VisualDude Posted June 12, 2012 Report Share Posted June 12, 2012 I think they're out to get me !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aztec99 Posted June 16, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 16, 2012 Lol @ flying carpets. I can see how they trip you out haha. Unfortunately for me I get scared about HPPD but only for like 2 months and then I get used to it. I only have the visuals and if I ignore or get used to them then they are really nothing more than an annoyance. In the meantime, I really want to get fucked up. I have already decided to get messed up again. 2muchmandy, yes it is stupid and crazy. Maybe the only way for me to learn is to get DP/DR and see the morphing and have regret. I've got a week off during the week of 4th of July and plan to get totally shit faced mainly with methylone. On a positive note, if I do damage my HPPD severely, my Sinemet, Keppra, Memantine and benzos came in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1998 Posted June 16, 2012 Report Share Posted June 16, 2012 You can smoke weed, drink alcohol, take pills occasionally isn't that enough. I remember when I only had the visuals with nothing more, It didn't bother me at all. Now I'd cut my arm off, go to jail for some time, many crazy things to not feel like I'm on a horrible hit of acid for the rest of my life. Hope you make the right choices and don't fuck with your brain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jay1 Posted June 16, 2012 Report Share Posted June 16, 2012 Maybe the only way for me to learn is to get DP/DR and see the morphing and have regret. The problem is, you might be left "learning" for the rest of your life. you have so much info at your finger tips, so many stories of the living hell some of us have been through or are going through, the last post I read was from someone waiting for their parents to die so that they can kill themselves without guilt... Take the fucking hint, your body isn't built for drugs and things will get worse from further drug use. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ludwig80 Posted June 16, 2012 Report Share Posted June 16, 2012 ^^^^^^ what jay & 1998 said... Things can be so much worse if you play roulette. Stop while you're ahead man. We have your best interest in mind. In the last 6 years I've read to many stories of people making this mistake, including myself. Always turns out bad eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted June 16, 2012 Report Share Posted June 16, 2012 I agree, take the fuckin hint son, iv been 100% sober for my whole illneas. No sugar no coffee no fuck all...and im STILL gerting worse. New symptoms. I have 2 new symptoms that appeared just this fucking week. This isnt fun this isnt a joke. Its not a case of " hey brooo, im so hardcore I fried my head a lil, but im cool itl stop " sort ur life out before u have no life atal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miketusa Posted June 17, 2012 Report Share Posted June 17, 2012 I smoked a tiny bit of really shitty weed yesterday. I was at a party with about 50 other people blackout drunk, it was the most difficult situation I have been in thus far post hppd. Since i have the hppd I dont drink, and told my friend Id drive his car home. I took one little hit, and I still notice a slight increase today. Id say I was recovered a lot more than I thought, and I retracted it back a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aztec99 Posted June 22, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Hell yea. Maybe if I'm on vacation and its a moderate amount then I'll be ok. With all my depression and anxiety drugs can actually be a good thing if not abused. I just have to be super mindful of any variance in the severity of my HPPD symptoms. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ludwig80 Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 It'll probably be too late once you notice a variance.. Seriously, consider excercise or finding something to get completely absorbed in, like music, rather than drugs. Do not make the same mistake some of us did-- understand it can get sooo much worse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Why is it so hard to get into ur head. U have fucked up ur brain on drugs. If u have anxiety issues drugs are not gunna help this. If u are gunna take drugs dont post about it. Its insulting, some people here have crippling hppd and struggle to get through the day, dont want some moron boasting about " im alright this disorder isnt bad i.still take drugs " one day itl catch up and fuck u so hard u wont believe. This disorder has driven people to madness and some to suicide. Why do u think ur any different? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuroeone Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 If he wants to play with fire then let him, There isn't anything on this forum that hasn't already been said and if that isn't enough for him then let him learn the hard way. We know it's not a joke or something to be taken lightly and thats all that matters, no point getting worked up over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted June 22, 2012 Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 Good point man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aztec99 Posted June 23, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 You know what. 2muchmandy, I'll admit I am a moron. I have all the warning signs but still I want to get fucked up and that is what will happen. I just can't help it because my life sucks and I hate myself. Folks, thank you for the support and bashing both. I suppose I wasn't going to be talked out of it either way. DId you guys develop DR/DR and other significant symptoms right away or did it come after repeated use as I am about to do? Because I don't have DP/DR I can live life just fine and after my last relapse their was a minor increase in visual symptoms. Why are you so convinced that I will end up in "living hell"? Perhaps you are thinking that that will happen to me because that is your situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gmo Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 ^^^^ There's definitely a degree of self-projection in situations like these....it's kind of unavoidable though. In all honesty, based off of my group of drug using friends and other drug forums I read on, I think people developing long-term significant