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LethargicAcid

Whats so bad about HPPD anyway........

24 posts in this topic

static ..... so what

floaters .... so what 

starburst. .... idk what that is but they taste good

pareidolia/faces ....... helps with creativity and is cute 

morphing ....... idk what to say lol maybe that could be a problem 

breathing ........ ok thats just weird lol

 

 

it seems that people's viewpoint towards HPPD is what causes alot of mental illness, thats my point.

I am not trying to downplay people. Please do not take offence, I am merely stating a point so that people can try not to view it as "omg im crazy" or something. 

 

if anyone wants me to delete this post I will

 

 

opinions?

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I get where you are coming from, and I think the visuals are probably not as bad as the dp/dr and anxiety.

 

But..... I can't even look into my wife's eyes without everything swirling and the periphery disappearing into a fractal mess. The only way I can stop it disappearing is to constantly move my eyes from position to position. Trying to watch a film is close to impossible, as everything around the screen just starts to disappear... If I look at my white cat for around 5 seconds, against a light background.... I will be left with a pair of floating eyes if I don't adjust where I am looking!

 

Then there is the constant flashing of my visuals... that feels like a constant seizure.

 

Now, add that to a stressful situation like a job interview and you will begin to realise why I have worked from home for the past 15 or so years.

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This pisses me off a bit. If you think HPPD is completely negligible, then why are you here?

Maybe your HPPD is not so bad. Good for you, then. But don't downplay the struggles of others, that's downright unacceptable.

HPPD has driven numerous people to the brink of suicide. Several members here have struggled with it for decades.

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I dont think HPPD is completely negligable. tumblr_mt2sqxdEIm1shhegfo1_400.jpg

 

HPPD is what it is. 

 

anxiety, depression, and DP are another thing IMO. 

 

sorry if i pissed u off. I kinda expected that, sorry. 

 

 

 

 

Im just trying to emphasize that how we view it is what may cause problems. 

 

 

 

 

I am sorry. My HPPD isnt as bad as others :\.

 

 

But i do have positive intentions. 

 

 

I am thinking about deleting this. What do u guys think?

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What you're saying is essentially "Just pull yourself together, man. It's not that bad, you're just fussy about it". Well, for some people it just is that bad. I'm not saying that I'm particularly badly off, personally, but I'm not going to pretend that others are not. That'd be pretty condescending.

 

It is true that your attitude can worsen or better your situation somewhat, but this is not the same as saying that the problem is mainly a matter of attitude. Recognizing the fact that attitude plays a role in your mental health does not mean we are to downplay the severity of actual neurologic or psychiatric conditions.

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I've had this shit for 2 years, from when I was 14 and I'm getting close to 17. This shit completely stole my child sense of innocence and happiness, the visuals on me are not that bad especially compared to someone like jays but hppd is absolutely no joke. Although visuals themselves are not always that much of a bother the brain fog, seizure like hyperactivity in your mind, headaches and head pressure, and especially the other disunited that come within each depersonalization and depression make it hell. I feel like you are just feeling really good lately as in mood wise

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Not that bad ? Maybe for you but a lot of us have it pretty bad. Try doing LSD and shrooms on almost a daily basis, swallow 13 allergy pills and then tell us How you feel.

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I have had this for a year ! I get panic attacks almost constantly, the visuals are very annoying especially at night or in dark rooms and I have to put my phone on very low brightness to avoid the halos. I have brain fog to the point where I was once wandering into the middle of the damn street ! I do nothing except pace around my house constantly, I went 2 nights without sleep and I feel like I am going insane ! Just reading or writing about HPPD gives me panic attacks and I am starting to have one as I am typing. I think you posted this to intentionally piss people off ????

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Sorry guys :(. this is what i meant: 

 

I thought that HPPD has a PTSD to it. 

my point was that the visuals arent super horrible, but the PTSD is.  i thought that the mental illness is the bad part. idk i give up 

 

what do u guys think

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ok these people are from shroomery:

 

 

 

"its not as big of a deal as some people make it out to be, i always got tracers and lines are always swurving. i kinda enjoy it, doesnt effect my thinking one bit so im fine with it."

 

another "people blow it way out of proportion... but still, theres no way of telling if you'll get it or not."

