Iboga totally messed up my brain chemistry

[Missjess]

Hi guys,

About 7 months ago I took a flood dose of iboga and it went horribly wrong. I was trying to cure my dpdr by using it. I ended up in hospital for 3 days and had to be put on a drip. It was the most horrible nights of my life I actually prepared for death coz I felt like I was gonna die. Fast forward 7 months later, I haven't been the same. Ongoing symptoms: worsening of my dissociative symptoms, feeling spacey 24/7, my head feels empty and totally seperate and Invisible, chronic blank mind like someone turned down my inner voice and it seems to have disappeared, zero social interest, zero motivation, unable to learn new things, unable to think or plan, anhedonia, paranoia when I am outside, constant feeling of doom when I am around a lot of sensory stimuli, symptoms of neurodegeneration including muscle twitching and spasms all over my body, no sense of any kind of mood and a stronger feeling of depersonalization

Thanks to a forum called Longecity I have discovered a few supplements that may help me: nmda receptor agonists & kappa antagonists. So far I have ordered NAC, sarcosine, piracetam, glycine, preg, and am waiting on a friend to bring over Jdtic to try (kappa antagonist) ....my piracetam arrived yesterday and I tried 1 capsule today of 800mg but I've noticed no difference. Oh and I drank alcohol a few nights ago and it has just made my dissociation 5 times worse I'm rlly struggling to hang in there. Can anyone else plz offer me some hope, help or advice????

Oh and I should mention that I have a trip planned to go to Brazil in 2 weeks time to visit john of god the famous Brazilian healer. He has apparently helped ppl with all sorts of ailments from brain damage to schizophrenia & drug induced psychosis etc in the mean time I am trying not to friggin kill my self until then!

Thank you so much guys!!!

[StateOfRegret]

Stay with us, Missjess. What you describe sounds very unpleasant, but even during the worst of times, there is reason to keep going.

Perhaps the present isn't worth experiencing, but until proven wrong one should always remember the (likely) possibility that better days lie ahead!

As for your symptoms: you didn't mention any visual symptoms. Do you not experience those?

[brake]

Just ride it through. It gets better. Definitely go on that trip to Brazil and let us know how that goes!

[Missjess]

I was doing fine until I drank alcohol and it messed me up even more...this I don't think I can handle !! I tired to take piracetam but it didn't help me at all of anything I started to feel a bit off a few hours later. This is complete torment

No I don't experience visual symptoms although my vision does appear to be "dirty" and kinda cloudy since taking this shit

[StateOfRegret]

Have you sought medical treatment? If they have just shrugged at you, you need to be more aggressive (but in a ''formal'' and serious way, this is how I deal with doctors anyway!). They must take you seriously, your suffering is obviously very real.

Maybe there is no clear-cut obvious treatment, but Solveig has had considerable success with Lamictal, and I'd be surprised if some benzodiazepines (Klonopin, for instance) couldn't at least do something to alleviate your suffering temporarily (those are, of course, not well-suited for long term use, but in the short term they can be very, very helpful!)

[Missjess]

I'm getting an EEG done tomorrow but I feel as if that alcohol I drank just tipped my nmda receptor over the edge!! Now it's completely fuked up and I am way way too dissociated to handle anything right now my head feels totally seperate from my body I'm fuking scared out if my mind right now. I took piracetam to try to help but it's done fuk all !

I'm not sure if I can hang on until my trip I rlly am not

[Missjess]

What if I try sarcosine tomorrow and it fuks me up even more or doesn't even work either

[StateOfRegret]

Well, as I said before; In a situation like yours, something akin to benzodiazepines might be warranted ASAP.

[Missjess]

I don't have any and don't think I can obtain any

[StateOfRegret]

That's tough - I would think that your doctor would be willing to help you? Many of them are not happy about prescribing benzodiazepines, but in my experience they do make exceptions!

[brake]

If you can`t get your hands on any benzos at the moment then try magnesium (500 to 750 mgs). I personally always feel a slight anxiolytic effect from it. Probably everybody on this board had their "I don`t know if I can keep going on like this" moments and yet we`re still here

[Missjess]

I don't have any magnesium either

I won't be taking piracetam again! I haven't managed to sleep yet and it's made me really agitated and I have an extremely dry mouth. Well that's 1 nootropic to tick off my list to never do again. Lol

How many of u have gone through this process ?? Trying to find shit to help u and u must endure the negative effects

[Guest]

When I took Piracetam, my brain went nuts. My thoughts were overflowing and I got stressed out. Why would it work against HPPD/DP/DR I don´t understand. It´s a so called smart drug only and has no anxiolytic effects.

