hppd33 Posted March 31, 2014 Report Share Posted March 31, 2014 Can you handle relationships? I dont think i can 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iHaveSeenEvil Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 Nope. Not yet at least, HPPD seems as though it's subsiding. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted April 1, 2014 Report Share Posted April 1, 2014 None of us deserve this fuking hell 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ralphy Posted May 13, 2014 Report Share Posted May 13, 2014 i met my wife having hppd,and got married having it as well.. many people here have spouses and kids even.. so don't worry about that.. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 My hppd stops me from being able to connect altogether so I'd rather not be cold and selfish to a partner until I can get healed from this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd33 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 I cant feel love or give it to someone that sometimes hurt the most from having hppd. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted May 16, 2014 Report Share Posted May 16, 2014 I cant feel love or give it to someone that sometimes hurt the most from having hppd. Same!!!! How unlucky we are! It's not fair Hppd33 tell me how does ur hppd disconnect u so much? I'd like to compare our symptoms if u don't mind. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd33 Posted May 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2014 for me anxiety is the worst - also alot of tiredness, and i dont feel like doing something at all, its pure the depression that makes a relationship difficult. When i close my eyes my whole body shakes, along with cev's- I have no feeling of time, nothing to look forward too, no acohol or a party whch i liked alot in the past.. im always happy when th day ends.. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaizzesFaire Posted May 17, 2014 Report Share Posted May 17, 2014 hang in there bro. does drinking completely fuck ur symptoms? Personally I have few beers a couple nights a week, just to "clear my head". 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd33 Posted May 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2014 A few beers help a bit. But its only for an hour maybe. Next days i can stay in bed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted May 17, 2014 Report Share Posted May 17, 2014 I'm surprised u guys can drink a beer!! If I have a drop of alcohol I'm fuked and things become even more distorted and dissociated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hppd33 Posted May 17, 2014 Author Report Share Posted May 17, 2014 I have that too jess. There for benzos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted May 18, 2014 Report Share Posted May 18, 2014 What's for benzos ? Y do u drink then? Doesn't it gets worse with alcohol like it makes hppd more severe ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyb84 Posted May 18, 2014 Report Share Posted May 18, 2014 Jess i don't believe you have HPPD going off everything you have posted, more likely some type of other rare neurological disorder.?? You don't have any of the classic symptoms associated with it (trails, vs, floaters, star bursts, cev's after images etc) Not trying to isolate you or anything like that but in my humble opinion it's a simple case of....the shoe doesn't fit. Keep up the search Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted May 18, 2014 Report Share Posted May 18, 2014 Hi jimmy, Yes I do...it's from a hallucinogen and I have perceptual distortions. It's deff a perception disorder. Not all hppd is the same, only me and solveig got hppd from Iboga. And yes it does seem different then the normal typical style of hppd. Iboga is some serious fuked up drug. Some symptoms I have do fit in with the normal hppd like seeing intensified hues and colours looking more bright etc, Depersonalization, dissociation. Things looking like they merge & mix together. I did have slight star bursting when it first got triggered. Anything that alters ur perception and is caused by a hallucinogen is hppd. I have been told I will be healed in Brazil so that is my only hope I will just keep coming back until I'm fixed I guess 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmyb84 Posted May 21, 2014 Report Share Posted May 21, 2014 You still over there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iHaveSeenEvil Posted May 25, 2014 Report Share Posted May 25, 2014 Before I used to feel disconnected from everyone, I felt as though they weren't real or didn't have a soul. Plus massive depression, anxiety, and all that lovely shit that comes with this. But now I'm starting to hang out with girls more because I feel like I am able to connect with people again. ^.^ I've been way more flirty, fun, and excitable to hang out with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
over.it Posted June 9, 2014 Report Share Posted June 9, 2014 Miss Jess - I totally can relate this disorder makes you start all over. It forces you to build your own self esteem up again starting from the bottom. Even though you don't want to deal with this shit it is the only way out because we can't just pretend it's not happening to us. I want to feel like my true self again, happy pretty energetic etc before I try to find a husband let alone a relationship. I feel like it wouldn't be fair to drag them down with this before I have it healed or at least in control. It sucks the situation we are forced into. It makes your reevaluate life on another level. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missjess Posted June 10, 2014 Report Share Posted June 10, 2014 Well I know I won't build self esteem with hppd that's just me. My self esteem will come back a bit when I don't have this shit anymore. It really does suck this situation is totally fuked beyond belief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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