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list of various symptoms I perceive


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Starting with the most consistent (or..persistent?):

visual snow/static - really noticeable when I look at textured carpets or any textural pattern of alternating colors (sometimes looks as if it moves or wobbles) and ofcourse "worse" at night and against white-washed walls.

ghosting and what I can only describe as "light rays" off anything that is white or light-based. ie: the l.e.d.s on my computer

halos and starbursts on street lamps and car headlights are also rather prominent.

if I am tired, or hung over, I can detect "breathing" in my vision - the wobble effect

When I wake up and take a shower, if I close my eyes in the shower I see bizarre square-like phosphenes all over the place, that swirl and ripple and eventually disappear. Sometimes red or purple.

Also, eyes closed, little "black holes" that appear randomly in the swirling madness, and then disappear as soon as they showed up

The visual snow becomes red sperms or shooting stars,

I can see a circular "pressure" point when I move my eyes from side to side - purely a mechanical effect of the eye moving, but I never saw it before the onset of this crap. Sometimes visible in broad daylight

spermies in the sky

tinnitus comes and goes...

random muscle twitching and spasming

brain zaps every now and again

haven't had a panic attack in awhile, but if I wake up in the middle of the night, there is usually some weird almost seizure like feelings taking place (I recall waking up in a nightmare, and everything was shaking and then I opened my eyes and I basically felt the "waves" of an E trip upon waking up. Am I stuck in a perpetual trip? It's happened a couple times.)

Inner ear buzz/pulsation - I've tried to let it grow in intensity to some, what I expect, to be an "endpoint", but I never can - get to scared and anxiety-stricken.

excuse my ramblings, but figured I'd kickstart this off with a bang

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Guest stonehenge

i've had those seizure feelings before while waking up in the middle of the night...its freakin scary, seemed like my whole bed was shaking and my spine....its been 6 months since my onset and things are getting better...still seeing floaters and spermies in the sky..thats about it

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  • 5 months later...

I think my symptoms are slightly more minor than most people's, particularly because I've never taken any type of hallucinogen before in my life. I've become a reasonably regular weed smoker, however, and tend to experience more intense symptoms from getting high the most people around me. My vision tends to change quite a lot when I smoke, and I've noticed, especially within the last few months, that my symptoms drastically increase in the most recent days after smoking, which is why I'm attempting to cut back. I first noticed something off about 2 months ago, and this is the first time I've read anything about HPPD, which, honestly, was a huge relief to hear about. I thought I was going insane, possible developing schizophrenia or a brain tumor. Now that I have a better idea about what it is, at least I won't be stressed out all the time that something is seriously wrong with me.

Anyway, my symptoms:

the most prevalent, definitely, is the visual snow. Basically it looks like blank space is constantly moving, like I can see the particles jumping around everywehre. If I look at an object, particularly one dark and patterned, I can see the lines of the pattern moving around, probably most comparably to tv static. in general, I feel kind of like I'm standing behind a layer from the rest of the world.

if i stare at objects for an extended period of time, it's as if I can make them twitch. When it's particularly bad, I can "make" the walls breathe or look like they're moving closer to me.

when it's dark, everything gets a lot worse. it's like i overwork my imagination in the dark and everything looks like it's moving.

i see a lot of random white lights, especially when i look at a white background, kind of like afterimages, i guess.

when i try to read, it's hard to focus on the words. i feel like the white on the page is moving around, and the words are slightly moving too

i also get some body sensations as well. sometimes i get a hard pressure on my chest, normally towards the right side, and sometimes on my shoulder. sometimes if i'm not moving my arm it's like i can't even sense that it's there. i don't really feel depersonalization, but can't really feel parts of my body occasionally. sometimes i feel a certain pressure behind my eyes as well, like they're vibrating, consistent to my vision kind of vibrating too

oh, and sometimes i have extremely vivid dreams. I have no idea if these are real or not, because when it happens I normally dream I'm in the bed in the room I'm sleeping in. but i'll wake up and not be able to move at all, or i'll touch my arm with the other and it will be completely numb. (this has happened a few time, but, like i said, they could just be vivid dreams)

a lot of these symptoms, especially the body symptoms, are consistent to when i smoke weed, to a lesser extreme.

i was pretty detailed with these, but i really want to know if other people are experiencing these too. Even though these symptoms are really uncomfortable, and I just wish they would go away, it's nice to know they aren't life threatening and possibly not permanent.

As for how I deal with them, I tried at first to completely ignore them. They started getting worse, however, which was when I actually started considering something was seriously wrong with me. I tried smoking and drinking more because, even though they increased the symptoms, they made me feel better because at least something was supposed to be "wrong" at the time. i also tried to force myself to be around people as much as possible because it helped distract me from the symptoms for the most part. Also, watching tv or focusing on a screen, normally decreases the symptoms as well. Once I noticed that the symptoms would be worse in the days after smoking, I decreased my use a little, and noticed that if I didn't for about 2 weeks they started to lessen in intensity (that's the longest I've gone but I may completely quit now after reading about this). In general, I don't have many problems with anxiety, so I've been able to keep a pretty good handle on acting normal for the most part since I started noticing them

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Some of your symptoms are normal, especially the ones sorrounding sleep. What you described is a hypnagogic experience, with sleep paralysis. This is something I have had for as long as I could remember. My got as bad as sometimes when I was in the transition to sleep or wakeness, I would hear people, with impish voices talking to me, or I would feel as is I was traveling up a wall. I could never move during these experiences, nor feel parts of my body. This would happen during times of stress or trouble. Although some of what you describe does sound like HPPD and weed is a mild hallucinagen, although a lot of it can be explained by anxiety. I would definitly slow the cannibus use, be careful. The last place you want to be is in those first few months of HPPD.

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