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Hey guys, I haven't been on this site in quite some time, but I was reflecting on the past 6 years of perceptual disturbances and thought that I would write a post that may shed a different light on HPPD. I am very thankful that HPPD has become a part of my life(yes, even when I start melting or the room keeps changing sizes). I'm sure by this point many of you are thinking "wow, this guy is fucked in the head" , but let me elaborate a bit more. At this point in my life I am happy, I love who I am, and I am in a great place despite my visual and tactile disturbances not wavering in the slightest. Pre-HPPD, however, I could say none of the good things I listed above. I lived my life constantly brushing my anxiety, depression, and insomnia under the rug like it didn't exist. HPPD amplified these problems to a point where I could no longer just pass them off. It forced me to change. I had to open up to people about myself and my problems like I never had to before. I had to focus on the things that I could control (anxiety, depression) rather than the things that were out of my hands(perceptual disturbances). This was not an easy process at all. I struggled immensely for a year before I developed the coping skills I needed to allow myself to be happy. One of the biggest turning points for me was when I was finally able to forgive myself for the long series of decisions I made to get myself caught up in in everything. I fortunately haven't had any other trauma in my life, but that almost made it harder to forgive myself for creating such a traumatic event for myself all because I wanted to get high. I also thin that it was important that I accepted the fact that HPPD was a part of me; this is the way I see things now and that ok. In fact its more than ok! I have a hugely different perspective on life than I did before and I think that is one of my biggest assets in life. I couldn't imagine where I would be if HPPD didn't come into my life (probably still getting high off of stupid shit all of the time with no future plans). HPPD helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my life (though I almost dropped out because of it) HPPD is the reason I became a social worker and have a great job that I love HPPD helped me learn the communication skills I needed to open up to someone and have an actual meaningful relationship with someone HPPD stopped me from doing drugs allowing me to eventually become an all-american in cross country. HPPD taught me how to enjoy life while coping with insomnia, depression, and anxiety HPPD made me the man I am today I used to blame HPPD for making my life miserable, but now I see it as an integral part of my life. Wish you guys all the best. - Josh
Hello! i write this thread for say all the possitive things i win through HPPD. I tart first with beginig: I meet HPPD in my first time with 25x NBome as the 15 years old (i ever was impulsive, just really bad set & setting) , after really bad trip i go to a hospital and after the administration of "medication" the bad trip loss anxiety but.... the visuals no left. I say before the trip with 25x Nbome i taste Salvia divinorum (very strong trip, to much respect now), coke , Benzo's and weed , but i not have any secuels for that (except the salvia , a seriously existencial doubt jeje ) really bad firsts months, with strong medication, i left that after 1 month, slowy, because i try left it fast and have a ugly abstinence syndrome (from antypsychotics and benzos) ,with a strong up from synthomps after that i tried with a long list of medication, but i left that and after it, i NOT go back to use medication, just benzos fro recreational use NOW , 1 3/4 year after left the medication, im feel good, really good, "taming" the hppd, the syntoms really back with the time, for moments was like never will progess , but the aceptation was the solution. After left the medication, i never will ahve anxiety, i really think the cause of the anxiety, is the medication, the fear to the future, u must just accept u life, like in salvia trip, i forget my self, i was think "who i am?" "whare are i am?" "what is this?" but in a moment i think "mmm.... ok, this my home now" or something like that, nothing of desesperation NOW i can smoke weed, six months ago i was know i cannot smoke weed ,the visuals are to stronger, but and i moment i think "i can with this, i can TAME this" , and in a real trip (i was in a trip for my country, travel picking up cars, i not know the traduction for that, backpag travelist? maybe) in a natural place, in 3 days, i managed to tame the weed, to tame the visuals, to tame my self, because with hppd, weed are really more psychedelic than before, The hppd was a advantage, why? because with DP/DR i was can decide what to do with my life without any conditioning, without the senses of "good or bad" "yes or not" "real or ilussion" , i was think in a neutral point, because the badtrip of 25x NBome was a real disconection of reality and a hard reset of my brain. Now i think , why live in this society? in this anti-natural place? in this not spiritual place, in this big folly? why this globalited people? product of the occidental society, in a little world, with limited posibilities, with conditionings , in a false world , fishbowl, snowbowl, i this matrix when the real world, the world with 100 milions years old, the natural world, that world which is being sacrificed to maintain modern Western society, because in 200 years of "modernity" we destroy most than the 100.000 years old of human existence, for maintein a little false world, than just exist humans and cities. Next year is time to let know the world, the real world, to travel, too feel,to learn, to discover... ...to live sorry if i use bad english, i speak spanish thanks for read Salut.