telling parents

[iwasnineteen]

what are some of your experiences with breaking the news to your parents? how do you tell them? how have they reacted? i know i have to tell them at some point but don't know what to expect or what a good way to say it would be... :/

[Merkan]

Great topic.

Well my parents had to take care of me for a week pre HPPD since i took some speed (nasty drug, only did it once and im glad) at the time when i dropped that bad ecstasy that gave me HPPD. I couldn't take the WD of the speed, well it wasn't proper WD since i i only did it once but i had tremendous anxiety. So they new bout my drug use. I thought they would not understand but they never blamed me for anything. I guess they sorta just accepted it all and wasn't surprised that something else came out of it. Of course, at that time no one new that it was HPPD but that was clear later in the process with docs.

I do not know your situation with your parents but i think the only way is to be serious and say that you made a mistake and now going threw some difficult times that is hard to explain. If they are good parents they will appreciate your honesty more then being angry for a mistake in your youth. My father read up on HPPD on some papers i gave him and he understood more what was going on.

[iwasnineteen]

did your parents have too take care of you for your first few months at all too, following that first week? i'm feeling very needy..

Great topic.

Well my parents had to take care of me for a week pre HPPD since i took some speed (nasty drug, only did it once and im glad) at the time when i dropped that bad ecstasy that gave me HPPD. I couldn't take the WD of the speed, well it wasn't proper WD since i i only did it once but i had tremendous anxiety. So they new bout my drug use. I thought they would not understand but they never blamed me for anything. I guess they sorta just accepted it all and wasn't surprised that something else came out of it. Of course, at that time no one new that it was HPPD but that was clear later in the process with docs.

I do not know your situation with your parents but i think the only way is to be serious and say that you made a mistake and now going threw some difficult times that is hard to explain. If they are good parents they will appreciate your honesty more then being angry for a mistake in your youth. My father read up on HPPD on some papers i gave him and he understood more what was going on.

[balance]

I was fairly young when I started taking drugs (although I don't know if drugs are the actual cause of my symptoms) I was about 16-17 when I started doing shrooms, cannabis, pills (I did many, not knowing what the hell was in them though, stupid move on my part) and speed. I told my mum and she was dissapointed, not angry but dissapointed, which I'm sure most of you know that this is worse than them getting angry, it was a horrible feeling, my dad doesn't know of my drug use but I told my mum because I can't lie to here at all, so it wasn't a good feeling.

The best way to do it is just do it, get it out of the way, it was awkward for a while after but thats expected better to get it over and done with than stress about it.

[ColForbin]

Agreed on this being a good topic. My parents knew something was up because we suspected I had a sleeping disorder (due to crazy static and closed eye visuals and vivid dreams). I had been fucked for a while, and it was only when I stumbled across this board that I connected the dots. I told my parents over dinner, and although I expected them to be mad, they appreciated the honesty. They didn't believe it was from the drugs, but they were happy I felt I could confide in them.

Later, it lead to some interesting discussions about my parents' youth, and on the whole, I feel I got closer to both of them because of it.

As far as needing to be taken care of, not really in the literal sense. But given that anxiety and depression run in my family, I felt my mom understood me the most out of anyone (I was 20 at the time fyi). There was definitely a long period where we talked nearly every day. She ended up being the first one who actually believed me when I talked about what I was experiencing, and that meant more to me than anything. Without her, I don't know what would have happened to me, and for that reason alone I think it is worth telling your parents. Just make sure they realize that you are smart person that made a decision that had unfortunate consequences and not some other distorted scenario.

[Merkan]

In one way yes, they needed to make me accept going to the doc and treat my condition. They made the calls etc.

I was so low at that time.

did your parents have too take care of you for your first few months at all too, following that first week? i'm feeling very needy..

[1998]

I would just have somebody take care of whoever dosed you. If that happened to me, I'd cripple them!!!!!!!!!!

[David S. Kozin]

Pinned this thread. This can be a very useful area for people to share advice from many perspectives.

I had trouble with my family believing I had HPPD even after diagnosed by Dr. Abraham, having a qEEG, and starting HPPDonline.com. They thought it was me "playing doctor". The conversation about it was blown off. (Oh, I was also on NPR show about it.).

It was much more that my parents did not believe it could be as distressing as it was. They also do not use any drugs, so it was completely foreign to them.

Now, my mother has served as a treasurer for NODID and has paid more money for web site updates, etc. than any other. And, I did graduate with my Senior Thesis on the topic. Now, they accept it but cant imagine it.

