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Found 13 results

  1. It may just be me getting used to hppd but i find my all cevs to be fading, i find my visual snow to even be less when my eyes are closed as opposed to when theyre opened. Its like im getting a taste of what its like pre trip. Itll be 4 months in 5 days. Unfortunately it seems that when my eyes are opened the static is constant.
  2. Hello All! My name is Victoria. For the last, about 2 years now, I have been experiencing persisting visual disturbances daily. These vision issues include staticy vision, trails, depth perception issues, light sensitivity, inability to focus. They used to calm down when I rested (I take almost daily naps because of this), but now it doesn't really seem to go away much. I have experimented with a lot of drugs. To be honest, in the past few years though, it has only really been MDMA. Lots of MDMA. I haven't really done much in a while though. One pill in February, and not really anything since last year. I hardly even smoke weed anymore. I feel like somehow the symptoms are getting worse and I am not doing anything anymore. I have been to an optometrist, optamologist, I am getting an MRI of my brain done to see if there is any scarring on my brain. I also now experience migraines. I had a substance abuse issue about 7 years ago and when I ended those days I recovered almost fully. A couple years after that, I would randomly dabble in stuff, but not that often and I never had these issues unless I was super anxious. Now this is a part of my life now. No one can tell me what's going on as everything about me shows perfectly healthy everywhere. I have tinted glasses that really help with the light sensitivity at work, but will this ever go away? Just to clarify, this didn't begin after a particular trip. I recognized these visual disturbances as something I would experience during high points of anxiety as a result of my previous drug use. About 2 years ago, is when it became a daily almost consistent thing throughout the day. Now it's basically present at all points in time. Just would love to hear from people that may be going through something similar.
  3. Hello, I'd like to preface my story by mentioning that ever since I was a little kid, I've had lots of HPPD symptoms before doing any drugs. The first one I noticed was visual snow. i wasn't born with it, but it developed when I was probably about 5. I actually thought it was normal. I also started seeing CEVs, with big splotches of bright colors moving around in my vision after closing my eyes for long enough. Then when I was maybe about 13 I started developing mild palinopsia. I never saw afterimages per se, but if I darted my eyes somewhere, and they happened to pass by a light, I would see a long trail of the light. There were a few other symptoms but they were pretty mild. About a year ago, I first started smoking cannabis a few times a month (not synthetic). It's the only psychedelic I've ever done. For the first 6 months or so I had no problems at all. One night though, I got much higher than usual. I don't know exactly how many hits I took, but even my friend who was an experienced smoker admitted to being really high. After I came down, I was driving home and I noticed some trails or afterimages along the white lines on the street. I could see that something had changed about my vision as time went on, but it was really mild. I would see more afterimages than usual and was more sensitive to light. I ignored it and attributed it to being a coincidence. I smoked a few more times, but in small amounts, and it never got worse. Convinced that the weed didn't cause it, I decided to get really stoned again just to see what would happen, and sure enough the palinopsia got much worse. I now saw true afterimages after looking at anything, even if it wasn't very bright. The afterimages lasted about one second. I felt very depressed but eventually got used to it. Now here's where you'll stop feeling sorry for me. 3 months after the last episode, I decided to try smoking in a very low dose again. Since I didn't have any problems with the lower doses before, I figured it might be okay. I only took about 5 hits or so and the palinopsia did get a little worse. The afterimages are more intense and easier to induce. Also, my visual snow has noticeably gotten worse. It's been about two weeks. Needless to say I've learned my lesson now, but it does suck because I'd honestly like to continue smoking, but I guess I can't take any more chances. Migraines run in my family, so I have a feeling that this is an underlying migraine problem that's just been exacerbated by the weed. I've been seeking treatment from a neurologist (although I didn't tell him this was from a drug). He prescribed me Topamax which I tried briefly and experienced no results from. I don't like that drug because it messes up my cognitive function so much. That's the extent of my treatment thus far. I decided to join the forum after learning that this was HPPD. I hope I can get back to my old normal one day.
