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looking for help with hppd and other health issues


wandermoon

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so i have had hppd or what i believe to be hppd for the last 10 months. it isnt super severe, but it continues to worsen. i've used a ton of psychedelics over the past couple years. 

i stopped using everything about 8months ago, after first really noticing my symptoms. i mixed mushrooms, mdma, lsd and lsa. had done this a few times before also with ketamine. i believe the lsa use is what triggered it. but of course i can not say for certain of anything. at first i was just hoping it was nothing and it would go away if i took a break, it was really mild.

i used lsd on 3 occasions after this, which didnt really aggravate my symptoms much at all. last use was new years.

my symptoms didnt get really bad til this past month, maybe 6weeks ago. i was taking adderal for severe a.d.d. and i was using kratom to sleep, because i also have severe insomnia, somtimes drinking a beer to help. 

anyway i noticed a huge increase in my visuals and have been off the adderal for  2weeks and trying to not use the kratom, but ive used it on 2 other occasions, when i could not fall asleep for the life of me.

my symptoms are a lot like the comedown of lsd 
lights are bright (red,) like the break lights of cars are brighter than i have ever seen them on lsd.

i get rainbow halos off white lights and colored halos off whatever color light it is, these are so bright i can not see past them.
i get lines coming off lights in all directions, (also impossible to see past.)
clouds really pop out and grab my attention during the day and they glow like on lsd at night.

trees also pop out and they have this pattern that i saw on my last couple lsd trips, the ends of them kind of look like that (italian pinch and curl mustache.)
also if there are no clouds i see a white spotted pattern on the night sky
i can also see stars that i never saw before and others cant see them
if i look at things too long they start to wave or breathe

things not related to lsd
i can see the squiggly hairs in my eyes 24/7 
in the peripherals of my vision i get visual snow (blurry and sometimes staticy)
and get palinopsia (after images) sometimes (usually in darker settings)
i also started seeing this yellow/white light out of the corner of my eyes thats just a dot and it swerves around on the ground for a couple seconds and then disappears, this comes and goes.

 

also i used cannabis less and less til i stopped using it entirely 3months ago. when i got my first symptoms, it started to feel worse and worse. made my heart race in my chest, but when i checked my pulse on my neck it felt fine. i felt confused and really weird in my head, the last few times i used it, i legitimately thought i was going to die. i couldnt feel my lungs, couldnt breathe, felt light headed and almost fainted. it also gave the room a tricolor haze. half the room was red, half was turquoise and the ceiling looked orange. (when researching hppd, i couldnt find information like this anywhere.)

 

anyway. i didnt want any of these symptoms to get worse, but i was hoping someone could help me try and find medications that would work for me, i get kaiser insurance on may 1st. 
i have severe a.d.d. 
anxiety that worsened with my hppd
severe insomnia (can't sleep without aid) even when i try and meditate
i also have the mthfr genetic mutation. that makes me feel fatigued and confused 24/7 to the point i have to force myself to do things.
the adderal helped, but not 100% i did start taking 5-mthf, but i havent noticed it helping yet. only started 4days ago.

do caffeine and alcohol both make symptoms progressively worse? any help is appreciated.

sorry if my post is scattered/unorganized, it's just how my brain feels currently.
 

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Well I just wanted to say one thing, as like you I went too hard for too long. That mix you described in the beginning sounds like some of the shit I've done and in my opinion you never really come down from that strong of an experience. Enjoy your enlightenment do not fight it

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