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Super depressed.... :/


craig88

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I dont knoe what has happened but HPPD has hit an all time worse..I had these for the past 3 years and as of the past month or so its been so bad..I feel so spaced out dp/dr thru the roof...Im just so sad and alone...Noone knows what im going through..Its been more then tolerable the past few years.. but now its jsut hit me way worse out of no where...I hope it gets better..I wake up depressed every morning. The only time i have pease is when im asleeep.

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I feel ya brother sleep is my best friend too sometimes! I'm hitting my 2 year mark and I feel like this shit is dragging on longggggg and my fucking gps are useless they ain't doing shit plus I been dealing with other health issues and it's just like what the fuck why is the universe dealt me this shit hand I'm got some shitty ass health I'm out of work living at home no chick and I feel

Like no matter what I do to try and get a problem sorted I get another problem if I try and try to be positive and do positive things I still get negative shit life is a real fucking joke sometimes I think what is the meaning what is the point my life is fuxking pointless there is no meaning to it I feel like I ain't doing nothing I feel like I'm in purgatory I'm not quite living a life of hell it could be worse but I sure as hell ain't close to the good life if I could at least get some drugs to trial I'd be happier but thes muvafucking English docs are useless pricks RANT OVER lol I guess we just gotta hang in there dude and hope for the best in the future I felt better when i was exercising and since I had reflux and an op I ain't done none which has made me depressed and pissed keep yo chin up mannnn peaceeeee

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Just push yourself through it man. Come out stronger then you were before and acknowledge how strong you are for simply putting up with the bullshit as long as you did. Many people kill themselves over less because they just don't feel like even trying. I have never felt as good as I do now from actually doing things not just trying.

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Yes. I have been thrown into a deep depression. But this is nothing new.

The hard part that i found is that i was generally an introvert before this and now i am forced to be an extrovert because i am unable to be in my brain and i have lost a fair amount of my natural talents. I cannot think deeply like i used to and now i am forced to deal with people of which 9/10 are f'k'n assholes.

And because of that i remain alone most of the time. But like i said i have cognitive deficiencies etc.; so things are very difficult for me.

I totally feel your pain.

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I don't even get peace when I'm asleep. I wake up 3 or 4 times a night on a average of 5 or 6 hours because of anxiety related dreams. I can't get past them to a dreamless restorative sleep! It's like running into a lead wall expecting it to give way. The only time I get peace is when I'm drunk and benzod out my head so I blackout and I not even me anymore. Pretty shit.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

Sometimes the fkn depression doesn't leave you!  Medical or physical conditions and circumstances as well as mental issues really make it so you envy your 'old self' (if there ever was an old self).   Nothing is storybook.  I wish it were.   

 

I realized nothing was making me feel good at all.  I had to listen to this song like 3x and i started feeling a bit better. 

 

 

 

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This shit is starting to get me down too. I'm approaching 2 years with DP/DR and I never thought I would be one of those to have it this long. In the beginning I figured I'd be relatively back to normal in a year at the most. It's just depressing seeing all my friends around me going out and being social and living good productive lives while I'm doing the complete opposite. I could deal with the HPPD, if only this awful DP would go away. 

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I feel walled off from the world, my social life is falling apart and i do not know why because i can't backtrack my life.

Every situation seems unreal, and every friend seems fake.

 

I get one step cloes to happiness, which means i get two steps back.

I seem to be impervious to happiness.

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