  4. Hello everyone, I would like to share my SPECT-scan result with you. I was able to get it in Italy because of a friend of mine who also has Visual Snow who works as a nurse in Di Venere hospital in Bari. I was unable to get it in Holland because of several reasons. Link: http://youtu.be/b3Dtrt5pJ7U My symptoms are: visual snow, after images, trails, tinnitus, hyperacusis, light beams that shoot away from objects, blue field entoptic phenomenon etc. PS www.visualsnow.eu is still under construction. Ben
  5. So, basicly at night time, when I'm going to bed. Lights off. It's really dark and my visual snow is getting a lot more apparent. Usually I barely notice any visual snow during daytime (kind of the only symptom that isn't severe for me). When relaxing and trying to fall asleep I suddenly see my visual snow is taking shapes. There is no difference with eyes open or shut. I see my room and every detail of it with closed eyes, even though it's pitch black. It forms in a astral-like tunnel that pulls me further in. Colours are coming in, different beautiful shapes squirling around this inner circle, going deeper and deeper. And the visual snow is a total non-existance. If I'm not focusing on the CEV:s which is basicly just like a low dose of LSD, it disappears and then turns into standard visual snow again. My theory is that, visual snow is a constant pattern of fractals and tunnels and geometrical patterns but during daylight, we obviously don't see it like that. We just notice the visual snow because our brain capacity isn't able to put it all togheter as they're quite advanced but light patterns. That means that our visual snow are OEV:s, but we just see the small static, and not the real trippy patterns and fractals that are taking shapes at every awake second. Then you question yourself, since the acid is out of your body. There are no psychoactive substances in our bodies. How can we possible see these OEV:s of endless patterns? Hell, even some victims of visual snow got it from smoking weed or were simply born with it. How can they start to litteraly trip constantly visionally without even ingesting any psychadelics? Some with strong visual snow reports seeing geometrical patterns on walls and roofs etc. This is simply your visual snow taking it's true form and you are finally seeing it. Lets do some trials here, if it doesn't bother you too much. These CEV:s is the only thing that I think is positive with my HPPD as it helps me sleep and calm me down in a strange way. But don't doubt me, it's still a living hell with the rest. Got a bit of anxiety added to the mess now as well. Can't say I missed that friend.. Anyhow, back to the subject. Would you fellow victims be so kind to focus on your visual snow during bedtime? You'll have to be drug-free in order to do this, and try to find yourself relaxed. (Yes, I wrote try). To see if it goes from having visual snow to a trippy pattern basicly. Just focus on the small little static-mother-fuckers att see what they'll turn in to. These tunnels reminds me of the greatest trip I had about a year ago where traveling through time and space in a 3-dimensional space ending up in a dark void where this giant female godess made out of light was spinning slowly while hearing a phantomic buzz as she was spinning. It was the best experience in my life. I told myself I was done with psychadelics as it was the perfect trip. I wish that I'd kept that promise. So why should we do this and what would it be good for? Well, research is great and it outrules a lot of theories on the visual snow, if it actually is CEV:s or OEV:s that's constantly is apparent then maybe that could lead to clues for a better treatment. I read about a guy that feel the exact same way as me, so please do this one and get back here to give an update. Thanks!
  6. Hello all, I'm not 100% sure if i have hppd or visual snow. I tripped 8/9 months ago and only developed full symptoms two months ago. Ever since the trip +2weeks I have had constant Scheerer's Phenomenon which is when you see the moving sparkles and translucent floaters in the sky and on light bright objects. This is by far my most irritating symptom. Since mid September i have also suffered from DP/DR (though this has gotten a lot better), visual snow, after images, more persistent floaters, and double vision often when on phone/trying to read. I believed i had hppd in the beginning but I have also looked into visual snow and realised that sufferers of visual snow sometimes also have the extra symptoms i describe. Is like to ask if i have hppd or visual snow syndrome? And can visual snow syndrome be caused by drugs or is it random?