- David

[Saber44]

Haven't said a word, nor do I plan on doing so. If I felt so compelled I assume I could make a doctors appointment on my own (I am still under my mom's health insurance) and pay the copay. It is true that because I am over 18 my doctor cannot share my records with my parents, correct? Would they be able to find out through their health insurance company?

I feel like this is my problem and my responsibility. I don't want my parents to have more things to worry about.

[cdfxsderer]

i told my parents about 3 months ago. and im 16 still. i told my mom before i told my dad. i was debating telling her for awhile.

early that week someone wrote "fuck it" on this pole next to where my parents park(which is kind of a weird thing to write on a pole)

so one day i came up to my mom and i was thinking about telling her than i said "fuck it" under my breath and she asked what was wrong.

so i told her. she wasnt mad or anything more worried. but i told her im fine with it and everything happens for a reason (im honestly glad this happend to me by the way)

she has trails from doing acid so she kind of understood.

i told my dad a couple weeks afterwards and he was not mad. just really worried and he still doesn't believe, to this day, there's not a pill that will help.

he grew up with a hardcore christian family and never did any drugs really.

so from my experience telling my parents i can tell you that you dont have to be worried about your parents being mad.

its an extremely serious thing, and if your parents are mature im sure theyll understand.

[minderbinder141]

I don't think I could ever tell my father, have yet to say anything to my mother. I haven't told my girlfriend yet tho I want to so badly, it's such a hard thing to bring up

[Lucid206]

funny, my brother was the one who told them, in my youth you were strong or you die.. if i admitted weakness , id be a easy target for the rival gangs, not to mention GU would fuck with me more)..so i never said anything, but since my brothers nosey & knows my passwords, he read all the stormloader shit and hppdonline post(his quote? "damn i was reading a diff person, you sounded mellow")

( anyones thats been around awhile will find that halarious. all tho i do represent myself better on paper, ill still stab you for fucking me over. )

but back on subject.. my brother told um, "man he sits around for hours trying to promote a not well-knowen disorder"... of course my father(good man) was like no fucking way he'd have anything to do in the medical(not that he thought i was dumb, just i have disorganized schizophrenia 'basicly schizophrenia' without delusions of any form(for thoes that dont know the diff, it basicly means i cant make up my mind, and when i do my iq rivals einstein.. dunno why its a schizo disorder, feels morelike a learning disorder ya know? not being able to grasp a math problem on the board after teacher showed it to us, but once i get it... i master it.. was a chess master who got to play alo tof foriegn chess masters when i was pre-pubisent and i won 30% of the time... in fact i feel its more of a gift then anything... sorry amphetamine got me ramblin), and i do things i regret or feel i wasnt on point or rather insulted someone for no reason.

Back to subject...

when they finnally came to realize thats why i dropped out of school and basicly didnt talk to anyone but my keyboard for years(nowadays i got a great relationship with them) and when id talk to them id sound like a thug when i was younger so they were feeling i just wanted to spend more time in court then a t home heh.

my point is, if ur parients respect you, then tell um.. it willl make life 90% easier, no tip toeing, no bs..

it all matters who your parients are, mine are X-hippies(well they still toke a good deal a day and my mother lightly drinks... lightly to me anyways.. 4-5 shots aday + a 3pack a day of 120's habbit with stage 4 copd)

point being, wasnt that much for them to grasp... if you rparients are strict with anti-drug logic, sux but ur better off on ur own, and if they are fine with it like mine.. no change on this end..

i cam to this conclusion.. only tell people that are in psychedelic abuse, also media to get the word out... but besides that sadly this is a solo disorder, as the doctor who know about HPPD say, "the patient knows more then the doctor" and that shits rare.

if your begging for acceptance... then you should redefine who you are wake up and move on.. if your parients are good people, dosent hurt to let um know....

worst response i got was

"figures"

[HBB]

I think if you're honest, and you think it is the right thing to do, you can't go wrong.

[corytra19]

ive had hppd for about 8 months now and im nineteen. My lsd and mescaline abuse was rather apparent to my mom, considering the fact i was staying at a house she owned and she would come visit me almost everyday. my mom was a little skeptical as well. after i was diagnosed she couldnt grasp the idea of mildly tripping all the time without any recent drug use. its very hard because my mom gets very angry and frustrated with me about several things but i dont feel like explaining to her what dp dr is or why i cant do this or why i do this like that. us with hppd percieve the world way too different to try and describe to a "normal" person to understand. but shes my mom. she doesnt enjoy hearing about my symptoms, neither does she enjoy playing music around me, as she sees what it does to me. i know shes just sad and dissappointed that i altered my brain chemistry. of course shes a parent. id cry if my child experienced half of what i do. but life goes on. with or without hppd.