problems from psyches are in the minority. That being said, I think everyone who uses them significantly, experiences to some extent, some visual or perceptual changes and maybe some differences in the way they operate mentally. I have a few friends who've confided in me that psyches have made things different for them, but no one's ever described anything near what I go through. So really it just comes down to the individual..........we're pretty much all gonna tell you that you're taking risks because this is a site built for people specifically experiences negative reactions to drugs.......but if you were to go on shroomery or bluelight, the majority of the people would tell you that HPPD and drug related issues are vastly overstated and not something you should worry about. So really it just depends on who you talk to. But to answer your question, I continued to smoke weed and I smoked DMT a few times and tripped LSD once more after I started getting warning signs. It took about six months after my initial warning signs before I developed DP and I've had it since. My personal opinion, is do you what you want, if you wanna get fucked up get fucked up.....it's your life, but just know there are risks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuroeone Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 Ahhh man despite what i said i know how you feel though, i ended up worse because i wanted to continue to drink (i think) through the first 9 months of this shit and even right now i'm still craving alcohol despite my situation, i keep on thinking what if it wasn't the alcohol that made me worse and its just hppd progressing on its strange course so would it really make a difference if i continue to drink? Even though i have been sober since febuary i am still noticing new disturbances. Like it was just said if you wanna do it, do it, just remember once the damage is done, it is seemingly irreversible. If you think your life sucks now, it can get a whole lot worse, this hppd bullshit is relentless and dp/dr is even more fucked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2muchmandy Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 It doesnt matter if ur life sucks and ur unhappy or what not. The past 3 years have driven me to the edge of suicide multiple times iv been so unlucky u wouldnt believe,life has been a verticle struggle then at my lowest point given hppd. Not kicked while I was down...shot in the fuckin face. It doesnt matter how bad things are man its about self preservation. If ur life is so shit...all u have left is urself...why risk losing that too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VisualDude Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 You know what. 2muchmandy, I'll admit I am a moron. I have all the warning signs but still I want to get fucked up and that is what will happen. I just can't help it because my life sucks and I hate myself. Folks, thank you for the support and bashing both. I suppose I wasn't going to be talked out of it either way. DId you guys develop DR/DR and other significant symptoms right away or did it come after repeated use as I am about to do? Because I don't have DP/DR I can live life just fine and after my last relapse their was a minor increase in visual symptoms. Why are you so convinced that I will end up in "living hell"? Perhaps you are thinking that that will happen to me because that is your situation. Throughout the years I've always heard people say how they aren't affected by drugs (beyond the momentary trip). Yet I always see problems ... some major but most seemingly minor. Messing with the brain can be subtle and is accumulative. There are reasons that drugs are illegal - it isn't just some uptight puritanical attitude. Yes, it is everyone's choice - but you do not sound like a person who is choosing. The mental state you are in is the very reason to seek help from addiction councelors. If you don't have $$$ then there are always ones that do voluntary work. Waiting for the 'ideal' one is not suitable, get help now even if you have an appointment with someone 'ideal'. Lifestyles of human vary tremendously - some live in palaces, some in huts, some in caves, and some in the streets. The point is, you have choices. With addictions a person gets trapped in feeling that you have no choice. Whether sex or drugs, it isn't something you do by choice - it is now a compulsion that drives a person beyond reason. How it that enjoyable? Also, you cannot count on meds to save you in the future. When it comes to the health of neurons, recovery is slow and problematic. As low as life can get, it can always get worse. It can get better too but this is rarely a random event. You clearly need to be 'rescued' ... but we here in cyberspace cannot give you a physical hand. You can see by postings here we want to help. But you have to want it too. Don't turn away friendship. By working with professionals trained to help this sort of thing, you can regain choice. As corny as it sounds, life without drugs has a lot to offer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VisualDude Posted June 23, 2012 Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 [ double post ] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aztec99 Posted June 25, 2012 Author Report Share Posted June 25, 2012 I had a dream last night that was crazy apropos. In this dream, I was driving around not sober. I was messed up on something (drugs) but not too bad. I came upon an intersection at night and looked to the left to turn but there was too much traffic that way, too many cars. So I took off real quick to the right. Then for a split second I saw headlights and another car. I then was coming back to consciousness surrounded by friends. I was began to talk to them like everything was status quo, what's up. Then I scarily began to realize that something wasn't right. My spine was all fucked up and my speech slurred, slow, and somehow just not right. My friends said "you don't realize what's happened'. Then I woke up. Fuck me. Visual, you are right. I need some help man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgrade Posted June 29, 2012 Report Share Posted June 29, 2012 It could get much worse man. Just stay away from any drug not prescribed by an expert. Serious, you wanna end up like the rest of us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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