Do I Have HPPD? DP/DR ? Anxiety ? Please Help

[royakash92]

hello there, HPPD online members !

 

i have been smoking marijuana, for about 2 months now, occasionally, and never had any problem before, but after the last time i smoked weed, which was about 4 weeks ago, i have been experiencing some strange symptoms, which has really started to scare the hell out of me, and giving me terrible anxiety.

 

the symptoms include :

 

1) increased sensitivity to light, it feels like the world around me is brighter than usual, and colours are more saturated. (especially red), every kind of artificial light is bright to me, my eyes hurt when i look at lights and sometimes i get headaches also.

 

2) i see after images of objects when i look at them, (mostly lights) and computer screens. lights seem to have a glow to them.

 

3) when i close my eyes, i see grainy & noisy vision. i also see it when i'm somewhere dark.

 

4) at night, i have starbursts from car headlights and street lights, (mostly lights which are bulbs). this is really bothering me much.

 

5) if i stare at wavy patterns for a long time (10-15 seconds) they seem to move.

 

6) it feels like i am able to see things very deeply and clearly, which i was not able to see before. patterns seem to be more visible and pronounced in things i look at.

 

7)i have a changed perception, where objects seem to be either larger or smaller and they were before. kind of like in 3D.

 

8)i feel incredibly lazy and always want to sleep. and i find it difficult to remember things from a few days back.

 

9)i have become kind of a loner, and i dont want to socialize much with people, and the world somewhat feels different to me.  

 

these are the symptoms i can currently remember,

 

ive been to eye doctors, and neurologists, and they say that nothing is wrong with me, although they gave me a couple of eye drops, and clonazepam. they say that because i smoked weed, it has changed the way my brain works, and its going to take time to feel normal again.

 

 

so i want to know, if im suffering from HPPD, Depersonalization/Derealization or just anxiety ?

 

i would like to state that i have never done LSD, shrooms , cocaine , MDMA, Tobacco etc. (only alcohol and marijuana).

 

any kind of help is greatly appriciated,

kind regards

 

[andrewcb]

This happened with me too on weed. Bright lights, stuff looks plastic? Still can't explain this one really. The best way for me to explain it is like the first time someone sees a blue-ray HD movie and people looked weird and moved weird, it is like that for me everyday. Migraines(which is prob what you are getting), I get blurry vision too. The 3d look I get the best way for me to explain it is I compare it to one of those pop up books, like everything is in layers.

I do not know if this is DP/DR as far as this part goes really, I think it is.

I have experienced what I know for fact was intense episodes of DP/DR multiple times. You really start thinking you are in a dream and you just want to freak the hell out.

Also, I have to interact with people everyday for work and it is so weird because after I am done talking it feels like either that convo never happened or I was just talking to some kind of AI(I also get this feeling everyone is some kind of artificial intelligence and I am the only real person).

There is much more I experience but this is a lot of it. So I can relate to you pretty well.

Now, I don't believe you have HPPD. I think it has something to do with the migraines. Remember you can have migraines and not even feel them. I get eye floaters all the time too that aren't even there. My optometrist assured me I had no eye floaters in my eyes when I told him I seen at least 4 at the time and he said he was almost certain it had to do with the migraines. Migraines can also affect your sensitivity to lights, cause starbursting, depression, anxiety etc. etc. I blame a lot of my symptoms on migraines and I am thinking this might be your problem too. I also get these waves of pressure that flows to my head too.

I can't say for sure what the visual part is though, the part where stuff just doesn't look right. I assume this is DP/DR, it feels like a very serotonergic trip is the best way to explain it I guess. I guess like anxiety, you have general anxiety and then you have anxiety attacks, you also have DP/DR and DP/DR attacks.