  7. Hi, I'm an 18 year old girl who has had hppd i believe for 8 months. I stumbled across this board a few weeks ago and decided to join hoping it might help having some support around me. The reason why I say my HPPD is a little atypical is because of how it originated and what has happened to me. I believe I first got very mild HPPD from times in December and February I tripped. I have only ever taken what you would call actual psychedelics twice (if you discount MDMA and weed). What I took on these two trips was most likely a 2c chemical (2cb/2ci/etc). I know, I'm a dumbass. Shouldn't have took pills I didn't know the contents of. The first time I took 4/5 of the god damn things, second time I took 2. I wish I could give more info on what they are. When I developed this really mild HPPD about 2 weeks after my second trip, I didn't really give a shit about it, I think I thought it was interesting. I remember the exact moment it onset - it was about 4.30Pm and I was walking home, I was looking at the sky and I started tripping out on the sky like I did on my second trip. I saw - and still see - little white dot 'sparkles' moving through and between each other, and 'translucent 'ripples' in the sky. No other real symptoms though and the sky stuff was fairly mild. I started to get CEV for a month or two but i forgot about that/it left. Throughout this time every few weeks I was taking mephedrone and I took MDMA about 3 times. I noticed I started tripping out as I was coming down sometimes but it didn't last. Then in summer I drank alcohol a decent amount, took mephedrone only once about 1g, went out the same night and smoked weed through i think it was a 'bowl'? Whatever it was it was strong as hell. I was stoned to death for hours, dry heaving, dry mouth to the point i thought i would die, the absolute lot. Finally fell asleep, woke up in the morning and everything was normal just felt reallllll hungover. Around 3-4 weeks after that I had my first panic attack. Around 3 weeks of that is when I can say my REAL HPPD started. I had a traumatic discovery about my family, went into a state of depersonalisation and derealisation, didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me. I had no emotions at all, I didn't even feel like I existed. I felt like an object in the room. It felt and still sometimes feels like everyone else is on one plane and I am on another, its like looking through a misted up window at life. Also started getting intense headaches. I've got over that mostly I think but when that happened... The visuals came. Oh boy they came. First noticed the visual snow. This is a constant 24/7 thing as are many of my visual symptoms. Then the visuals I previously described on the sky got more and more intense - those moving sparkles and translucent ripples in shape grew in size and speed. I also started to see these sky visuals on white/bright surfaces when outside (never inside). Recently I have developed positive after images - when i look at literally ANYTHING, like i will look at someone's eyes, look away get an after image of their eyes, same with text, objects, whatever. And a lot of floaters at night when cars are going past etc. I also have a thing with seeing a green/white circle floater in my vision. This comes and goes but it has NO OUTER STIMULUS. Two times now it has come for 4/5 days then left again. What bothers me the most is the sky stuff - the moving sparkles and translucent ripples. Recently these have stopped being solely confined to the sky and now when I'm outside I will just see them all over, its so annoying. The ripples themselves move and they have become more defined and form weird shapes. So yeah, I think thats the extent of my symptoms. Other than the obvious intense anxiety and depression - and agoraphobia - i have now developed more as a result. It has been two months and at the first onset In September i had suicidal thoughts. Over that mostly i think. But its been pretty hard. I'm really hoping that this gets better at least a bit soon and then keeps getting better. I am in a really frustrated place now. I've just booked on to get therapy. I dont know when il start considering meds like klonopin and keppra. If anyone has any advice for me id appreciate it soooo much!
