Hello, community!

[LosAndreas36]

Hello people. I'm from Russia, yeah i know english, but not perfect, but i hope you can understand and help me okay, i tried some kind of psychedelic drug in january 2014. Dosage was 30 mg, white powder. Trip was nice but after i felt headache (often after effect of that drug). It was 2c i think or something, with beatiful visuals but not very deep. Then i started to experience some strange things. It was looking like my IQ droped down. I was slow, really easy stared at 1 point in front my eyes, it was really difficul to turn my sight away (like indica stone, you know). it was like in  foggy dream i guess, i think it was derealization. subjectivly it was hard to concentrate and think. also when i was "stoned" (it really pissed me off because it's easy to get stone, even in toilet, or at traffic light. some visual noice, floaters, and shit was noticable, but i'll tell more about this later.  but those symptoms gone, idk how and when. then i did some cubensis, but cake was moldy, and i thought my kidneys problem was about eating shrooms from moldy cake, but before cubensis i was in car accident, and i think that was kidney problem, but motuh ago i was in hospital for week, my kidneys are good so, i ate them, it was best trip in my life. i alwasy reministing about it, and i want almost to cry. then i ate them 3 times more (last time in june). in july, i tried euphoric stimulant, after that was few days very heavy hangover,(slowness, i guess even derealization, i was tired because no sleep, and even after sleep i was feeling like i was in hell and came back) i thought i did damage to my brain. but it was gone i guess, can't really remember. then i did shroms again (beggining of August), cake was moldy too (if you are don't know, it must be without any contamination, but in wild shrooms are growing with mold and other shrooms, so they are no sterile, i think that is not problem) trip was difficult, bad one, but after i felt myself good or neutral (can't really remember my feelings after trip)..then, in few weeks, smoothly started feel weird. some stone feelings, some slowness. after that i smoked marijuana, like 10 or more times in september, marijuana coming down and hangover was really weird, also very strange thoughts while high, like i'm fucking mental patient..then i did weed again (in middle october) with 17 cubensis shrooms, i did not remember alot, but it was not bad trip (even euphoric bcz of weed i guess) with hangover and headache next day (some experience hangover even from weed, like me in last mouths, and with shrooms it's not very surprising...)..so i'll tell what i feel now

1. slowness (but now not. after some coffeine i feel better and even can dance, but mind still slow or weird, like in smoke you know), slowed thinking (subjectivly) 

2. feel myself like brain damaged or oligophrenic, while can speak even on philosophical themes, even not in my main language,(sorry guys, my english not ideal, i think i can practise with you guys)

3. visual things like floaters, some visual noice, afterimages when look at sky (sky seems bright, sometimes very), light, or even on just things, or when coming in dark room. also very strange feeling when i look on geometric things like exercise book (square sheet), a regular square tiles, sometimes wallpaper looks strange (wallpapers i think because of snow) , or even my jacket, sleeve on pereferic sight it can flash or look weird, i can't explain it, it can move or just look weird. i think some traces but not very heavy. almost everything, except afterimages and noice is when i'm stoned (look down what i mean by stoned)

when i look at the some pages (websites with wavy structure or even if not wavy), and turn my eyes away, i can see wavy or fluted shit in few seconds, like 5 or about so. it's afterimage? if yes, i experience it often. it's like you watch the sun, and you can spot after it,. when i look at words, i notice them like they outlined or with halo, can't say if its visual noice or something else. blue field entopic, but i think it's normal. 

 

 

just tried to stare at wallpaper for few seconds, noice, and it's very strange, few of the pieces of wallpaper changes, it's maybe because of light, not everywhere i can see that. i think i experienced something like this while trippin shhroms

4. in centre of sight some little sparks sometimes, it's hard to notice, or that because of visual snow idk they are pretty same

5.memory is bad, can forget words or things, but i heard derealization may be reason

6. main, (with mind slow and bad memory, and staring in point in front of my eyes, like indica stone,) the derealization (or maybe it's not). world seems distant, mind is foggy, really foggy, everything is not like it have to be. like i'm under hood, not just visual perception is distant , mind is foggy and distant too. year ago i experienced shit like that, ( i even came to psychiatrist) and i was also experiencing feeling of no thought, "empty head"

7. sometimes hard to speak, idk why, voice seems weird, i can say shit inapposite, or say something without any reasons, so i'm very inapposite. sometimes forget words. (probably depersonalization? voice seems weird )

8. hypochondria and paranoia, i think i'm brain damaged, oligophrenic, schizophrenia, and other mental disorders. people often say something against me, or wanted to call cops and shit (even if they are not, i think they are going to do bad things, or watch out for cars, even sometimes watch for cops. no hallucination just suspicion and mistrust. (there is reasons for worry, but not so paranoid)

9.after run (i started running, thought that this will help me) i felt myself really worse, stoned as fuck and fogged. it's getting worse after physical exercise. also i think i'm feeling myself better tonight than after waking up.

10. when stoned, and my eyes stare at 1 point, then can unfocus and it's really hard sometimes to move my body (even when my eyes stoned i can type, that what i'm doing now, sometimes hard to move in another pose, while can speak and do something, so body and sight are "nailed". also strange feeling in body (like i'm becoming stone, excatly stone, or froze)

11. some headaches but it's maybe bcz of smart drugs, they are dilates blood vessels so not sure.