 

another "the propsychdelic like me arent really bothered by it much, makes life alot harder the first few years, they are hell i dunno how i coped with it at 13, instead of retreating from psychdelics i just started useing more lol , ya they are hell adjusting to the new norm takesmuch practice, slight tracers hehe  

 

Come on man u think thats all us hppd'r experience? 

 

I see colorful geometrix blanketing my visuals field, theirs not 1 spot in my visuion that dosent have a acid like geometric. been like this since i was 13 of this 10strip of lavender i ate, im 20 now and represent hppdonline, hppd'rs and psychonauts alike.

 

Now to people whove only done these drugs 1-2 times and hit hppd there in lyes a problem, somthing knew to u that u are now stuck with.. even the seriouse psychonauts crack under hppd's pressure. only reason i think i didnt was continueing to use psychdelics at that age, eating a few hits of acid 3 times a week made hppd become childplay."

 

 

 

hopefully i dont get banned for copyright ..i guess i should delete this comment

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The junkies on shroomery don't have the same Intensity of hppd or obviously they wouldn't continue to do psychadelics and just be ok

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It's cuz of this crap that we see the true evil of drugs. It sometimes gets to the point to where we feel like committing suicide.

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While I respect your opinion lethargic I definitely think that you need to re-evaluate post like these.HPPD can greatly vary in severity in its visual and cognitive/emotional impairment from person to person,so while you may have reached a point of acceptance or tolerance to the condition there are plenty of people who are far beyond that point.

 

I,like you,have had some very profound breakthroughs/insights with my acceptance of this altered state and have made great progress with my perspective but not a day goes by that I experience deep feelings of regret and sadness because of this.I meditate,eat well,keep myself busy and do all the stuff that can make this whole thing easier but at the end of the day I still can't read a book like I used to,I can barely hold a conversation or maintain relationships,and my vision is so messed up life is one big blur most of time,I make a very strong effort to get what joy I can but at this point I'm essentially just surviving and waiting for my time on this earth to end.

 

I don't intend to make this a personal sob story,and I definitely understand the intention of your message,but posts like these can be belittling and disheartening to people who have it worse then you,just food for thought.

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Once and a while someone will pop by and say they've been free-tripping for years (even decades) and they are happy about it.

 

But most of us find it a burden.  Under the symptom list of HPPD are anxiety and depression.  They say 'co-morbid' but for all practical purpose its the same package and most suffer from it.

 

Nothing wrong with one saying they appreciate all they have learned about their mind and life.  Its just tricky to say it in a way that doesn't offend.  HPPDers are often dismissed by doctors - and even friends and family.  That is bitter and makes for being sensitive about anything that can be construed as dismissive.  In the end, people are looking for a cure.
 
The intensity/severity of one's HPPD is a big factor.  Someone with a broken arm is happy that it will heal in a couple months.  A person with an amputated arm will not be so cheerful - the best they can say is they've learned to live with it (or rather without it).  They aren't likely to enjoy someone saying that its great the lose the use of a limb.
 
 

The word, 'acceptance' can be irritating because it has the idea of agreeing to receive it.  Most find HPPD very disagreeable ... and would 'give it back' in a heartbeat.  

 

But the definition "willingness to tolerate a difficult or unpleasant situation" applies in the sense of learning to live with what you can't immediately change.  HPPD can ruin a life.  So it is important to focus on what you can do and find joy.  This is where 'attitude' comes in.

 

Dr A says that CBT for anxiety and depression it the most important treatment.  Also, self blame is not something to keep carrying.  Guilt is a tool to modify future actions (in this case stay away from drugs).  It isn't supposed to be a burden carried for life to poke, prod and torture.

 

One might feel even happy once they have learned to control most anxiety/depression.  But expressing that cheerful relief can either encourage those who suffer (since they might see hope for themselves) or discourage, even enrage.  Its how and when one expresses self.