  8. Hello fellow inmates, This August will mark the 28th anniversay of my hppd event. I can't gloss it over, it's been tough. Although I knew a few students in college who had persisting halos, trails and strobe motions visuals - my problem is different. The Facebook page for this site currently has an example of the floaters and flashes, sparks and static that I see every day. For the most part, my life has been good. But, my hppd has been a big contributer to serious bouts of depression and anxiety. It has impacted my life in significantly negative ways. Luckily, when I am doing well, the floaters and flashes don't bother me much. I cope with them. If I am stressed and depressed? they bother me much more. Finally, in 2012, I discovered that my condition had a medical term and that my symptoms were not unique. All the doctors and therapists I had discussed this with had never heard of a permanent visual side effects from LSD. About five years into my hppd, I was lucky to have a neurologist who took me serioulsy and ordered a Visual field test, PET and MRI. He claimed that there may be some slight abnormality in my optic cyasm - the junction where the two optic nerves meet and then enter the brain. They can diagnose this by a delay in the signals from the eyes to the visual centers of the brain. I've recently looked into other visual problems that are related to the optic nerve and one -- optic nerve atrophy - it rather interesting. Although the condition causes faded and washed out vision, this related information seemed relevant to me: "The optic nerve can also be damaged by shock, various toxic substances, radiation, and trauma." Of course, the "various toxic substances" caught my eye. So, I started thinking that perhaps blotter acid (toxic substances) with a questionable additive do some optic nerve damage? This is just a theory. But, I think it's worth considering. Has anyone else come up with a neuroligical explaination? I am so grateful for this forum. I look forward to connecting. Hope to connect with all of you soon. -Dante
  9. SELF DIAGNOSED I am posting this tonight after a long time of having HPPD, to compare my symptoms to everyone elses, and most importantly be convinced that my symptoms are just symptoms. Like most people with HPPD the anxiety of thinking it is something else can kill, and I am hoping to get some perspective on this here from other people with HPPD. I have read through the forums many times, and have seen my symptoms many times, but I guess something about me posting it gives me some sort of peace of mind? You input it greatly appreciated! I am a 20 year old, college student. Healthy & Athletic (All my life) HPPD 2 Years Symptoms: (100% of the time symptoms increase with anxiety) -Blue Field Entopic Phenomena (White blood cells visible against blue sky) -Visual Snow -Trails on lights in dark. Especially RED -Random lines at night -Scintillating multi colored patterns in white walls in certain lighting (like a line of tie die through my vision that kinda morphs around) -Outlines, "Auras" around people/objects against light backgrounds (re appeared after further drug use, disappeared for a while) -VERY slight Depersonalization, derealization. (rarely) -Anxiety -Panic Attacks (Rare) -Slight after images. Pressing on my eye, stare at the tv screen, etc. (Can get images out of them if i'm super anxious, very rare though) Drugs taken: Ecstasy, Adderral, Weed -Ecstasy: Timing: Ecstasy at 16. 3 month period (often) until bad trip. 1 year & half later BOOM HPPD Symptoms. (VERY late onset) Started again (foolishly) A year ago, dosed pretty heavy every once in a while (monthly), quit about 3months ago after anxiety killed me (&truthfully want to change my life) -Adderral: Once RIGHT before my first HPPD symptoms occurred. Had first Panic Attack, started noting HPPD symptoms shortly after. -Weed: Periodically since I was 15. Never been a big fan due to it generally caused me anxiety. Medical History: (I've never mentioned the drugs) -Struggled with anxiety & migraines as a young kid. Disappeared until it resurfaced with HPPD (Not migraines just anxiety) -Neurologist (I described most the symptoms) Dismissed it as something he didn't see as worrying -Optometrist (Diagnosed with astigmatism) -Ophthalmologist (Assured me nothing wrong with eyes) I have NEVER taken LSD/ACID & maybe this has a correlation as to why my symptoms are not as bad as other people having hppd? I'd say compared to some things I have read on this board, my symptoms are definitely lighter than others. ?????? Does this sound like a typical case of HPPD and nothing else? I really wonder sometimes if there could be something else wrong with me. I've never had a brain scan or mri but is it really necessary? What else could it all be? Thanks!