 

Now there MIGHT be some hope for you. I use to experience this before it became a hardcore daily thing, at the time I never gave much attention to it because it would come and go which now I wish I had listened to by body and I wouldn't be in this mess that I am in now. I use to experience this a lot when I was smoking weed and popping x pills. But it would come and go so I just thought I was having a bad reaction but nothing permanent so I never discontinued until it got real bad. My suggestion is stop smoking, stop drinking, stop any bad habit and live healthy. See what happens after some time passes. You can probably never smoke weed again, which you shouldn't anyways since it has put you in this mess. I have been dealing with this for over 3 years now and honestly I don't think it is ever going away. I can't imagine waking up one day and the first thing I not notice is how messed up my vision is, going through the day where everything looks "normal" again. I can't even tell you what normal vision is, hell I might be seeing everything "normal" but for some reason my mind is telling me otherwise. Or some kind of filter might have been removed and I am in fact, not seeing normal. Either way I don't see it going away. Your best bet is to stop all drugs and try to treat you headaches and see how that works. I have never tried anything for my migraines, I want to try a few of them but right now I don't have time to experiment on myself lol. The ones I have been interested in are Topamax and Cafergot. There are 2 different kinds of migraine medications, there are Ergots and Triptans . Triptans I am interested in because how they target the serotonin receptors. Topamax is a triptan Cafergot is a ergot.

 

Hope this helps you out a bit! At least you know your not the only one out there that is going through this! That always helps. 

[hppd33]

Sounds exactly like my symptoms. Only thing i quit weed 16 years ago. I got it from XTC combined with speed + alcohol

[royakash92]

@andrewcb thanks for all the answers, but shit you make it sound like its going to stay forever, i have already stopped using all kinds of drugs, and its been around 4 weeks, and i can say that my symptoms have gotten somewhat better, (or i just got used to them so i feel that way idk!) that pop up book thing has kind of decreased.

about the migranes thing, i think it comes due to seeing bright lights everytime im not sure though!

 

and about DP/DR, i heard that it goes away with time, but i feel that i even if i have DP/DR it is very mild. 

 

thanks for the answers though, i think ill go check up with a psychologist.

and ill keep u updated.

 

@hppd33  do u still have these symptoms ? have they increased or decreased as time passsed ? plz reply

[hppd33]

yes

i still have every single symptom, although it has decreased a little. Im in for 2 years+ but i still smoke, drink alcohol, coffee and tke clonazepam, i shouldnt do that, i think when you stay completley sober chanches are bigger you will heal faster

[RLS]

Wow, another topic that seems to hit the nail right on the head. Almost sounds as if I had written the topic and forgot about it other than for the part about having seen doctors and the lack of LSD MDMA, shrooms, and salvia.

 

The one thing I learned about the plastic look of the world is when I read an article about how to take a picture and use tilt shifting to make real pictures look like pictures of miniatures. The way they described the process made me feel that it was similar to what the human brain can be doing when things look a little plastic but not to such an extreme of course unless your symptoms are really that bad! Just a theory.

 

The good news for you though is that your symptoms ought to be temporary while for those of us that have done harder core drugs, we aren't so fortunate.

[royakash92]

yes

i still have every single symptom, although it has decreased a little. Im in for 2 years+ but i still smoke, drink alcohol, coffee and tke clonazepam, i shouldnt do that, i think when you stay completley sober chanches are bigger you will heal faster

yes, im staying off everything, untill i get better, and i have also been prescribed clonazepam 0.5 mg,  should i take it everyday ? or only when i get anxiety.

[royakash92]

Wow, another topic that seems to hit the nail right on the head. Almost sounds as if I had written the topic and forgot about it other than for the part about having seen doctors and the lack of LSD MDMA, shrooms, and salvia.

 

The one thing I learned about the plastic look of the world is when I read an article about how to take a picture and use tilt shifting to make real pictures look like pictures of miniatures. The way they described the process made me feel that it was similar to what the human brain can be doing when things look a little plastic but not to such an extreme of course unless your symptoms are really that bad! Just a theory.

 

The good news for you though is that your symptoms ought to be temporary while for those of us that have done harder core drugs, we aren't so fortunate.

thanks, gives some hope. 

i can confirm that i dont have visual snow, or that tv noise shit, neither shifting colours or flashes, and geometric patterns.

 

although, i do have starbursts from car headlights, and after images, when i stare at flurocent lights.

and a little hazy vision which gets worse in dark areas and at night.

 

and about dp/dr symptoms, i guess the world feels a bit changed to me.

nothing too strong.

 

 

the best way to describe, what im feeling in my opinion, would be to say, that im stuck in a weed high, with the the visual and auditory effects, without the euphoria and relaxation., this describes my state, perfectly.

 

can anyone relate to this ?

 

thanks & regards.