed anxiety free moments just hanging out with friends. Or just watching a movie and forgetting your surroundings.

 

Well, even though this might not coming back the same way, I'm hoping that life can be good in other ways. Things I used to enjoy I am no longer enjoying, like taking drugs, partying, hanging out, smoking cigarettes. Now I am starting to enjoy stuff I didn't before, healthy stuff like working out, eating healthy and being in nature. Perhaps life is not as pleasurable as before, but in some ways there is a lot more life in me now.

 

Wish you the best in your recovery.

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