  10. Hey everybody I'm suffering from what i believe to be hppd from an LSD trip 3 months ago. i've also been experimenting with all sorts of drugs in the past. My symptoms are mainly visual snow all day (it get worse at night and in the dark), some after images and that awful feeling of being here but not here and that nothing seems real, like being in a haze, disconnected from everything (DP/DR). At first the doctors thought i had a psychosis and put me on an anti-psychotic (olanzapine) that didn't really help and an SSRI antidepressant (escitalopram) for the depression. After doing some research and talking to my psychiatrist he agreed to let me try Keppra next month. I'm gonna have an EEG and a blood test done (already got a MRT that showed nothing). I'm gonna keep you updated i hope that it will work
  11. Hello there! My name is Natalie. <: This will probobly be a long post. Simply me writing down my feelings and stuff. Just felt like I needed to warn you guys. <: I apologize for my english. Here it goes: I rarely visit anything hppd and depersonalization/derealization related nowadays. I stopped when I discovered that overly attachement to this kind of forums made me more depressed. It was like a reminder of my problem. Always hanging there. I just wanted to forget about everything. And now it's almost a year since that terrible trip on cannabis. It doesn't feel as a whole year has gone since that day, 14th of april. Actually... I can't really measure time. Due to my derealization I can't really feel time. Hard to explain. It feels crazy to think that I had hppd and dpdr on my mind every single day since that day last year.Not a day has gone without me thinking about those problems of mine. Will it be this way my whole life? :c Maybe, maybe not. Time will tell. In June I will turn 20 years old. I just hope that I will not waste the coming years. Gah.. I am thinking too much right now. Can't really focus on where to begin with and can't really understand for myself what I want with this post. I think I just want to sociolize with someone who shares my problems. One of the things that makes me.. calm is that I am not the only one struggling in this shit. Even if I don't want ANYONE to be a part of this problem, it makes me calm knowing that there are people out there going through the same things as me. :c It doesn't feel nice to think so. The symptoms I have are: Afterimages (really bad.. :s), trails, visual snow... damn.. it's hard naming them all when you've lived with them for a year. I don't really know what's normal and what's not. xD Hahah.. I am pretty sure I have most of the usual symptoms on HPPD. I remember writing it somewhere in the beginning of my "trip" through this problem. My symptoms are pretty bad.. Aspecially afterimages.. But, I can manage. I think about them everyday. But I can forget about all the symptoms for like a couple of hours sometimes. <: But those last couple of nights the visual snow was holding me up. :C It's like.. EVERYWHERE. In different colors, always changing its position. :Cc It sucks. And the bright light it's making SUCKS. You can't fall asleep when the "statics" is forming some kind of light. It's like when you "press" on the lids of your closed eyes. Or.. I don't know. :c But.. the light sucks. But I think I hate afterimages most of all in HPPD. I don't have a driving license, so my friends often drive me places. And when I sit in the passengers seat and watch other cars.. DAMN. Those freakin' rear lights everywhere I look. If I see a car in front of me with the rear lights on and I look right and then left.. The lights are copying themselves and I see a bunch of rear lights instead of just a pair. :C Has anyone here got a solution for their afterimages problems? :c If so.. Please do tell if something made things better for you. It is really irritating. And it's not only at night that I see afterimages of everything.. no.. I see it 24/7 with every bright thing I look at. I know that after sitting on the computer a black square (light from the screen) is going to be stuck in my vision for a minute of so. >:C FUU. Hppd isn't actually my main concerne.. I was also really lucky to trigger my DPDR at the same moment as I triggered my HPPD. (----: FML. And It has been my biggest problem ever since. I don't have it in periods like some of you lucky bastards.. I have it 24/7. Derealization is the biggest problem. I don't feel.... real. I am constantly in a dream and I don't really remember how REALITY feels like. I am just "something" stuck in this sort of a GAME. :s (Please, don't think that I am crazy.) I often doubt my existance and question reality. Like: what the f*ck am I doing here? What is this? What am I? It that a chair? What is a chair? How do I know that this is a chair? Just stupid thoughts.. that scare me. :c I am glad to announce that I rarely freak out nowadays. I don't experience anxiety that often. THANKS GOD.. or just.. someone. But I am getting bored to be in this state of.. being? I want to get out. I want to taste the reality again. Everything seems so.. GRAY here. x) Can't really explain it. I just want to.. FEEL. Really feel. I want to know how it felt like to be a human before the DOOMS DAY/14th of APRIL. Sometimes I can walk around without thinking about DPDR, and then snap back and have thoughts like "Where am I?". I am afraid to loose touch with reality. I am afraid to do something stupid just to feel "alive". :c I am afraid to go insane. But hey! A whole human year has gone since that awful day. And.. Nobody suspects that anything is wrong with me. .