 

 

i'm sleeping from 5 to 7 hours, sometimes 8, somewhen 8-12, or more and i still feel myself foggy and slow.

so it's not always easy to speak with other people, hard to concentrate bcz when i relax even on 1 second i start to stone. people just can notice i'm abit slow and that's all, if i don't tell them they probably will not notice my troubles, so i think maybe it's ALL subjectivly and i'm not brain damaged? even no IQ lose? hppd isn't brain damage, i want to know is this is hppd or i burn my brains bcz of drugs ? not heavy use

 

 

it may looks like brain damage but i think the foggy mind, memory, and distant and strange perception it's worst, visual things not getting me sick. i think it's DP and DR, not encephalopathy. i did review of my head blood vessels is okay, some little troubles with venous drainage in one side, but it's not bad. i did smart drugs, lots of them, they maybe even helped me, but my mind and perception are still foggy and distant. i have seen neurologogist, i think i visited 3 or even more. they said, vasoneurosis, astenia, hypochondria (3 different diagnosis from 3 doctors), said sleep more get rest and shit, but it started in summer, i was sleeping alot when it started, so idk. sometimes it was even hard to read a book, but now i think i'm able to read. 

 

p.s sorry for my english, i want to go sleep now, and you know that i think i'm very stupid after that starts,,,so sorry.please tell me can be this HPPD ? in my opinion, i want it to be DP DR not braindamage

p.s2 no depression when i think it's hppd and it will gone, when i think i will live with that, i feel myself bad. but still good mood at all, i try to keep it

p.s3 The visual problems of HPPD can occur along with other mental ailments. Of these, the most prominent are anxiety, panic attacks, depersonalization disorder, and depression.

 

 

p.s4 i really hope that is HPPD, because then i will not really worry about it. also i don't use drugs anymore. even weed. weed relax body but mind become paranoid as hell.

 

if you can say something, please, help me, because doctors are don't know what is HPPD and they will put in me in a psychiatric hospital or drug treatment clinic, although I have no dependencies and I can exist in a society, even with foggy perception.

 

[hippoppd]

Sound like much of what you describe is cannabis-induced. Brain fog, anxiety, paranoia and worrying about brain damage is typical. As an ex cannabis addict I can tell you I used to experience such breakdowns even before I got into psychedelics. Stop smoking cannabis, eat healthy and exercise, and you should see great improvement within six months.

Now, the visual symptoms and dp/dr could very well be from your tripping, though I can't say for sure if its hppd or not. Either way Its important that you stop all psychedelic and ecstasy use, or you risk these symptoms getting much worse.

Your situation sounds like a bit of a mess right now. If you stop all drug use, you will soon start seeing many of your symptoms fading away, and you will be left with a clearer picture of what remains and how to approach it.

[LosAndreas36]

Sound like much of what you describe is cannabis-induced. Brain fog, anxiety, paranoia and worrying about brain damage is typical. As an ex cannabis addict I can tell you I used to experience such breakdowns even before I got into psychedelics. Stop smoking cannabis, eat healthy and exercise, and you should see great improvement within six months.

Now, the visual symptoms and dp/dr could very well be from your tripping, though I can't say for sure if its hppd or not. Either way Its important that you stop all psychedelic and ecstasy use, or you risk these symptoms getting much worse.

Your situation sounds like a bit of a mess right now. If you stop all drug use, you will soon start seeing many of your symptoms fading away, and you will be left with a clearer picture of what remains and how to approach it.

Thank you! I was not very heavy user pal, at summer, when it started, i smoked cannabis only few times during year. almost mouth ago i stopped using drugs, so yeah, but it gets worse after physical exercise

[hippoppd]

Oh, I see. My mistake.

Well its great that you stopped using drugs. This is by far the most important step.

You need to just hang in there buddy. You will see improvement in due time. Its important that you try not to panic. You're not brain damaged! Things will return to normal given enough time. Eat healthy, go for walks.

[LosAndreas36]

Oh, I see. My mistake.

Well its great that you stopped using drugs. This is by far the most important step.

You need to just hang in there buddy. You will see improvement in due time. Its important that you try not to panic. You're not brain damaged! Things will return to normal given enough time. Eat healthy, go for walks.

Thank you really! I worry about fog, visuals are not very heavy, they are even funny sometimes...but mind clouding is worst...also i feel myself better tonight not at morning,,morning for me it's like i'm comin back to life after death, wakin up from grave, i'm zombie like...i sleep 3-6 hours usually, sometimes 7, yesterday about 10-12...,,will improve

[hippoppd]

Yeah man, that sounds tough. Ill keep you in my prayers!

[LosAndreas36]

Yeah man, that sounds tough. Ill keep you in my prayers!

Thank you pal!) Now i plan to go somewhere like Goa, just want to stay there for week or so, i was there once. it's edem garden dude ))) Also going to check my brain to exclude brain damages. Fog and DP DR it's usual for HPPD?

[hippoppd]

Yes, i believe it is.