Missjess Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Ever since getting hppd all I feel like is a freak...I don't want to socialize anymore and I can't connect at all This fuking stinks all I want is fuking alcohol to drown my sorrows and I cannot even have that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jagermeister Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Yah i wanna be at home and talk with my dog, but reallity is there and i want to see her how i usually watched... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd33 Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 Do you know this song by Pink - Try ? Listen to it. Again and again and again Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd33 Posted August 17, 2014 Report Share Posted August 17, 2014 You look great jess. I mean you have to try to be social. Its all in your head. They dont see you as a freak. You have to do what you really makes you feel.good. even if you want to leave a party or such. Time Will heal, its hard. Its going to get better. Like Jay said. Sometimes forse yourself to be social You Will building up cconfidence, dont stress too much about things. It going to get better. Try to see positive things. Music looking at real freaks laugh. Etc etc etc Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted August 18, 2014 Report Share Posted August 18, 2014 Yea, i think it is a state of mind that you have to fight to get back. I get many, many days where I don't want to speak to anyone, even my wife, but I force myself out there and, once I talk a bit, I realise that it is ok... The anxiety is the build up to being social, the social part is actually not so bad, once you are there... It is worth remembering that most people have their own issues, their own anxieties, their own set of problems. That doesn't mean they are uncaring and selfish... It just means they are not studying your every word, move or behaviour looking for signs of strange behaviour. It seems people don't think i'm a freak, or, people think i'm a freak and think that is ok Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted August 19, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 I cannot build up confidence is everything feels fake and doesn't register ...I have no sensory and emotional connection and my hppd makes me feel disembodied ...nothing I do is fun not even exersizing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd33 Posted August 19, 2014 Report Share Posted August 19, 2014 Meds time then Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlavicPsychonaut Posted August 26, 2014 Report Share Posted August 26, 2014 Normality is subjective, just embrace your new perception of reality, no matter how surreal and mortifying it may seem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xspecm Posted August 26, 2014 Report Share Posted August 26, 2014 you just have to get used to this new perception of reality, I also thought my social life was ruined, but it was just a matter of re-used to talk, look at people, and find new friends, my social life now returned to normal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted August 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2014 Normality is subjective, just embrace your new perception of reality, no matter how surreal and mortifying it may seem! Did you seriously just say this !?? Embrace my new perception !!! I am fuking disembodied and disconnected as fuk, my brain doesn't work and is very slow, I cannot pick up on social and emotional cues how the fuk can I embrace that!?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlavicPsychonaut Posted August 27, 2014 Report Share Posted August 27, 2014 Did you seriously just say this !?? Embrace my new perception !!! I am fuking disembodied and disconnected as fuk, my brain doesn't work and is very slow, I cannot pick up on social and emotional cues how the fuk can I embrace that!?? Your blatant pessimism and rumination on your symptoms is hindering your recovery, and I'm not being a dick, because I did the same thing for an entire year, and it was exhausting physically and mentally. HPPD is manageable, and I'm a firm advocate that you can live a fulfilling life with it. I wholeheartedly agree that it makes daily life extremely difficult, and you're not the only one that suffers from the co-morbidities of HPPD, I struggle everyday with derealization, not to mention substance abuse issues which have rendered my short term memory quite impaired and a recent binge on Adderall has literally manifested a new state of dissociation for myself, and I've essentially baselined. In addition, I'll be admitting myself for a second time into a chemical dependence facility, and I loathe myself for having to obtain treatment again, but it's going to be beneficial! I still manage to excel in college with this atrocious illness, it really is predicated on optimistic thinking. Individuals who've suffered TBIs, strokes, have been physically maimed and even schizophrenics can lead fulfilling lives, why can't you? The brain is an organ capable of infinite possibilities and has an affinity for forming new neural pathways and compensating for cognitive dysfunction; it requires ample time and proper nutrition to heal! I'm just trying to encourage you to persevere through this shit, like everybody on this forum does, and remain optimistic. Life has too many benevolent experiences to offer to let HPPD completely ruin it for you, Jess. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted August 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2014 I've had this for about 6 months now...not as long as u and I'm sorry I can't accept this it's a fuking tormenting nightmare..I do get out and do normal things but I feel as tho I'm on another planet and can't relate to no one...it's also majorly affects my cognitive abilities there is no way in hell I can work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted August 28, 2014 Report Share Posted August 28, 2014 I think, at the 6 month point, it is best to just take time out and do whatever it takes to stay as stress free and healthy as possible so you can give your body and mind the best chance of recovery. If that means locking yourself away in your room for the next 6 months, then don't beat yourself up about it. Don't worry that your friends, parents or whoever might think you are being unsociable, lazy or anything else. It's all about looking out for yourself, right now. There will be time to build bridges in the future. It took me 3 years before I was really ready to start clawing my life back and get back into a positive mindset that I wouldn't let this shit ruin my life. Other than the obvious, there is no right or wrong way to deal with this shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted August 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2014 Jay Isn't ur hppd rlly severe ? What knocked me back was I had dp for 7 years prior to getting hppd and I was already done with that disorder after trying everything.. So I was already at a given up point u know I'm so sick of not feeling that sensory connection and everything looking fuked and not feeling right I already had similar shit with dp for almost a decade ....come on I just want a break from all these freaky disorders!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted August 28, 2014 Report Share Posted August 28, 2014 Pretty bad yea.... Visuals are off the scale and the trippy feeling is horrible... makes me feel like my brain is physically ill. In some respects, having heavy depression in those first 3 years was a strange blessing, as when that lifted... the rest didn't seem so bad. I can't remember, do you use Clonazepam? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jagermeister Posted August 28, 2014 Report Share Posted August 28, 2014 I think myself as a sick man, who has bad lucky from unique dosage of shroom, not as a freak. I would feeling freak if I were continue takings drugs, knowing that Im frying my brain. I have hoping to feel better and found a treatment or med that help me daily. Have to re-ajust expectatives. There are million of people in Africa deading second to second. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted August 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2014 Jay that sound awfull fuk I'm glad u are coping tho!!! That's the main thing Nar I can't take benzos they fuk me up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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