___. Yeah.. I only told my mother, my boyfriend, some of his friends that were there on that bad trip day, my former best friend who will always be like a brother to me anyway, and to some people that aren't that CLOSE to me. :s My closest friends don't know about this. And hopefully they'll never know. This is the biggest problem of my life and I don't want so many people to know about this shit. :c They don't need to know. I haven't tried any medicine except over-the-counter vitamins like magnesium. I stopped with everything like 6 months ago because they made their job. They calmed my anxiety down. I am greatful for that. But they can't help me with my dpdr and hppd. I haven't tried prescription medicine because I don't want to go to the doctors. I know that there is no cure and that they can not help me. And I don't want everyone to know about my condition. I know that they can prescript me some bezo and stuff. I can't lie.. I am curious. But I don't want to get addicted. I have a feel that I will be if I try. :s I have a few questions for you guys. I would be thankful if somebody answered them. <: 1. In 10 years from now I would maybe thinking about having a baby. Is it possible for the child to inherit my hppd and dpdr? :Cc I am really worried about that. Don't want to ruin anyones life. 2. This year I am probobly going to get a boob job, cuz I love big tits. ;$ 8D And I wondered if the narcosis/morphine (?) can make me "trip" again.. or.. like trigger my hppd and dpdr all over again and make it worse? :C I am scared to be put to sleep. :c What if I trip due to the narcosis? :Cc 3. Again a pregnancy question: When one is in labor they get like .. laughing gas or morphine (?) .. Is it possible that I am going to trip again? :C I don't want to trip. :C Hahah.. :C 4. Is there anything that helps against afterimages? :c 5. Is there anything that brings you back to the "reality" from DPDR? The last two questions I ask because I haven't been on these kinds of forums for like more than 6 months. Maybe you know something new that I have missed in this time. :s But yeah! I think I have written enough for today. 8D Feel much better now. C: Hope someone want to reply so I don't feel so lonely. Hahah. Hugs! Have a nice day. And may the odds be ever in your favor. lol.
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  13. I'm 16 right now, a junior in high school and my HPPD starts the summer of me going into freshman year. I smoked for the first time with one of my close friends and it was some cheap mids.Took about 8-10 decent hits out of a soda can and didn't feel much until i went inside and it hit me. The lights were really bright an I felt like a marshmallow on the couch. It took me awhile to get used to the feeling and at first I was really paranoid but later I ended up having a great time. I remember smoking a few more times soon after that and getting really dazed and didn't really do much but think to myself which stopped me from socializing and having a good time with my friends. Every time I would smoke it took me a little bit and then it would hit me, "I remember this feeling", "I feel like I'm in a dream". This is started me down a bad path in my future and I didn't really want to do much with myself except for experiment with weed. I graduated middle school with 10 kids in my class and I had a few REALLY close friends that I hung onto and all we wanted to do is light up, but I did not smoke a lot at all...I'd say on average like once a week. We eventually split up and went to different high schools but we still chilled on weekends and were really close. A whole year goes by very quickly and I slowly start to realize some static vision, floaters, and a bit of a detached feeling. But I thought this was all normal because of the marijuana despite some very unusual experiences/thoughts I've had in the past. I thought maybe my friends were having the same thing but they just didn't worry about it like I did. I remember opening up to one of my friends at the beach and he assured me that it wasn't permanent and it would go away in a month if I stopped using. He said that it was just normal and I shouldn't worry about. At this point, all my friends I had were very close to me and they all smoked so I decided I was going to hold onto it and just enjoy myself...all of my experiences weren't bad and I actually had a lot of exciting, adventurous highs. As the years rolled on I've came across some unusual experiences that I still remember to this day. It just seemed like sometimes I would have a bad reaction off of as little as 2 or 3 hits...Everything just kind of fades away from reality....my friends look like holograms...Everything is