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Hello everyone, I'm new to posting stuff but I've been an observer of other posts on this amazing website for a while. I am 15 and developed hppd when I was 14 from synthetic marijuana. In my entire life I've taken weed 150+ times, spice(synthetic cannabis)15 times, nitrous 15 times, hydrocodone 2, ritalin 5-7 times, and dxm once. I started smoking weed in mid 8th grade and i new I liked it and didn't want to stop anytime soon. I had so many people tell me not to do other drugs I should have listened but I didn't and now here I am. Eventually I got caught smoking weed and I couldn't medicate at the amount I wanted to with my parents always checking me. This is when spice caught my eye cause it was cheap and barely smelt. I did it about twice untill I had a horrible trip which was the very beginning of my hell. The trip itself was intense, an out of body experience which made me forget everything I've ever known for about 10 minutes. But after that passed and I felt better, something compelled me to smoke spice 6 more time the next day. After that weird episode passed I continued smoking weed with all of the hppd warning signs but I loved drugs so much I didn't want to stop. After a couple months of constant weed use my world was turning upside down so eventually I stopped but it was to late. I had full blow. Hppd and depersonalization, which was the most confusing time of my life. That was maybe 5 or 6 months back and since then a lot has changed. My hppd is about 30-40% better and my depersonalization is about 85-90% better. I've stopped drinking caffeine and have been sober for a while. My main visual symptoms are. Visual snow that is relatively light. Very light afterimages. Severe light sensitivity. I'm positive that these symptoms will slowy go away but Lately there has been no improvement whatsoever . My main goal is to smoke weed again but I'm positive I will, thanks for reason you help me I help yo

I just signed up to this forum and wanted to really contribute something. Let me give you guys some background information on me. I am currently 15 years old and have been sober for approximately 5 1/2 - 6 months. I have used various psychoactive substances a couple months before I was even 13. My entire life(only 15 years), I would always over-indulge into especially habit-forming activities. Sadly, I would lose interest in about everything else there is to life but those habits. For instance; I played video games daily averaging about 6 - 8 hours a day for about 7 years (from 8 years old to this day). I would never exercise or even eat because I just wanted to play all day. Then when I was about 11 years old I got into masturbating quite often. I masturbated sometimes up to 8 times a day and found myself to be depressed much more often. I later found out that sex/masturbation acts in the brain much like the same way many drugs act, by causes a short-lasting high rise in dopamine(natural feel-good chemical) then a long enduring decline. Right now, when I think back to those habits I realized that I was probably prone to becoming addicted to shit like drugs. I started off like many with marijuana(used about 150+ times). I went to any kind of pills then eventually I would use whatever was available. DXM(used about 12 times), diphenhydramine(used about 5 times along with DXM usually), nitrous oxide(used about 10 times), computer duster(used about 3 times), air freshener(used about 40 times), hydrocodone(used about 5 times), xanax(used twice), cocaine(used twice), ecstasy(used 9 times), alcohol(used 5 times), spice(synthetic cannabinoids used about 40 times), codeine(used about 3 times), tobacco, amphetamines(used twice), and those are the drugs I can remember using. The most damaging drugs I feel like I used were definitely all inhalants, DXM(sent me to the ER), and spice(sent me to the ER). I believe to have gotten HPPD from my use with DXM mostly and the diphenhydramine/inhalants/spice. My HPPD consists of intense visual snow, sometimes objects getting wider/narrower, and pattern/cartoon like designs on inanimate objects(tigers, robots, weird shit, etc.) none of it is colorful though. Occasionally I see something at the corner of my eye like a cat that is not actually there but it is pretty rare. I have quit using any and all psychoactive substances(even caffeine) for the past 6 months. I have had anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and depression along with the HPPD. The anxiety and panic attacks have definitely gotten better though as time went by. I use to never exercise but once I quit using all drugs I started a daily routine of going to the gym or playing basketball for at least 30 minutes a day and that has vastly improved my anxiety. I can't even remember the last time I got a panic attack but I guess it was a couple weeks ago. The depression, however, is still present as well as the HPPD. I undeniably have brain damage as well, vision loss, memory loss, hearing loss and anything else associated with brain damage I have it. It is not traumatic nor major but it is still brain damage. I have some major loss of interest in just about everything except for masturbating and playing video games still. My HPPD has not been improved in the past 6 months that I have been clean but I feel like with a better sleep schedule and more exercise/better nutrition it will be easier to just go on with it and ignore it. I currently sleep at about 2 - 3 AM in the morning and night time is when the HPPD is most prevalent but I am so used to sleeping that late that it is difficult to adjust to a new schedule. I have not tried any medication to help my HPPD but I am definitely considering it. I will update you guys at least monthly to tell you how I am doing with everything. Hopefully I help someone else out with the same/similar problems as me. I will try to limit how much I masturbate, how much time I spend on video games, and adjust my sleep schedule to hopefully reduce any stress/anxiety tied into them as I strongly believe that anxiety/stress play a major role in worsening/maintaining HPPD. I want to regain interest in other things in life as much as I want my HPPD gone. The best thing to do is to never give up on your goals, and that is exactly what I am going to do. Never give up, even if you can't fully complete the goal just compromise as best as you can. ~TheSoberPotato

Hi everyone. My name is Erik, i live in Sweden and i got HPPD in February this year after a ridiculously horrible trip from synthetic marijuana. This had totally ruined my life, i can't think straight and everything feels unreal and far away which has forced me to drop out of school and seeking help from doctors, even though there is no help. I got all the symptoms that are characterized for HPPD and this had made me suicidal and i cry every day. I've got in contact with another person from Sweden who also got HPPD from synthetic marijuana, but i wonder if there's other people on this forum who got it from that drug and i'm interested in how your HPPD has developed over time. Erik.

I'm going to tell a short version of my story and which symptoms I have experienced. But to begin with I have to say that my english maby isn't so good. I hope that someone have the time to read this because I really need to get help. I smoked some kind of spice (synthetic weed) 7 months ago. I had a bad trip that was horrible but after a couple of hours I went back to normal again. But then, 3 weeks later, I suddenly got a "flashback". It felt excactly like I was in the bad trip again and I got panic. But I went back to normal even after that. But then, when I woke up the next morning I had visual snow. I thought it was just some kind of hangover from the flashbacks first, but it went days and the visual snow did not disappear. Everything started to feel unreal, It felt like I was in a dream. That was the derealization. I also felt like I was losing myself, my memory was very bad and I felt a scary distance to my life I had before I took the drug. My feelings even felt unreal. I guess it was the depersonalization. I could not go out anymore because everytime I tried a got a panic attack because of all the symptoms. But I went to a doctor and she gave me some benzo and sent me away. But the benzo didn't help so I used Dr.Google instead and found HPPD. I felt like: This is it. This is the disorder that I have. I had at that point even started to have after images, floaters and trails. I tried to explain for the doctor what I thought, that I had HPPD. But she didn't knew what it was (I live in Sweden and it seems like not a single doctor knows what HPPD is here) Anyway, I was sent to many different doctors and they just say that everything was fine with me, they could not find some problem with me. This is a hell and if I have to live with this symptoms my hole life, No then I dont want to live. I cant do anything anymore. I cant go out, I cant even be in a light room without sunglasses. My life has falling apart and I have to get help soon. I have lived with this for 7 months and everyday is a fight for survival. So my questions to you: Is it someone out there who knows if spice can lead to HPPD? And do you believe that my symptoms is HPPD? Im completely sure of it but if someone outside could tell me what they think it had been very good. The doctors here in Sweden have nothing to say about it.

Sorry, I accidentally posted up my story twice.