[Guest]

Solveig and Missjess: I´m sorry you had an unfortunate experience. I think you should not do Ayahuasca/Ibogaine when DP´d. I you have some disturbances in your life, you should not take these things.

 

I have never tried these things, but I respect the shamans and yogis who use it for spiritual purposes. Mother earth is not cruel and it can be to your benefit if done correctly. Don Juan would´nt let Castaneda in on his work unless he got proper preparations and training.

 

You may get angry with me for saying this, but I believe these substance are no worse than what a modern doctor would feed you.

 

For me, LSD and shrooms has been a liberating thing even if I got HPPD.

 

I´m gonna try it out and report back. I´ll take my chances, even if you think it´s stupid.

 

Just an observation for you.

[Missjess]

i will never take a hallucinagen ever again!!

 

i am trying to get my psychiatrist to perscribe me suboxone...ever since i had those few glasses of alcohol it feels like im in experincing a mild hallucinagen trip and i feel completely dissociated its horrible!!! trying to refrain myself from not killing myself!

[Guest]

Hey, suicide is not allowed! I´ve thought of that too, it´s really bad but I´m not serious. Guess you´re frustrated and not serious, understandable.

 

Never tried Suboxone, isn´t that for heroinists? Is there any known effect on DP?

[Missjess]

suboxone is a kappa antagonist the only legal drug out there atm...

[mgrade]

Oh Man!!!   I was a regular at dpselfhelp.com.  I had been on this site way earlier though.   I remember you Miss Jess [reddish dyed hair, from England I think].  And I remember you saying that you went to South America for a PTSD/dp/dr exorcism (of sorts).   These chemicals [DMT, Ibogaine, etc etc etc]  are not to be toyed with, as you and the rest of us know.    I'm so sorry though  : (.    In theory these shaman/medicine man cures seem worth doing but I'd be cynical and cautious.  : /

[Solveig]

Yes, in theory it is very alluring, especially for someone that feels desperate for help.  I believe that, within a cultural context, they are useful to people accustomed to rituals accompanying their use, but when outsiders dabble in substances from other cultures in which they have no experience or deep understanding, especially looking for a quick fix, the outcome can be disastrous, much as it was for Missjess and me.  There are success stories with these "medicines," but it's a roll of the dice, and who wants to play Russian roulette with their own brain?  Then again, I guess we all played Russian roulette with our brains, or we wouldn't be on this website.    Ibogaine, however, is not to be trifled with; it's one of the most powerful known hallucinogenics and has the potential to wreak havoc on the brain in a way that no other plant comes close to.  I wish I'd had a touch of cynicism and skepticism myself, but I can't go back and will likely live with the consequences for the rest of my life.  I really feel for you, Missjess, and I hope that other people think twice before using drugs like ibogaine when suffering from dp or other mental disorders.  It may be an ideal last ditch effort for chronic addiction, but fragile mental health should be dealt with in other ways before resorting to substances like ibogaine.

[mgrade]

May I add:  i wouldn't do it.  But hey what do i know?  eh

[Missjess]

mg

 

yes thats me....i dont have anything against ayahuasca...ayahuasca actually helped me and I enjoyed it. I really just feel like I had too strong of a dose of iboga it was just too much for my body and brain to handle. Solveig is right tho..wen u are desperate and I so was because ive had dp for 7 years now, one wants a way out at all costs. The odd thing is tho iboga acctually ridded me of derealization but my dp got much worse. I had the mindset of "im comitting suicide if this plant dont fuking cure me of dp"

 

anyways i just hope these things can be fixed...Solveig plz dont think u will be like this forever if my trip to brazil helps me I am certain it can help u too but i will let u know of my results once i return.

[Lobotomizer]

Ok it sounds like you are panicking so benzos would be urgent at this point. They will calm you down and it sounds like you need that. I have had great success with a natural product called "calm" Its a potent magnesium supplement and can be bought in health food stores. This is by far the best magnesium Ive used for anxiolytic effects. Heres a link http://www.iherb.com/Natural-Vitality-Natural-Calm-The-Anti-Stress-Drink-Original-Unflavored-16-oz-453-g/5121#p=1&oos=1&disc=0&lc=en-US&w=calm&rc=1078&sr=null&ic=1.