static and dreamlike...I lose myself and don't have an idea who I am anyone...I feel like an alien, generic, empty consciousness. I thought I was in some sort of serious danger... My hearts beating extremely fast and I don't want to die...I was stuck like this forever...I thought people viewed me as weird...I begin questioning if the world is real or just an illusion...I think really deeply and my thoughts, mostly negative, begin to manifest themselves on an unfathomable level...I would just tell my friends that I'm tired and don't feel well and go inside to lay down. When I wake up the next morning I'm fine but a bit foggy and depersonalized. This was such a serious self conflict that I couldn't call quits on the weed. The experiences were so surreal that I could not grasp or understand in my sober mind what this was..It was like waking up from a nightmare and feeling a sense of relief but you keep having the same nightmare all the time. Ok so now couple years go by and I'm now a junior in high school. I actually just recently quit smoking but that was because I absolutely had to. I really wish I stopped smoking earlier on but it was a bad case of depression combined with an inner conflict, which I would call anxiety, that led me to keep doing it. HPPD became so intense that every time I smoked pot I would get intense feelings of discomfort. I would cry because I just didn't feel the same anymore and I felt detached from the people who I knew I loved like my mom and dad. The feelings would take me further and further outside reality and into a life where emotions don't exist. These feelings started very small from when I first starting smoking pot and gradually got bigger and bigger to what they are now. My symptoms now are as follows: chronic neck, back, joint pain. Static vision, sparkly shimmering air and walls. Random spots of color and light flashing in my peripherals for a split second then goes away. Afterimages. Extremely bad depersonalization...the derealization seemed to go away after the first year. Pretty bad depression, lack of confidence (mostly because I feel different, stupid). Unable to feel pleasure. Social anxiety. This still is a burden for me but I'm trying to get myself well grounded. Everyone needs something to live for so I'm trying my best to pursue that to get my mind off of things. I'm keeping an optimistic mind and I KNOW that one day I WILL get better from all of this. I just need to think logically and stop making quick decisions that lead me into trouble. The cure for HPPD is just to forget about it completely. It's like a bee that won't sting you if you just ignore it. I've learned many things from this hellish disorder that will change my life for the better when I finally beat HPPD. Having a grasp on reality is priceless, don't ever take it for granted, I still don't understand why so many people want to escape it by doing drugs. Knowledge and wisdom stem from our understanding of the world...and that truly defines who you are. Always keep a positive mind. Thoughts truly have an enormous impact on our lives. Thoughts control moods/feeling which control actions. Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones and they won't haunt you as much because a more positive outlook will be embedded into your subconscious. Thoughts are the way in which we perceive reality...that is why every single one of us is unique, like 1/6,000,000,000 unique...letting negative thoughts engulf you will cause you to truly believe in them because they are so deeply embedded and will make your reality hopeless, full of depression, and fearful...positive thoughts will inspire you to do more things, get active, and live in the present and enjoy life. I think reading a book helps so much because it takes my mind off things and allows me to explore my mind. For those who have trouble with sleeping, I suggest you start reading...it calms your anxiety and shuts down the thinking processes of the mind, allowing you to fall asleep easier. Things that are helpful to know: -Yes you can HPPD from just marijuana, I am 100% positive it wasn't laced and that this led to my problem. -Reading and exercise are very good for the anxiety related issues. But make sure you don't overdo your exercise... I wrestled for a couple months for school and the over exertion made me go through a period of hell on earth for a few weeks. My symptoms magnified like x3. -No SSRIs, my theory is that HPPD comes from an imbalance in the neurotransmitters and if you take the wrong drug it will continue to put an adverse effect on the unbalanced neurotransmitters and worsen HPPD. SSRI inhibit the reuptake of Serotonin. -Clonazepam (klonopin) will decrease anxiety and has been proven to be very helpful in treating HPPD but not curing it. The Benzo class drugs have an effect on the GABA receptors in the brain and the amygdala which controls anxiety and flight or fight response in the brain. -Accept it, move on, forget. It WONT go away unless to make an effort to stop it. RESPECT TO EVERYONE GOING THROUGH HPPD, I WOULDN'T WISH THIS ON MY WORST ENEMY. JUST KNOW THAT YOU WILL GET BETTER ONE DAY! MUCH LOVE