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  1. So I figured it might be a good idea to have a thread where I just generally post about everything that's been happening with my situation specifically, so as to have a solid record of my progress in one place but also to have input from others. I'll still post other threads and comments elsewhere on the site of course, but this'll help to keep me coming back and engaging with the forum hopefully. Of late my mood has improved a lot, though I'm not sure that there's been any lessening of symptoms. I'd say the lack of pressure to do anything specific i.e. study/work is part of that, though doing nothing of much importance is stressful in itself... also, I'm still taking Cymbalta, and it's definitely been instrumental in my improved mood. I've organised to hang out with a friend I haven't seen in a while tomorrow, which is good. Always a bit stressful to interact with people who are still functioning, but he's got mild HPPD as well and has a good understanding of how I got to where I am so he's empathetic and a good bud overall. I spent a few months completely off the social radar, ignoring any attempts at contact and so on, so I'm glad to feel comfortable talking to people again, even though I'm still very aware of the pressures that come with having largely fallen out of step with the rest of the world. I've been looking into volunteer positions and getting some qualifications under my belt so that I can seek employment soon, so fingers crossed for that working out... TAFE courses open next semester and I'd like to feel good enough to enrole in something. I mentioned to a couple of people in the chat room that a doctor had been very kind and receptive to me describing my symptoms and agreed to look into Keppra... well, it turns out that Keppra's a restricted drug in Australia and I have to see a specialist to be prescribed it so here's hoping I land an open-minded and kind one straight up rather than bouncing back and forth like so many people wind up doing. The GP said that if she could've prescribed it she would've as well. Odd that GP's are able to hand out prescriptions for potent antidepressants and benzos here but not something like keppra :S ah well. I've got an appointment with a psych I saw for my depression issues about this time last year on the 4th of June... wish me luck! After reading around I've once again decided to look into the herbal/nootropic treatment options, and I've ordered a capsule-filling machine and some powdered valerian, ashwagandha, and ginkgo. At the very least it'll give me a mundane activity to do while listening to some of the albums I've been wanting to check out, hah. Oh, I managed to get some kava shipped from the UK as well, so here's hoping it gets to me! I'm very excited to try it. Not sure if I ought to wait until after my psych appointment to try this stuff, though... Symptoms at present are much the same; very troubling cognitive stuff going on, as usual, with DP/DR being the big ones - I can't help but feel that a lot of my other cognitive issues stem from them, which sucks but is also reassuring because then it'd be a two-birds-with-one-stone situation. Guess we'll see. Quite stupidly, I guess, I've partaken in marijuana a few times over the last few weeks, and today I've felt the most out of it I have in a while... Hopefully just related to oversleep. What's reassuring is that I've been able to be high without it triggering the horrible anxiety and looping, negative existential thoughts it used to... Maybe that means I'm nearing the end of the tunnel. Definitely not going to be using it again though until HPPD is far, far, far more cleared up, though. I've been back into coffee lately but I'm going to drop caffeine again too. Oh, incidentally, does anyone else have trouble distinguishing between different mental states? I feel like I'm in such a fog that, for example, there's no clear distinction between being sober and high or drunk. Nor is there really a huge difference between feeling rested and tired. It's a bit concerning... Finally, even though Cymbalta has helped enormously with anxiety there are definitely some troubling side effects going on so, if the psych is funny about keppra or anything, I'm going to at least ask him to swap me to Lexapro. Basically it's definitely exacerbated DP/DR, absolutely killed my appetite to the point where I only ever feel satiated or very slightly peckish - not good for a slim, growin' boy, makes me feel drowsy all the time - I woke up after 7 hours of sleep today, mowed the lawn, had breakfast, then crashed out for another 5 hours... i've been up for 5 more and am about to head off again, and has made reaching orgasm quite the challenge, which is a heap of fun. I've heard SNRI withdrawal is the absolute pits, unfortunately That's about it for the moment, I guess. There's definitely stuff in the future to look forward to
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