 

 

If you cant get benzos prescribed theres a legal alternative called PHENIBUT that can also be bought in health food stores . It can take up to three hours to kick in and can last up to 24 hours. Also just as addictive as any other benzo so use WITH CAUTION. http://www.iherb.com/Primaforce-Phenibut-Unflavored-100-g/25373#p=1&oos=1&disc=0&lc=en-US&w=phenibut&rc=4&sr=null&ic=3

 

Suboxone ? That's a very nasty opiate Id be careful with that. The effects of the "high" it produces may also make you feel worse.

[Missjess]

Ok it sounds like you are panicking so benzos would be urgent at this point. They will calm you down and it sounds like you need that. I have had great success with a natural product called "calm" Its a potent magnesium supplement and can be bought in health food stores. This is by far the best magnesium Ive used for anxiolytic effects. Heres a link http://www.iherb.com/Natural-Vitality-Natural-Calm-The-Anti-Stress-Drink-Original-Unflavored-16-oz-453-g/5121#p=1&oos=1&disc=0&lc=en-US&w=calm&rc=1078&sr=null&ic=1.

 

 

If you cant get benzos prescribed theres a legal alternative called PHENIBUT that can also be bought in health food stores . It can take up to three hours to kick in and can last up to 24 hours. Also just as addictive as any other benzo so use WITH CAUTION. http://www.iherb.com/Primaforce-Phenibut-Unflavored-100-g/25373#p=1&oos=1&disc=0&lc=en-US&w=phenibut&rc=4&sr=null&ic=3

 

Suboxone ? That's a very nasty opiate Id be careful with that. The effects of the "high" it produces may also make you feel worse.

Yep getting sedatives tomorrow!! Seeing my psychiatrist

Thnx for the helpful tips I will defy take ur advice....u rally think the suboxone cud make me feel worse? Wat kind of "high" does it produce?? ....perhaps I shud just use jdtic....

[StateOfRegret]

Missjess; as you are no doubt aware, Suboxone contains buprenorphine and naloxone. You can read a lot of buprenorphine/suboxone experience reports on Erowid.

 

Here's a short excerpt from one of the reports on buprenorphine (no naloxone):

But then the nausea and intense dizziness would hit me again full strength and I decided to lie down on the bed. The drug was quickly making me extremely tired and I felt that I was being sucked towards a big black hole of deep sleep. The very intoxicated feeling of a 'high' still hit me in frequent waves and that was the real interesting and pleasant part. I felt like I was floating. The bed seemed to disappear under me and I could hardly feel my body, there was only a strange and dizzy, but very pleasant sensation of floating. And I got some frequent sensations of happiness and feeling very good. It was strange and rather strong. Eventually I fell asleep, it was unavoidable.

All in all, I don't see why you would take Suboxone if you have the possibility of getting an opioid antagonist without an added opoid - naltrexone, naloxone, JDTic etc. JDTic especially sounds promising, in my opinion :-)

[Lobotomizer]

Yep getting sedatives tomorrow!! Seeing my psychiatrist

Thnx for the helpful tips I will defy take ur advice....u rally think the suboxone cud make me feel worse? Wat kind of "high" does it produce?? ....perhaps I shud just use jdtic....

Wow this "jdtic" pharmaceutical sounds very interesting. Its completely new to me. Im very curious about it and will do some personal research on it. Please let us know how that goes.

 

In regards to suboxone I personally love the way opiods feel and enjoy the euphoria from time to time recreationally but I have witnessed some anxiety-prone individuals react differently; dysphoric, anxious, etc.  Being that youre in a fragile state Id be weary of a powerful substance like that, not to mention it too is addictive and anecdotally very difficult to kick. I cant wrap my head around why suboxone would be prescribed, however Im no psychiatrist and this substance may offer effective treatment other than opiod withdrawal. Knowing what I know and what Ive been through I would ASSUME that GABAnergics (sp?) would offer the most relief. In fact if and when I use any powerful tryptamines/phenethylamines I keep them on hand to "abort" a trip if things aren't going as smoothly as planned. 

 

Also be careful with the suggestions I gave you in regards to Phenibut, I don't know the contraindications in regards to any drugs that your doc may start you on. Definitely give him/her the details of any substances that you have in your system. Phenibut lasts a very long time in your system.