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sorry guys this quote from shroomery is all i can end with 

 

 
"i have mild visuals still, but the worst part is the persistent mindfuck. i have schizoid like symptoms that I experience sporadically. not hearing voices, but the overall inability to follow a train of thought. it happens only on certain days.

meditation is BY FAR the best way of dealing with HPPD. i've taken up buddhism to help recover from the negative effects of my psychedelic use. it's slowly helping me.

to all of those that suffer from HPPD. YOU ARE NOT POWERLESS."
 
 
just trying to help. 
 
and yes my HPPD is back down to 
-static
-sometimes faces
-light afterimages 
 
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oh and this

 

"But isn't it the visual aspects that cause depersonalization and derealization? I could be wrong, but almost every report I've read the whole reason for DP/DR is that person suffering from it couldn't adjust to the visual changes and obsesses over the fact that they "ruined their brain" until it drives them into this state. I mean when I go on HPPD online nearly 90% of reports sound like this... "HELP, I took two hits of acid a month ago and now I see eyefloaters and a little static. I think I ruined my brain and I regret every decision I ever made with drugs and just want to go back to being me again." Now of course there are people with legitimate hardcore HPPD. And even those without it are still understandable. I'm not trying to make fun of anyone, I've had eyefloaters bug the shit out of me for months after noticing them. But I feel like in this case the symptoms usually are the disease. Most success stories I've read come from people saying they've stopped paying attention to the visuals and over time they started to forget about it and live a normal life.

 
So I feel like a lot of it is anxiety driven due a sudden noticeable change in brain state. But I've never heard of people getting DP/DR who weren't driven to it because of the visuals. Unless it was ego death or a bad trip or something of that sort."
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I know i said that was my last comment but this is what everything really boils down to in my opinion

 

 

 

"does it only bother you because it's different? or does it actually interfere with your life?

 
if it only bothers you because it's different then mushrooms could help you change the way you look at that problem.. just because it's different doesn't mean it's worse.. what if it's an improvement? you never know.. i find everything i look at now that i've tripped like i have and see the things i see, is more beautiful than it was before, even when i'm sober.
 
its not a bad thing man; unless it interferes with your life.."
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You're feeling better... and I think you're one of the lucky ones who's HPPD will get better/subside.  That's great!

 

I think when you're having really bad HPPD symptoms or a panic attack (at least for me) your brain isn't really processing memory in the normal manner.  It's processing it like it would a traumatic event.  Traumatic memory can only be experienced... not remembered.  I think you might not be remembering how "wrong" everything felt when you were having the severe HPPD symptoms (or they weren't as severe as some in the group here) or you wouldn't be posting things like this.

 

Try saying these kinds of things when you're experiencing full blast HPPD like some of the people here (myself included).  You wouldn't be able to.  It's completely debilitating.

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Sorry to bring up an old thread but I think this post could he of help to some people.

You are right LethargicAcid to an extent. For most people the visuals are just an annoyance, it's the anxiety and other mental symptoms that come along with HPPD that makes it debilitating, which is of course how these people react to the visuals.

Those with severe HPPD who can't read, go out at night etc. is a different story, but those with mild HPPD it's purely down to how you react to the visuals. If you want to start getting better then you need to start reacting to visuals in a different way.

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static ..... so what

floaters .... so what 

starburst. .... idk what that is but they taste good

pareidolia/faces ....... helps with creativity and is cute 

morphing ....... idk what to say lol maybe that could be a problem 

breathing ........ ok thats just weird lol

 

 

it seems that people's viewpoint towards HPPD is what causes alot of mental illness, thats my point.

I am not trying to downplay people. Please do not take offence, I am merely stating a point so that people can try not to view it as "omg im crazy" or something. 

 

if anyone wants me to delete this post I will

 

 

opinions?

 

Maybe everything is a mental illness as well? Or atleast with that line of thinking you could go that far so why not just run with it I assume? Maybe eating is a mential illness as well.... OR... MAYBE, eating is real, and in reality, and so are all the symptoms you listed, and really occur, in REAL space time, and REALLY do bother people and cause them problems. HMMMMMM

 

HPPD has a lot more serious effects as well, effects that have real consequences, extreme anxiety, so bad your hair can fall out, raised blood pressure, raised heart rate, altered realism, altered perception, etc etc etc.

 

Whats so bad about it, ITS NOT NORMAL, essentiallly what youre asking is whats so wrong about aids or cancer or cirrhosis, or salmonella poisoning etc etc etc. Its a disruption of the normal functioning of the body. Which is, in fact.. BAD. 

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