[John Smith]

what are your symptoms man? how much did you trip? Ive always wished i couldve tried mescaline somewhere in the desert...sigh

[corytra19]

i tripped 3 0r 4 times a week. lets say the drugs were just prevalent in my situation. some of my symptoms are different forms of synesthesia, so my eyes and body sometimes wander to the beat of music. after i smoked synthetic cannabis for a few weeks it doubled the perceptual distortions. and then i did shrooms a couple times thinking it wouldnt make things worse. it amplified the images within images and the tracers. but now ive been sober for 6 months and im coping. still see my mo on a consistent basis and i just think its best when i dont mention anything about it. let the parents know, but dont use it as an excuse or a conversation for attention. parents dont like to constantly be reminded about how messed up drugs made u.

[schwartzweiß]

I told my parents pretty much right away. It was 2 days after my actual trip and i thought i was going crazy. They kind of freaked out over me doing synthetic drugs, but they were somewhat understanding. They helped me a lot and are very supportive. Since my mum is also kind of my doctor we now talk basically everyday even though i live in a different city and only come home on the weekend. But its also a struggle, since my mum believes in holistic medicine and im more of a science nerd and want to see a psychiatrist. Im still at the beginning of this all but im sure they will support me.

[C'mere]

Can I just say..I will never...ever tell my parents.I would rather suffer in silence.There is no way they could ever understand

[John Smith]

You could tell em my story...you got sold weed laced with pcp, not your fault, it's just weed, you were inexperienced with it and smoked a lot and before you knew it you were frying and it messed with your head...youre better off if they know man, they will be more understanding, they will help you stay clean, i held it in for a year and i wish i hadnt

[C'mere]

I've been holding it in since late 2008..I handled it.I'm over panic attacks and depersonalization..it's day to fear of anxiety and losing my mind(that's all yep)I should tell them I know..cheers for your advice.I just don't want to disappoint them

[John Smith]

Thats what hurt me the most too...my dad still doesnt believe me haha...do what you think is best i guess

[Still_here]

Haven't said a word, nor do I plan on doing so. If I felt so compelled I assume I could make a doctors appointment on my own (I am still under my mom's health insurance) and pay the copay. It is true that because I am over 18 my doctor cannot share my records with my parents, correct? Would they be able to find out through their health insurance company?

I feel like this is my problem and my responsibility. I don't want my parents to have more things to worry about.

Couldnt agree more!

My mum and dad have enough on their plates without having to worry about a disorder they cant fix. I keep it a secret from my family, especially as my mum suffers from depression and cant sleep when she worries! My mum is a paliative care nurse (looks after the dying) so she doesnt need my self inflicted shit on top!

[psilocybin420]

i think my dad has hppd, in his own way, its sorta sad but its ok. we talked about it in the realm of perception rather than doing drugs which is what let me know he understood. but when i told my mom , which was much earlier, she just told me i was insane. that hurt alot. i was young. it sucked but its all been done now and i go to the college with no building.

[HBB]

Two ways to consider it:

1: like a general assessing the probability of a victory. If you have pondered and analyzed your parents long enough, and believe it worth the risk, do it. You must also determine the worst case scenario, and consider if you could live with it.

2: I think it is extremely similar to coming out of the closet to one's parents. There is a sort of randomized element to it. I specifically remember telling my dad I was thinking about experimenting with LSD like the Beetles etc etc, and he told me if I did drugs "don't come cry back to me." Yet when I broke the news to him, after I think him realizing something was extremely wrong with me for a few years, he was, to my utter amazement, completely supportive, and has spent thousands of dollars in medical fees supporting me.

So I think you can and should predict, extremely carefully if necessary (a person with hppd can be crippled to varying degrees, and if your parents might cut off all financial aid in a fit of rage and retribution, this is potentially a life or death decision, if taken to the extreme), what your parents will do. Make a list, make a chart, etc etc. But then realize that no matter how carefully you plan and predict, there is an element of randomness to it.

[ADHD]

I havent told them.... I do not want to burden them with any more of my problems.......

But if your young and your hppd is really bad, I would tell them............